July 2, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
The true blue American hero Mitch Napier had his hands full when both members of the VIPs got intimately involved in his chance to regain the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Heavyweight Title. “Nasty” Nick Crane continues in his effort to serve Canada proud and obtain the Northeast’s most prestigious tag team championship, and Jay Flash hoped his youth and verve would overcome the veteran skills and tenacity of the 5-Star Champion Jonny Axx. These were just some of the matches that highlighted the KSWA’s annual return to Arsenal Park and the Fireworks spectacular in Lawrenceville.
Dave Diamond v. Bobby Badfingers
After introductions, the two lock up and Dave goes for a go-behind. Badfingers makes it to the ropes and gets Jimmy James to break the hold. Dave comes back and lands a big clothesline. Dave gets two near pinfalls. Then Badfingers gets up and goes to the top rope. Diamond tosses him off. Dave nears two more near pinfalls. Badfingers gets up and whips Dave into the ropes and into a clothesline. There’s a two count. Badfingers punches him down. There’s another near pinfall before Badfingers argues with the ref. Badfingers clotheslines Dave over the top rope and they both spill to the outside. Once back in it’s another near pinfall for Badfingers. Irish whip into the corner. Badfingers goes for the Debt Collector. He misses. Dave breaks out of another attempt. Then the third time, Badfingers lands it. The winner is Bobby Badfingers.
Ric Rumsky v. Super Ginger
Ric Rumsky makes his way out before the “Defender of the Red Headed Step Children Everywhere,” Super Ginger. They lock up then cleanly break it up. They do it a second time and they respect each other. It’s good to see both fan favorites sticking to the rules. Rumsky forces Ginger into the ropes but Rumsky comes out and lands a couple of hip tosses before a drop kick forces Ginger to the outside. Referee Justin Smith starts the count out. Ginger is contemplating whether or not he will return to the ring. He does and Rumsky drops him. A near pinfall on Ginger. Rumsky forces him up and Ginger hits him with a chop. They trade chops before Ginger really lays into him with a series of chops. Ginger goes for a splash but misses. Rumsky follows in and hits him with two flying knees to the back. Ginger is staggered. Ginger hits a clothesline and gets a two count. Rumsky is in the corner. Ginger drops him with a huge overhanded slap. Two count. Ginger gets Rumsky up. Rumsky hits him with the Ric Kick and scores the victory. The combatants shake hands and celebrate together as the Krazies at ringside approve.
5-Star Championship: Jay Flash v. Jonny Axx
The two Megastars face off. They lock up in the center of the ring and Flash gets the early advantage with a headlock. Jay Flash goes with the go-behind. Axx wrestles out of it and promptly stops the action and goes to the outside apron. The Krazies start chanting “Scaredy Cat.” They lock up again and Flash tosses him to the outside. The Krazies taunt Axx again. Flash dives over the top rope and onto Axx. Flash hits the double foot stomp on a downed Axx. Flash continues the offense. Flash pulls him out and goes for a pin. Axx grabbed the bottom rope. Axx goes to the outside again. Flash goes out and is clobbered and thrown into the fence. Flash is tossed back in for a leg drop and two count. Axx gets Flash into the corner but Flash counters the measure. In a fantastic move, Flash double stomps Axx while he’s hanging from the corner. Side Russian leg sweep off the top rope. Flash goes up for the cannon ball and he hits it. He assuredly would get the pin…when the Legion of the Apocalypse hits the scene. Referee Jimmy James hurriedly calls for the bell. Bobby Badfingers, Ali Kaida and Jonny Axx continue to brutalized Flash until Jack Massacre hits the ring and shoos them all off. Once they are all gone, Massacre comforts a battered and dazed Flash. As the announcement was being made that Jay Flash is the winner of this match by disqualification, KSWA Owner Bobby O comes over and grabs the microphone. Bobby O calls out Ali Kaida, who hadn’t quite left the scene. Bobby tells him that his match, which was scheduled for later in the event, was being moved up. He was going to face Jack Massacre right now!
Jack Massacre v. Ali Kaida
The two big men surprisingly go for wrestling moves in the opening moments of the match. Massacre tosses Ali Kaida into the ropes and hits a big clothesline. Kaida buries his shoulder into Massacre’s midsection. Massacre counters by splashing Kaida in the corner. With an impressive show of strength, Ali Kaida suplexes Jack Massacre in the center of the ring. The ring bounces off the ground just a smidge. The double count out is on. Massacre hits the headbutt then an incredible choke slam. Jack doesn’t go for the pin but gets Kaida up for a headbutt. Massacre gets Kaida to the top rope and tosses him off in a heap. The winner: Jack Massacre. The match between these two incredible behemoths didn’t last long, but it was a hard-hitting match.
Del Douglas v. Shawn Blanchard (w/Lou Martin)
The two longtime friends are a little apprehensive about locking up before they finally do. Jimmy James breaks them up when Douglas forces Blanchard into the corner. They lock up again. Blanchard gets the upper hand and chops Del in the throat. With Jimmy James distracted, Blanchard chokes his ally in many, many matches. He continues to do it as James is distracted like a monkey and shiny coin. Blanchard continues to be in control. He pokes Douglas in the eyes before bodyslamming him in the center of the ring. Two count on Douglas. Douglas starts to get some offense in. He gets a near pin on Blanchard before the Enforcer comes back. Douglas is planted in the corner for a superplex. Douglas tries to fight it off and does. Douglas hits the fist that’s “Banned in 49 out of the 50 States” Blanchard kicks out. Blanchard gets back in control and hooks a leg into a submission move. Douglas will not do it. Blanchard works the left leg. Blanchard breaks the hold and taunts the crowd. Then he goes back to work on the leg. Douglas will not give up. Blanchard pulls Douglas to the corner and plants his leg into the corner. He does it a couple more times. With the referee distracted, Martin clubs Douglas in the knee with his baseball bat. Blanchard continues the assault and announces that he’s “going to school.” Incredibly, Douglas rolls him up and out of nowhere gets the duke. Douglas leaves and the VIPs are beside themselves in wonderment.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: Party Gras v. Nasty Nick Crane and The Jester
“Nasty” Nick Crane has reunited the Mercenaries with Sniper in an attempt to gain the KSWA Tag Team Titles from Party Gras, one of the most successful tag teams in the history of the organization. The Jester and Justin Sane start out. Party Gras spends time choosing a side to start from. When they start, Justin and Jester go at it. The Krazies say that the bare chested, ample Jester “needs a bra.” He isn’t happy about that. Zoltan is in and gets some offense on Jester. Then Justin is tagged back in. Zoltan comes back in and gets Jester in a wrist lock. He pumps the handle and tags Justin back in. Justin drops Jester and tags Zoltan back in. After a while, Nasty Nick is tagged in and he goes to work on Justin. Nick, who has been unsuccessful in gaining the KSWA Tag Belts, despite a litany of partners, gets Justin in a front face lock. Nick tags Jester back in. He continues the onslaught on Justin. Jester buries knees into Justin’s back and lands a splash. Two count. Jester pulls him up and tags in Nick. After some offense, Jester is tagged back in and he gets a near pinfall on Justin. Jester gets to Nick, Justin gets to Zoltan. All four megastars are in the ring. They go to opposing corners for the 10 punch. Jester is down. Nick is tossed outside. Justin goes for the frog splash and lands it. The winners and still KSWA Tag Team Champs, Justin Sane and Lord Zoltan: Party Gras! They celebrate with the Krazies before leaving to the locker room.
KSWA Heavyweight Title: Napier v. Martin
There are a lot of VIP shenanigans in the early going. Mitch cleans house by double clotheslining both Martin and Blanchard. They are both on the outside and Napier goes over the top rope, onto the VIP members. Napier throws Martin into the chain-linked fence on the outside. Martin is tossed back in. Jimmy James calls for the bell to officially start the match and Mitch is all over Martin. Napier hits a modified DDT and fine suplex, just to name a few moves. Napier goes to the top rope. He goes for a flying elbow but misses. Blanchard chokes Mitch with Martin’s bat as the referee is distracted. Martin then goes for the eyes by gouging before James is distracted again. Martin buries his knee into Napier after Blanchard assaults him again with the bat. There’s more of an assault on Napier. Martin gets him in the corner and buries a few fists. Then there’s a slap to Napier’s face. Napier has had enough and he rallies with punches and hip toss. He follows that with kicks. Martin goes into the corner and Mitch hits him with a kick to the face. There’s a side suplex and levels Martin. Napier climbs to the top rope for a flying head butt. He lands it. Two and a half count. Napier hits a gut wrench suplex. Two count. Napier is on the professes of winning the KSWA belt. He lands the Sioux Falls Slam. That should do it. Blanchard gets to the apron. Napier faces him and punches him out. Napier turns right into Martin’s Death Certificate. The winner and still KSWA Heavyweight Champion: Dr. Devastation Lou Martin. The VIPs celebrate and Napier slowly makes his way back to the locker room.
That’ll end this year’s trip to Arsenal Park.