by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer
July 13, 2009
KSWA Krazies that filled the KSWA Arena @ L V M on July 11 were shocked when Shawn Blanchard (with a lot of help from Frank Durso) defeated Double-A Anthony Alexander and became the Heavyweight Champion for a record-extending fifth time.
For moments after Blanchard was declared the winner, fans remained seated, as if they didn't believe what they had seen. Nevertheless, “The Enforcer” celebrated his victory with Durso and the VIPs.
Six Man tag match: Toyota, Badfingers & Douglas v. Napier, Rumsky & La Lucha
The night began with an intriguing six-man tag team extravaganza with Gentleman Joe Perri's growing stable—Great Toyota (against his will) and Chicago tough Bobby Badfingers (eagerly at Perri's side), along with “The King” Del Douglas facing off against rookie sensation Mitch Napier, hyper Ric Rumsky and La Lucha.
In the early going of the match, the “Mayor of Mexico City,” Rumsky and Napier take the advantage. After a few minutes of a beating, Douglas recovers against La Lucha. Great Toyota is tagged in and he goes to work on La Lucha. That doesn't last long as La Lucha gains momentum. Rumsky gets the Krazies to chant their familiar “Burger King” refrain. Napier is tagged in and he stretches Toyota with some exemplary technical moves. Perri distracts Jimmy James and that allows Douglas to come in and break up Napier's submission move.
Bobby Badfingers takes a cheap shot and that allows Great Toyota to regroup and go after Napier. Douglas is tagged in. Douglas gets a two-count on Napier, but the rookie remains alive in the match. Young Napier regroups and gets some offense in on Douglas. Napier splashes Douglas in the corner. Napier gets Douglas into an abdominal stretch and soon five-of-the-six men are forming a conga line of abdominals stretches. The sixth man, La Lucha, climbs to the top rope and hits Douglas with a drop kick. All five men fall backward in a massive heap.
Douglas is able to get up and attack Napier, tying him to the tree of woe. Great Toyota is tagged in and he goes to work on Napier in the corner. Toyota goes for a pin, Napier is up at two. Perri distracts Jimmy James again, and that forces La Lucha into chasing the long-time manager. Napier works on Douglas. Badfingers breaks it up. Three men bash Napier.
Douglas beats on Napier, before turning his sights on La Lucha. Lucha gets momentum and side slams Douglas, setting him up for the three splashes in the corner. Rumsky is tagged in. He goes to work on Douglas, highlighted with splashes in the corner. All six men are then in the ring.
Napier picks Douglas up onto his shoulder and drops him for a maneuver he calls the Sioux Falls. Napier gets the pin for the win.
Post match: La Lucha, Rumsky and Napier celebrate before the excited fans. Great Toyota pleads to be a part of the celebration but Perri won't allow it.
Bulldozer v. Joey Quervo
Detroit, Michigan import Bulldozer makes his way to the ring along with his manager, Gentleman Joe Perri. At 373 lbs, Bulldozer a monstrous 218 heavier than the “Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo. On the outset of the match, Perri entices Quervo to chase him on the outside of the ring. That simply allows Bulldozer to lay in wait for when Joey climbs under the bottom rope. He is met with a flurry of heavy boots. While the lambasting would have slowed another man, Joey was able to regroup with a plan. He went after Bulldozer's knee in an attempt to slow up the behemoth.
Joey gets Bulldozer into the corner and goes for a splash. There he is met with a match-changing clothesline. Joey recovered, went for a sunset flip but it didn't work. Bulldozer easily set up the veteran Quervo for a side slam. The entire ring bounces from the force. Bulldozer gets the easy victory. Bulldozer, along with Perri, goad the crowd while Quervo is helped to the back.
VIPs Promo in the Ring
All three members of the VIPs, along with their Advisor Frank Durso, make their way to the ring. Shawn Blanchard promises to bring the the Heavyweight Championship back to the VIPs. The gang also say that they will bring the Tag Team Championships into the fold as well. They also make veiled references to the Latin Assassin, who was a member of the VIP faction in its first incarnation. The group waits in the ring for the next match.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: VIPs challenge Blood Beast and The Latin Assassin
Blanchard refuses to leave ringside for the match, as he continues to jaw toward Latin. That brings out KSWA Owner Bobby O, who forces Blanchard to the back, lest he give up his title shot later in the evening.
The Latin Assassin goes for a quick pin attempt on Shane Starr. The veteran Latin puts “The Future” Shane Starr in an aggressive headlock. Referee Justin Smith is oblivious to the fact that Durso remains on the apron. Latin continues with the technical moves on Starr, with an arm bar. With Starr unable to gain any momentum, Lou Martin jumps in and hits Latin from behind. Latin tags in Blood Beast, Starr tags in Martin.
Durso attacks Latin on the outside, meanwhile inside the ring, Blood Beast levels Martin with a clothesline. Martin and Starr “shadow” tag and Starr goes after the Blood. He gets the Camp Blood denizen down for only a two count. Starr, in an impressive show of strength, slams the 265 lb Blood Beast. Starr follows that up by whipping Blood Beast into the corner. The VIPs then double team Blood Beast as Durso distracts Smith.
Blood Beast rallies and slams Martin. He goes for a pin, but Martin is up at two. Blood Beast continues with the momentum by hooking Martin into an abdominal stretch. And in an innovative move, Beast slaps Martin in the chest from close quarters. Blood Beast whips Martin toward the corner but he misses the mark with the Latin Assassin lands a lariat from the corner post. Latin follows with a back elbow, knocks Starr from the apron, then sets on stretching Martin. Blood Beast is tagged in and puts a boot to Martin before setting him up for a submission move from behind. Martin rallies and drops Blood Beast with a modified stunner. Starr is tagged in and he goes to work on Blood Beast.
Soon all four men are in the ring. Martin goes for his finishing move, the Death Certificate, but Latin flips him over. Latin climbs to the middle rope but is assaulted in the leg by Durso swinging Martin's trademark wooden bat. Soon thereafter all four men are on the outside, with Latin disabled on the concrete. Martin uses a ringside wrench that was used to tighten ropes on Blood Beast. Referee Justin Smith is forced to count to ten. There is no winner, but the Latin Assassin and Blood Beast hold onto the titles.
Blood Beast and the Latin Assassin return to the ring and challenge the VIPs to come back; however, they argue and refuse to go back into the ring.
Moments later, KSWA Owner Bobby O announces that because there was no winner, a rematch will take place in August.
Hardcore Biker Match: Biker Al v. Vinnie Stone
As stipulated last month, if Biker Al loses the match, he loses his role as Kommissioner of the KSWA. However, if Biker Al wins, he is allowed to “fire” anyone in the Megastar locker room, including Bobby O.
Vinnie starts the festivities by throwing a plethora of damaging items into the ring. Biker Al comes to the ring with his new manager Joe Perri. Vinnie tries to hit Al with a chair right off the bat, but he misses. Al does not miss when he unloads on Vinnie with a oil-change-business sign. Al goes for the quick count but Vinnie is up at two. Al kicks and punches Vinnie. Vinnie regroups and this time connects with a chair. Vinnie follows that up by hitting his former “cousin” in the brain with a kitchen pan.
The hard-headed Al picks up a sign and clubs Vinnie. After some more offense, Biker chokes Vinnie from behind with a set of motorcycle handle bars. In the “anything goes” match, this is legal. Al then pulls a ladder from under the ring and throws it like a dart at Vinnie. Al then hits Vinnie with a Christmas cookie tin. A Krazy at ring side could be heard shouting, “Merry Christmas!”
Vinnie rolls out of the ring and walks to the entranceway. He re-emerges with a sledge hammer. Before he can even make it to the apron, “King” Del Douglas attacks from behind. Again, this is legal. Vinnie is whipped into the corner post, then to the bar in the back. For several moments the offense goes back and forth.
Vinnie grabs a hockey stick from beneath the ring and hits Del. Another baking tin ricochets off of someone's head. More carnage follows. Vinnie flips Del over the top rope and into the ring the hard way. Vinnie then hog-ties Del in the corner with rope. Biker Al picks up the ladder and Vinnie spears him. Vinnie crawls on top of Al and gets the win.
Biker Al is no longer the Kommissioner of the KSWA. Post match, Vinnie celebrates, the King and Biker Al—the one time “Power Duo” of the KSWA—are left grumbling in the ring.
Golden Triangle Championship: Sane v. Malachi v. Kash
The introductions are made and Big Mike Malachi remains seated at ringside, chatting with a couple of female Krazies. Referee Justin Smith can't get him back in so Sane and Kash both dive out to start a count-out. Malachi leaps back into the center of the ring and waits for the opponents to come back in so he can start laying the boots to them. Malachi bodyslams Justin with authority.
Over the next few minutes the offense goes back and forth. Justin Sane gets an advantage on Kris Kash and goes for the pin, Kash is up at two. Malachi then attacks Sane from behind. After some more offense, Kash and Sane team up to suplex Malachi. Kash goes for a pin but Malachi shot puts him off. Kash tries to pin Justin two times, to no avail.
Kash whips Justin into Malachi. The two smaller combatants try to team up on Malachi in the corner but Sane injures his ankle. Kash tries a flying body press but Malachi catches him and tosses him to the mat. Malachi goes outside then comes back in, where Justin kicks the ring ropes into the Irish Bear's private region. Justin's ankle injury is short-lived. Malachi falls to the mat and Justin goes for the pin. The Irish Bear is up at two. Justin hits him with an elbow, Kash goes for the pin but is unsuccessful. Kash whips Justin into Malachi, who is in the corner. Justin falls to all fours, Kash runs and jumps off of him and into Malachi. The action is fast and furious.
Kash lands a splash from the top rope; Justin hits the Shock Therapy frog splash. Justin gets up and walks right into Kash's Whisper in the Wind move. With Justin out, Kash covers Malachi for the pin and the win!
Post match: Kash celebrates, Malachi laments. Sane extends a hand of friendship to Kash and he accepts.
KSWA Heavyweight Championship Match: Blanchard v. Alexander
In vintage fashion, the combatants come to the ring, then are introduced while in their separate corners. Blanchard the challenger first, Alexander the champion second. Moments before KSWA Owner Bobby O pulls back the regularly-scheduled referee, Justin Smith and inserts himself in as referee.
The bell sounds and the two, long-time rivals circle each other in the ring. Frank Durso, who came to the ring with Blanchard as always, doesn't really climb down from the apron. Shawn Blanchard shouts at Anthony Alexander to get the match started. The two link in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Alexander, who weighed in the morning of Summertime Bruise at 259 lbs., shoots Blanchard—who clocked in at a surprising 229 (Blanchard had been training in an attempt to compete in power with his adversary)—across the ring. Blanchard bails to the outside. Durso tries, in vein, to call for a time-out.
Once back in the ring, AA puts the Enforcer in a headlock. Double-A follows that up with a shoulder block, which falls Blanchard. The short-shorn Blanchard accuses Double-A of pulling his hair. Alexander remains in control during the early going, and Durso is never far from the action.
Alexander sends Blanchard into the corner where he lands a flying clothesline. He asks the fans if they want another. They agree. He hits a second one. The third move is met with a back elbow to the chin from a woozy Blanchard. Alexander tries to shake the numbness from his arm. The offensive surge doesn't last as Alexander shoots Blanchard into the corner, he flips over the top and onto the apron. That's where Alexander meets him with a clothesline.
Now on the outside, Blanchard goes for the eyes. Alexander rallies and sends Blanchard into a table. Blanchard recovers and attacks Alexander on the outside. Blanchard climbs back into the ring and Durso descends on Alexander. Alexander gets back into the ring, muscles some offense and goes for a pin. Durso breaks up Bobby O's count. Blanchard clotheslines Alexander. Blanchard proceeds to go to work on Alexander's leg. He drops a knee on AA's knee. Blanchard gets too close and Alexander nearly rolls him up for a quick one, two, three. Blanchard kicks up.
Nevertheless, Blanchard is still in control. He locks in a Figure Four on the champion. Blanchard uses Frank Durso and the ropes for leverage. AA howls in pain. His shoulders fall to the mat for a two-count. Bobby O notices the infraction with Durso and kicks Blanchard's hands off the ropes. Blanchard is slow in breaking up the leg lock, as he claims to have been stuck. Later he'd laugh and announce to anyone within earshot that he wasn't stuck.
Blanchard locks in the Figure Four again, but this time the move is short-lived. Alexander grabs him by the throat and picks him up for a deafening choke slam. Blanchard is able to kick up at two.
Alexander gets up and Durso hammers him in the hamstring. Blanchard uses the distraction and gets a 2 ½ count.
Out of nowhere, Alexander hits his finishing move, the Prime Time Cancellation. Remarkably, Blanchard is up at two. AA follows that up with a clothesline and bulldog, but he cannot put Blanchard away.
With Blanchard in the corner, Double A goes for another running clothesline, but the challenger pulls Bobby O in too close and he gets wiped out.
Durso whacks Double-A in the back of the head with brass knuckles that were hidden somewhere. Double-A goes down. Blanchard goes for the pin, and Bobby O slowly counts to three.
The winner and the new KSWA Heavyweight Champion, “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard. The Krazies are stunned and don't really react for several minutes. Blanchard, Durso and VIPs celebrate in the ring while Alexander, in disbelief, walks slowly back to the locker room.
Thus ends Summertime Bruise.