March 29, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
A record-breaking Joe Abby Tournament crowd watched as tag teams battled for the prestigious championship and a shot at Keystone State Wrestling Alliance duo gold. In addition, two long-time wrestling stalwarts who have made the KSWA “home,” received the promotion’s highest honor.
First round: Douglas/Jester v. Johnson/Rumsky
The single-elimination tag team tournament started in fine fashion with “The King” Del Douglas and “The Jester” representing Millvale, with “Ice Man” Tony Johnson fairing from St. Louis, and Ric Rumsky bringing his intensity from Bellaire, Ohio. From the outset of the match, Douglas and Rumsky tied up. Rumsky got some of the early offense in with a clothesline and drop kick. Douglas soon bailed and tagged in Jester. It was still Rumsky’s momentum and he got a two count on The Jester. Johnson was in and the Jester was sent down a second time. Johnson landed a back elbow and that dropped the King’s right hand man again for a two count. Douglas was tuned up for this match. He was yelling at a fever pitch. Jester used that inspiration to drop Jester onto the top rope. Douglas was tagged in and he laid the forearm smash on Johnson. Douglas was all over Johnson. The two feuded last year and they know each other well. Douglas grabs Johnson by the privates. A reverse knife-edge chop falls Johnson and there is a two count. With Johnson down, Douglas goes after Rumsky. The referee gets in the way and that allows the Royal twosome to gang up on Johnson. Jester is tagged in and he drops a knee onto Johnson’s forehead. He goes for the pin and Rumsky breaks up the pinfall attempt. Jester gets Johnson in a front face lock and controls the situation. With the ref turned the other way, Douglas uses the ropes to stall Johnson. Jester then gouges at The Ice Man’s face. Out of nowhere, Johnson hits an arm drag on the Jester. But Johnson misses with a drop kick and that allows Douglas to charge back in. Douglas puts the boots to Johnson before slapping on the Royal Sharpshooter. Johnson battles it for a while before finding the bottom rope. Douglas breaks the hold momentarily before dragging Johnson to the center of the ring a second time for a Sharpshooter. Johnson nearly folds under the pressure again before suddenly being able to roll Douglas up for a near pin fall. The two Megastars hit each other and fall to the mat before being able to get to their individual corners. Rumsky and Jester are in. Rumsky lands his impressive knees-first splash in the corner on a prone Jester. Rumsky tosses the interfering Douglas out of the ring. Rumsky goes to superkick Jester but he reverses the whip. Johnson catches Rumsky’s superkick and falls to the mat. Jester covers the Ice Man for the one, two, three. Winning and advancing to the finals of the Joe Abby Memorial Tournament: Del Douglas and The Jester. They celebrate. After a few moments, Johnson and Rumsky survey the situation before leaving on opposing ends of the ring. Rumsky was overheard telling Johnson, “It’s okay. Next time.”
Ali Kaida (w/Mayor Mystery) Addresses The Krazies
The Afghani Assault Weapon gets into the ring and takes the microphone. This is rare for Ali Kaida, who usually allows the Manager of the Legion of the Apocalypse Mayor Mystery to do most of his talking. Kaida demanded a match for the KSWA Heavyweight title Saturday night, as he (rightfully) pointed out that he was never pinned for the belt. However, a title match was already scheduled. Out of nowhere, “Rock Star” Diamond Dave Diamond hit the KSWA Arena. He got into the ring and got into Kaida’s face and demanded a match of his own. Amused, Mayor Mystery approved the arraignment. Before the introductions could be made, Ali Kaida attacked Diamond. Kaida was all over Dave. Kaida landed one of his patented over-the-top suplexes. Kaida pounds Dave more and goes for a lazy cover. There’s a two count. Dave gets his shoulder up. Diamond takes this opportunity to get in a little bit of offense. Kaida doesn’t stand for it and lands another suplex. Kaida gets Dave in the Camel Clutch. The Rock Star from 1985 can’t hold out and he taps. The winner is Ali Kaida. Kaida plants Dave with a power bomb for good measure before leaving the ring.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: Blanchard (w/Durso)/Crane v. Party Gras
“Nasty” Nick Crane comes to the ring, days after promising a Canadian newspaper that he and “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard were going to take the KSWA Tag Championship up north. Party Gras, fresh from a jaunt to New Orleans, weren’t in the mood for shenanigans. They were in the mood to dance with the Krazies. Nick wanted to start the match with a test of strength against Justin Sane. Sane isn’t as tall as Crane, so Lord Zoltan came in and got on all fours. Sane stood on his back and was then taller than Crane. Blanchard went to even things up and got on all fours. When Nick stood on his back, Crane’s weight crumpled in a heap. Zoltan and Crane lock up and immediately get into a thumb war. They both land on the mat and go for the thump pin. Blanchard enters the ring to leg drop Zoltan but the veteran moves just in time, leaving Crane to get the thump. Zoltan and Justin Sane take turns twisting Nick’s arm and wrist. Crane is able to get away and tag Blanchard. Zoltan goes right after Blanchard with lefts. Blanchard breaks away and lands a back elbow. Crane is tagged back in and he goes after Zoltan’s arm. The two battle it out. Soon there’s bedlam. Justin Sane is being attacked by Frank Durso on the outside. Blanchard rolls Justin back in. Blanchard hammers Sane. Blanchard lands four impressive belly-to-back suplexes. There’s a two count. Crane is back in and he suplexes Sane. There’s a two-and-a-half count this time. Blanchard is in and he low-blows Justin but referee Jimmy James misses it. Sane is back outside for more abuse from Durso. Sane is tossed back in and Blanchard slaps on the sleeper. Justin breaks free but is immediately planted with a spinebuster. Both men are down as that move, with its great force, always takes a lot out of Blanchard as well as its victim. Sane is able to get to his corner just as Blanchard gets to his. Soon all four men are in the ring and battling. The challengers are given the double noggin knocker and Justin hits the frog splash for the win. Right before the pin, The Jester and King Del Douglas appeared at ringside. Justin inexplicably went to the corner post after the match and Jester astutely pushed him off. Sane crashed to the mat. Lord Zoltan grabbed the ring microphone and yelled at the trio (including interloper Durso). Zoltan challenged the always-interfering Durso to get into the ring. The former Slap Mahoney almost did it before Blanchard and Crane held him back.
First Round: Bad/Axx (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Massacre & Kash
Kash and Massacre came out first. They were distracted because it seemed like Bobby Badfingers and Jonny Axx weren’t coming out. Meanwhile, the members of Mayor Mystery’s Legion of the Apocalypse rushed in through a side door instead. The Legion tries to get any advantage they can on Massacre and Kash. That ends badly for them as Massacre delivers a double clothesline. Kash goes for a quick cover on Badfingers but the former Golden Triangle Champion kicks up. Badfingers gains advantage on Kash and pushes the two-time former Golden Triangle Champion into the corner with Jonny Axx. That’s where Axx attacks. Referee Justin Smith is distracted, which allows both members of the Legion to do their worst on Kash. Axx is officially in and suplexes Kash, then ties him upside down in the corner (a move many know as the Tree of Woe). Kash attempts to sit up in the strange position but he’s met with Axx’s leg drop. Kash is down for a two-count. A “We Want Jack” chant grows in the capacity crowd. Just like that, Kash is able to get away from Axx and into his own corner. Kash tags Massacre and the big man goes to work on the Legion. He pushes Axx to the mat and headbutts Badfingers. Badfingers is able to slow Massacre down with a low blow. That enables him to get to Axx. The Legion attempts to double suplex Massacre but he blocks it and with his own incredible power, Massacre suplexes both of his opponents. Kris Kash is tagged back in and he goes to work on Axx’s arm. Axx is in the corner and he receives Kash’s tilt-a-whirl dropkick. There’s a one-count. Axx powers out of that cover attempt with surprising power. Badfingers is tagged in and he hits Kash with an impressive running suplex. Badfingers goes to the top rope for an attempt at some move. Instead Kash catches him and tosses him to the mat. A “Mayor Mystery” chant comes from the back. Soon all four Megastars are brawling. Axx dives on Massacre. Kash flips on the outside onto Badfingers who was dumped to the outside. All four men are on the outside. Massacre slams Axx, back first, into the ring post. There’s plenty of madness but Kash gets the pin on Badfingers. Kash and Massacre advance to the Joe Abby Memorial finals.
KSWA Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
KSWA Owner Bobby O comes to the ring and calls Party Gras to the ring. Lord Zoltan takes the microphone to plug the upcoming Deaf Wrestlefest fundraiser for the Western Pennsylvania School For The Deaf on April 29. The event will include wrestling legend Bruno Sammartino, Dominic DeNucci, Zach Gowen and a number of KSWA Megastars. Zoltan also announces that WWF favorite Bushwacker Luke will team up with himself and Justin Sane to take on the King, The Jester and Shawn Blanchard on April 28. Bobby O then takes the microphone to induct Lord Zoltan into the KSWA Hall of Fame. Bobby chronicles Lord Zoltan’s KSWA career and even calls Party Gras the “greatest tag team in KSWA history.” Pittsburgh City Councilman Bill Peduto and Allegheny County Council Jim Burn provide proclamations to Zoltan for his induction. After that, Bobby O announces that KSWA’s official photographer, Howard Kernats has been named the other recipient of the Hall of Fame induction in 2012. Howard, who is a world-class sports photographer, has taken photographs for anyone and everyone in wrestling (as well as Rock n’ Roll). Howard enters the ring and is met by his son, Jason Kernats, who like his father is a talented photographer. Jason takes some pictures of his father with Bobby O and his Hall of Fame plaque.
Six Man Tag Team Action: Flash, Starr and Super Ginger v. Blood Beast/Canadian Perfection
The debuting, masked Super Ginger locks up with “The Cold Blooded Canadian” Drew Belanger. Super Ginger shoulder blocks his down. There are some chops and an arm-drag. Super Ginger is in fine form the opening moments of this match. Belanger realizes quickly that he wants out and he’s able to tag The Blood Beast. To answer, Super Ginger tags in the Golden Triangle Champion Jay Flash. Flash is gearing up to defend his belt against the Camp Blood strongman. Blood Beast uses his immense power to floor Flash. Punches and a clothesline keep Flash reeling. Blood Beast puts his size 14 boot onto Flash’s throat. The Blood Beast, one of the KSWA’s strongest Megastars, chops and flips the South Beach Soldier and keeps him loopy. Flash does attempt a comeback but that’s immediately rebuffed by the much stronger Beast. Meanwhile, Mayor Mystery jaws at the KSWA Krazies around the ring. Belanger is tagged back in and he starts hammering at Flash’s forehead. There’s more offense before J.P. Goulet, “The Flawless One” is tagged in. There are more fists and a side suplex. With Flash down, Goulet jaws at the Jr. Heavyweight Champion Shane Starr. Starr steps through the ropes. The referee Jimmy James stops him. That allows the Canadians to put the boots to Flash. There’s a spin attempt but Flash kicks out. Flash battles back against Goulet. Goulet down and Flash gives him a cannonball splash from a standing position on the mat. Flash finally gets some help when Shane Starr is tagged in. Starr bodyslams his rival Goulet and goes for the pin. Two count. Starr shows off impressive strength by hoisting Goulet into a standing suplex. There’s a horrendous slam in the center of the ring and a two count. Moments later, Goulet is able to regain some momentum and catches Starr with a kick that floors him. There’s a two count. Goulet rolls him over and gets a two count. Flash tries to get into the ring and that distracts the referee. All three members of the opposing team jump in and kick Starr. Belanger is in and he punches Starr then hits a drop kick. The Canadians gets Belanger into their corner and attack him. Some action spills to the outside. Goulet chops Flash on the outside. Flash gets away from Goulet and chases Mayor Mystery to the delight of the Krazies. Flash punches Mystery down. The Krazies go bonkers. In the ring, Shane Starr drop kicks Belanger. Starr tags Super Ginger. Starr plants him with the Shining Wizard. Flash hits a cannonball on the fallen Belanger and Shane Starr drops Super Ginger on the Canadian. The ref calls drops the one, two, three and they get the win. Blood Beast appears out of nowhere and plants all three members of the other team. To top that off, Beast turns his ire on his own teammates and chokeslams both Goulet and Belanger. Mayor Mystery crawls into the ring and celebrates with his prized behemoth.
KSWA Triple Threat Title Match: Martin (w/Durso) v. The Latin Assassin v. Mitch Napier
All three Megastars make their way to the ring. KSWA Champion Lou Martin, who wears black, shiny athletic pants to the ring, mercilessly heard the “Garbage Pants” chant for minutes on end. The place was deafening. When action was ready to culminate, all three current or former KSWA Champions measured each other up. With Mitch and Latin ready to gouge at each other’s throats, Martin took advantage of the situation and double clotheslined both challengers. Martin goes right after Mitch with a couple of fists to the forehead. Martin follows with an elbow drop. Latin is back in and he goes after Martin. Latin drops Mitch then clotheslines Napier to the mat. Latin goes for a pin on Martin but the champion kicks out. Latin gets Martin into a headlock and Napier breaks it up. Napier drops Latin and goes after Martin. All three parties are on the outside. Napier hits the double forearm sledge on Martin. Durso was getting involved so Latin put a stop to his interference. Latin then turns his attention to Napier, his friend-turned-rival. Martin grabs Latin’s handkerchief and uses it to choke Latin. Durso then turns to Napier and walks him to a wall and slams him into it. At this point it’s realized that referee Justin Smith is in way over his head in this match. All three are back in to the ring. Martin puts the boots to Latin’s throat. Frank Durso attacks Napier from the apron. Latin and Martin spill back out onto the floor Durso takes the opportunity to choke Latin. Mitch attacks Lou. Latin punches Durso. Back in the ring, Napier has Martin in the corner for ten punches to the head. Napier turns around and is hit with Latin’s suplex. Latin tries to pin Napier but Martin breaks it up. Martin tries to pin both opponents but they kick up. Suddenly, Martin hits Napier with the Death Certificate. Latin breaks up the pin attempt. Latin climbs to the middle rope for a flying elbow on a fallen Martin. Two count. Napier is up and he drop kicks Latin. Then he drop kicks Martin. They both go outside and Mitch dives on top of them. The Krazies erupt in “That Was Awesome.” After a few moments all three men are back in the ring. Latin hits Lou Martin with his face-forward piledriver. He follows that up with a Flying Lariat on Napier. He goes to pin Mitch but Lou breaks it up. He tosses Latin aside and covers Mitch himself. The ref counts one, two, three and Lou Martin retains. After the match, Latin and Napier are in the ring, jawing at each other. They look like they are going to go at it when KSWA Owner Bobby O and Kommissioner Joe Perri arrive. Bobby says that the two will wrestle each other throughout the spring and summer to settle their score.
Joe Abby Memorial Tournament Finals: Jester & Douglas v. Kash & Massacre
All four men enter the ring. Jester and Jack Massacre start out. Incredibly, Jester quickly attempts a bodyslam on the 7-footer and nearly tears his back muscles out. Massacre didn’t budge. Both Jester and Douglas attack but Massacre is able to keep them at bay. Massacre double clotheslines them. It’s all Jack Massacre on The Jester. A clothesline and leg drop. There’s a two count. Massacre puts Jester into the corner for a splash but he misses. Jester follows up with forearms to the head and chest. Massacre simply tosses him aside. Jester falls into his corner and tags in the King. Kris Kash is tagged in and he goes for a flying leg scissors on Douglas. Kash follows up with fists. Douglas is then posted in the corner for three incredible chops. Kash misses with a clothesline and Douglas, the veteran, suplexes Kash. With Kash down, Douglas taunts Massacre. The Jester is tagged in and he snap mares Kash. Jester suplexes Kash. There’s a two count. Douglas is tagged in and he grabs Kash by the crotch. He chops Kash down with his free hand. There’s another two count. Douglas taunts the giant some more. Douglas goes for a pin on Kash. Two count. Massacre cheers in support of Kash. Douglas leads Kash head-first into the ring posts. The fourth ring post is mistakenly in Massacre’s corner and Kash simply tags in the big man. Douglas is astonished as to what he allowed happen. Massacre tosses Douglas about. Massacre hits a bodyslam and an elbow. He gets a two count. Massacre twists Douglas’s wrist and he tags in Kash. Kash hits a double forearm sledge off the top rope onto Douglas. With Douglas down, Kash hits a leg drop from the middle rope. Kash gets Douglas into a front face lock and leads him into Massacre’s corner. Massacre comes in and chops and bodyslams Douglas. He goes for a pin but the Jester races in and breaks it up. Kash and Massacre control the action for the rest of the match before the King and Jester sneak a win. The winners of the Joe Abby Memorial Tournament and the new Number One contenders for the KSWA tag team championship: The Jester and “The King” Del Douglas.