Jay Flash Wins, Returning Skippy Hawke Nearly Runs The Battle Bowl VII Table

January 11, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

At FanFest in December, Jay Flash shocked his “Flash Addicts” by superkicking Tony Johnson nearly out of his boots. At New Year’s Knockout, the South Beach Soldier ripped the KSWA Krazies and delivered by winning the most eagerly-anticipated Battle Bowl in independent wrestling.

Another sold out crowd witnessed the shocking return of a KSWA trailblazer in Skippy Hawke. The first-ever KSWA Champion received an unbelievable reaction when he came out second in the over-the-top-rope extravaganza. He faced Shawn Blanchard, who was given the #1 spot in the Battle Bowl for injecting himself into a title match on March 28.

But before that, there was an evening of knock-down, drag-out action.

KSWA Tag Team Championship: Douglas and Martin v. Malachi and Massacre (champions)

The challengers hit the ring, followed by the Wall Street Cover Boys, “Big” Mike Malachi and the 7-foot-tall Jack Massacre. Massacre endeared himself to Douglas early on by putting on King Del Douglas’ crown. It was all “Big and Bigger” for most of the match, as they largest tag team in the history of the Commonwealth was all over the challengers, who among them are seven-time former KSWA tag team champions (but never together). At one point, Massacre has Douglas down on the mat and he taunts Martin by using his own “curb stomp” in front of him. Douglas is nearly out cold. The offense rages between the two teams. At another point, Massacre clubs Martin and head butts Douglas. Not to be outdone, the “Double D’s” did get an upper hand, where the King put the boots to Malachi. Martin is tagged in and he puts the boots to Malachi. Martin gets Malachi in the corner and he goes after the midsection. Martin goes for the bulldog into the corner, he climbs up the ropes and Malachi tosses Martin onto Douglas. Malachi pounds away on the King and then delivers a side slam. Douglas rebounds and goes for the pin. Malachi kicks out at two. Malachi tosses the King over his head and across the ring. Massacre is tagged in and soon all four men are in. Malachi drops Douglas and Massacre slams Martin. The winners and still KSWA tag team champions: Malachi and Massacre.

Shawn Blanchard (with Tommy Faime) v. Justin Sane

At the outset of the match it appears that Tommy Faime has handed something to Justin Sane. Referee Justin Smith checks Justin Sane time and again as Blanchard senses something is amiss. The Krazies are deafening as they know Shawn Blanchard has something. Sane has Blanchard on the mat and he grinds away with a head lock. Sane drops Blanchard’s arm over the top rope and then Sane flips Blanchard across the ring with an arm bar. Blanchard retaliates with a chop and a punch to Sane’s forehead. Faime goes to work on a vulnerable Sane as Blanchard successfully distracts the ref. A back elbow drops Sane. Blanchard follows that up with a knee to the forehead. Sane is tossed over the top rope, perhaps a foreshadowing of things to come. Blanchard sends a rumble through the crowd as he bodyslams Sane on the outside. Sane is rolled back in. Blanchard yells a familiar tune, “Nobody cares about you, Justin!” There’s a powerslam. Blanchard pulls him up at a one count. Blanchard keeps the offense on Sane. Blanchard calls for a powerbomb and goes for it, but Sane crawls over top and gets Blanchard down into a submission move. Blanchard uses his sizable strength advantage and stands up. Blanchard drops Sane from his shoulders onto the mat. Both Megastars are spent. Justin drops a leg on Blanchard’s neck. Sane crawls to the corner and tries to get himself up. Sane goes up for Shock Therapy frog splash. Blanchard gets his knees up and foils that frog splash. Blanchard hits Sane with a piledriver. At the 9 minute mark, Shawn Blanchard is your winner.

Blanchard and Faime stay in the ring. Bobby O and KSWA World Champion Shane Starr come out. Blanchard runs Starr down and announces that at the Joe Abby Tournament on March 28, the legendary leader of the Four Horsemen, James J. Dillon is set to return to the KSWA. Faime has also arranged for a Manager’s License and JJ Dillon will accompany Blanchard to the ring for his match. This is all contingent, of course, on Starr getting past Bulldozer later in the evening. Bobby O says that as an answer to Blanchard’s blatant disregard for the champion process, the former 5-time KSWA Champion will be the #1 entrant in the night’s Main Event Battle Bowl VII.

Five Star Championship: Tyler Cross v. The Jester (champion)

Tyler Cross comes to the ring to his pensive “Big Bad Wolf” persona and the response is eager. The crowd explodes for The Jester. Referee Shawn Patrick calls for the bell and the two lock up. The Jester shakes his expansive behind after grabbing Cross from behind. That freaks out Cross, who recoils in the corner. Jester gets Cross down and slithers over top of his foe. This elicits a cascade of groans. The Jester motor boats Cross next. Cross gets an unfortunate upper hand and puts his thumb on The Jester’s buttocks. Referee Patrick falls to the mat when Cross pushes it in his face. Jester grabs Cross’ wrist and drives the thumb into Cross’s face. Jester follows that up with a couple of clubbing forearms that sends Cross to the outside. Once back in, Cross gets some offense. Cross suplexes The Jester on the outside. It’s all Cross now as he keeps The Jester down. The Jester gets back up and drops Cross down. Cross rebounds, and gets The Jester down for a two count. The Krazies start chanting for The Jester. Cross drops Jester down for a two count. Shawn Patrick says it’s “Two and three-quarters.” Cross misses with a forearm-led splash but Jester can’t truly capitalize as Cross drops him to the mat. Jester catches Cross from the top rope. He clotheslines and then chops Cross a bunch of times. He clotheslines him down a couple of times. Jester misses with a kick. Cross drops him down and gets a 2 7/8th count. Cross prepares to knock Jester down. He kicks Cross and lands a T-bone suplex. Jester goes up for a splash. He lands it on Cross and retains the 5-Star Championship!

KSWA Golden Triangle Championship: Edric Everhart v. Kaida (champion

Referee David Fedor holds up the Golden Triangle Championship. The Krazies chant for the KSWA’s resident suplex machine. Everhart goes for a test-of-strength to the Afghani Powerhouse and then goes low. Kaida then blasts the former tag team champ. Everhart successfully avoids Kaida, but not for long as the Assault Weapon still possess a destructive edge. Kaida lands a series of high-intensity splashes. He only gets a one-count on the resilient youngster. Kaida goes for a shoulder clasp on Everhart. Everhart goes after Kaida’s knee and drops the Golden Triangle Champion. Everhart goes to work on the champ. Kaida is in serious pain as Everhart goes after Kaida’s knee. Everhart drapes Kaida’s knee over the middle rope. Fedor has him break it up. Everhart goes after the knee again. Kaida misses with a clothesline. Everhart drops him again. Everhart, who is at least 50 pounds lighter than Kaida, has had remarkable success keeping the multi-time champion down on the mat. Fedor slaps the mat twice on three different occasions. Kaida is up, momentarily, until Everhart goes for the left knee a third time. Kaida reverses a whip and Everhart catches him with a boot. Everhart is poised for a DDT from the middle rope but Kaida still pushes off. A short-arm clothesline leads to a suplex. The fans cheer for another. Everhart goes for the knee and that leads to an explosion of boos. Kaida suplexes Everhart out of the blue and hits him with a powerbomb that sends the opponent flying into the air. The winner and still KSWA Golden Triangle Champion: Kaida! Jay Flash is welcomed to the ring. He is asked about kicking Tony Johnson in the face at FanFest, and Flash grabs the microphone to admonish the Krazies for “no caring” about him when his ankle was broken in April of last year. He asked who in the KSWA could defeat him and the Krazies responded loudly with “Ice Man.” That just irritated Flash, who called Johnson a “robot.” Flash said that he would rule supreme in Battle Bowl.

KSWA World Heavyweight Championship: Bulldozer v. Shane Starr (champion)

Tommy Faime suddenly charges ring and changes the match to have Blood Beast face Shane Starr instead of the previously-announced Bulldozer. “I need to protect my investment,” Faime said about Starr. Faime chose to have the multi-time, yet slumping Blood Beast challenge for the KSWA title instead of the recent Golden Triangle Champion Bulldozer. The bell rings and the two Megastars circle each other. Blood Beast tosses Shane Starr down. He gets up and claps in appreciation of the move. Blood Beast attacks Starr in the corner. Blood Beast distracts referee Justin Smith enough to land a clothesline and big punch. With Starr down, Beast puts his shin on Starr’s throat. It’s all Blood Beast at his point. Then, out of nowhere, Starr kicks Beast with a big drop kick. A couple of leg drops lead to a third from the middle rope. He gets a two count from the ref. Blood Beast kicks Starr in the head. That falls the KSWA World Champion. There’s a huge forearm from Beast. Blood Beast smashes Starr’s head into the top turnbuckle. Beast picks Starr up and lands a power bomb. Two count. Beast kicks Starr in the shin. Beast chokes Starr in the corner. Beast goes for a kick but Starr gets the boots up instead. Starr drives Beast down and gets only a one-count. Starr goes after Blood Beast’s left knee to set up the Sharpshooter. Beast blasts him in the head. Beast goes low with a shot. Beast gets Starr into a rear chin lock. Starr gets to his feet and breaks the hold. Blood Beast levels Starr with a clothesline. Blood Beast goes for the Sharpshooter and sinks it in. Beast cannot get low enough to get maximum effect. Starr gets to the bottom rope. Blood Beast goes for a pin but Starr remains in the ropes. Blood Beast goes to choke slam Starr but he breaks it. Starr goes for the legs. He takes Beast down and gets him into the Sharpshooter. Referee Smith checks on the giant who eventually succumbs to the hold at the 9:30 mark.

Battle Bowl VII

“The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard is set to face Skippy Hawke from the outset. The fans go ecstatic. Hawke and Blanchard, who are old enemies, go at it. After two minutes, La Lucha is in. Del Douglas is next. Then about 90 seconds later, Tyler Cross. No one has been eliminated. It’s two on three with Blanchard, Douglas and Cross v. Hawke and La Lucha. Blanchard and La Lucha go at it. The Blood Beast. La Lucha is the first to be eliminated. Beast and Hawke stare each other down. Jack Massacre is next as this evens up the score just a little bit. He goes to work on Douglas. Mayor Mystery is next! He tries to avoid the ring but the referees shuffle him in. Jack Massacre immediately tosses him over the top rope. Del Douglas has been eliminated as Nick Crane was announced. The fans chant USA. Skippy Hawke is remarkably still in the ring. Jay Flash is the 10th Megastar in. There’s a definite lull in the action. El Skeletorious is next! He goes right after Tyler Cross. Jay Flash goes after him. Joey Quervo is next. Quervo stuns Nasty Nick Crane and goes after Blanchard but runs into a buzz saw instead. Joey Quervo is eliminated. Kris Kash is next and Blanchard goes right after him. Bulldozer is next. He goes into the ring and right after everyone, including Flash. Bulldozer sends him in the hard way. Big Mike Malachi is next. Blanchard is the next one eliminated. Blood Beast has been eliminated. Biker Al is next. The Ice Man is next and he goes right after Jay Flash with a series of vicious rights and lefts. The other Megastars stay out of the way. Tommy Faime is next. Johnson is still going after Flash. Justin Sane rips out next. Nasty Nick Crane is next. At #20, its Bobby O. Faime is eliminated. Faime grabs the microphone and says that since he has to participate in this dangerous event, so should every other staffer. He sends Trapper Tom to the ring. KSWA Kommissioner “Gentleman” Joe Perri sent in at #22. Bulldozer is eliminated. The returning and slimmed-down Ric Rumsky is out next. Lou Martin is next and then Lord Zoltan. Trapper Tom is eliminated. Malachi, embracing the “Every Man for Himself” mantra, tosses out his own tag team partner…Jack Massacre. Malachi is immediately dumped as well. The mysterious blue Thunder is out from the curtain next but he doesn’t last long until he is eliminated. The 5-Star Champion Jester is the next Megastar out. Edric Everhart is the next combatant to the ring. The three refs—Shawn Patrick, Justin Smith and David Fedor run in together. They all get immediately sent right back out and over the top rope. Sniper is introduced as the next to the last entrant. And then, the final Megastar on the scene is the Golden Triangle Champion: Kaida is out! A record-shattering 33 Megastars were entered into Battle Bowl. Jester was eliminated. Left in the ring is Kaida, Hawke, Martin, Everhart, Sane, Zoltan, Sniper and Flash. Hawke, who last appeared in 2004, bodyslamed Kaida. Kaida was then tossed over the top rope and eliminated. Sniper didn’t have a fanciful night and was eliminated. The final six are Everhart, Flash, Hawke, Martin, Zoltan and Sane. Martin eliminates Zoltan. Hawke side-slams Flash. The Krazies explode. Everhart goes for a move but Hawke eliminates him instead. That leaves the Final Four: Jay Flash, Lou Martin, Justin Sane and Skippy Hawke. Martin and Flash confab against Sane and Hawke. The fans chant for Hawke. Flash and Martin attack Hawke. Martin eliminates Hawke and the Krazies are not wild about that. Sane eliminates Martin. That leaves Justin Sane and Jay Flash. The two finalists battle before Flash eliminates Sane. Jay Flash is the Ultimate winner of Battle Bowl VII!

Thus concludes New Year’s Knockout. The KSWA returns to action on February 21 at the Teamster Temple in Lawrenceville.

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