December 10, 2012
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
During his two stints as simply the “World Champion,” Bruno Sammartino sold out many venues, including the former Civic Arena in Pittsburgh. The All-Time “Living Legend” headlined another event in the Steel City at FanFest/Toy Drive 2012, and shattered attendance records again.
Along with KSWA Hall of Famer Domenic DeNucci, Bruno Sammartino hit the KSWA Arena early and thrilled nearly 500 fans who waited in lines, two hours before the doors were opened. Some brought pictures and magazines from long ago. One KSWA Krazy brought a quality, custom-made Bruno Sammartino pen to show the wrestling greats. None of the fans were turned away from Sammartino and DeNucci.
In addition to the wrestling legends, the Krazies who set the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance apart, came to see the Megastars in high-flying, hard-hitting action. They were not disappointed.
6-Pack Challenge Qualifier: The Mercenaries v. Flash & Johnson
In a pre-match stipulation, the winners of this match would fill-out the last two slots in the “6 Pack Challenge” for the 5-Star Championship. If “Nasty” Nick Crane and Sniper won, they would move on to the Challenge. The same would be said for Flash and Johnson. Both teams realized that they would have a competitive disadvantage later in the evening, but they accepted the opportunity anyway. Jay Flash and Nasty Nick Crane start out. They lock up in the center of the ring and Flash takes early advantage. Tony Johnson is tagged in. They whip Crane into the ropes and kick him down. Johnson gets a near pinfall. Crane cowers into his corner. Sniper is tagged in against Johnson. Johnson tries to floor the Mercenary but that doesn’t work out. They lock up and Sniper pushes Johnson into the corner. The fans shout “Let’s Go Ice Man.” Sniper pushes Johnson into the corner again and takes a cheap shot. Referee Jimmy James tries to gain control. The fans chant “USA” and Johnson goes for a post shot. He misses as Sniper gets out of the way. Sniper charges the corner and misses. Johnson tags in Flash who double stomps Sniper. Two count. Flash modified cannonball. Two count. Flash corners Sniper and goes for a boot. Sniper misses. Flash is kicked away but he’s able to make it to his corner and tag in Johnson. Sniper tags in Crane. The fans chant for Johnson but Crane maintains control. Crane pounds Johnson on the back of the neck. The Mercenaries double team Johnson and knock him to the mat. The fans continue to chant for Johnson. Flash is pushed into the corner. Flash recovers and then all four Megastars are in the ring. Crane is pushed to the outside as Johnson lands a drop kick. Sniper is down. Flash hits the Cannonball on Sniper and the duo gets the win. They advance to the Six Pack Challenge.
Battle of the Behemoths: Ali Kaida v. Jack Massacre
Ali Kaida makes his way to the ring, followed by Jack Massacre. The two massive Megastars make their way to the center of the ring. Kaida gets pushed into the ropes. The two battle back and forth with technical maneuvers and heavy-hitting power. Kaida pushes Massacre into the ropes for a sunset flip of all things. Jack pulls up and instead pile drives the Afghani Assault Weapon into the mat. There’s a two count before Kaida gets his foot up on the ropes. Kaida somehow gets Massacre seated on the top rope and pulls him down. The two go at it for several minutes before Massacre gets Kaida prone. Massacre goes for a massive bear hug. Kaida applies a claw hold on Massacre’s trapezius muscle. That lowers Massacre to the mat. The Krazies shout for Massacre. In a remarkable feat of strength, Kaida suplexes the behemoth Massacre in the center of the ring. Kaida battle Jack and suplexes him again in the middle of the mat with surprising ease. There’s a two count before Massacre gets his shoulder up. Massacre gets up and plants Kaida but he gets his arm on the rope. There’s a big European upper cut on Kaida. Massacre gets him to the top rope, in a seated position. Massacre launches Kaida over and down. There’s a three count. There’s too much force and power, the winner is Jack Massacre!
Guest Ring Announcer: Lanny Frattare
Before the next match commences, MSA Sports announcer and long-time Pittsburgh Pirate legend Lanny Frattare is ushered to the ring. In fact, this is scheduled to be his third consecutive year as the Guest Ring Announcer. Before Frattare can get started, the theme music for KSWA Owner Bobby O starts. Bobby O talks about their time together broadcasting sports on the MSA Sports Network. Bobby then gives Frattare a “Lifetime KSWA Krazy” Award. The award is an “All Access” pass to the KSWA. It’s only the third one ever produced (there are more KSWA Hall of Famers): KSWA Hall of Famer Howard Kernats (the only person to hold both designations), Super Krazy Kip Marchetti, and now Frattare. Frattare humbly accepts the distinction, with several members of his immediate family-including daughter Megan—at ring side.
Grudge Match: Shawn Blanchard v. Mitch Napier
Blanchard may or may not have an illegal object from the outset. Blanchard knocks Napier down and struts. Napier takes control and slams Blanchard to the mat. Blanchard crawls over and past the ropes onto the apron. He soars as Blanchard is brought in the hard way. Once on his feet, Blanchard takes his time before cornering Napier. There’s a shot to Mitch’s throat and referee Shawn Patrick checks Blanchard for an object. He finds none. Blanchard chops Napier in the chest twice then snap mares him over. Blanchard slams his knee into Mitch’s thigh. Napier has difficulty getting up and Shawn Patrick checks on him. There’s a two count on Napier. Blanchard proceeds to pound on Mitch’s shoulders. Napier tries to get some offense but that doesn’t work. Blanchard nails him with a knee to the chest. Two count. With the ref looking elsewhere, Blanchard goes to work with something previously tucked in his knee pad. Napier is posted in the corner. There’s a punt to Napier’s most precious of areas. Napier battles back with strikes and kicks. Blanchard is cornered. Napier whips him across the ring then tries a splash. Blanchard partially blocks it. Blanchard is posted on the top. Napier goes for a superplex but it is blocked. Napier is hung up on the top rope. Napier is than seated on the mat. Blanchard hooks in the sleeper. Mitch battles out then his planted with a running powerslam. Two count on Napier. Blanchard tries to smash Napier into the top turnbuckle but Napier battles out. Napier smashes Blanchard’s head into the top ropes then he is whipped into the corner. Blanchard goes over the top rope. Napier pounces and punches Blanchard 10 times in the forehead. Blanchard goes down. Two count. Napier goes to work on Blanchard’s knee. Napier appears to be working on Blanchard for the Figure Four. Napier slaps on the Figure Four! The Krazies shout for Blanchard to tap. He fights the desire. Two count as he puts his shoulders on the mat. Blanchard fights to the bottom rope. Napier releases the hold and pulls Blanchard from the ropes. Two count. Blanchard is in the corner and Napier kicks the knee. Napier pulls Blanchard out of the corner. Blanchard pokes Napier in the eye. The two fall to the outside. Blanchard goes to pile drive him but Mitch flips him over. Napier clobbers Blanchard from the apron then tosses him back in. Blanchard clubs Blanchard in the corner. Blanchard fights out but Napier hoists him up in a version of the Torture Rack. Napier’s strength is perhaps unmatched in the KSWA as he jostles Blanchard on his shoulder. Blanchard quickly submits. The winner, Mitch Napier!
J-Ru in the Ring
KSWA’s resident “Instigator” angrily makes his way to the ring. He is wearing street clothes and carrying luggage. J-Ru says that he is outraged that has hasn’t been given a match on Pittsburgh independent wrestling’s biggest stage. He says that no one anywhere is better or more important than he is. As J-Ru crows on, music for The Latin Assassin hits. The long-shelved former KSWA Champion hits the ring, but not before he high-fives most of those in attendance. His sudden showing has an already-enthusiastic throng climbing the walls. For his part, J-Ru doesn’t understand why a luggage “porter” would be getting so much attention. Once inside the ring, Latin is dismissed by J-Ru as being the person responsible for carrying his bag to a taxi cab. The Latin Assassin grabs the microphone to entertain and pipe up the crowd. “What’s Crackin’” is the simple words that set his special set of fans through the roof. There’s a little verbal jarring between the two before fisticuffs start flying. The Latin Assassin sets J-Ru running for the locker room. The crowd once again slaps hands with the Assassin as he makes his way back from where he came.
The 6-Pack Challenge
The Blood Beast and Tony Johnson start out. The two lock up in the center of the ring and the Blood Beast pushes Johnson into the corner. Johnson says “alright” when The Blood Beast crows after the move. Beast rakes Johnson’s face over the top rope. Beast tosses Johnson across the ring. Beast pounds on Johnson. Referee Justin Smith tells the Beast to stay off of Johnson’s eyes. Beast blatantly chokes Johnson then lands a gigantic clothesline. Two count. Johnson gets some momentum and rolls up Beast. Two count. Beast plants Johnson again. Two count. Beast chokes Johnson and suplexes him. One count on Johnson. Beast rakes the eyes and is scolded by Smith. Beast steps on Johnson’s midsection. Johnson kicks and chops the Beast. Beast retaliates. The two trade tremendous shots. Beast kicks Johnson in the head. Beast gets Johnson is a submission hold but the Ice Man will not relent. Johnson gets momentum and kicks Beast. Both men are down. Referee Smith starts a count. Beast sits up and Johnson gets up. Johnson lands two clotheslines and floors the Beast on the second. Beast misses with a kick. Johnson retreats to the apron. Johnson uses the rope to stagger the Beast. From the top Johnson hits a kick and records the pinfall.
Jonny Axx hits the ring. The second match starts with Axx attacking the prone and weary Johnson. Johnson lands a kick that floors Axx. Axx gets up and starts leveling blows on Johnson. Axx lands a leg drop. Two count. Axx gets Johnson in an arm-bar submission move. The Krazies start chanting “Ice” as a way to get him motivated. Johnson is whipped into the ropes. Johnson lands a clothesline that floors Axx. Johnson goes to the top rope. He lands on Axx and goes for the pin. Two count. Johnson goes for his kick and misses. Axx recovers and lands a double DDT for the win.
Jay Flash is in next. He starts out with shenanigans that allow Axx to rest. Flash covers Axx in silly string then lands a splash on a seated Axx. Axx bails to the outside to rest. Axx takes his time getting into the ring. There’s silly string all over the mat. Flash gets Axx involved with kicks to the sternum. Axx is leveled in the corner. Referee Justin Smith pulls him out. Flash lands a modified cannon ball on Axx. Flash keeps Axx down. There’s a double stomp from the middle rope. Two count. Flash soon suplexes Axx. Flash lands another modified cannon ball from the middle rope. Two count. Flash continues to use his body in every conceivable fashion. Axx, undoubtedly angered by the offense, recovers with a suplex of his own. Axx uses his power advantage to keep Flash reeling. Flash is on the top corner post. He lands on Axx, who was attempting to land a superplex. Both men are down. Smith counts to five before Flash gets up. Flash kicks Axx down and goes for a cannon ball from the top turnbuckle. Axx pushes the ref into the ropes and that knocks Flash down onto the top rope. Axx hits a suplex from the middle rope and gains the victory.
Next up is Kris Kash. Jonny Axx immediately attacks Kash and has him down. Axx gets a submission move then hits a German Suplex. The much larger Axx powers Kash down. Axx lands on Kash from the middle rope. Kash hits Axx with his flip from the corner post. Axx buries a boot in Kash’s midsection and gets a two-and-a-half count. Axx gets Kash in a Sleeper but Kash breaks out of it and lands a Whisper in the Wind. The winner is Kris Kash. This means there will be a new 5-Star Champion.
Next up is Super Ginger. The two trade impressive chops. This has been Kash’s specialty but Super Ginger is up for the task. Super Ginger is clubbed down by Kash. Ginger rolls out to the floor, where Kash lands on him with a dive. Both men are on the outside as referee Justin Smith counts to six. Ginger is rolled in and there’s a two count. Ginger gets up and chops Kash. He lands a move with is very similar to Shane Starr’s Shining Wizard. There’s a two count. Kash is whipped into the corner. Ginger picks Kash up and misses with a splash. Kash is whipped into the corner. There’s some maneuvering, then Kash lands the Whisper in the Wind. The winner and NEW 5-Star Champion is Kris Kash.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: King and Jester v. Party Gras
The King and Jester are irate as Lord Zoltan and Justin Sane dance their way around the ring. The Burger King chant is in full swing. The same can be said of Party Gras’ wackiness. Jester and Lord Zoltan start is out. Zoltan toys with The Jester in the opening moments. Zoltan gets the wrist lock and wrings Jester’s arm. Justin Sane is tagged in and leap frogs onto The Jester’s arm. Zoltan is then brought in for a series of chops onto The Jester’s arm. Jester sunset flips Zoltan onto the mat. Del Douglas shouts “Jester Style” from the corner. Zoltan pulls down Jester’s trunks to expose a smiley face drawn on his buttocks. Jester falls to the outside and the shrieks from the Krazies is deafening. Justin is tagged in and they continue the onslaught onto Jester’s posterior. The Jester falls to the outside where Douglas comforts him. Douglas enters the fray and attacks Justin. He chops Justin in the chest and holds onto his privates. The King and Jester soon double team Justin in their corner. Referee Shawn Patrick is distracted by Zoltan. Jester dances to mock Zoltan and bodyslams Justin. There’s a knee. The King is tagged in and he lands the fist that’s “Banned in 49 out of the 50 states.” The King and Jester continue their dominance of Justin Sane. Jester buries his knee into Justin’s back. Jester lands a reverse slam on Justin. Jester posts Justin to the top rope. Jester goes for the superplex. Justin somehow climbs over top of his foe and plants him with a power bomb. Douglas shouts encouragement. Jester gets to his corner, Justin to his. The Jester and Zoltan battle it out. Soon all four are in the ring. Jester and King are clubbed together in the center of the ring. Justin lands the Frog Splash on Douglas. The Mercenaries appear from nowhere and attack Zoltan. There’s a foreign object tossed to The Jester by Crane. He plants a fist on Justin’s forehead and the duo pins the Sane with Zoltan being beaten to distraction. The winners and the NEW KSWA Tag Team Champions: The Jester and “The King” Del Douglas. Zoltan returns to comfort Justin Sane. Zoltan asks for and receives the microphone. Zoltan announces that after 75 weeks, 525 days on top of the KSWA Tag Team heap, this may be the end of Party Gras. Zoltan says a few more words, (some observers may declare as a retirement speech) and says it’s time for one last dance. With that Donna Summers’ “Last Dance” plays and the legendary Lord Zoltan dances his way to the back, alongside countless fans. Even after the match, it’s unsure exactly what Zoltan meant.
Golden Triangle Champion: Bobby Badfingers v. Shane Starr
Bobby Badfingers is in a bad mood as Shane Starr hits the ring. The “You Tapped Out” chant is alive and well, pointed toward Badfingers. Badfingers attacks Starr just as the bell is rung. Badfingers hits a clothesline then goes for a choke on the Golden Triangle Champion. There’s a terrific bodyslam and Badfingers goes to the top rope. Badfingers hits a suplex. Badfingers goes for a Full Nelson. Badfingers forces referee Justin Smith to ask if Starr submits. He doesn’t. There’s a leg drop onto Starr’s midsection. Badfingers denies the action. Starr kicks Badfingers then rallies. Badfingers is whipped into the corner and then hit with a splash. Starr bodyslams Badfingers. Badfingers goes low on Starr. Badfingers drapes Starr over the top rope then lands a leg drop. There’s a two count as Starr is in the bottom rope. Badfingers gets Starr into a single-leg sharpshooter and uses the ropes for leverage. The ref breaks that up. There’s still plenty of offense as Badfingers, then Starr gain advantage. Starr gets Badfingers down and then Badfingers begs off, on his way to the corner. Starr relents. Badfingers uses the opportunity to gain advantage. There’s a leg drop and Starr is rattled but not defeated. Badfingers continues on the offensive, punctuated by a series of chops n the corner. Soon the two are trading blows. Badfingers lands a huge shot on Starr and he crumples. Starr goes for the Sharpshooter but Badfingers battles out. Badfingers rams Starr’s head into the turnbuckle. Starr is down in the center of the ring. Starr rebounds and gets Badfingers down for a two count, but Badfingers is in the corner. Badfingers is lifted into the corner, then flung to the center of the ring. The Sharpshooter is applied. The crowd goes nuts. Badfingers makes it to the ropes. Badfingers battles out. Both Megastars are spent. They trade labored blows. Starr gets some momentum. Badfingers falls down. One count before Badfingers gets his shoulder up. Badfingers lands big knees on Starr. Badfingers posts Starr then goes for a splash. Starr lands a boot. Badfingers gets Starr down and goes for a Sharpshooter of his own. Starr rolls him up for the victory. The winner and still KSWA Golden Triangle Champion: Shane Starr
KSWA World Title: Lou Martin v. (?)
Lou Martin hits the ring, demanding that Bobby O come to the ring and announce him the victor as Rick Rumsky has not been seen all day. There’s supposed to be a Strap Match. Bobby O doesn’t come in, but Ric Rumsky does make his way through the curtain. Rumsky has his ribs taped, but that seems only to be cautionary. It’s all Rumsky in the opening moments as Rumsky spears Martin then continues the offense. Martin the gains control and slaps Rumsky with the strap. The beating on Rumsky continues. Martin then uses the infamous chain on his fist to smash Rumsky more. Martin continues the grueling, power-point punishment on the Bell Aire, Ohio native. The offense moves to the outside as the Champion from the North Side pounds on Rumsky relentlessly. Martin gets to the top rope and pulls Rumsky in. There’s a clothesline, then leg drop on Rumsky. Martin goes for the Death Certificate and plants it. Assured of a victory, Martin goes for the pin. Rumsky remarkably kicks out. Rumsky out of nowhere hits a superkick. Martin, just as remarkably, kicks out. Now it’s Rumsky’s time with the strap. He beats Martin over and over with it. Then he hits his double-knee he calls Buckshot. Rumsky continues to beat Martin and hits another Buckshot, with Martin in the corner. Rumsky measures Martin. Shawn Blanchard creeps to the ring. Bobby O makes the save. Rumsky hits another superkick. Out of nowhere, two masked men in business casual attire and orange masks appear and attack Rumsky. They level him, then dash as Martin makes the cover. Jimmy James dashes in and counts the one, two, three. The winner and STILL KSWA Heavyweight Champion: Lou Martin. Bobby O wants answers, but there are none to be found as KSWA FanFest/Toy Drive 2012 comes to an end.