Kris Kash Becomes GT Champion; Biker Al Revs Up Tag Team Scene, Kaida Goes Berserk

by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer
May 5, 2009

Much was to be settled as “Mayhem” got underway before an impressive crowd that had many entertainment choices on the cool Saturday night.

Del Douglas v. La Lucha in the Cinco De Mayo Challenge

Del Douglas is out first, complaining how he “hates” La Lucha and “hates” Mexico. His disdain was palpable. La Lucha rushes to the ring and chases the King. King powders then is back in the ring and takes control of the offense.

King goes for a quick pin but La Lucha kicks up. Douglas ties La Lucha to the tree of woe before landing a succession of near pins. Out of nowhere, La Lucha lands the LaCucaracha; however, he is too beaten to follow through with a pin. The two collide in the center of the ring. La Lucha lands the three body presses from the corner, but Douglas kicks out. The fans call for the “Purple Nerpel” and La Lucha pinches his opponent accordingly. The fans eat it up. A series of chops in the various corners continues.

Douglas puts La Lucha in the Royal Sharpshooter but La Lucha slips out of it. La Lucha takes a bite out of Douglas’ thigh. The Mayor of Mexico City bulldogs his opponent from the corner rope but the King somehow kicks out. La Lucha goes for a move and misses. Douglas counters with “Drop It Like It’s Hot” and collects the victory. Douglas chokes La Lucha with his wrist tape before referee Jimmy James breaks it up. La Lucha makes it back to the ring with James.

Biker Al Interview

Kommissioner Biker Al comes out to make a couple of announcements. He says that he has never been pinned in a tag team title match, so he and his cousin Vinnie will cash in his rematch for the tag team championship on June 6. He also suspended Demolition: Ax and Smash.

That brought out KSWA Owner Bobby O. He said that Demolition will face the VIPs, Shawn Blanchard and Lou Martin at Autumn Annihilation. He also set up Biker Al v. Joey Quervo.

Biker Al v. Joey Quervo

Al attacked a drunken Joey as soon as he stepped out of the curtain. He continued to beat on Joey in and out of the ring. Just as soon as Biker Al looked to be in complete control, Joey rolled him over for the one, two and three. Winner: Joey Quervo. Biker Al complained while Joey celebrated in the ring. A little tipsy and perhaps a little shocked, Joey collapsed in the center of the ring and referee Justin Smith tried in vain to wake him up.

Megastar Battle Royal For Chance At Golden Triangle Championship

With Joey Quervo still in the ring, the competitors arrived for the Battle Royal. Del Douglas was immediately tossed out. Biker Al inserts himself into the Battle Royal and he tossed Joey Quervo. Megastars continue to smash each other and attempt to throw each other out. Quervo gets tossed, followed soon by the Great Toyota.

The winner will face Ali Kaida for the Golden Triangle Championship later in the evening. Shane Starr was tossed out. Blood Beast was next. Beast attacked Starr on the outside. Biker Al was tossed by Martin and Kash. Malachi suplexes Rumsky and then Kash. He goes for Martin in the corner and lands the suplex. IT Manager Joe Perri goes after Rumsky on the outside while Malachi uses his considerable size to his advantage. Malachi gives the Irish Hammer to Rumsky. Rumsky is tossed. Martin jaws with Rumsky while Kash drop kicks Malachi. Kash drop kicks Martin then tosses him over the top rope.

Only Kash and Malachi remain. Kash goes after Malachi’s famously bad knee (the knee that kept him out of action for a considerable amount of time a few years ago). Kash manhandles Malachi with hellacious chops. Kash nearly goes out. He pulls the ropes down for a charging Malachi. Malachi goes over and Kash is the winner.

Pick Your Opponent’s Poison: Justin Sane v. Shawn Blanchard

Justin hits the ring before Blanchard (with KSWA Hall of Famer and Advisor to the VIPs, Frank Durso). Durso attacks Justin before the match begins. Referee Justin Smith restrains the Hall of Famer while Sane recovers. Durso slowly descends from the ring apron.

Blanchard blindsides Justin from the outset. Justin recovers after Blanchard preened for the crowd. Sane puts him into an arm bar and climbs the rope for a flip. Sane continues to work the arm. Durso again climbs the apron. Blanchard hits Justin in the eye then punches him down. Blanchard nails a picture perfect spinebuster, and then lands a heart punch. Blanchard throws Sane out onto the concrete and into the waiting clutches of Frank Durso. Blanchard continues the assault on the outside of the ring. Durso climbs into the ring to distract the referee. Justin rebounds and throws Blanchard into the corner post. Justin nearly pins Blanchard once back into the ring. Sane clobbers Blanchard in the head ten times in the corner. Justin continues the offense. Blanchard lands a back elbow. He follows that up with a knee drop on Justin’s forehead. Blanchard hits a sit-down power bomb a move that’s new to the Enforcer’s arsenal. Amazingly, Justin kicks up at two. Justin rallies with enough offense to drop Blanchard. Sane hits the flying leg drop then goes into the corner for Shock Therapy. Lou Martin arrives and hits Sane with a baseball bat. Martin continues to wallop Sane as the referee disqualifies Blanchard. Blanchard threatens to end Justin’s career. Martin cracks Sane twice with a folding chair with terrific velocity. Justin slowly gets to his knees, then he’s wobbly as he gets to his feet. Justin acknowledges the crowd before he goes to the locker room.

VIPs v. Ric Rumsky & Mystery Partner

The VIPs Lou Martin and Shane Starr hit the ring. Ric Rumsky comes out. His tag team partner, Alex Arcadian, wasn’t able to make the event. Ric, hyped up on six Red Bulls, announces that his partner is The Blood Beast!

Beast arrives and the VIPs powder to the outside. Shane Starr is set to start with the hyper Rumsky. Rumsky splashes Starr knee-first in the corner. Shane whirly-birds Rumsky into the matt. That’s enough for Starr to take over. Starr agitates Blood Beast. With referee Justin Smith diverted, the VIPs double team the legal man, Rumsky. The double team continues on Rumsky. Starr drop kicks Rumsky. Martin jaws relentlessly with the crowd. The third member of the VIPs, Shawn Blanchard, arrives on the scene to confab with Durso. Starr continues his assault on Rumsky. Martin hits a double-hammer from the middle corner. Martin provokes Blood Beast again. The double team on Rumsky returns with a helpless Blood Beast across the ring. Blood Beast makes the save as Starr attempts to pin Rumsky. Durso chokes Rumsky on the bottom rope. Martin drops Rumsky. The punches continue on Rumsky. Martin taunts the crowd and Rumsky before he attempts a sloppy cover. Rumsky kicks up and uses his in-ring savvy to hit Martin. Martin tags Starr as Rumsky gets the tag to the fresh Beast. Beast rings Starr from pillar-to-post. Beast goes for the pin, Starr kicks up at two. Starr gets the tag to Martin. Martin floors Beast with a clothes line. Beast recovers and suplexes Martin. Starr breaks up the pin attempt. Beast continues the assault.

Beast tags Rumsky. Rumsky knocks Starr off of the apron. Beast attempts to spit blood into Martin’s face, but Dr. Devastation ducks and Rumsky gets the liquid in the face. In the confusion, Martin kicks the Beast in the stomach and hits the Death Certificate. Martin covers and the VIPs win.

Match Two: Pick Your Opponents Poison

The Latin Assassin, chosen by Shawn Blanchard, makes his way to the ring first. He’s to face the KSWA Champion, Double-A Anthony Alexander.

Jimmy James checks both men and calls for the bell. They shake before locking up in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Latin corners Alexander and breaks clean. Alexander goes right after the Assassin with punches and a head lock. Alexander hits a shoulder block. Latin goes down. Punches continue as a technical match quickly breaks down into a cloud of punches and kicks. Alexander strikes with a bulldog. Douglas hits a series of high power moves and Latin rolls out of the ring to catch a breather. A rattled Latin slowly returns to the ring.

Latin gains offensive momentum and heads Anthony into a headlock in the center of the ring. The Champ refuses to give up. Latin snap mares Alexander and applies a submission move. Alexander will not submit. Anthony falls into a near pinfall. The two go at it until Alexander lands a crushing boot to the mush. Latin falls to the outside. The VIPs, Blanchard and Martin arrive on the scene and attack Alexander. James calls for the bell. Latin grabs Lou Martin’s baseball bat at ringside and attacks the VIPs for the save. After the confrontation, the Assassin and Alexander, who took a few moments to check each other’s intensions, embrace.

Alexander and Latin celebrate with the fans before taking their leave to the locker room.

The Main Event: Kris Kash v. Ali Kaida for the Golden Triangle Championship

Kris Kash, who won a Battle Royal for an opportunity at the Golden Triangle Championship at the beginning of the evening, challenges the snorting, ornery Afghani Assault Weapon, Ali Kaida. Jimmy James shows the Golden Triangle Championship to the crowd, checks the wrestlers and calls for the bell.

Kaida, who outweighs Kash by more than 120 lbs at weigh-in-time, uses his massive size difference to toss Kash about. Kaida claws and digs at Kash’s face after a thunderous slam. Kaida continues to punish the challenger. Kaida goes for a couple of quick pins. James breaks up the count as Kaida went for the choke. Kaida slaps on the Camel Clutch. Kash remains nearly motionless. It’s all Kaida at this juncture of the match. Kash refuses to submit while in a bear hug. Kaida kicks the fallen Kash. Kaida antagonizes the crowd. Kaida resumes the clawing and tearing at Kash’s face. Kaida whips him into the ropes, Kash lands two clothes lines. Both men are down. The double count out goes to four before Kash gets to his feet. Kash punches Kaida in the head. Kash attempts a splash but Kaida blocks it. The pace slows down considerably. Kash hits a superb drop kick. Kash goes for a pin but Kaida kicks up. Kash goes for a second pin but the count is broken at two. Big Mike Malachi, the other member of the International Thugs, makes his way to ringside. He claps for Kaida. Kaida continues the illegal tactics. Kash is in pain as Kaida goes for a pin. He kicks up at two. Kaida whips Kash into the corner. He flips backward onto the Afghani Assault Weapon. Kash pulls up the behemoth. Kash hits the flying leg scissors. Kash, in control, hits Kaida with a series of offensive maneuvers before tossing the Golden Triangle Champion outside. The crowd erupts when Kash shoots himself over the top rope onto Kaida. The crowd chants, “USA! USA!” Both men make their way back in. Kash goes for a maneuver. Kash goes for the pin but Kaida’s foot is on the ropes. Kash pulls Kaida up; Kaida rains blows on Kash. Kris fights back. Kaida scoops him up for a running power bomb. Kaida signals for his finishing move, the sit-down power bomb. Malachi and Perri climb to the apron. That’s enough time for Kash to recover and roll up Kaida. The winner of the match and the NEW Golden Triangle Champion, Kris Kash! The crowd erupts!

Ali Kaida goes berserk, attacks the referee, and Gentleman Joe Perri. Referee Justin Smith runs in, and is attacked. He lays out everyone in the ring. Kaida storms to the locker room while Kash climbs back into the ring to celebrate as the evening comes to an end.