July 11, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
Ever since joining the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance last year, the 7-foot tall Jack Massacre has had problems with Jonny Axx, and then the Legion of the Apocalypse. Axx, along with Bobby Badfingers, the Blood Beast and Ali Kaida, have comprised the most intimidating and massive quartet in KSWA history.
In addition, Axx has won the 5-Star Championship and the Blood Beast has wrestled the Golden Triangle Championship from Jay Flash. In fact, Badfingers has been the Golden Triangle Champion and Ali Kaida has been a KSWA World Champion. Few gatherings have earned so much gold, and respect, so quickly.
The group also ganged up Massacre and broke his wrist last year. After an operation, he was healed and returned to action, almost always upsetting the Legion. Massacre chased Dr. Devastation Lou Martin for the KSWA World Title, but always fell just a bit short. All the while, lurking in the shadows was the Legion of the Apocalypse.
Now, Massacre needs to collect a team of like-minded Megastars. Massacre chose Shane Starr, the former Jr. Heavyweight Champion who lost his strap to Jonny Axx, and Jay Flash, the South Beach Soldier who lost the Golden Triangle Championship to the Blood Beast. One spot remains on Team Massacre, and the 365-lb Megastar isn’t about to let that secret slip. That’s been enough to make Internet observers stir. Calls to the KSWA offices have piqued as Krazies, industry insiders and observers want a clue. Massacre says only that the Krazies won’t be disappointed in who picked up the call.
In addition to the already-detailed Dr. Devastation Lou Martin v. Ric Rumsky matchup, “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard will take on Mitch Napier in what promises to be a hard-hitting, fantastic matchup. Blanchard has been busy living his motto: “Booze, Broads and Belts.” He has kept the VIP legacy at a fever pitch, by watching Lou Martin’s back and taking care of his own business. The VIPs have always watched Napier and would like nothing better than to make sure he does not ever touch the KSWA World Title ever again. Blanchard hopes to keep the Iowa native at bay. Meanwhile, Napier is arguably the best technical wrestler in the history of the KSWA and pound-for-pound one of the strongest. Both Megastars know that the second half of the KSWA season might rest on the outcome of this match. Both would like nothing more than to have gold around their waist come FanFest in December.
Around Pittsburgh and PNC Park, the “Zoltan” hand signal has been extremely popular. With it comes interest in Lord Zoltan. His Lordship has been interviewed about the phenomenon and social media inquiries have spiked. The unquestioned leader of Party Gras recently celebrated the team’s one-year anniversary as the KSWA World Tag Team Championship, along with Justin Sane. All of the success and interest has enraged the always irritable “Nasty” Nick Crane, the self-professed “Canada’s National Hero.” Crane will not rest until he gets the KSWA Tag Team belts around his waist. But this will be a one-on-one match, and Crane expects to shake his hand gestures in front of a fallen Zoltan. Lord Zoltan will have the Krazies in a fever pitch—as always—as he makes sure the Zoltan hand gestures stay in Pittsburgh forever.
Crane’s “Mercenaries” cohort, Sniper will take on “Rock n’ Roll” Dave Diamond in one-on-one competition. This will be a matchup of two completely different styles. Diamond Dave is a resilient Megastar who mixes brawling, some technical skills and just a tad of quickness. Sniper, meanwhile, is a straight-ahead brawler who Crane recruited to be the bruiser of his team. Dave has faced the KSWA’s most aggressive brawler in Ali Kaida, so he isn’t terribly intimidated by the South American reactionary.
In tag team competition, “The King” Del Douglas and “The Jester” will take on Kris Kash and Super Ginger. One veteran who has been overlooked at times is Douglas. He has been a solid wrestler for more than a decade and a lynch pin in the KSWA’s early days. He has successfully mentored The Jester in recent months and the duo has become a very effective team. They will take on Kash, who is no rookie when it comes to tag team competition, and the fan favorite “hero to red-headed step children everywhere,” Super Ginger. Ginger has proved himself to be a talented wrestler, and no one in the KSWA flies better or more often than Kash. This matchup will excite the crowd, especially since Douglas and Kash have battled many times over the years.
KSWA “Summertime Bruise” is this Saturday, July 14, at the Home of Professional Wrestling in Pittsburgh, the KSWA Arena at 51st and Butler Streets in the Lawrenceville neighborhood within the city of Pittsburgh. Bell time is 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 for adults, $8 for kids. Card is subject to change.