Mischievous Mayor Mystery Has Fate Sealed, Axx Retains, Lord Zoltan Sustains Injury At Hectic Heatwave Havoc

June 4, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

Since his arrival in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA), Mayor Mystery has served as a thorn in the side of many Megastars. He first seconded Lord Zoltan to the ring, but the longtime duo went their separate ways with the New Orleans export teamed up with Justin Sane to form Party Gras. Mayor Mystery then went on to lead the Legion of the Apocalypse, arguably the KSWA’s largest and most powerful stable in history. Mystery has lead The Blood Beast to the Golden Triangle Championship and Jonny Axx to what was then the Jr. Heavyweight Championship. Through his army of attorneys, Mystery was somehow able to re-brand the Jr. Heavyweight belt into the 5-Starr Championship. The Mayor of Parts Unknown has been instrumental in Axx keeping that title. But after an evening of almost constant interference, KSWA Owner Bobby O had something else in mind for the bothersome bureaucrat.

Ric Rumsky v. The Jester (w/Del Douglas)

The night began busy for the KSWA Owner. Bobby O, who continues to look more trim and fashionable each and every month, is out with an announcement. Because of The Jester’s recent shenanigans, Bobby O says that if Ric Rumsky wins, he becomes the new #1 Contender for the KSWA World Championship. If the Jester wins, King Douglas becomes The Jester’s “Jester.” Del Douglas, who ushered Jester to the ring, is not happy with this announcement. The bell is rung and Ric Rumsky takes control. Then, out of nowhere, the Jester throws Rumsky into the ropes. With referee Justin Smith distracted, Del Douglas takes advantage of a prone Rumsky. Douglas uses the ropes on Rumsky’s throat. The Jester is in control and goes for a pin but only gets a two count. Jester then buries a knee into Rumsky’s midsection for another two count. Jester then kicks Rumsky in the back. Jester cannot keep Rumsky down. Rumsky then gets some momentum and knocks Jester down. But that momentum is short-lived as Jester clobbers Rumsky. Two count. Rumsky hits two knees to Jester’s chest and both Megastars are down. The Krazies chant for Rumsky. Rumsky clotheslines Jester then plants a kick. There’s a couple of forearms and Jester is in the corner for a flying double knee to the chest. Rumsky superkicks Douglas on the apron. Jester suplexes Rumsky. Rumsky gets up and superkicks Jester and gets the win. The winner and new #1 Contender for the KSWA belt: Ric Rumsky. Douglas carries Jester off to the locker room. Rumsky grabs the microphone and challenges Dr. Devastation Lou Martin for the Championship on July 14.

Golden Triangle Championship: The Blood Beast (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Super Ginger

Both Megastars make their way to the ring. Mayor Mystery takes the microphone and degrades the female Krazies. He doesn’t think they are particularly attractive. The two hook up and The Blood Beast tosses Super Ginger aside easily. Ginger responds by getting Beast into a headlock. Beast tries to toss him aside, to no avail. Ginger gets a go-behind but Beast pushes him off. Ginger hooks in again and Beast is able to fight out into an arm bar. Beast gets offense. Ginger is down and Beast buries his knee into the Super One’s throat. Then he chokes him. Mayor Mystery, who brought a briefcase to the ring and uses something from it on Ginger. However, Ginger recovers, gets some offense before Mayor Mystery goes to work again on Ginger. Mayor hits Ginger with a plastic light saber that was tucked away in the briefcase. Ginger gets a baby doll out of the briefcase (yes, a baby doll), then chases Mayor Mystery. Blood Beast clotheslines Ginger once he’s back in the ring. Then it’s more offense on Super Ginger. Ginger responds with a chop. Blood Beast clotheslines Super Ginger then hits him with a boot. Blood Beast bodyslams Super Ginger for a two count. Beast tries for a choke slam but Ginger fights it off. The two exchange chops. Ginger punches Blood Beast, perhaps low, but referee Jimmy James doesn’t see anything. Blood Beast is down on the second rope. Super Ginger tries to superplex Blood Beast from the outside. Beast fights it off and slowly falls on Super Ginger. Mayor Mystery is on the outside, nearby when Jimmy James counts to three. The winner is the Blood Beast. Some Krazies are upset because they believe that Mayor Mystery had something to do with keeping Super Ginger down. Blood Beast choke slams Super Ginger a second time. Blood Beast and Mayor Mystery celebrate as Super Ginger convulses on the mat.

The VIPs v. Kris Kash and Mitch Napier

The VIPs (absent was Advisor Frank Durso) make their way to the ring before Kris Kash and Mitch Napier. Napier receives an enormous reaction from the Krazies. A returning Referee Shawn Patrick calls for the bell. Shawn Blanchard and Kris Kash hook up in the center of the ring. Before anyone knows what’s going on, Kash drop kicks both VIPs to the outside. Then Kash dives onto both. Napier then sails over the top rope and onto the VIPs and Kash. The match is two minutes old and Mitch Napier is smashing Lou Martin all over the outside of the ring. Back inside, Napier hits a drop kick. The veteran Martin kicks up at one. Napier has Martin prone before he tags in Kash. Kash goes to work on Martin’s left arm. Kash tags in Napier and he double sledges Martin’s arm. Napier buries knees into the KSWA Champion’s appendage. Napier contorts the arm before flipping Martin onto the mat, face first. Blanchard takes the opportunity to attack Napier from behind. Now Martin is in control and he tags in the tactician Blanchard. Blanchard buries a right into Napier’s belly and chops Napier. Mitch whips Blanchard into the rope and clotheslines Blanchard. Kash is tagged in for a cross body block and two count. Blanchard is able to get up and chop Kash. Martin is tagged in and they double team Kash as Shawn Patrick tries to break it up. Martin asks the Krazies if they want a curb stomp and he does it to Kash. Blanchard is tagged in and both VIPs curb stomp Kash. Blanchard then bends Kash over, spine on his knee. The move is grueling. Blanchard gets a reverse chin hold on Kash before chopping Napier. A phantom tag is made as Martin comes in for offense on Kash. With the ref distracted, the VIPs double team Kash. Patrick counts to two as Kash’s shoulders are pinned. Martin picks Kash up and keeps him in their corner. Blanchard attacks Kash. Martin uses his boot on Kash’s throat. Kash continues to receive punishment before he’s tossed to the outside. Blanchard buries Kash into the apron on the outside, then the ring post. Napier has had enough as he goes after the violator, but Patrick stops him. Kash is tossed back in and the submission moves continue on Kash. Napier shouts encouragement to his partner on the outside. Blanchard gets Kash into the corner and chops him. Kash returns with three massive chops of his own. He goes for a clothesline but Blanchard catches him with a bodyslam. Napier breaks up a pin attempt. Blanchard gets Kash into a sleeper hold. Kash will not submit to the sleeper. He tries to break free but Blanchard pulls him back down. Blanchard gets Kash the Spinebuster. Both are spent. Kash gets to his corner and tags Mitch, who comes out like a house afire. Kash chops Blanchard as Napier hits Martin on the outside. Blanchard is flipped over the corner post and clotheslined by Kash. Kash hits Blanchard with the Whisper in the Wind. Martin dispatches Napier, then grabs his baseball bat and clobbers Kash in the ribs. He collapses. Blanchard hits the slingshot suplex and collects the win. The VIPs are battered and bruised as they celebrate. Napier and Kash regroup in the center of the ring.

Jay Flash v. Del Douglas

Jay Flash makes his way to the ring before The King Del Doulgas. Conspicuous by his absence is The Jester, King Douglas’ court mate. Jay Flash gets Douglas in an arm bar and slaps him in the back several times. Flash rips off a number of chops onto Douglas before knocking him down. There’s a two-count on Douglas. Flash kicks Douglas and floors him. There’s a two-count. Flash suplexes Douglas. Flash bounds off the middle rope and drops both boots on Douglas’ chest. Flash continues the kicking. There’s a sunset flip on Douglas and a two-and-a-half count. Douglas’ back is all scarred up by this point. Douglas gets up with fire in his eyes and clobbers Flash with chops and boots. There’s a side suplex and Flash is down. Douglas lands his vaunted fist that’s “banned in 49 out of the 50 states.” Just like that there’s a two-count on Flash. Douglas, the veteran, now buries his knee into Flash’s back as he’s propped against the ropes. King then bodyslams Flash. Flash is up and paint brushes Douglas then kicks him down. Flash gets just a two count on Douglas. Flash climbs to the top rope and hits a drop kick on the King. Two count. King is up and buries a boot into Kash’s midsection before wrapping him in the ropes. It wasn’t done well as Flash immediately breaks it. Kash drops Douglas down and then ascends the corner post for a Cannonball. He lands it and gets the one, two, three and the victory. Flash celebrates with the Krazies as Douglas is down in the ring.

Bobby Badfingers and Ali Kaida (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Dave Diamond and Jack Massacre

Massacre and Diamond Dave come to the ring dressed as their opponents. The duo mocks Bobby Badfingers and Ali Kaida. Then Mayor Mystery leads the real Badfingers and Kaida to the ring. Mayor Mystery demands that the Krazies don’t chant “USA, USA” but they do anyway. Massacre and Badfingers lock up and Massacre tosses his opponent into the ropes. Badfingers bails and referee Justin Smith starts the count out. At nine, Badfingers crawls back in. He and the 7-foot Massacre prepare to lock up again. Badfingers is tossed and he bails a second time. Mayor Mystery says the duo is “outta here.” They leave and referee Justin Smith actually calls for the double count out! KSWA Owner Bobby O hurriedly arrives and says that the Legion of the Apocalypse needs to return to the ring by a 10-count or the entire LOA will be fired. The count is restarted and Bobby Badfingers dashes in half a second before 10. Massacre is all over Badfingers. Badfingers climbs to the top rope and Massacre tosses him down to the center of the ring with a huge thud. Massacre leg drops Badfingers and goes for the pin but Ali Kaida breaks it up. Massacre chases him out then lays a big European uppercut on Badfingers. Diamond Dave Diamond is tagged in and he starts kicking Badfingers. Diamond drop kicks Badfingers in the gut and goes for the pin. Dave chops Badfingers and then gives him a bulldog in the center of the ring. Mayor Mystery interferes as Dave tries to use the ropes for a follow up move. Ali Kaida is tagged in. Kaida immediately goes to work on Dave. Badfingers crawls in when the referee is distracted and chokes Dave. Mayor Mystery also goes in and uses his cane. Badfingers borrows Kaida’s Camel Clutch on Dave. The Legion claims that a legal tag was made, allowing Badfingers in. Mayor Mystery is back in for cane-oriented offense on Dave. Ali Kaida is back in and he uses the official Camel Clutch on Dave. Then Mayor Mystery crawls in and slaps the Camel Clutch on Dave. Referee Justin Smith sees this and tosses him out. Kaida suplexes Dave over his head. The Rock n’ Roller is out. Kaida does it again. Somehow, Dave kicks out. Kaida uses both hands to crush Dave’s cranium. Kaida tosses Dave into the ropes where Badfingers and Mystery attack. Badfingers is in and drops a big leg on Dave. There’s a series of pin attempts but Dave breaks out. Dave is tossed into the corner where Kaida awaits. The Krazies chant “USA, USA.” Referee Justin Smith watches at the Legion attacks Dave. Dave somehow breaks out and DDT’s Badfingers. The Krazies are ready for Jack. Diamond Dave tags in Jack Massacre. The Krazies go nuts. Kaida tries to bodyslam Massacre but he is unfazed. Massacre lays a big forearm into Ali Kaida then applies a submission move on the former KSWA Champ. Kaida recovers enough to go low on Massacre. Then he hits a modified DDT. Kaida goes for another bodyslam but Massacre simply falls on him. There’s a two-count. Massacre lifts Kaida and clotheslines him. Massacre then applies a submission move. Dave is back in against Kaida. Kaida is angered and bodyslams Dave. Soon, all FIVE Megastars are in the ring. Mayor Mystery whacks Dave repeatedly with his cane. Badfingers gets Dave up and airplane spins him down. It’s a move Badfingers calls the “Debt Collector.” There’s a one, two, three for the Legion of the Apocalypse.

KSWA Tag Team Championship: Party Gras v. The Mercenaries

Nasty Nick Crane introduces his former tag team partner, The Sniper, to the KSWA Arena. Party Gras dance forever with an army of Krazies. Referee Shawn Patrick has a difficult time starting the match. Sane and Crane start out in the center of the ring. Crane tosses Sane aside but Justin pops but right back up. The Krazies start chanting “USA” as Crane and Sniper are from outside of the states. Crane and Justin run the ropes but Sane ducks out, leaving Canada’s National Treasure to run the ropes alone. Zoltan is tagged in and he uses an arm bar on Crane. Zoltan clobbers Crane and uses a submission move. Zoltan pulls Crane up and tosses him down again. Referee Shawn Patrick is distracted. Sane replaces Zoltan and Patrick doesn’t realize the infraction. Zoltan is back in and uses an arm bar on Crane. Zoltan wiggles the exposed arm at Sniper. Sane replaces Crane for the exact same move. Patrick is convinced a tag was made. Sniper is tagged in for the first time and he buries Sane into the middle rope. Crane uses the middle rope on Sane as the ref is distracted by Zoltan. Sniper goes for the pin but only gets two. Sniper suplexes Sane and goes for the pin. Zoltan breaks it up. Crane drops a double sledge on Sane. He goes to work on the tag champ. Sane tries to get the tag on Zoltan but the ref doesn’t see it. Patrick chases Zoltan back to his corner. Sniper bodyslams Sane. Sane goes for the tag again and the same result. The Mercenaries double team Sane as Patrick chases Zoltan back to his corner. Crane head butts Sane and tags in Sniper. Sniper pulls Sane into the middle of the ring and drops a boot onto Justin’s groin. Sniper picks Justin up just to drop him back down. Justin is up again and they trade blows before Sniper rakes Sane’s eyes. He drapes Sane’s eyes over the top rope. Justin makes his way to the corner and tags in Zoltan. He goes to work on the Mercenaries. They are posted in the corner for the double 10 punch. Sniper is pushed out. Sane lands the Frog Splash and gets the win. The Mercenaries complain as they go to the locker room. Party Gras celebrates with the Krazies. The Mercenaries return and attack Party Gras to the floor before leaving. It takes Justin Sane and two referees to hoist Lord Zoltan and take him to the locker room. In fact, the KSWA Hall of Famer looks injured after the beat down.

5-Starr Championship: Shane Starr v. Jonny Axx (w/Mayor Mystery)

Shane Starr tries to celebrate but Jonny Axx and Mayor Mystery attack him from behind. They double clothesline Starr but he gets back up and double clotheslines them. They get up and complain to Referee Jimmy James. They toss Jimmy James into the ropes and he ducks. Then James double clotheslines both of the Legion members. The match officially starts and the Megastars trade maneuvers. Starr is down and Axx tries to apply a modified Figure Four. He latches into it and Starr cries in pain. Axx breaks the hold and goes for more punishment on Starr. They lock up again and Starr gets some offense. Axx is shoulder blocked down and Starr goes for a pin but Axx is too close to the ropes. Starr heaves the larger Axx up for a bodyslam and gets a two-count. Starr gets more offense and another two count. Starr suplexes Axx and gets a two-count. Axx uses the hair to pull Starr down from behind. Axx gets Starr into a reverse chin lock. Starr will not submit. Mayor Mystery pump handles Shane Starr’s arm from the apron. Then again. Axx goes the wrist lock a third time and Mayor Mystery pump handles Jonny Axx instead. Starr goes to the outside to taunt Mayor Mystery. Mystery, in shock, releases the arm. Once back inside, Starr gets Axx down for another pin attempt. Another two count. Starr suplexes Axx and registers another two count. Axx recovers and gets momentum on Starr. Axx gets him down and kicks Starr in the head. Axx propels himself off the ropes and a splash. Two count. Axx gets him in another reverse chin lock. Then Axx flips over top of him. Axx gets Starr into a leg lock but Starr gets to the ropes. Starr gets up and gives Starr a neck breaker in the center of the ring. Both Megastars are down. Axx is in the corner and Starr lands some closed fists. Starr goes for the superplex but Axx blocks it for a face buster. Two count. Starr is leveled again and Jimmy James asks if Starr submits. He doesn’t, despite Mayor Mystery’s argument that he had. Axx snap mares Starr and Mayor Mystery uses the bottom rope on Starr’s throat. Axx propels off the middle rope and kicks Starr in the midsection. Two count. Starr recovers and rolls Axx up. Two count. Axx goes for a move but Starr breaks it up. Starr levels the Shining Starr on Axx and Mayor Mystery breaks it up. Mayor Mystery tosses powder into Shane Star’s eyes and Axx gets the cheap victory. Axx and Starr fight on the way back to the locker room. KSWA Owner Bobby O comes out with a litany of Megastars and fires Mayor Mystery. He is surrounded by KSWA Megastars who have a problem with Mayor Mystery. The Megastars beat him down and carry him to the back. The Krazies sing “Na Na Na Na, Hey, Hey, Hey Good bye.”

Thus is how Heatwave Havoc 2012 ends.

Since his arrival in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA), Mayor Mystery has served as a thorn in the side of many Megastars. He first seconded Lord Zoltan to the ring, but the longtime duo went their separate ways with the New Orleans export teamed up with Justin Sane to form Party Gras. Mayor Mystery then went on to lead the Legion of the Apocalypse, arguably the KSWA’s largest and most powerful stable in history. Mystery has lead The Blood Beast to the Golden Triangle Championship and Jonny Axx to what was then the Jr. Heavyweight Championship. Through his army of attorneys, Mystery was somehow able to re-brand the Jr. Heavyweight belt into the 5-Starr Championship. The Mayor of Parts Unknown has been instrumental in Axx keeping that title. But after an evening of almost constant interference, KSWA Owner Bobby O had something else in mind for the bothersome bureaucrat.