July 7, 2014
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
Ever since Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Hall of Famer Tommy Faime bought half of Pittsburgh’s Professional Wrestling organization, everyone in the promotion has been worried about what will happen next. The Verified Investment Partner has done his best to put Shawn Blanchard and Lou Martin in the cat bird’s seat, in addition, he’s made owner Bobby O look over his shoulder at every turn. The next page of the ownership melodrama took another turn at the Independence Day weekend at Arsenal Park.
Six Man Tag Team Action: The Mercenaries & J-Ru v Party Gras & Jack Massacre
Canada’s National Treasure, “Nasty” Nick Crane leads his team to the ring before Party Gras and Jack Massacre. Lord Zoltan dances with the large Lawrenceville Arsenal Park crowd. Zoltan gets the crowd clapping as J-Ru instigates the crowd. The crowd chants “USA, USA” repeatedly as Zoltan hooks a wrist lock on Sniper. Justin Sane is tagged in and he too goes to work on the Mercenary Jack Massacre is tagged in and the crowd goes berserk. He splashes Sniper in the corner and tags in Lord Zoltan. Party Gras rows the legs of both Nasty Nick and Sniper as Shawn Patrick is distracted by J-Ru. Sniper gets Justin Sane into his corner and Nasty Nick is tagged in. Justin’s head is rammed into Sniper’s boot and J-Ru is tagged in. He goes to pin Sane but his legs are on the middle ropes. Jack Massacre rushes in after he’s ambushed by J-Ru. Massacre is held at bay as the Mercenaries and J-Ru continue their onslaught on Sane. Crane gets Sane is a camel clutch. J-Ru is tagged in and he gouges at Sane. J-Ru pins Justin but only gets a two count. Justin is then stood up in the Mercenaries’ corner. Nasty Nick drops Sane and Sniper is tagged in. Sane is splashed in the corner by Sniper. Zoltan pulls Sniper off of Sane. Nick is tagged back in and he keeps Justin out of his corner. Sane is able to muscle J-Ru into his corner for a tag on Zoltan but Patrick never sees it so Justin is left back in. A big leg drop from Sniper is next. Sniper and Crane double clothesline Sane and keep him grounded. J-Ru is in next. He lays some forearms into Justin and then positions Sane on the top turnbuckle for a super plex. Sane fights him off and lands an elbow. Two count. Both Megastars connect on a clothesline. Justin tags in both Massacre and Zoltan. All six men are in the ring. Jack on Sniper, Zoltan on Crane, Justin on J-Ru. They clobber all three. Sniper and J-Ru are left in the center of the ring for Jack Massacre to sit on them for the 3 count and the win.
Blood Beast v. The Jester
The Blood Beast looks ready for The Jester, who was recently profiled in both the Wall Street Journal and Pittsburgh Post-Gazette newspapers. Beast body slams The Jester onto the black canvas. Jester shoulder bocks The Blood Beast several times, to no avail. Beast slams him down. Two count on Jester. The offense is still all Blood Beast as he bodyslams Jester down again for a two-count. There’s an elbow drop and two count. Blood Beast chokes Jester and referee Justin Smith admonishes him for the infraction. Jester stands up and kicks Blood Beast. A shoulder block knocks Jester down. Beast misses with an elbow and Jester, wearing red, white and blue tights, fights up. Three shoulder blocks later and Jester goes down. Jester kicks Blood Beast in the chin and the beast goes down. Jester goes up and hits the frog splash and scores the victory.
KSWA World Title Match: Starr v. Martin
It is discovered that Dr. Devastation Lou Martin has to wear his chicken suit match for the remainder of the 2014 KSWA Kampaign. The stipulation was part of last week’s Martin v. Zoltan match. Martin attacks Shane Starr from behind and keeps the KSWA World Champion down on the mat. There’s a leg drop on Starr and only gets two count. The Krazies are shouting “Chicken.” Starr rolls Martin up from behind for a two count. Martin splashes Starr, but not before flapping his wings, err arms. Martin keeps the offense, as Starr isn’t able to get any offense in. Starr returns with some action. There’s a suplex and two count. Martin goes back on the offense and bits at Starr’s forehead. Martin flaps his arms and drops a leg on Starr, who was on the apron. Starr falls outside and Martin continues the fowl behavior. Starr fights back and tosses Martin back in the ring. Two count on Martin. Martin gets up and side slams Starr. Martin drops an elbow and then climbs the top rope. He lands a big leg drop from the top rope. Martin climbs again but is met by Starr. There’s a superplex and Martin is down. Two count as Martin gets his shoulder up. Starr fights off the Death Certificate. Starr gets Martin into the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter and Martin taps out.
Interview: Bobby O, Gentleman Joe, and then Tommy Faime
KSWA Owner Bobby O and Kommissioner Gentleman Joe Perri make their way to the ring and welcome the crowd. They talk about what an honor it is to be in Lawrenceville once again for the Independence Day celebration. After those niceties, Tommy Faime comes out to run down the fans. He also insults Bobby O and Gentleman Joe. During the discourse, Faime shoves Perri, who falls back-first into Bobby O’s back. O turns around and socks Perri to the mat. Just last week, Faime jabbed Perri in the jaw and knocked him to the mat at the Teamster Temple. Bobby apologizes up and down while Perri regains his composure. Faime just chuckled his way to the locker room.
Blanchard v. Puniverse
Del Douglas accompanies Shawn Blanchard to the ring. Blanchard backs into a corner as the bell rings. Shawn Patrick checks both Megastars again as Blanchard may or may not be holding an illegal object in his position. The two lock up after about a minute of jostling. Blanchard and Atlas run the ropes. Atlas dives out and Blanchard keeps going until he passes out in the corner. Douglas encourages Blanchard to “take a breather.” Atlas goes for a Test of Strength, but tickles Blanchard instead. Douglas and Blanchard team for the old “pump the arm” trick on Atlas not once but twice. On the third try, Atlas puts Blanchard into the offensive position. Douglas shouts, “Sorry, Sorry,” once he realizes his error. Blanchard uses the illegal object he’s skillfully hid on his person, on Atlas’ throat. Blanchard gouges Atlas’ eyes. There’s a back elbow from Blanchard and a two count. Atlas gets the sleeper hold on Blanchard. Blanchard falls into Shawn Patrick. With the ref down, Douglas tosses a pair of brass knuckles that Blanchard plants into Atlas’ jaw. Just like that, the winner is “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard.
Del Douglas v. Kaida
Del comes to the ring, antagonizing as usual. The bell rings with Douglas going to work on Kaida. He hits with forearms and shoulder blocks. King keeps the rusty Kaida down. Douglas goes for a two count and then Kaida’s leg is draped over the bottom rope. Douglas gets Kaida in a sharpshooter but he can’t hold on. Kaida battles up and clubs Douglas down. There’s a huge bodyslam and then an arm submission move on Douglas. Kaida splashes Douglas in the corner. Kaida slams Douglas over the top and easy a relatively easy win against the veteran King.
Tyler Cross v. Kris Kash
Tyler Cross jaws with the crowd and the bell rings. In near record time, Kash pins Tyler Cross with a roll up. Cross immediately runs back and gets Tommy Faime. Cross claims that Kash cheated and the match was restarted. Kash drop kicks Cross to the outside. On the grass, Kash chops Cross. Cross picks up Kash and drops him on the apron. That enables Cross to get back in the ring. Cross is in control with an impressive standing suplex. A two count follows. Cross goes to work on Kash’s trapezius muscles. Kash rallies out and misses a clothesline but Cross drops him nevertheless. Cross punches Kash in the head with a right fist. Cross goes for a pin but only gets two. Kash is dumped over the top and onto the grass. Justin Smith counts to nine before Kash gets back in. Kash is posted in the corner. Cross goes for a splash but misses. Kash hits him with a move of his own. Both men are down for a seven count. Kash splashes on Cross from the corner. He goes for the whisper in the wind but Cross tosses him off. Cross posts Kash in the corner and tries to ready him for a super-plex. Kash battles out and drops Cross down. Kash to the top. A flip from the corner. He lands on Cross and gets the one, two, three and the win.
Thus ends the Independence Day event at Arsenal Park.