Kash Kashes In 5-Star Ticket, Martin Faces Four, Party Gras Adds Honorary Member (?) When Worlds Collide At KSWA Arena

August 13, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

When Kris Kash won his shot at what was then the KSWA’s Jr. Heavyweight Championship after January’s Battle Bowl, the win was bittersweet. The former Golden Triangle and Tag Team Champion wanted another opportunity at Single’s Gold, but he also fretted facing his tag team partner and longtime friend, Shane Starr (who had the belt at that time). How things can change in the KSWA.

Jonny Axx, under dubious weight-restriction-measures, somehow had Mayor Mystery coheres the KSWA Championship committee to allow him a shot at the Jr. Heavyweight belt. Axx was weighed in at 199 ¾ pounds the morning of his shot earlier in the year. Interestingly, Kommissioner Joe Perri signed off on the official weights that day. Axx would later tip the scales at closer to 250 pounds. Nevertheless, once Axx upended Starr, Mayor Mystery had the title re-branded to the “5-Star Championship.” KSWA Owner Bobby O has since relinquished Mayor Mystery of his duties as the Manager of the Legion of the Apocalypse.

That being noted, Kash has now registered his shot at the belt for this Saturday at When World’s Collide, the KSWA’s August spectacular. Axx, who injured his knee at Arsenal Park against Jay Flash, assures the KSWA offices that he is indeed ready for this challenge. Perri did attempt to put in a “Physically Unable to Perform” request to the KSWA’s Championship Committee on Axx’s behalf. That motion was rejected and it should be noted that Perri’s move may have just been a formality.

KSWA Champion “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin recently missed defending his championship against Kash when Plum Community Days was rain-shortened. However, the roof will remain intact this Saturday as he defends the organization’s premier strap against three opponents. Martin will take on Ric Rumsky and the 7-foot-tall Jack Massacre in a Fatal Four Way match. Neither of those opponents has hoisted the KSWA Championship; however, the fourth competitor is former KSWA Champion Ali Kaida. Kaida is angrier than ever, what with Mayor Mystery being ousted months after he lost the KSWA belt without ever having his shoulders pinned. This will be a major opportunity for Kaida. But with giants and Afghani Assault Weapons on the radar, might an Everyman like Rumsky somehow superkick his way to success?

Shawn Blanchard and Mitch Napier are scheduled for a Grudge Match. Napier was injured in the last match of Plum Community Days when the Blood Beast blasted him in the eye with blood following their Golden Triangle Championship match. Blanchard had interfered in the match, leading to the spew. Now an injured Napier has a change to seek revenge, albeit with only one functional eye. KSWA Owners have cleared Napier to wrestle despite the injury. Again Perri, who has been conspicuous by his recent absences, cleared the paperwork for Napier’s match. It should be noted that Lou Martin has been banned from ringside in this match.

Conversely, the Blood Beast will team up with his Legion of the Apocalypse partner Bobby Badfingers as they take on Jay Flash and Shane Starr. Starr made Badfingers tap out in the Ultimate Survivor Match from last month and the Legion has targeted these two Megastars for destruction. The two young Megastars are looking forward to their rematch-of-sorts with the powerful Legion. Flash and Starr agree that the Legion has taken one too many liberties in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance and it’s time to settle the score. Flash also has unsettled business with Badfingers following their hotly-contest Golden Triangle Championship feud from last year. In addition, Flash lost the belt to The Blood Beast so there’s plenty of animosity to go around.

Has Party Gras added a third member to its Dance Squad? Not officially, but Super Ginger would certainly fit right into the KSWA Tag Team Championship stable. The Defender of Red-Headed Stepchildren Everywhere enjoys the spotlight just as much as Justin Sane and the “Megastar-of-Summer” Lord Zoltan. The “real” Zoltan and Justin Sane have had the second-longest title reign in KSWA Tag Team history and they are not about to stop their dominance, but Saturday the team takes on the Millvale Royals “The King” Del Douglas and the wacked-out Jester and their honorary squire “Nasty” Nick Crane. All three of these opponents have failed in their attempts to dethrone Party Gras, but now they get a chance in six-man tag competition.

The “Instigator” J-Ru takes on “The Ice Man” Tony Johnson in single’s competition. These two young Megastars are among the best young physical athletes on the KSWA roster, even though they go about their business is vastly different ways. J-Ru lives up to this nickname by blasting the Krazies and his opponents with verbal assaults. Meanwhile, Johnson is almost always calm, cool and collected. He lets his actions speak louder than his words, although he words are almost always about reaching for higher goals and positive reinforcement. This has the ability to be a strong, technical match.

The Rock and Roll star Dave Diamond is set to take on “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo in one-on-one action. Quervo hasn’t been a KSWA mainstay lately while Diamond Dave is just off of a hard-hitting feud in which he had a victory over the massive Ali Kaida. This may seem like a mismatch between the two; however, the savvy veteran Quervo can never be counted out.

And last but certainly not least, the KSWA Universe is abuzz over the emergence of Sam Squatch. It’s believed that the hominid found the KSWA Arena after chasing that rapid raccoon out of the Lawrenceville woods. He destroyed J-Ru recently and quickly took out Del Douglas in Plum. What is going on with Pennsylvania’s newest wrestling sensation?

“When World’s Collide” is this Saturday, August 18 at the Home of Professional Wrestling in Pittsburgh the KSWA Arena (51st and Butler Streets) in the Lawrenceville neighborhood within the city of Pittsburgh. Bell time is 7:30 p.m. Tickets are only $10 for adults, $8 for kids. Card is subject to change.