June 1, 2014
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
When KSWA World Tag Team Champions—and former VIPs—Edric Everhart and Tyler Cross issued an Open Challenge to the locker room, they couldn’t have guessed that they would have riled the largest hornet’s nest in the promotion’s history. But they did.
KSWA Owner Bobby O couldn’t have guessed that former Owner Shawn Blanchard would have had a trick up his sleeve moving forward into the New Era of the KSWA. But he did.
And with a lineup of former KSWA Golden Triangle Champions in the tournament to crown a new champion, you couldn’t have guessed that half of the field moving forward would be without Single’s Gold. But they are.
First Round in Golden Triangle Championship Tournament: Shawn Blanchard v. Kris Kash
Both men take their time getting ready. The Krazies are ready for some Golden Triangle Championship tourney action. The fans chant “Cheater,” as it appears that Blanchard may or may not have something tucked away in his hand. Kash gets the crowd into an early frenzy. It is two full minutes before the long-time adversaries lock up. Blanchard throws Kash down, then quickly retreats to a corner when Kash comes back at him. Kash grabs Blanchard by the wrist. Kash goes up top and flips Blanchard out of the ring. Blanchard gets back in and immediately goes on the offense. There’s a back elbow that drops Kash. Blanchard drops an elbow. Blanchard digs at Kash’s eyes. Two count on Kash. Blanchard gouges at Kash’s trapezius muscles. Referee Justin Smith asks Kash if he gives up and he refuses. Kash gets up and falls right into a spinebuster suplex. With Kash down, Blanchard distracts the ref. There’s a well-placed knee to the midsection, perhaps even lower than that. Kash is then posted into the corner. There’s a superplex off the top rope. Two count on Kash! Blanchard argues that it was three but Smith says no. Blanchard picks Kash up and tosses him into the corner. Kash rallies back with chops of his own after Blanchard plants a few. Kash flips out of the corner and onto Blanchard. Both Megastars are down. Kash is up at the seven count. He pounds Blanchard with punches then a drop kick. Blanchard kicks up at two. Kash climbs to the top rope and drops a modified leg drop onto Blanchard. Two count. Kash continues to work the arm and Blanchard will not give up. A series of leg drops are placed upon Blanchard’s arm. Blanchard battles up and lifts Kash up. He drops him down with serious force. Blanchard goes outside and rams Kash’s leg onto the corner post. Blanchard works the leg repeatedly, and climbs back to stop the count. Blanchard rams Kash into the post—crotch first—then drops him onto the floor. Blanchard drops a knee. Blanchard continues to bend Kash’s leg. He stomps on the former two-time Golden Triangle Champion’s ankle. Blanchard goes for the Figure Four but Kash suddenly rolls him up and gets the win. Blanchard, upset and shocked with the outcome, tosses Kash over the top rope onto the floor below.
Shane Starr comes to the ring to thank the Krazies for making their way to the new venue. He says that it’s a “New Era” and that he is “The Future” of the KSWA. The fans are all on board. Without warning, J-Ru comes out of nowhere and says that he—and not Shane Starr—is the true shining light for the KSWA. He waves his Battle Bowl contract for a shot at the KSWA World Title. Starr says he is going to give J-Ru a shot at the belt tonight and he can keep his contract opportunity for another day. The fans are geared up for that!
KSWA World Title Match: Shane Starr v. J-Ru
The bell rings and each Megastar go into each of the four corners for crowd approval. J-Ru receives a respectable amount of favorable attention from fans but the reaction for Starr is almost deafening. Starr slaps J-Ru and the wrestlers proceed to grapple. Starr hip tosses J-Ru and he goes to the apron. Starr brings him in the hard way and J-Ru rolls all the way out onto the floor. Starr follows and they battle on the outside. J-Ru gets inside and tries to use the top rope as a weapon but that backfires. J-Ru eventually gets Starr down and into the middle rope. J-Ru goes after Starr and lazily attempts to pin him with one hand. Starr goes for the Shining Wizard but J-Ru blocks it. J-Ru tries the same but Starr blocks it. They run the ropes until they meet in the center of the ring with a double clothesline. The get up and trade punches. J-Ru whips Starr into the corner and meets him with a clothesline. J-Ru goes to the top rope and misses with a splash on Starr. Starr climbs to the corner rope. Starr gets him up again and J-Ru reads it perfectly. He nearly rolls Starr up but Starr kicks out. Starr gets up and lands the Shining Wizard and gets the pin, one, two and three in the center of the ring.
First Round in Golden Triangle Championship Tournament: Del Douglas v. El Skeletorious
El Skeletorious comes to the ring as a surprise entrant in the Golden Triangle Tournament. The Krazies are enthusiastically behind the dancing, former 12-time Mexican champion. El Skeletorious immediately crawls around the ring after Douglas and chases him in and out of the ring. Once back inside the squared circle, Douglas was waiting with some heavy fists. One count on El Skeltorious. It’s all Douglas as he ties El Skeletorious to the Tree of Woe. He drop kicks Skelly and then plants him with a side suplex. Two count on Skelly. Another two count after another Douglas move. Douglas goes for El Skeletorious’ mask. Referee Justin Smith admonishes Douglas. Skeletorious body blocks Douglas and proceeds to the two-time former Golden Triangle champ with stomp from the middle rope. El Skeletorious continues the offense and plants him onto the middle rope for a kick to the midsection. Skelly has the crowd in his corner. The fans chant for El Skeletorious to lead into a splash with his rear-end. He does. Skelly kicks Douglas in the shoulders and then on the chest. Douglas spins Skelly into the corner for a series of shoulder blocks to the midsection. El Skeletorious is down for a leg drop from Douglas. He misses with a second one. Douglas suplexes the Mexican hero. El Skeletorious drops Douglas for a pin attempt and gets only a two count. Douglas lands “Drop it like it’s Hot.” This is a preamble for the “Fist that’s banned in 49 out of the 50 states.” He lands it and gets the three count to advance to the next round.
KSWA Owner Bobby O makes his way to the ring to give his own welcoming words to the crowd. He also laments that now-former owner Shawn Blanchard has been ducking him all day. This leads to Blanchard’s entrance music being played. Blanchard comes to the ring and says that where he is, the “beer is cold and she (he points to a random female Krazies) dreams of me.” Shawn Blanchard drops the announcement that he sold 50-percent of the KSWA shares to KSWA Hall of Famer “Mr. Tenacity” Tommy Faime. Faime comes to the ring, takes the microphone from the Owner and immediately starts to insult the Krazies. Faime says that Bobby O has to “stay out of my way.” Faime leaves just like that. Bobby O is left without words.
Six Man Tag Team Action: Party Gras and Bob Atlas v. The Mercenaries and The Blood Beast
Referee Shawn Patrick has a hard time getting these six wrestlers separated. Zoltan starts out with Sniper and gets him into a wrist lock. He keeps the Mercenary from the corner and then takes him back to his the Party Gras corner. Atlas is tagged in and then Justin Sane. Sane drapes Sniper’s arm over the top rope. Zoltan is tagged back in and he keeps the momentum on Sniper. Nasty Nick climbs in and his dropped to the mat. Party Gras row-boats the Mercenaries’ legs and Atlas corners The Blood Beast. Beast is tagged in and so is Sane. Beast drops Sane with a clothesline. The behemoth keeps his shin on Sane’s neck while the referee is distracted. Crane is tagged in and he delivers blows on Sane. He does the same with Sane as Zoltan did with Sniper, not allowing a tag. Sniper is tagged in and he suplexes Sane. Sniper tags in The Blood Beast who kicks Sane with considerable force. There’s a bodyslam. Two count. The Blood Beast clotheslines a seated Sane. Two count. Referee Shawn Patrick checks the corner turnbuckles as Nasty Nick is tagged in and goes for a modified Cobra Clutch on Sane. Sane tries to climb out of the position. Sniper is tagged in and applies a well-placed boot onto Sane. A two-count follows. Sniper splashes Sane twice and follows up with a bulldog. Zoltan kicks Patrick and says he “slipped.” That allows Sane more time to get his shoulder up. Sniper tags Crane. He goes after Sane and drops him in the middle rope. Sniper gets his leg onto Sane as Patrick is distracted by Zoltan. Crane puts his boot onto the rope and Patrick calls off the pin attempt. Beast is tagged back in and he kicks Sane. Beast goes for a wrist lock. A huge clothesline drops Sane. Blood Beast sends Sane into his corner. Beast holds him up and Sniper goes to work on Sane’s midsection. Zoltan climbs in as Sniper snipes at Sane’s throat. There’s a double-clothesline in the center of the ring. Sane tags in Zoltan, who goes to work on his opponents. Soon all six men are in the ring: Sane on Crane, Zoltan on Beast, Atlas on Sniper. All Merenaries and Beasts are clonked in the center of the ring. Sane dives on Beast for the three count. Crane complains afterwards, saying that he was the legal man and not Blood Beast. He said he would file a protest with Owner Bobby O or Shareholder Tommy Faime.
First Round in Golden Triangle Championship Tournament: Lou Martin v. The Jester Lou Martin scatters from the ring when the Jester cartwheels his way in. Referee Justin Smith checks the white-paint-faced Jester as Martin taunts the capacity crowd. The Jester chases Martin back out of the ring by cupping his plus-sized pecs Martin’s way. Referee Smith tells Martin not to “touch his (The Jester’s) breasts. That earns a laugh from everyone at ringside. The Jester sends Martin outside and they battle back-and-forth. Jester chops Martin over and over. Martin is pushed inside but the veteran goes to work on the Jester once he gets back in. There’s a back body drop on Martin. Jester goes up top but misses with a flop. Martin goes to work by scraping Jester’s back and side-slamming him. There’s a two-count on The Jester. Martin has The Jester down and threatens to break the former King valet’s arms. Jester breaks out of it and lands an elbow onto the one-time GT Champion. Martin goes to work on The Jester in the middle rope and lands a modified splash. Martin stands on The Jester’s chest while he’s in the corner. Martin peppers The Jester’s midsection. Martin drives elbow-upon-elbow into Jester’s throat. There’s a splash and The Jester is down. Martin uses a shady move to drop The Jester. There’s a snap suplex that downs the Jester. A two-count is registered and The Jester kicks out. Martin peppers more. He misses with a clothesline and the Megastars collided with a double clothesline. Both men are down as Smith counts both men. Both are up at eight. Jester peppers Martin and suplexes him over. There’s a two count of his own on Martin. A quick DDT plants The Jester. Justin Smith counts one and two before Jester kicks up. Martin gets him ready for the Death Certificate. Jester avoids it and kicks Martin. Jester climbs to the top corner and lands an incredible frog splash on Martin and the Temple erupts as Jester gets the win and advances in the Golden Triangle Tournament!
5-Star Champion: Joey Quervo v. Bobby Badfingers (w/Mayor Mystery)
Mayor Mystery finds a microphone away from the ring and runs down the KSWA for staying in Lawrenceville. He had hoped that the federation would move to a “good wrestling town, like Cleveland.” The bell rings and the action begins as Shawn Patrick tries to make sure that Quervo is cognoscente. Quervo falls down and Badfingers gets a near pinfall. Quervo, perhaps playing opossum, quickly rolls up Badfingers and nearly gets a surprise win. Badfingers gets Quervo in the ropes and Mayor Mystery attacks him with the cane. The referee was distracted at that juncture. The offense is all Bobby Badfingers for the next few minutes. Badfingers hoists Quervo up and drops him from his shoulders. Two count by Patrick. Badfingers clotheslines Quervo and gets a two count. Badfingers complains about what he believes was a “three count.” Quervo retaliates with a move of his own. That downs Badfingers. Quervo fights with Mayor Mystery on the apron. Badfingers brings a chair in and plasters Quervo with it from behind. Patrick sees the infraction and calls for the bell. The winner by DQ is Quervo. The Krazies roar in disapproval when it’s announced that Badfingers continues to hold onto the strap.
First Round in Golden Triangle Championship Tournament: Bulldozer (w/Mayor Mystery) v. “Ice Man” Tony Johnson (w/Jay Flash)
The Krazies go beserk when Ice Man Johnson is introduced. The bell rings as Johnson and Bulldozer feel each other out. Jay Flash, who is hobbled and on crutches due to an out-of-state wrestling accident, still intimidates Mayor Mystery enough to skedaddle him to the other side of the temple. Bulldozer has Johnson in a wrist lock and leverages him down to the mat, but Johnson kicks out and grabs Bulldozer in a headlock. Dozer reverses the hold and gets him down for a one-count. Bulldozer shoulder blocks Johnson but he kicks right up. Bulldozer drops him again then misses with a splash. Johnson rolls out of a corner and misses a splash. There’s a series of back-and-forth moves then Johnson hits an impressive kick that makes the crowd roar in appreciation. Later, Dozer hits Johnson with such force that shock waves are actually seen in the Teamster Temple. Two count on Johnson. Flash chases Mayor Mystery on the outside because Mystery had started to get too involved from the outside. Bulldozer clubs Johnson with massive right hands that bury him into the corner. Bulldozer pulls Johnson out of the corner and drops him with a right hand. Mayor Mystery assails Johnson again on the outside as Smith is distracted by the One Man Wrecking Crew from Detroit. Two count on Johnson as Ice Man kicks up. Johnson staggers up. Bulldozer gets him in a swinging neck-breaker. Johnson goes down to one knee. Smith drops his arm twice but the third time, Johnson lifts his arm. Johnson avoids a sit-down splash but gets caught in a flying body press. Bulldozer drops him down for a two count. Bulldozer goes for a second-rope splash but Johnson gets his boot up. He kicks Dozer, misses with his own kick. Bulldozer hits Johnson with one of the most impressive spears ever seen. Johnson somehow kicks out at two. Bulldozer clubs Johnson over the top rope with a clothesline. Once Johnson is back on the apron, Bulldozer is met with a series of shoulder blocks to the gut. Johnson hits a kick from the top rope. Johnson goes for the pin and nearly gets it but Mayor Mystery puts Dozer’s boot on the bottom rope. Referee Smith calls off the pin. Jay Flash kicks Mayor Mystery off of the apron. Inside the ring, Johnson tries for offense but is fought off by Bulldozer. Dozer launches him up into the air, connects with a vicious forearm. Johnson folds up and Bulldozer gets the win.
KSWA Tag Team title match. Open Challenge
Edric Everhart gets the microphone and tells the Krazies that it’s been “a long night and we are leaving.” They go to leave but Owner Bobby O’s music hits and he appears out of thin air. Bobby grabs another microphone and says that the tag team champions are not leaving. Bobby O says that there are a lot of people who want shots at the tag team belts. Bobby O calls tonight’s opponents “Big and Bigger.” Everhart and Cross meet their opponents: Big Mike Malachi and Jack Massacre! The 660-pound duo club Tyler Cross as Edric Everhart bails to the outside. Malachi tags in Massacre and the giant delivers a huge blow to Cross’ midsection. Malachi is tagged in. Massacre pounds Cross in the belly. Malachi tosses Cross across the ring. There’s a two-count as Cross gets his foot on the rope. Malachi chases him around. Upon his return to the apron, Everhart grabs his foot. That’s enough for Cross to attack Malachi. He successfully keeps Malachi on the mat as he rolls to the corner. Everhart is tagged in and he continues to administer punishment to a fallen Malachi. As Malachi tries to get up, Everhart rakes his boot ropes across the veteran’s nose. Malachi sits up but Everhart knocks him down again. Cross is tagged in and he kicks Malachi down. Cross continues to do the smart thing and keep Malachi close to the match. This enables him to stay away from Malachi’s impressive strength. However, that can’t go on forever as Malachi gets up, albeit briefly. He is dropped down again. Cross keeps the former KSWA World Champ and Tag Team specialist in his own corner. Everhart is tagged in and he hop scotches his way across the ring to kick Malachi in the mush. Everhart continues to assail Malachi after forcing Massacre into the ring. Everhart continues to beat on Malachi. Everhart says that they will reign as Tag Team Champions forever. Everhart continues to beat on Malachi as he slowly gets to his feet. Malachi strikes his way up and drops the tag team champion down. Everhart drops Malachi out of nowhere. Cross comes in and the duo attacks Malachi. Cross goes after Massacre. They try to suplex Malachi but to a thunderous crash, he double suplexes them instead. A double clothesline is missed. Malachi gets to his corner and tags in Massacre to a huge explosion from the fans. He drops both wrestlers. Cross hits Massacre in the back but that doesn’t do anything but anger the big man. Everhart hits Massacre in the forehead with a tag team belt. Everhart goes for the pin, but at two, Massacre launches him across the ring. Massacre recovers and plants Everhart in the center of the ring and gets the win. The winners and NEW KSWA Tag Team Champions are Jack Massacre and Big Mike Malachi. The arena erupts in approval. It takes quite a while for the new champions to get back to the locker room as the requests for pictures from fans was enormous.
Thus ends KSWA Mayhem, 2014.