November 24, 2013
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
The evening started with a non-title matchup between Golden Triangle Champion Shane Starr and long-time nemesis “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard. It wasn’t long before the VIPs got involved, which set up a Bloomfield Street Fight of epic proportions.
Non-Title Match: Shane Starr v Shawn Blanchard
Referee Shawn Patrick checks out Golden Triangle Champion Shane Starr a second time, as per Shawn Blanchard’s request. Starr asks that Patrick checks Blanchard not once, but three time. Blanchard asks the crowd if he is a “cheater,” and he doesn’t like their loud, negative response. Blanchard argues with the crowd and Starr bounds up and down, ready for action. Blanchard gets Starr on his knees with a test of strength. Starr reverses the move and has Blanchard at his mercy. Starr steps on Blanchard’s hands and then clotheslines him before administering a sunset flip. There’s a two count on Blanchard. Then there’s a suplex. Blanchard pokes Starr in the eye. Blanchard recovers and has Patrick check Starr’s eye. Starr is compromised by the poke and Blanchard drapes his throat over the bottom rope. Blanchard distracts Patrick again and hits with more shenanigans. A back elbow drops Starr and Blanchard asks, “Who’s the Man?” The crowd moans. Blanchard makes friends with the crowd by telling them to eat popcorn and shut up. Blanchard whips Starr into the ropes. Starr gets him into the Sharpshooter. He rolls him over. Blanchard is about to tap when Dr. Devastation Lou Martin runs in. Starr meets him and gets him into the Sharpshooter and Martin immediately taps. That brings out Tyler Cross who bum rushes Starr. All three VIPs attack. After a few moments, Kris Kash, Bob Atlas and Kaida make the save. The VIPs run off, jabbering back at the wrestlers in the ring.
Bobby Badfingers and Blood Beast
Bobby Badfingers paces with his hands on his hips as The Blood Beast makes his way around the ring. Beast crawls in and showcases the mysterious red skull he carries to the ring. Beast, who has dabbled as a favorite of fans, is once again their adversary. Beast and Badfingers lock up. Beast punches Badfingers down to the mat. Badfingers, undaunted, fights back. Badfingers is splashed in the corner and then whipped into another. Badfingers falls to the outside. Badfingers tries to pull Blood Beast down but he has too much power and stops it. Badfingers gets back in and low blows Beast. That levels the playing field as the crowd groans. Badfingers drops a leg precariously close to Beast’s nether regions. There’s a series of elbow drops and Badfingers calls for the count. Referee Justin Smith provides only two. Beast powers out and lands a hellacious bodyslam. Beast tries to convince the ref that he’s not using illegal tactics by burying a leg into Badfinger’s throat. Beast keeps Badfingers down. One count. Beast picks Beadfingers up. Badfingers rallies by pushing Beast into a corner and buries a couple of shoulders. A snap mare follows. Then a seated clothesline on Badfingers. Two and a half count. Beast buries a forearm into Badfingers’ back. A big boot follows. One, two…kick out on two. Badfingers is receiving some serious business. A kick to the back of head falls Badfingers. Then a rear chin lock keeps Badfingers down. Badfingers gets to his feet and breaks the hold with elbows. Badfingers misses a clothesline but catches a boot to the gut. Badfingers spears Beast and gets the win.
Declaration From The Owner
Unannounced, KSWA Owner Shawn Blanchard comes to the ring and takes the microphone. He says that he’s tired of outside interference from guys like Kris Kash and “Mr. Puniverse” Bob Atlas so he and Lou Martin are to take on those wrestlers in the Main Event. He also announced that it would be a Bloomfield Street Fight.
Party Gras v. The Mercenaries
Cape Town, South Africa’s Sniper and Montreal, Canada’s “Nasty” Nick Crane are booed out of the gymnasium after Party Gras is introduced to countless dancing throngs. The Mercenaries tidy up their flags and paraphernalia. Referee Shawn Patrick goes over some rules with Party Gras. Lord Zoltan and Justin Sane shush the crowd. Then Lord Zoltan leads a ruckus “USA” chant from kids and parents alike. The bell rings and Party Gras change their mind as to what corner they want. They do it three more times. It’s a tactic that has rattled opponents forever, none moreso than The Mercenaries. Once to their original corner, Zoltan starts another USA chant. The crowd loves it. More than three minutes of the match have elapsed and no one has so-much as locked arms. At 3:31, Justin Sane bolts to the back and comes out with a step stool. Sniper comes in gets on all fours. Crane gets on his back and Justin pushes him over at the 4:12 mark. A while later Zoltan is tagged in and he goes to work on Crane’s left wrist. Zoltan pumps the wrist 10 times. Sane leap frogs Zoltan and onto Crane’s arm. Sane works the arm and tags in Zoltan who lays a double sledge. All over again, Zoltan pumps Crane’s arm. Sane is tagged in and he goes after the arm. Crane pokes Justin in the face and that’s enough for the veteran to get an advantage. Sniper is tagged in for first time at 6:36 of the match. He goes to work on Sane with a suplex. There’s a two count on Sane. Crane is tagged back in and he lays the fists to Sane. The ref is distracted and the Mercenaries double team Sane. Crane puts the boots to Justin in the Mercenaries corner. Sniper jams his boot into Justin’s throat. Sniper collects Justin and peppers in a right fist as Patrick is distracted by Zoltan. Sniper splashes Sane in the corner. He does it a second time and follows up with a bulldog. A phantom tag is made and Crane goes in to choke Sane. Zoltan pleads that no tag was made but Patrick has his hands full. Crane has Sane in a front face lock. Zoltan is tagged in but Patrick doesn’t see it. He forces Zoltan back and the Mercenaries continue their assault. They do it again to the Mercenaries’ advantage. Crane head-butts Sane. Crane pins Sane but for only two taps on the mat. Zoltan rallies the crowd. Sane and Crane double clothesline each other. They are both down as the kids in attendance are deafening. Each man tags in their partner. Zoltan drops both. Sane has Crane in a corner, Zoltan has Sniper. They apply the 10 punch. The Mercenaries are thrown together in the center of the ring. Sniper falls to the outside. Sane lands the Shock Therapy Frog Splash and gets the three count. The winners are Party Gras! The Mercenaries retreat and Party Gras celebrates with the fans.
Del Douglas v. El Skeletorios
The former 12-time Mexican Champion, and cousin of La Lucha, has the Krazies call Douglas “Burger King.” Douglas is angered by that. The bell rings and Douglas tells El Skeletarios to watch his hair. The fans shout “Burger King.” Douglas rallies by knocking El Skeletarios down and administers two elbows. Douglas body slams El Skeletarios. Douglas stomps the Mexican import and gets a two count. Douglas pulls El Skeletarios up and drops him a second time. Douglas buries a knee and then another into El Skelly’s midsection. Douglas chokes El Skelly and that has referee Justin Smith’s ire. Douglas misses a splash on El Skeletarios and the masked one gets some offense. Skelly gets Douglas down for a two count. He knocks Douglas’ head into all four corner posts. The last one leaves Douglas a crumpled mess. Skelly splashes Douglas, akin to his cousin La Lucha. Then there’s a leg drop that leaves Douglas half a count away from a loss. El Skeletarios misses a move from the top rope. Douglas counters, hits him with a “Drop It Like It’s Hot” and then a fist that’s “banned in 49 out of 50 states” from the top rope that scores him the victory.
Tyler Cross v. Kaida
The two Megastars lock up. Kaida forces Cross into the corner. Cross is then dropped in the center of the ring. Kaida pushes Cross into another corner and then follows with a splash and shakes the ring. Then there’s another. Kaida simply pushes Cross down and just gets a two count. Kaida applies a pinch hold onto Cross’ shoulder but he forces out of it with a less-than-upstanding move. Cross buries fingers into Kaida’s face and forces the much larger opponent into the corner. Cross lands a right hand and staggers Kaida. There’s a rake of the eyes across the top rope. Cross keeps up the assault of fists. Kaida is down to his knees and there’s a kick. Two count on Kaida. Cross once again digs at Kaida’s face. There’s a boot to his mush. Kaida screams in pain and referee Smith breaks it up. Cross rains more blows onto Kaida’s skull. Drop kick on Kaida. Two count on Kaida before the big man gets his shoulder up. Cross splashes Kaida in the corner and then misses with a clothesline. Kaida hits Cross with a series of forearms and then slams him down. Both Megastars are wobbly. Cross mule-kicks Kaida to get an advantage. He forces Kaida down into a rear chin lock. Kaida muscles his way up and into a remarkable Cobra Clutch. Cross quickly taps out and gets the win via submission.
The Jester v. Joey Quervo
The Jester skips, dances and grinds his posterior for the crowd. They groan in unison. The bell rings and Quervo takes complete control with arm drags and other offensive maneuvers. Jester gets up and takes over. Jester side suplexes Quervo down. He uses a boot on his throat for the mandatory 4.75 second count. Jester boots Quervo in the back while seated. He goes for the unorthodox pin gets a two-count. Jester boots Quervo in the gut and gets a two count. There’s a quick suplex and then a standing cannonball. Two count. Jester again stands on Quervo’s throat. A two-count is registered. Jester picks Quervo up then hits a big suplex. Jester says, “He’s dead,” but the Luchadore is not. He kicks up at two. Quervo goes for a kick, Jester catches it and Quervo plants him in the head with a bare foot. He drops Jester down then goes high to the middle rope for a leg drop. He misses. Jester kicks him in the back of the head. Jester goes up top and he lands a perfect splash for the victory. Referee Justin Smith helps Quervo to the back.
VIPs v. Kash & Atlas
All four athletes immediately start pounding each other in this Bloomfield Street Fight. The VIPs bail to the outside, where anything goes. The duo jaws with Krazies at ringside. Blanchard and Martin are hesitant about getting back in. Kash and Atlas bring them in the hard way, over the top rope. Atlas on Blanchard, Kash on Martin, they pound on each other’s skull. Blanchard is tossed into a corner and then Martin. Blanchard falls on top of Martin to the fans hysterics. All four wrestlers are on the outside. Atlas punches Blanchard, Kash hits Martin. The VIPs are tossed together. Kash gets the crowd into a frenzy. Kash hits Blanchard in the bean with a trash can. Blanchard gets an opportunity to plunk Kash and he does. Martin rolls back in and Atlas follows. Blanchard hit Kash with a plastic sign that reads “Guest.” Blanchard tosses Kash into a ring post. Martin falls Atlas and then drops a leg. Two count. Martin lambasts Atlas in the head with a bowling pin. Kash attacks Blanchard on the outside. Martin digs at Atlas’ face. It’s all legal in a Bloomfield Street Fight. Martin double noggin knocks his opponents. Martin jaws with Referee Shawn Patrick. Martin goes after Kash. Blanchard spills Atlas to the outside. The VIPs double team Kash. With Kash down, Martin goes after Atlas. Blanchard bodyslams Kash. Blanchard goes to the top rope. That’s rare air for the Enforcer. He lands a big elbow on Kash. Blanchard may be able to get the pin but he chooses not to. Martin goes after Atlas on the outside but Mr. Puniverse battles back. Blanchard goes after Kash on the inside. Kash spins off the middle rope onto Blanchard. Both men are down. Atlas attacks Martin on the outside with popcorn and other goodies. Kash sets up bowling pins on Blanchard’s crotch. He drop kicks into them. The match has been pandemonium. Kash and Atlas both attack Martin with various items. Blanchard rolls onto the floor after them. Blanchard kicks Kash and then pulls his shirt off. They trade blows. Kash chops Blanchard down. Martin is on his back in the middle of the ring. Atlas is with him. He drops a head-butt into Martin’s stomach. Both VIPs are on the outside for Kash’s dive from the top rope. The crowd is electric. Kash rushes back into the ring. Then Kash and Atlas leave to go after the VIPs. Blanchard is rolled in while Martin catches a water bottle in the forehead. Martin is tossed to the outside. Blanchard goes cheap on Atlas and then spills Kash out. Atlas gets Blanchard into a sleeper hold. Kids at ringside bounce up and down in excitement. Blanchard is out. Kash hits a terrific cannonball splash from the top rope and the duo records an impressive win. Atlas and Kash dance with the shouting fans to “What Does The Fox Say?”
Thus ends the Road to FanFest visit to St. Maria Goretti in Bloomfield. Next up, the KSWA’s biggest event of the year, FanFest on December 7 at the KSWA Arena.