February 23, 2014
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
When Shane Starr defeated the Blood Beast for the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Golden Triangle Championship on September 14, 2012, he was still months away from earning a shot at the most prestigious prize in the Commonwealth: the KSWA World Title. Then when he won the World Title at FanFest on December 7, 2013 in “Winner Take All” fashion, Starr became the first Megastar to ever hold both straps simultaneously. At “Revenge,” that all changed.
Sniper v. Joey Quervo
Sniper comes to the ring with Mercenaries co-hort “Nasty” Nick Crane, who has promised to win the KSWA Heavyweight belt later in the evening and carry it along with Canadian Olympians in Sochi and then again at a parade in Montreal. The bell rings and Joey staggers around the ring. They hook up and Quervo goes for the wrist lock. He gets Sniper down. Sniper recovers and pops Quervo with a right hand that floors the Luchadore. Quervo is draped over the middle rope, where Crane chokes him. Sniper goes for a cover and gets two. Sniper gets Quervo in the corner and chops him twice. Sniper charges for a splash but misses. Sniper gives Quervo a sit-down power bomb in the center of the ring. Remarkably, there’s only a two-count. Usually that would have been more than enough to turn Joey’s lights out. Referee Justin Smith counts two after another pin attempt. Quervo punches Sniper in the gut by Sniper floors him with a punch. Sniper keeps with the offense and chops Joey in the chest. Nick gets on the apron and Quervo whips Sniper into Nick and rolls up the Mercenary for the exciting win! The large crowd goes ballistic.
Battle Bowl announcement
Gentleman Joe Perri arrives in the ring with four envelopes and Battle Bowl 6 Winner Big Mike Malachi comes to the ring with “Ice Man” Tony Johnson and “The King” Del Douglas. Finalist J-Ru reportedly protested “Revenge” and refused to attend. The envelopes were unveiled and Big Mike Malachi earned a shot at the KSWA’s 5-Star Championship, a belt currently held by Bobby Badfingers. “The King” Del Douglas earned a shot at the Golden Triangle Championship, and “Ice Man” Tony Johnson won a shot at the Tag Team Championship, along with a partner of his choice. J-Ru, despite not coming to the event, is awarded a shot at the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship.
Six Man Tag: Bulldozer and Bobby Badfingers (w/Mayor Mystery) and Del Douglas v. Party Gras and Kris Kash. After long introductions, Douglas, Badfingers and Bulldozer bail to the outside of the ring. Kids at ringside shout “fattie” at the 365 lb. Bulldozer. Referee Shawn Patrick gets everyone in the ring. Some Krazies shout for Bulldozer. Douglas says that Dozer is “built.” A fan says “like a Lumpa.” The bell rings and the action starts with Bulldozer in the ring against Lord Zoltan. Justin Sane taunts Bulldozer from the apron. It takes more than a minute before Dozer and Zoltan lock up. Bulldozer pushes Zoltan to the corner. Bulldozer then taunts the KSWA Hall of Famer. They lock up again and Dozer pushes Zoltan into the corner, all to Mayor Mystery’s approval. Zoltan hip tosses Bulldozer from the corner and the big man falls into the corner with Sane and Kash. The duo clotheslines and chops Dozer down. Kash is in and drop-kicks Dozer but that has little effect. Bulldozer catches Kash and side slams him in the center of the ring. Badfingers is tagged back in. Badfingers clubs Kash into his corner. Douglas distracts the referee and Kash is pummeled. Bulldozer at one point stands on Kash’s chest. Douglas grabs Kash by the privates and drops him down for a two count. Bulldozer tries to lift Kash but he is dropped. Bulldozer measures a dizzy Kash. Dozer swings him with a Half Nelson. Kash is lifted into the corner. Badfingers tosses Kash into the corner and he spins out onto the 5-Star Champion. Both Megastars are down. Justin Sane is tagged in and he goes into the Lion’s Den where Del Douglas was tagged in. An inverted DDT drops Del but Douglas blocks it well enough to keep him coherent. Bulldozer is in and suplexes Justin down. He touts the move with one boot on Sane’s neck. Badfingers is in and so is Zoltan. Lord Zoltan goes after both Badfingers and Bulldozer. Mayor Mystery jumps in the center of the ring. Party Gras and Kash toss their opponents into the center of the ring and wipe out Mystery. All three fall on top of him. Sane hits the Frog Splash from the top rope and the team of Party Gras and Kris Kash get the win.
Edric Everhart v. Tony Johnson
Everhart, one-half of the KSWA Tag Team Champions, says that he wants to now be referred to as the “Emperor of the Hipsters.” The Krazies groan in unison. The Ice Man Tony Johnson rushes the ring and breaks up the celebration of self by attacking Everhart. Once Edric regroups, Johnson grabs him in a side headlock. Johnson floors his opponent and Everhart once again retreats to a neutral corner. Johnson locks him in again. The opponents, who faced each other many times, counter each other’s moves. Everhart drops Johnson for the first time in the match. Everhart goes after Johnson’s left knee. Everhart drapes the knee over the middle rope and drops his weight on it. Johnson crumbles in pain. Everhart keeps up the assault. Johnson does get a respite when he kicks Everhart off of him. Everhart, in a quick, fluid move, tosses Johnson over the top of his head and into the ropes. Everhart continues on the knee while Johnson goes for the bottom rope. Everhart ties Johnson up in the corner. Everhart hop scotches and misses with the kick. Johnson hits him with a move and then the opponents club each other. Everhart gets a two-count on Johnson. Everhart continues to punch at Johnson’s knee. Johnson tries to get up. Everhart misses a splash. Johnson clubs him. Then again. Johnson clotheslines Everhart down. Out of nowhere, Johnson lands and impressive snap power slam. Everhart is down and Johnson posts himself in the corner, ready for his big kick. Everhart gets to his feet. Johnson falters before he can hit the kick. Everhart kicks him in the head himself. Everhart saunters around the ring. He slowly goes for the Figure Four. Johnson rolls him up. Two count. They get up and Johnson hits him with the drop kick. Patrick slaps the mat and calls for the bell. Tony Johnson is your winner.
Shane Starr Announcement
KSWA World Champion and Golden Triangle Champion Shane Starr comes to the ring and talks about the anguish he’s felt about holding onto both titles. He says that the KSWA has always been about “opportunity.” He said the Golden Triangle Championship has given him opportunities and it’s time to do the same for someone else. He said that he spoke with the KSWA Championship Committee and they accepted his decision to vacate the Golden Triangle Championship. With that, “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin ran from the locker room and attacked Starr. Kaida emerged from somewhere and attacked Martin. Starr was able to roll to the outside. The Blood Beast raced to the ring and attacked Kaida. Then Big Mike Malachi followed and attacked the Blood Beast. Mayhem ensued. At one point, Kaida tossed Martin into a soda machine and nearly broke it and Martin. The referees came and finally broke it up.
KSWA World Title Match: “Nasty” Nick Crane v. Shane Starr (Champion)
With Starr still at ringside after the melee, Nasty Nick attacks the Champion and Sniper is out for good measure. Incredibly and without proper introductions, Justin Smith calls for the bell and the match begins. Starr is being kicked relentlessly. Sniper uses the bottom rope on Starr’s neck as Crane distracts the referee. Nick goes for a pin at the one-minute mark but gets only one. A two count follows. Crane continues the assault until Starr is able to kick out and start some offense. The crowd chants “USA.” Starr gets Crane up on his shoulders and stands up. He drops Crane in the center of the ring. Both Megastars are down. Starr gets up at seven. He posts Crane in the corner and goes for the superplex. Crane pushes him off twice. Referee Justin Smith counts to two when Crane goes for the pin on Starr. Crane dumps the champion out onto the floor. Sniper rolls Starr back in and Crane goes the pin and gets two. Crane lifts Starr and drops him to his knees with a shot. He continues to pound away, with dreams of wrestling Gold in his near future. Nick goes for the Maple Leaf leg lock but Starr powers up enough to get to the bottom rope. Smith breaks the hold. Crane confabs with Sniper before he goes right after Starr again. Two count. The match has been one of “Nasty” Nick’s best in the KSWA. Starr recovers and clotheslines Crane. He whips Crane into the ropes and just gets him with a drop kick. Two count and Crane gets his leg into the ropes. Starr calls for the Sharpshooter. Sniper gets to the apron. Starr atomic drop’s Crane into Sniper. Crane falls back and into Starr’s finishing move. Starr gets the win and remains the KSWA World Heavyweight Champion. Starr celebrates by waving Old Glory in the center of the ring before the excited, packed house.
Tag Team Match: Martin and Blood Beast v. Kaida and Big Mike Malachi
The interesting thing about this match is that it reunites the International Thugs: Kaida and Big Mike Malachi. Malachi and Blood Beast face off the in the center of the ring with shoves. Blood Beast punches Malachi and then clotheslines him while the former KSWA Champion is prone on his seat. Martin is tagged in and he drops a fist onto Malachi. Martin digs his boot into Malachi’s throat. Martin taunts Kaida and they trade slaps. That draws Kaida into the ring and the attention of Justin Smith. Blood Beast is tagged and he bodyslams Malachi. He goes for the pin but Kaida breaks it up. Blood Beast spins and slugs Malachi with a clothesline. Martin is in for a series of elbows. Malachi kicks Martin in the head and drops him in the center of the ring. Malachi crawls as Martin meets him with fists. The crowd chants “Garbage Pants.” Martin pulls Malachi’s arms back but the big Irishman powers out of it and drops Martin with a side suplex. Smith starts the double count out. Both men make it to their corners. Kaida and Beast are in. Kaida is all over Beast with splashes. Kaida drops the Beast on his head. Beast immediately rolls outside. Kaida suplexes Martin over the top. The Krazies are at a fever pitch. Kaida drops Beast on his head a second time. Beast and Martin are on the outside. Beast is still the legal man. The fans chant for Kaida. Kaida grabs both Megastars and pulls them in the hard way. Malachi is tagged in. Malachi hits Beast with a double sledge. Malachi goes for a move but Beast blocks it and drops Malachi for a two-count. The tag is made from Beast to Martin. Martin kicks Malachi and then buries his neck into the middle rope. Martin drops his Garbage Pants on Malachi and then poses for the crowd. Malachi is in a heap in the center of the ring. Martin gouges at Malachi and Smith counts to four. Martin kicks Malachi and drops a leg from the middle rope. Kaida breaks up the count. Martin gouges at Malachi again. Martin chokes Malachi with his own shoulder strap. Smith is busy counting Kaida out to the apron. Martin slides Malachi into the Sleeper. On the third drop of the arm, Malachi rallies. Malachi stuns Martin and is able to free himself from the grinding onslaught. Beast breaks up Malachi’s pin attempt. Malachi side slams Martin with an epic growl. Two count. Kaida wants a three count. Malachi scoop slams Martin and gets a two-count. Both Megastars are frazzled at this point. Malachi suplexes Martin. For nearly 13 minutes it has been nothing but grinding and high-power moves. Kaida is tagged in and they double team Martin in a submission move for a four-count. Malachi drives Beast into a corner. Kaida drives Martin. They whip Beast and Martin in the middle of the ring and then roll Beast out. Martin is man-handled by Kaida. He suplexes him and Malachi hits Martin with the Malachi Crunch. Kaida and Malachi are your winners. The crowd is in jubilation.
Tyler Cross v. Jay Flash
Tyler Cross comes out with Shawn Blanchard. Cross grabs the microphone and says that he “slashed” Jay Flash’s tires and the South Beach Soldier would not be in attendance at “Revenge.” Referee Shawn Patrick calls for the bell and counts to ten. The winner by no-show is Tyler Cross.
The Jester (w/Bobby O) v. Shawn Blanchard
KSWA Owner Shawn Blanchard says that since Cross didn’t have a match, he was going to be in a handicap match with him against “that Clown” the Jester. Cross clotheslines Jester down. Blanchard is in and he goes after The Jester. Blanchard back elbows Jester and tags in Cross. Cross punches Jester down. Cross goes for a pin and gets a two-count on Jester. Cross drops Jester. Referee Shawn Patrick counts to two. Blanchard drops Jester and then misses with a clothesline. He hits the rapscallion with a knee lift. Cross is in and sends The Jester into Blanchard’s clutches. Cross has Jester in a submission move but he gets out of it. He floors both Cross and Blanchard. Jester climbs to the top rope and lands a perfect splash. Patrick counts to three and Jester gets the win. The crowd goes crazy for The Jester! Bobby O and Jester celebrate with the fans.
Thus ends KSWA Revenge!