November 7, 2011
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
For a few precious and exciting moments, it looked as if Jay Flash had pulled off the biggest upset in the history of the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance. Flash had just knocked down the reigning and current KSWA World Heavyweight Champion, Ali Kaida. Stunned, Kaida settled on the mat near the south east corner of the ring inside the Sharpsburg Fire Department. Flash covered and referee Shawn Patrick counted the one, two and three. Patrick called for the bell and the announcement was made. Jay Flash was the "new" KSWA Champion. The crowd almost didn't immediately recognize what had happened. Their appreciation soon swelled to a deafening level. Patrick handed the gold belt to Flash and the South Beach, Miami Florida resident dropped to his knees with emotion. Meanwhile, Interim Kommissioner Gentleman Joe Perri was pointing out something he had seen to KSWA Owner Bobby O. Ali Kaida's leg, and half a torso, under the bottom rope. The pin was in error.
But first, there were other developments in the KSWA.
Canadian Perfection v. Diamond Dave and Tony Johnson
The cold-hearted duo from Canada made their way to the ring before Diamond Dave and "The Ice Man" Tony Johnson. Diamond Dave hooks up with J.P. Goulet and the Canadian gets his opponent into a headlock. Dave tricks him into reversing the mood but Goulet recovers and gets some offense. After selected moves, both Megastars tag in their partners. Drew Belanger gets some offense on the Jr. Heavyweight Champion and gets him to the mat. Johnson powers out and gets a wrist lock on Belanger. Johnson takes control as Belanger retreats to his corner. Johnson gets the Krazies riled up, then opponents trade a series of moves on the mat. Johnson gets crowd approval to tag in Diamond Dave. Diamond gets offense on J.P. Goulet--who has been tagged in--before Belanger knees Dave in the back from the apron. Diamond is back in the Canadian's corner for abuse. Belanger kicks a seated Diamond Dave in the back. Goulet is tagged in. Goulet kicks Diamond as well, as the long-locked Megastar rolls on the mat, in pain. Belanger is tagged back in and he kicks Dave. The Canadians trade off, as Goulet gets Dave in a seated headlock. Dave musters his way up but Goulet pulls him down from behind by the flowing mane. Diamond is just out of Johnson's reach. Belanger tosses Goulet and his forearm into Dave's sternum. Dave kicks out at two as Belanger goes for the pin. The Canadians pull Dave up and apply a double knee drop. Johnson is baited in but referee Justin Smith stops him. The Canadians attack Dave and get a near fall. Belanger hammers Dave in the corner. Belanger goes for a big elbow drop and Dave misses. Both men are nearly counted out before getting to their corners. Johnson cleans out the ring and gets a near fall on Goulet. Goulet counters with a dive off the ropes and floors The Ice Man for a two count. Goulet gets up and is immediately caught in Johnson's back breaker in the ring. Belanger shoves Johnson into a door on the outside and Dave is caught on the top rope, crotch-style. The Canadians take advantage and pin Dave. The Canadians make their way back to the locker room as Diamond Dave and Johnson regroup.
Golden Triangle Champion: Badfingers vs Arcadian
Arcadian takes early advantage with a wrist lock. Badfingers is quick to get his own momentum. Arcadian gets Badfingers in a headlock and floors him with a shoulder block. Arcadian gets more momentum as Badfingers bails to the outside. Arcadian follows and double noggin knockers Badfingers into Mayor Mystery. Badfingers is rolled back in but the champion gets control once Arcadian climbs back inside the squared circle. Mayor Mystery distracts referee Jimmy James as Badfingers connects with a low blow on Arcadian. Badfingers puts the boots to Arcadian and floors him. Badfingers is in control as he rakes Arcadian's eyes over the top rope. Mayor Mystery plants his cane into Arcadian's skull as James was once again distracted, this time by Badfingers. Arcadian rallies with offense of his own but that's short-lived as Badfingers lays a boot into Arcadian while in the corner. Arcadian gets some offense and drop-kicks Badfingers. Mystery is once again on the apron. Arcadian comes over to check on Mystery and the cane is jettisoned into Arcadian's forehead. Alex goes down for the one-two-three.
Jonny Axx and Blood Beast v. Kris Kash and Mitch Napier
Napier starts out with Axx in the ring. Axx gets some early offense and flips Napier in the center of the ring. He applies a rear chin lock and keeps the Number One Contender for the KSWA Championship on the mat. Napier quickly reverses Axx's offense and hip tosses him in the corner. Then Axx is cornered for a series of fists to the head. Kash is in and he hits a drop kick on Axx. Axx is whipped into the corner and Kash follows with a splash and tilt-a-whirl drop kick. Napier is tagged in again and he floors Axx quickly. Axx reverses the offense and gets Mitch down. The Blood Beast is tagged in. Beast spins and lands a huge clothesline on Napier. There's a two-count. Mitch gets offense on Blood Beast and tags in Kash. Kash cannot muscle the Blood Beast. Beast gets Kash in an abdominal stretch. Mayor Mystery adds leverage from the outside. Referee Shawn Patrick doesn't see it. Napier attempts to break up a pin attempt and he's ushered back to his corner by the ref. Axx is back in and he continues the assault on Kash. Axx gets his huge mitts on Kash with a rear chin lock, then he drops a leg. Two count. Kash is whipped into Blood Beast's lair and the ref is distracted by Napier. Beast gets tagged in and he slams Kash twice. Kash misses a Beast clothesline and floors the behemoth with a flying body block. The Krazies are encouraging him to get to Napier. He does and Mitch goes to work on Axx. Napier slams Axx and goes to the top for an elbow. Mitch manages only a two-count. Mitch and Jonny battle on the mat. Mitch goes for an arm-bar type submission move but Axx muscles out. He slams Mitch for a near fall. Axx tags Blood Beast in and he bodyslams Napier. Napier recovers and suplexes the enormous Blood Beast. Blood Beast isn't much effected and he is able to attack Mitch. That riles up Kash who tries to get in. Soon all four Megastars are in. Shawn Patrick is leveled. He calls for the bell. The match is thrown out. The Legion of the Apocalypse is at full force when Ali Kaida races in to the ring and they continue to beat on Kash and Napier. Joe Perri comes to the ring and threatens to fire the Legion if they continue the onslaught. They barely listen and Perri banishes Mayor Mystery from the next event, scheduled for November 19 at Immaculate Conception School on November 19.
Shane Starr Interview
Shane Starr comes to the ring in advance of his Main Event match with "The Enforcer" Shawn Blanchard. Starr says that Blanchard doesn't know what he's in store for with the Strap Match. The Krazies in attendance are entirely in Starr's corner.
KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Jay Flash v. Ali Kaida
Jay Flash is in first. Ali Kaida is in second. Jay Flash takes immediate control of Kaida and the Champion bails to the outside to collect himself. He's back in for more Jay Flash offense. Kaida powders a second time and is met with a Jay Flash dive from the outside. On the outside, Ali Kaida takes over. He rams Flash into the ring steps then onto fans' seats. Kaida tosses Flash in the ring, then onto the corner post. A thunderous "USA" chant explodes throughout the fire hall. Kaida gets Flash down for a pin attempt. There's a two-count as Kaida arrogantly puts a boot on Flash's chest. Kaida twists Flash's neck as the South Florida native is seated on the mat. Kaida bodyslams Flash in the center of the ring. Flash goes for a body splash but Kaida catches him and tosses him down. Kaida goes for a more conventional cover as Flash kicks out. Flash is up and gets Kaida into the corner. That offense is short-lived as Kaida splashes Flash in the corner. A series of thunderous forearms are planted on Flash. Flash recovers and boots Kaida in the corner. Flash lands a series of punches. Ali Kaida gets him into a submission move. Flash battles out. Flash boots Kaida while he's on the apron. There's a big splash. Two-count on Kaida. Both men are exhausted. Flash lands the Cannonball splash. Flash gets the three count and the win! But wait!! Gentleman Joe Perri and KSWA Owner Bobby O announce that Ali Kaida was under the ropes and the match is ordered restarted. Ali Kaida immediately power bombs Jay Flash and gets the win. The winner and still KSWA Heavyweight Champion: Ali Kaida.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: Party Gras v. The King & Jester
The Jester and King make their way to the ring, then the party begins when Party Gras hit the ring. Justin Sane and Lord Zoltan take their time getting the Krazies in a fever-pitch fury. The Jester is in the ring with Lord Zoltan. Zoltan grabs The Jester's hat. He puts it on Shawn Patrick's head. Then fakes tossing it to the fans, then whips his buttocks with it. Zoltan stomps the mat as the match is officially launched. The Jester is leery about getting started. Jester says Zoltan will pay for the move. Zoltan teases tagging Justin Sane in before grabbing Jester's wrist. Zoltan twists it repeatedly. Justin is tagged in for more arm wringing. Zoltan is back in and he goes to work on Jester's arm with more wringing and twisting. Jester reverses the move. Zoltan may or may not bite Jester's shoulder with referee Patrick distracted. Jester gets in. Del Douglas pump-handles Zoltan's arm on the apron. Then a second time. Zoltan takes offense on Jester. Douglas pump-handles again. This time it's the Jester's appendage. Justin Sane points it out. Douglas screams at the horror and lets go. Jester falls to the mat, Douglas can be tagged in. Justin Sane goes to work on Douglas with a suplex and stomps. Zoltan is tagged back in. He goes to work on Douglas. Zoltan tags Sane in. More offense. Sane tags Zoltan. Zoltan tags Sane. They have complete command of the match. Zoltan claps his own hand and climbs back in. Referee Shawn Patrick is none the wiser. Douglas's screams are barely audible over the crowd. Zoltan uses wrist tape on Douglas then claps his own hands. Sane is back in for more of the same gouging. Sane chops Del Douglas' chest as the King is seated on the mat. Zoltan is back is as Justin Sane yaps at Patrick. Zoltan may or may not be using the wrist tape again. Sane rushes in and goes for the pin with Patrick on the other side of the ring. Zoltan taps three times and dances briefly, but knows they haven't won. Jester gets some offense and suplexes Sane. There's a two-and-a-half count. Sane is up. The Jester is in Zoltan's face. He goes for another pin but Zoltan breaks it up. Douglas rakes Sane's throat over the top rope. Douglas is back in as Sane is down. Douglas goes for the fist that's banned "In 49 out of the 50 states." Douglas lands it but Zoltan breaks up the tag by pulling at his trunks. Douglas slaps on the Royal Sharpshooter. Douglas breaks it and lifts Sane up. Douglas chops Sane in the chest while grabbing his privates. The Jester is in for more offense. A reverse chin lock is applied to Sane. Zoltan stomps on the outside. Sane battles back but he's met with a flying cross body block. Douglas is back in and buries his knee into Sane's midsection. Douglas got too close to Zoltan on the apron and the Brawler from Bourbon Street raked his throat over the top rope. Douglas went down. He was able to tag in Jester. Jester bodyslams Sane and follows up with a pin. Two count. Sane lands a cross body block. Both men are down. Jester gets to The King, Sane gets to Zoltan. Zoltan with lefts on the Jester. He grabs both men and double noggin knocker time. All four Megastars are in the ring. Jester and King get 10 shots in the head. They are rammed together in the middle of the ring. The Jester falls to the outside. The King is prone for Justin Sane's Shock Therapy splash. The winners and still KSWA tag team champions: Justin Sane and Lord Zoltan. The Jester carries The King out. Zoltan and Sane celebrate with the Krazies.
Dr. Devastation Lou Martin v. The Latin Assassin
Lou Martin comes in with Frank Durso. The Latin Assassin, it turns out, cannot make it to Sharpsburg from New York City. KSWA Owner Bobby O announces that The Masked Marvels--The Great Toyota and The Drunken Luchadore Joey Quervo in for a handicapped match. Both Marvels can be in the ring at the same time. It wasn't much of a handicapped match, with Frank Durso interfering at every turn. Martin drapes both Marvels over the middle rope and jumps on them both. It's all Lou Martin. He hammers on Toyota's back. With Frank Durso distracting referee Justin Smith, Martin takes liberties with knees to the midsection and lower. Martin lays into Quervo. Martin continues the onslaught. Martin whips both Marvels into the corner and splashes them. Not long after that, the Marvels get their first significant offense of the match. The both attempt to pin Martin but he digs out. All this brings Durso back to the apron. Martin delivers a Double Death Certificates to his opponents. He gets the win. Durso enters the ring and kicks both Marvels out of the ring. Martin beats the Marvels on the outside. He double noggin knockers both Megastars. An angry Martin stomps and pounds on the Marvels and KSWA Owner Bobby O, who is near the ring, threatens to reverse the decision. Martin leaves in disgust.
The Main Event: Strap Match Shawn Blanchard v. Shane Starr
The referees have boycotted this match, saying that they are endangered by, among others, Frank Durso. KSWA Owner Bobby O inserts himself into the match as the Guest Referee and he bars Durso from getting involved in this otherwise No-DQ affair. Shane Starr gets the early advantage on Blanchard. Durso climbs to the apron and he's admonished by Bobby O. Starr whips and strangles Blanchard with the strap. But then Blanchard gains the upper hand. Blanchard wraps the strap around his fist and socks Starr with it. He then whips Starr on the back with the belt. Blanchard is relentless with the weapon. Starr is on his back in the middle of the ring. Every time Starr gets to his feet, Blanchard blasts him with a strap-covered right jab. Blanchard chokes Starr with the belt--it's all legal in this event. Starr is down as Blanchard buries a knee into his hamstrings and in between. Blanchard prances for the crowd. Starr is up and blocks a right. Starr recovers with a few flurries of his own before Blanchard knocks him down once again. Blanchard goes to the outside and wraps Starr's arm around the ring post. On the outside, Blanchard buries rights. Then there's a high-impact lashing with the strap. Blanchard rams Starr into the ring post. Starr is then rammed into the fire house garage door. Blanchard rolls him back in. There's a two-and-a-half count. Blanchard continues on the offensive by whipping Starr with the belt. Starr climbs to his feet and counters Blanchard's whip into the ropes. Starr floors Blanchard and chokes him with the strap. Bobby O chases Frank Durso on the outside. Starr gets Blanchard to tap out. Bobby O sees it and calls for the bell. The winner of the match: Shane Starr! Starr celebrates with the Krazies as Durso enters the ring to console Blanchard.
Thus ends the Sharpsburg Volunteer Fire Department Road to FanFest event.