Intensity Defines Flash/Johnson Mega-Match, Big & Bigger Undo “Deeds,” Blanchard Stomps Out Two Challengers
May 3, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
After a dynamic, 22-minute match for the ages, long-time referee Shawn Patrick was extolling the virtues of the wrestling of Jay Flash and Tony Johnson on Saturday, May 2. The showdown between two long-time friends, who are now bitter rivals, is already on the short list of best moments in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance’s next 15 years. “The intensity of that match was unbelievable,” said Patrick after the Main Event. Some Krazies called it the "Match of the Year."
There were also other fabulous matches on the night, including a hard-hitting contest for the richest Tag Team prize in the Commonwealth, and not one, but two title defenses for Shawn Blanchard.
Del Douglas and Harley T. Morris v. Justin Sane and Kris Kash
Del Douglas and Harley T. Morris face off against Kris Kash and Justin Sane. Douglas and Kash, long-time enemies, go after each other as soon as Shawn Patrick calls for the bell. Douglas hits Kash with overhand chops and then Kash returns those and follows up with a drop kick. Douglas is in the corner for a tilt a whirl drop kick and Patrick slaps the mat twice. Justin Sane is in and he hits Douglas with a suplex. There’s a one count and then Justin hits a leg drop on Douglas. Sane goes for a wrist lock and turns it over. Sane goes to the apron and drops Douglas’ arm over the top rope. Kash is back in and they double clothesline Douglas. Kash hits a leg drop and gets only a two count. Kash argues the call and tags in Sane. Sane kicks Douglas in the gut. Three minutes and Morris is finally tagged in. Morris clotheslines Sane, who was preoccupied with the ref. Patrick counts to four as Morris uses the ropes against Sane. Then Marbell goes after Sane as Morris distracts the ref. Douglas is in and he grabs Sane by the stones. He chops Justin down and gets a two count. Morris is tagged in and he kicks Sane. Kash shouts for Sane to kick out of the pin attempt and he does. Morris tosses Sane to the apron. There’s a swinging DDT and a pin attempt. Sane somehow kicks out. Morris springboards out of the ropes and hits Sane with a forearm. There’s a two and three quarter count. Douglas is back in and he goes for the Royal Sharpshooter. He synchs it in but Justin isn’t about to give up. Patrick asks Justin if he wants to give up and he doesn’t. Morris is tagged in and he drops a big elbow on Sane. Douglas pulls Justin’s trunks down and that gets Kash riled up. Patrick gets Kash under control and the action continues. Justin gets the upper hand on Morris and lands an impressive suplex. Justin gets to Kash. Kash goes after both Megastars with clotheslines. There’s a double suplex on Douglas. Justin battles Morris and there’s a double boot on Morris. Morris is down in the center of the ring and Marbell distracts Sane. Leg drop on Morris from Sane. Sane goes to the corner but Kash dives off of another turnbuckle and scores the pinfall on Morris. Marbell, Douglas and Morris argue as they go back to the ring.
5-Star Championship: Triple Threat Match with Cross, Rumsky and Jester (champion)
Tyler Cross is followed by Ric Rumsky and then the 5-Star Champion, The Jester. Cross gets into Rumsky’s face right off the bat so Jester knocks him to the floor. Jester and Rumsky seem to prepare for a serious face-off before the always quirky Ohio Valley Pepperpot tickles Jester in the ribs. That gets the crowd into it. The two face off again as they lock up. Jester slaps Rumsky and the two go toe to toe. Rumsky drops Jester to the mat as Cross slowly crawls back into the ring. Jester tosses Rumsky into Cross who slams him to the canvas. Cross then drops Jester, who gets up at the one count. Cross lands an elbow into Jester, who again kicks up at one. Rumsky is still lying on the apron as Cross chops away at the 5-Star Champion. Jester is in the corner for a back elbow. He is dropped to the mat and Cross kicks Rumsky to the floor. Jester kicks out at two on that one. Cross gets Jester in a rear chin lock. That gets Jester kicking his boot to the mat. The crowd perks up. Cross misses with a clothesline. Jester grabs him from behind. Rumsky jumps from the top turnbuckle and drops both Megastars with a great move. Jester kicks up at two. Jester hits Rumsky with a couple of chops. There’s a back elbow on Rumsky, who is catapulted across the ring and into Cross with the double knee. Jester flips Rumsky over his head. Jester calls for the top rope. He climbs as Cross gets up from the other side. Rumsky is down. Cross meets Jester on the top rope with a big elbow. Cross grabs the ring wrench and then the ring bell. Smith stops him both times. Cross then picks up the deadliest of weapons: a small bag of Cheetos snacks. Rumsky kicks Cross in the chin. Cheetos fly everywhere. Jester hits a modified stunner on Rumsky and gets a two count. Cross drops Jester in the center of the ring. Cross misses Rumsky with a kick. Jester has both Megastars down. Jester hits a perfect frog splash from the top rope and retains the championship by pinning Cross.
Lord Zoltan v. Doink the Clown
This match is to be another of historic proportions, as the legends have faced each other many times, but never one-on-one in a KSWA ring. Shawn Patrick checks both participants. Doink tickles Shawn Patrick. Zoltan calls for the Chicken Dance. That’s a ditty the two have wrestled to countless times over the decades. They don’t get the music. The two attempt to lock up but the Mercenaries and Mayor Mystery rush the ring and break everything up with an ambush. Mayor Mystery grabs the microphone and complains about the two wrestling legends. Kommissioner Joe Perri emerges from the locker room puts an end to the monkey business. He seizes the opportunity and calls for a tag team match with Zoltan and Doink facing “Nasty” Nick Crane and Sniper. Perri says the Mercenaries will be “fired” otherwise. Zoltan and Doink chose a corner and then change their mind. They make the Mercenaries go all the way around the ring. Doink and Sniper lock up nearly three minutes after the match officially started. Sniper misses with a big right hand. Sniper stomps up and down and argues with Patrick as Doink conserves his energy. The two run the ropes until Doink stops Sniper and floors him with one punch. They lock up again as Zoltan cheers from the apron. They run the ropes again. Sniper stops, tries to trick Doink but ends up getting punched in the mush instead. Crane is tagged in and Zoltan goes right after the right arm. Zoltan gets the crowd to count with him as he pump handles Nick’s arm 10 times. The crowd urges Zoltan for more shenanigans. Zoltan and Doink get both Mercenaries down and they row, row, row the boat on the duo. With Crane on the mat, Zoltan tags in Doink. Patrick counts to two as Crane barely gets up from the Doink cover. Sniper is in and he goes for Doink’s arm. Mayor Mystery gets to the apron. He helps Sniper with the pump handle on Doink’s arm. Then a second time. When he goes for it a 3rd time, it’s Sniper instead of the crafty Doink. The Mercenaries bail out. Doink goes after them with a bucket. They cower. He whips a bucket of confetti after them and the crowd goes wild. Crane gets an upper hand on Doink and rolls him back inside. There’s a pin attempt but Doink is in the ropes. Mayor Mystery goes after Doink with a cane to the midsection. Sniper attacks Doink. Doink hits the stunner. Then hits the 5-Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the pin but Crane pulls him off. The Mercenaries attack together. Doink hits them with a double clothesline. Both are down. Doink is on his knees. Doink gets to Zoltan and he’s in with a series of lefts on both. Then a double noggin knocker. Mayor Mystery is in the center of the ring and he is met with a Mercenaries sandwich. With all three Mercenaries down, they are piled up and pinned. Zoltan and Doink are your winners! The match ended up being a very entertaining contest between four experienced competitors.
Street Fight for the KSWA World Title: Starr v. Blanchard (champion)
Starr brings a garbage can full of weapons, including a keyboard, toilet seat, chain and license plates. He attacks Blanchard and the bell rings. Blanchard is down on the mat immediately and unlike any match in KSWA history. Starr hits Blanchard with the garbage can lid. That doesn’t do much. Blanchard gets up and clobbers Starr with a baking tin. There’s a crutch that Blanchard picks up and wallops Starr with between the legs. There’s a two count from referee Smith. Blanchard gets to one knee as Starr is slow getting up. Starr is tossed to the floor outside. Blanchard follows. This is No DQ so Blanchard finds a ladder under the ring. Starr is tossed back in. Blanchard posts the ladder in the corner and is about to toss Starr into it. Starr reverses the move Blanchard goes in hard. Starr picks up the ladder and peppers Blanchard in the gut with it. He hits Blanchard with it again. Starr sets the ladder up in the corner and Blanchard rolls to the outside. Blanchard is walloped again. After a few moments, Blanchard gets up and hits Starr with something. They go to the bar area of the Teamster Temple. There’s a back body drop on Blanchard on the outside. Starr goes for a pin and only gets two. Starr punches Blanchard repeatedly and drops him. There’s another two count and then another two count. Blanchard blasts Starr in the forehead with a can of cola. Blanchard, who displays remarkable recovery when he holds the KSWA strap, rushes Starr into the ring post. Blanchard puts the toilet seat around Starr’s head and slaps him. Starr is rolled back in the ring and Blanchard finds a table under the ring. Blanchard pounds Starr in the head with a steel chair. Blanchard posts the table in the corner. Blanchard is whipped into the corner, he flips over the top turnbuckle and is met with Starr’s clothesline. Blanchard is on the outside and Starr, who recovers equally as well, follows with vicious shots from a baking pan. The action is hard hitting on the outside. Blanchard kicks up at two. Starr rolls back in and goes for the garbage can. Starr puts it on Blanchard’s head and follows that with a shot from the crutch. Starr gets the crowd into it. Starr sets up the table. Blanchard is on his knees on the outside. Starr helps him to his feet. Blanchard rakes Starr’s eyes before he can go through the table. Blanchard tries to put Starr through the table but the former champ fights it off. Starr gets a chain and clobbers him with it. Blanchard counters but grabbing Starr and powerbombing him through the table. Blanchard covers Starr and gets the win.
KSWA Heavyweight Title: Justin Sane v. Shawn Blanchard (champion)
Just as the crew was cleaning the ring from the broken table, Justin Sane rushes the ring and attacks Blanchard. He immediately pulls a contract out of his trousers and cashes in his Battle Bowl contract. Blanchard stands up and meets that challenge with a spinebuster and piledriver. He powerbombs Justin into the garbage can and picks up the win. The winner with two successful title defenses is Shawn Blanchard!
Lou Martin v. Kaida (GT Championship)
Martin paces as Kaida makes his way to the ring. Once inside, Kaida chases Martin to the outside. Patrick holds up the belt and shows it to the crowd. He then calls for the bell. Kaida rushes Martin and chases him into the ropes. The Krazies shout, “Garbage Pants,” and old refrain that has regained some momentum. Kaida goes after Martin and once again he finds solace in the second rope. Patrick tries to gain control of what seems to be a wild start to the match. Martin, who is outweighed by nearly 100 pounds, continues to run into the ropes. Martin uses that stealth ability to rush around the ring and have Kaida chase him. Once back inside, Martin is able to stomp and kick Kaida. Martin taunts the crowd and then goes back on the offense. Kaida is punched and forced into the ropes. Martin lands a leg on the big Golden Triangle Champion. Martin pushes Kaida into the center of the ring and follows with a big leg drop. Two count. Martin has Kaida on his knees. Martin pulls Kaida’s beard and uses it against the champion. Kaida, out of nowhere, catches Martin with an over the top slam. Kaida picks Martin up on his shoulders but Martin is able to battle his way into the ropes. Kaida pulls him out and drops him to the mat hard. Kaida goes for the pin but Martin is repeatedly in the ropes. Kaida suplexes Martin over the top. Two count. The Krazies shout for another suplex and Kaida obliges with two more. Martin tries to get help from ringside but finds his black bat instead. He rams Kaida with it and then gets Kaida in the corner. There’s a series of shoulder blocks but Kaida catches him and suplexes Martin out of nowhere. Martin gets up and goes after the Afghani Assault Weapon. Martin uses the ropes to blast Kaida in the throat. Kaida goes down. Martin follows with a kick to the midsection. Martin goes for a move from the top rope but Kaida catches him. There’s a two count as Martin is once again in the ropes. Kaida chokes Martin until Patrick breaks it up. Martin gets up and goes for a move but Kaida catches him and nails a vicious suplex and scores the victory.
J-Ru and Bobby Badfingers (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Malachi and Massacre (champions)
Introductions are made and Malachi spears J-Ru and Badfingers, who are in the ring, distracted by Massacre on the outside. The bell rings and it takes to seven before either challenger gets to the apron. Referee Justin Smith once again counts both men, who finally get to the apron again at six. Mayor Mystery distracts them a third time and they play mind games as Malachi pounces in the center of the ring. From the outside, Badfingers calls for Massacre, who obliges by stepping over the top rope. Its two minutes after the bell rings before Badfingers makes it inside. Badfingers goes after Massacre with punches, but Jack flattens him with a head butt. Badfingers goes for shoulder blocks but is knocked to the mat. Massacre continues this several times before tagging in Malachi. Malachi kicks, and then chokes Badfingers. Smith breaks it up momentarily until J-Ru rushes in and Malachi flattens the Instigator. Malachi bodyslams Badfingers in the center of the canvas and then tags in Massacre. Jack flattens Badfingers with a punch. Badfingers’ shoulder is up at two. J-Ru instigates from the outside until Massacre tosses Badfingers into J-Ru. J-Ru comes in goes after the 7-foot giant. Massacre gets J-Ru to the mat and goes for pins via wrist lock. J-Ru bridges out and battles out and tags in Badfingers. Malachi is back in and suplexes Badfingers. There’s a two count as Malachi just places his boot on the fallen Badfingers. Massacre wants to try his hand at a leg drop. He lands a big one on Badfingers and threatens to go for a second, but Mayor Mystery catches his leg from the outside. Badfingers suddenly and abruptly springs to life and attacks Massacre. With the ref distracted, J-Ru and Mayor Mystery do a job on Massacre. Malachi tries in vain to get past Smith. Smith gets in the middle of a Malachi and Badfingers scrum. J-Ru and Mystery continue to do a number on Massacre. They have Massacre tied up in the middle rope. J-Ru goes after Malachi again and that does little than distract Smith from impending doom for Massacre and his knees. They wrap Massacre around the ring post. Badfingers goes to work on Massacre. Massacre slaps a big claw on Badfingers and then J-Ru who rushes in. J-Ru goes for a Figure Four on Massacre but he kicks out of it. J-Ru continues to pounce on Massacre, who is in the corner, but Massacre somehow comes out with a drop kick on J-Ru. J-Ru fights Massacre away from Malachi. A tag is made but Smith doesn’t see it. Malachi is attacked by J-Ru during the confusion. Badfingers continues to kick at Massacre and J-Ru goes for his knees. Massacre makes it to his corner and tags in Malachi who cleans out both Megastastars. He hits Malachi Crunches on both. Mayor Mystery gets in the ring and clobbers Massacre with his cane. That’s enough for Smith to call for the bell. The winners and still tag team champs, by DQ, Big Mike Malachi and Jack Massacre. After the match is called, Malachi hits a Malachi Crunch on Mayor Mystery.
Jay Flash v. Tony Johnson
Jay Flash is accompanied to the ring, surprisingly, by Tommy Faime. Jay Flash won the Joe Abby Memorial Match on March 28 for “Team Faime.” Bobby O comes the ring and chastises Faime to coming to the ring. Bobby O tells Faime to vamoose and he does. Meanwhile the bell rings and Ice Man Johnson goes after Flash right away. He gets Flash to the mat. Flash follows and gets Johnson down for a one count. The Krazies applaud that series of moves. The former friends lock up again and Johnson gets Flash from behind. Flash counters and the two mat wrestle. Johnson flips over Flash and the South Beach Soldier skid dales to the corner. Johnson goes after Flash but he avoids the onslaught and bails to the outside. Johnson pulls him out. The two Megastars chase one another around the confines of the Teamster Temple. Johnson drops Flash near the bar area. Referee Patrick warns the combatants. They race back inside and Johnson meets Flash with a forearm. Johnson tosses Flash over the top rope but Flash doesn’t fall to the outside, just the apron. Flash wipes out Johnson with a spinebuster. Flash goes for a cannon ball but Johnson flips up to his feet. Johnson chases Flash in the corner. Flash drives both boots into Johnson’s chest and gets a two count. The Krazies chant, “That was awesome!” Flash gets Johnson on the mat. Flash goes after Johnson’s ribs. Flash drops Johnson with a neckbreaker. There’s a two count. Patrick continues to go for pinfalls from both combatants. Flash goes after Johnson arm and drives him to the mat. Flash asks Patrick if Johnson submits. Johnson refuses to submit. Flash moves to a leg scissors that clamp onto Johnson. Johnson tries to battle out. With unearthly strength, Johnson powers out of the move and tries to suplex Flash. Flash gets out of it and powerbombs Johnson. Flash goes for another pin on Johnson and Ice Man kicks out at two. Flash gets Johnson from behind. Johnson flips out of the move and back into Flash’s arms. Flash suplexes him into the corner. Flash kicks Johnson twice in the chin. “Ice Man Cometh” is the Krazies’ chant after he bodyslams Flash out of nowhere. That’s not enough to keep Flash down. Flash keeps Johnson on his knees. Flash picks him up and Flash tries to bounce off the ropes. Flash is always there with a counter and knees. Flash kicks Johnson in the mush. Johnson spins around and clips Flash in the jaw. Flash German Suplexes Johnson and gets a two count. Flash’s knee bad comes undone and referee Patrick helps. It’s all a ruse as Flash doesn’t need the support. He goes after Johnson. The two weary combatants continue on after the 15 minute mark. Johnson snap suplexes Flash down and Johnson dares Flash to come after him. Flash chops at Johnson, who doesn’t give until after about the tenth slap. Incredibly, Johnson springboards himself into Flash and kicks him flush in the head. Patrick counts to nine until they both jump up. Johnson catches Flash and hits him with a side suplex. Two count by Patrick. They continue on until Flash hits Johnson and visa versa, with big moves. There’s a drop kick that floors Johnson. Flash crows to the crowd and Johnson tries to roll him up. Two count. Flash is down. Johnson goes to the top rope. Johnson misses with a Cannon Ball. Flash hits a drop kick. Two and a half count is registered by Patrick. Flash gets Johnson down. Two count. Johnson gets an ankle lock on Flash. Flash is in the center of the ring and Johnson locks it in harder. Flash challenges Johnson to break the surgically-repaired ankle. Johnson finally tires and relents. Johnson is up in the corner as Flash cackles like a lunatic. Johnson goes for a super kick but Patrick gets in the way. Flash pushes Patrick aside and kicks Johnson in the chin and gets the win after a 22 minute, exciting finish.
The event ends with an incredible buzz from the fans regarding an electric card and one of the most intense Main Events in KSWA history.