July 8, 2013
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
It was another hot afternoon when the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) returned to Arsenal Park in Pittsburgh’s Lawrenceville neighborhood for the annual stop on the Krazy tour! The in-ring action is usually what intrigues most Krazies, but the always-stellar action was upstaged by the passion and intensity of the owner of Pittsburgh’s professional wrestling promotion.
Jonny Axx & Jay Flash v. Everhart and Cross
The unique, new team of Axx and Flash take to the ring under incredibly sunny skies. Temperatures are in the low 90’s when the bell clangs. Some of the Krazies in attendance stood near the ring, while others sat under the shade of Arsenal Park trees. While a little warm, the afternoon was flush for wrestling action. Flash and Cross hook up in the center of the canvas. Flash gets Cross by the wrist before Cross gets him in the headlock, then sends him crashing to the mat with a shoulder block. Flash recovers with a kick to Cross’ head. That sends the newest VIP to the outside. Once out on the grass, Everhart joins in just as Flash sails over the top rope and onto the “former Canadians.” Cross is sent back in. Axx is tagged in. The largest of the Megastars in the ring hip tosses Cross down. There’s a two count on Cross. Axx dives on Cross and there’s a two count. Cross clotheslines Axx down with an impressive move. There’s a choke on the mat as referee Justin Smith tries to break it up. Everhart is tagged in and he keeps the offense on Axx. Cross is tagged back in. The newest team of VIPs whip each other into Axx in the corner. Cross then kicks Axx in the head, while he’s seated in the corner. There’s a two count. Axx breaks up a move on Cross. Both Megastars are down. Axx is almost motionless. Cross gets to Everhart. Axx gets to Flash. Flash cleans house with a variety of moves. There’s a two count on Cross. Flash picks Everhart up. Everhart small packages Flash for a near pinfall. Axx and Cross are on the outside. There’s a move that floors Everhart in the center of the ring. Flash prepares for the Cannonball but Everhart meets him there. Flash floors him with some punches. Flash lands the Cannonball for the victory! Post-match, Cross and Everhart go to the back as Flash and Axx celebrate with the Krazies.
Blanchard v. Kaida
Blanchard and Lou Martin come out and tease the crowd. Kaida comes to the ring and the Krazies embrace the new attitude of the former Afghanistan rule breaker. Referee Justin Smith checks both Megastars and Kaida asks him to check Blanchard again, as it looks as if the former 5-time champ is hiding something. Kaida, a former KSWA Champion himself, pushes Blanchard to the mat. Blanchard complains that Kaida used the hair. Blanchard gets Kaida in a test of strength and Kaida easily gets the advantage, stomps on Blanchard’s hands and then clotheslines him to the canvas. Blanchard bails. Martin meets him, kisses his injured hands with softness and rubs them for solace. Blanchard gets back in and neutralizes Kaida’s charge with an old fashioned poke to the eye. Blanchard gets Kaida down and applies a series of clinches to Kaida’s nose and mouth. Blanchard chops Kaida in the head and neck, before putting him into the ropes. There Martin attacks as the referee is distracted. The shenanigans continue, as Krazies at ring side scream in disapproval. Blanchard drops Kaida with a clothesline. Kaida’s boot gets onto the rope and forces the break, but not the offense. Blanchard gets him to his feet and into the corner. That’s where Blanchard puts a booth to Kaida’s neck. Blanchard charges from a corner and is sunset flipped to the center of the ring. Kaida punches then shoulders Blanchard in the corner. Kaida gets Blanchard in the corner, moves the ref away from the corner, then buries a knee into Blanchard’s lower quadrant. There’s a pin attempt but Blanchard somehow has his boot on the bottom rope. It’s believed that a ringside Martin had something to do with it. Kaida slams then leg drops Blanchard. Two count. Both Megastars are spent. Blanchard hits Kaida with a text book low blow and that triggers an “oooh” from the crowd. Blanchard goes for a standing suplex. He plants Kaida. Blanchard hits Kaida low again when the referee was distracted. Blanchard keeps Kaida on the mat. He starts to battle out, and lands an elbow into Blanchard’s gut. Blanchard responds with an impressive bodyslam of the near 300-lb Kaida. Kaida kicks out of a pin attempt with authority. Kaida blocks and punch, then hits a few of his own. Kaida falls Blanchard and gets a two count. Kaida over-the-top suplexes Blanchard. Both weary combatants are spent. Blanchard is posted in the corner. Kaida lands another suplex. Martin hands Blanchard something suspicious. He blasts Kaida in the forehead. The former KSWA Tag Team Champ and longtime veteran goes black. Blanchard scores the victory.
Promomotion with Bobby O and Kommissioner Perri
KSWA Owner Bobby O goes to the ring along with Kommissioner Gentleman Joe Perri. The duo talk about upcoming events and make other announcements before Bobby O takes the microphone for a serious discussion. Bobby respectfully requests Shawn Blanchard to come to the ring. Bobby had previously challenged Blanchard to a one-on-one match for Summertime Bruise on July 20. Blanchard took a few days to answer Bobby’s video with one of his own. Blanchard turned down the match. Now at Arsenal Park Bobby tries to persuade the self-proclaimed “Puppet Master” to the match. Blanchard says that Bobby has nothing to offer and he has nothing to prove. That changes; however, when Bobby says he will put up his ownership of the whole KSWA kit and caboodle to Blanchard if he wins the one-on-one contest. After some deliberation, Blanchard accepts the match. He also says that when he wins, he will fire just about everyone in the current KSWA. The entire KSWA Kommunity is haunted by that prospect. That match has been set for July 20th.
5-Star Championship: The Jester v. Kris Kash
Kash and Jester make their way to the ring. The 5-Star Champion Kash takes immediate momentum with chops that level the young challenger from the King’s Court. Kash drop kicks Jester and Justin Smith goes for the pin but only two is registered. Jester gets some offense and suplexes Kash. It remains “all Jester” for several moments. Jester misses with a clothesline and Kash drops him instead. Kash flips out of the corner and onto the challenger. Smith starts the count as both men are slow in getting to their feet. Kash with a flying body block. Two and-a-half count. Jester hits Kash with a T-Bone suplex. Jester readies for a kick, the veteran Kash dukes the move, hits Jester with Whisper in the Wind and records the victory!
Golden Triangle Championship: King Del Douglas v. Shane Starr
“King” Del Douglas enters the ring before the Golden Triangle Champion Shane Starr. Justin Smith checks both combatants and the bell rings. Starr pushes Douglas into the corner. Then Douglas pushes Starr into another corner and slaps the Golden Triangle Champ. The momentum changes for the next few minutes as both Megastars know each other rather well. King chops Starr down, then goes for a pin. Starr rolls him up into a small package. The pin attempt is broken. Douglas gets Starr into a Royal Sharpshooter but Starr gets to the ropes and breaks the hold. Both weary Megastars continue to battle it out. Starr clotheslines Douglas and gets the two-count. Starr misses a clothesline but hits a back breaker. Starr is up and pulls Douglas into the corner. Douglas pushes him off. King misses the punch that’s banned in “49 out of 50 states.” Then it’s the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter. The King holds out for a few moments before tapping out. The winner and still Golden Triangle Champion is Shane Starr! After the match, the King antagonizes Del, and Shane Starr dumps a bucket of ice onto his head. Under normal circumstances, that may not be a bad thing, but “The King” is humiliated nevertheless.
KSWA World Title: Lou Martin v. Mitch Napier
Mitch Napier comes out to a rousing entrance. “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin comes out, brandishing for the first time, a customized, 34 inch, 32 oz. black Louisville Slugger. Martin goes after Napier, but then the Iowa native attacks Martin and bystander/interloper Shawn Blanchard. The action is outside. Napier bodyslams Martin on the grass, throws him into the chain link fence, then back into the ring. Napier hits a dive from the top rope, then ties Martin up in the center of the ring. Napier pulls Martin and Blanchard across the ring. Napier dispatches Blanchard, then Blanchard returns the favor by interfering when Martin distracts the referee. Martin picks Napier up for a series of punches and a slap. Martin clotheslines Napier down, then crows about it to the crowd. The VIPs gather in the corner, as Blanchard dabs sweat from Martin’s brow with a white towel. Martin soon goes back to work on Napier, who is tied up in the middle rope. Martin uses the ropes to keep Napier immobilized. Blanchard boots Napier in the skull as the ref is distracted again. Martin slowly places Napier down for a back breaker on his right knee. Side slam gets Napier down for a two count. Martin chokes Napier in the corner. Referee Justin Smith has a difficult time getting Martin off of Napier. Martin posts Napier in the corner. A left hand stuns the Iowa strongman. Then there’s a kick and a pair of elbow drops. Napier kicks out at two. Napier rallies for a series of punches and a drop kick. Napier snaps Martin into the corner, where Napier applies a series of shoulders to the back. Napier is lifted to his feet and dumped into the corner. A snap side suplex precedes a two count. Blanchard, who has been trying to rally his partner, breaks Napier’s concentration. Napier suplexes Martin then lands a head but from the top rope. Blanchard is on the apron, long enough to catch a fist from Napier. Napier gets Martin up for the Sioux Falls Slam but not well enough. Martin counters, drops to his feet and lands the Death Certificate for the win. Martin and Blanchard shuffle their feet in a mocking manner as they make their way to the locker room.
Bobby Badfingers & the Mercenaries v. Party Gras & The Blood Beast
Bobby Badfingers comes out alone, then is followed by The Mercenaries. Party Gras comes out to dance with the overflow crowd before realizing that The Blood Beast has been hesitant in joining them. Months before, The Blood Beast had been teaming with Legion of the Apocalypse team member Badfingers. The Krazies chant “USA, USA” against the Mercenaries and Mercenary-sympathizer Badfingers. Blood Beast tosses Badfingers across the ring. Beast continues the onslaught on Badfingers but the Windy City Brawler counters. He DDT’s Blood Beast from the top rope, then Nasty Nick is tagged in. Nick pounds away on the Beast but the Camp Blood native bodyslams “Canada’s National Treasure.” Zoltan is tagged in and then it’s Justin Sane. They work on Nick’s left wrist. Zoltan is back in for the pump handle work on Crane’s appendage. Justin Sane is tagged back in and he goes for a pin on Crane but it’s too close to the Mercenaries’ corner and they break it up. Zoltan and Sane are in and they give the row boat treatment to Sniper and Nick. Sane goes for a flipping dive from the corner but misses. He may have injured his wrist in the process. Sniper gets Sane into the middle rope. Badfingers is in and DDT’s Justin into the mat. Badfingers tosses Sane into his corner and then goes after his opponents. With referee Justin Smith distracted by Zoltan and the Beast, the Mercenaries pound on Sane. Sniper splashes Sane pillar to post. He goes for the pin but only gets two before Zoltan breaks up the action. The Mercenaries double clothesline Justin. Crane is back in and he goes to work on Sane’s neck. Sane starts to break out of it but he’s met with a thumb to the eye. Badfingers is tagged in and he running power slams Sane. Sniper is tagged in and he suplexes Justin. Zoltan breaks up the pin attempt. There’s a double clothesline in the center of the ring as Sniper and Sane collide. Sane gets to Zoltan and Beast. Both are tagged in and soon all six Megastars are in the ring. Sane on Crane, Zoltan on Sniper, Beast on Badfingers. They are met in the center of the ring, noggin knocker-style. The Badfingers and Crane fall to the outside. Sane hits Sniper with a Shock Therapy Frog Splash for the win. Zoltan, Sane and Beast celebrate by dancing in varying degrees of excitement…lead by Zoltan of course.
Thus ends the KSWA’s appearance at the Arsenal Park Fireworks Celebration.