New Champs Crowned, “Old School” Zoltan Appears, Hacksaw Foils Nick’s “Treasure”

December 7, 2014
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

It’s not every day a sold-out crowd serenades “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan with a boisterous American National Anthem, but when they do, it’s at FanFest/Toy Drive. The moment came late in the match, where “Canada’s National Treasure,” Nick Crane was attempting to do away with the proud American. However, the long-time veteran fought out of a sleeper hold and plastered Montreal’s greatest export with a clothesline from a three-point-stance as “rocket’s red glare” reverberated throughout Pittsburgh. Another historic December classic is in the record books.

Grudge Match: Shawn Blanchard (w/Tommy Faime) v. Kris Kash (w/Bobby O)

This feud has been growing for months. It also took on a life of its own as the “Sharpsburg Screw Job” last month. It also encompassed the co-owners of the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance. Shawn Blanchard welcomed Tommy Faime in his corner while Kris Kash was seconded by Bobby O. As the bell rings, Kash is all over Blanchard. Blanchard falls to the outside, where Kash dives on him. The sold out crowd shouts in approval. Once back inside, Kash chops Blanchard. He drop kicks Blanchard to the mat. Blanchard, the veteran, comes back. Spinebuster from Blanchard. Blanchard follows that up with a near pinfall. Blanchard tosses Kash over the top rope. Perri is detained by Blanchard and Tommy Faime goes to work on Kash. There’s a knee drop on Kash. Blanchard gets Kash in a rear chin hold. Kash battles back, but Blanchard hits Kash low. There are a couple of punches to Kash’s stomach. Kash clotheslines Blanchard to the outside. The SRO crowd is at a fever pitch. Blanchard gets back into the ring and power bombs Kash to the mat. The fans scream “One More Time.” Blanchard drops him hard with a piledriver. A traditional count follows and Shawn Blanchard is your winner. Bobby O and Kash lick their wounds and go back to the locker room.

Sniper v. Bob Atlas

The participants are introduced and Bobby Atlas goes right after Sniper; however, the stronger Sniper simply rolls over the veteran Atlas. Sniper challenges Atlas to run the ropes. Atlas stops and allows the Mercenary to run them. Atlas dives in and drops Sniper to the mat. Sniper and Atlas trade offense. Sniper is in the corner for Atlas’ big time butt plant. The crowd moans. Atlas pounds on Sniper until the Johannesburg vet goes low. Soon it’s all Sniper on offense. Sniper yells at the crowd. Sniper suplexes Atlas for a two count. Atlas is down on all fours as Sniper kicks him in the gut. Then he rakes his boot over Atlas’ head. Atlas drops Sniper out of the blue. Sniper buries his knee in Atlas’ gut. Atlas is on one knee. The fans chant, “USA. USA.” Sniper gets Atlas on his shoulder and drives him into the mat. The winner is Sniper!

Fatal Four Way for the 5-Star Championship (Blood Beast v. Justin Sane v. Jester v. Bobby Badfingers (w/Mayor Mystery)

All four competitors are in the ring. Badfingers nearly refused to come out. He demanded to be recognized as the “Baddest Man in the KSWA.” Referee David Fedor has his hands full with this one. All four Megastars go after Badfingers as soon as the match begins. Then they spill Blood Beast out to the floor. Justin Sane gets back into the ring and dives on top of all of the Megastars. Justin tosses Badfingers back in and nearly gets the pin. Badfingers returns the favor and nearly pins Sane. Blood Beast and Jester battle on the outside. Beast rolls back in and Badfingers tosses Jester back in the ring. Blood Beast goes after Sane, Jester after Badfingers. Blood Beast nearly pins Justin. Badfingers nearly pins Justin. Jester breaks that up. The crowd cheers for Jester. Jester dives on Badfingers. Mayor Mystery prowls at Ringside. Beast hits Sane with an awkward clothesline. One count. Badfingers tosses Jester on Sane. Another one count. All four participants are spent. Blood Beast double choke slams Jester and Badfingers and nearly gets a three count on Badfingers. Jester pops Blood Beast. Blood Beast kicks Justin in the head as Badfingers and Jester are on the outside. The top turnbuckle is torn off. Mayor Mystery causes commotion at ringside. Badfingers gets a two count on Jester. There’s a leg drop from Blood Beast on Justin. Badfingers goes after Blood Beast. Justin plants Jester and then goes up top for a Frog Splash. He is met with a Badfinger’s spear. Jester kicks Blood Beast in the head and then goes up top to hit with his own splash. The winner and NEW 5-Star Champion is The Jester! An irate Badfingers goes after Jester but Jester kicks him in the mush to the crowd’s approval.

Legends Match: Lord Zoltan (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Honky Tonk Man

Out of nowhere, Mayor Mystery comes to the ring and teases a big announcement. A familiar theme hits and Mayor Mystery brings an “Old School” Lord Zoltan to the ring. Fans are both excited and terrified by the development of the dark, brooding and sinister Zoltan. Honky Tonk Man is introduced, comes to the ring and takes the microphone. He thanks the crowd for coming out and supporting the FanFest cause. Honky Tonk then dances and sings for the crowd. Zoltan returns to the ring and the crowd chants Honky Tonk’s name. Referee Shawn Patrick has a hard time getting things sorted out. The two long-time veterans feel each other out. “Let’s Go Honky” echoes throughout the hall. Zoltan simply will not get into the ring. Honky chases Zoltan around. “Here we go Honky” is loud and expressive. Zoltan gets into the rope. Shawn Patrick backs Honky up. With 1:45 already timed in the match, the combatants lock up. Honky backs Zoltan up into the corner and gives a clean break. “Honky! Honky!” again rises from the crowd. Zoltan tries to slow the match down even further. Zoltan leads a “Yes. No” chant with the crowd, who completely boos him. A test of strength between the two is next. Mayor Mystery sneaks in and pops HTM in the stomach. He retreats as Shawn Patrick allows it to happen. HTM battles back. Mystery tries it again but HTM is keen to his action. He stomps on Mystery’s hand. Then Zoltan’s. HTM gets Zoltan in an arm bar. Zoltan turns it around. He pounds on Honky’s arm. Honky tries to battle back. Honky battles up but Zoltan quickly knocks him back down. Mystery is up on the apron. Zoltan gets Honky into the corner, using wrist tape. Patrick leads Zoltan away but Mystery is there, attacking Honky. Zoltan goes back to work on Honky again. Patrick is distracted when Zoltan goes to work on HTM with the wrist tape. Zoltan distracts Patrick and Mystery goes to work on HTM again. Zoltan chokes Honky with the wrist tape again. Zoltan digs at Honky’s nose and face. He goes to work on Honky’s shoulders. He gets him into a rear chin lock. The fans cheer “Honky.” He battles back but Zoltan levels him again. HTM is in the corner. Zoltan misses with a splash. Zoltan goes to the outside. HTM follows. They battle on the floor. HTM goes after Mystery. Honky cowers in the corner. Mayor Mystery blasts Zoltan in the belly. HTM shake rattles and rolls Mayor Mystery and (somehow and inexplicably) pins the Mayor for the win! Zoltan, seeing Mystery pinned instead of him, tosses his manager out and through the ropes. Zoltan and Honky Tonk make up and leave friends once again. It was a peculiar ending to an exciting match.

Elimination Match for the Tag Team Championship (Double D’s, System Elite, Flash and Johnson v. Malachi & Massacre)

One half of the new “Double D’s” team, “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin and Jack Massacre start out. Lou wants a test of strength but Jack clothesline him instead. Massacre brings Martin in the hard way over the top rope. He bodyslams Martin and then tags in Malachi. There’s a big slam and a two count. Malachi slams Martin’s head into the corner and tags in Malachi. Jack tosses Martin into his own corner and Douglas is tagged in. There’s a tremendous clothesline from Massacre. Massacre drops Douglas. Two count as Martin breaks it up. Massacre tags in Tony Johnson, who kicks Douglas in the back. Johnson boots Douglas. Johnson bodyslams Douglas and tags in Flash. He gets a two count on Douglas. Johnson tags himself back in and he punches Douglas in the mush. There’s an upper cut from Johnson. Johnson buries a boot into Douglas and then double ax handles him. Johnson is attacked by Martin in his corner. Douglas is hit but the tag team champs. Two count on Douglas. He tags in Martin. The Double D’s go to work on Johnson. Tyler Cross puts a boot to Johnson. Douglas joins in. System Elite is chased away by Malachi. Martin goes on the offense and gets a two count on Johnson. Tyler Cross is tagged in at the 5-minute mark. He gets a two count on Johnson. The fans chant for Ice Man. Johnson goes to work on Cross by Tyler drop kicks his frequent foe. Edric Everhart is tagged in at the 6 minute mark. He’s the last of the combatants to enter the fray. System Elite goes to work on Johnson in their corner. There’s a snap suplex on Johnson. Two count on Johnson. Douglas grabs Johnson by the privates and knocks him down. Two count from Fedor on Johnson. Douglas tags in Martin. They go to work on Johnson again. There’s a clothesline on Johnson. Martin, chicken suit and all, pounds on Johnson and then gets him in a sleeper. Massacre is tagged in and he goes after Martin by handing him by one leg. Massacre spins him around and then drops him to the mat. Martin kicks away at Massacre. Martin tags in Douglas, who goes to work on Massacre. Douglas gets a one count on Massacre. Massacre stats to get up. He chops Douglas, who tags in Martin. Martin blasts Massacre with the bat. Johnson gets Martin from behind, splashes him on the mat and scores the victory. Johnson then brings in Everhart the hard way over the top rope. Johnson spills over the top rope but catches himself. He flips out of the way of an Everhart splash. Everhart flops onto Cross. Flash and Johnson jump on top of System Elite. The crowd chants, “That was Awesome!” Cross rolls back in. Flash clotheslines Cross from the top. Flash gets a two count on Cross. Flash misses a big flip. Flash is rolled over for a two count. Everhart snaps Flash over and gets him into a rear chin lock. Flash battles up. Cross goes after the champs. Everhart flips Flash into Massacre. Jack versus Johnson. They both go after Massacre. They cannot bring him down. Massacre is drop kicked by Johnson. Johnson scoops Everhart and spins him around. Flash has Cross. Johnson goes to kick him. Flash kicks Johnson!! Johnson and Everhart are down. Everhart pins Johnson. That leaves System Elite versus Malachi and Massacre. The System attempts to attack the champs. They refuse and slam the opponents to the mat. The winners and still KSWA Tag Team Champs: Malachi and Massacre!

Golden Triangle Championship: Bulldozer v. Kaida

Bulldozer set an Open Challenge after Sharpsburg’s show and Kaida accepted it. The bell rings and the giants face off. They punch each other around and Bulldozer falls to the outside and into the welcoming arms of Mayor Mystery. Kaida follows and they battle to the outside. The move a table and then get back into the ring. They battle about and Kaida goes over the top. Bulldozer jumps onto Kaida on the outside. The double count out begins. Bulldozer is back in. They continue to fight in and out of the ring. Bulldozer gets Kaida in a bear hug. Kaida battles back. They double clothesline one another in the center of the ring. Referee Justin Smith counts to eight before they battle up. Kaida falls into the ropes where Mystery is waiting. Kaida battles up and chops Bulldozer about. There’s a big splash from Kaida and then another. Bulldozer fights off and gets Kaida up on his shoulders. Kaida fights out of the move. Bulldozer clotheslines Kaida down. They wrestle on the ground. Kaida is on the mat. Bulldozer is up to the corner post. He’s going to fly. There’s a titanic elbow. Kaida, incredibly, kicks up at two! The crowd chants for Kaida. Bulldozer favors a knee. He drops a strap but Kaida gets him into a rear choke hold. Mystery is on the apron. Kaida faces Mystery. Mystery tosses Bulldozer the belt. He clubs Kaida in the back with it but that doesn’t stop Kaida who reapplies the rear choke hold. Bulldozer does dark and Justin Smith calls for the bell. The winner and NEW Golden Triangle Champion is Kaida!

Special Proclamation: “Nasty” Nick Crane officially becomes “Canada’s National Treasure.” The Honourable Liam Duchesne, Lieutenant Viceroy of Québec and representative of Her Majesty’s government, came all the way from Canada to present “Nasty” Nick Crane with his official declaration as “Canada’s National Treasure.” The gold-plated spectacular was interrupted by Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Duggan received his own proclamation earlier in the evening with the Allegheny County Civil Air Patrol made him an Honorary Member. They lead Duggan to the ring for this match and the crowd went berserk.

“Nick” Nick Crane vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

Hacksaw rallies the crowd. Nick immediately bails. The crowd is frantic. Crane won’t enter the ring. “Let’s Go, Tough Guy!” is Duggan’s exclamation. Crane is clotheslined. Several times. He bails to the outside. Crane climbs back in. Duggan blocks shots. He hits Crane down with one of his own. Crane is on the outside. Fedor counts to six before Crane gets back in. Crane goes on the offense and gets Hacksaw down. Crane chokes the American Icon. Crane gets a rear chin lock. He will not stay down. At one point, Crane gets Duggan in a sleeper hold, but Hacksaw powers out of it. The fans, who were shouting for Duggan all night, started to sing the National Anthem. Duggan battles up. There’s a Three Point Stance and he nails, then covers Crane and gets the win! The crowd goes insane.

KSWA World Heavyweight Championship: J-Ru v. Shane Starr

Referee Shawn Patrick sets both participants. The competitors face off. Patrick checks both Megastars. The bell rings. The wrestlers grapple on the mat until Shane Starr stands and pushes this challenger across the ring. They both get offense in. J-Ru bets behind Starr, then gets him into a headlock. J-Ru slaps on an arm bar. With the referee looking the other way, J-Ru bites Starr’s hand. J-Ru spins Starr down. There’s a rear chin lock. J-Ru keeps Starr grounded. Starr continues to try and battle up. He does eventually get up and in an exciting sequence; body presses J-Ru over his head. The challenger is tossed to the mat. The battle rages outside the ring. J-Ru takes this opportunity to get aggressive. He slaps Starr in the back. J-Ru is able to get Starr down for a pin attempt but that ends at two. J-Ru pulls Starr by the hair. There’s a one-count on a pin attempt. Starr battles up and attempts a Sharpshooter but J-Ru battles out of that predicament. The battle rages one-on-one for a few moments. Starr is able to get J-Ru into a corner for a series of 10 punches. Starr follows that with a suplex and a two-count from a cover-bridge. Starr follows that with a long, standing suplex. There’s a two count. The offense goes back and forth until Starr has J-Ru down. Starr lands a series of three leg drops on the challenger. J-Ru fights back the Megastars hit each other with a double clothesline. They are down for an extended period. J-Ru gets up and lands a pinning move on Starr but the champ kicks out at two. Starr gets up and fights back. The two trade chops. Somewhere along the line, Referee Shawn Patrick gets knocked down and out. Referee Justin Smith is in. He summarily gets dropped by J-Ru too. The fight continues. J-Ru is knocked down and Starr attempts the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter. Tommy Faime climbs into the ring and officiates as J-Ru passes out. Faime calls for the bell. The winner and still KSWA World Champion: Shane Starr. Starr wonders what happens as Faime goes about his business.

Thus ends another spectacular KSWA FanFest/Toy Drive.

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