Massacre Survives Badfingers In Street Fight, Starr Earns Return Shot, La Lucha Is Victorious In Tidioute

May 18, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

The “Baddest Man in the KSWA” kicked out of a piledriver on a chair during his Tidioute Street Fight with Jack Massacre on May 16, but ultimately couldn’t survive a merciless onslaught from the 7-feet-tall Jack Massacre. KSWA Owner Tommy Faime tried to put a road block for Shane Starr to stay in the Championship hunt, but it was not unsurmountable. Plus, a KSWA hero returned with new gold and held off an old rival.

Del Douglas (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Mexican Heavyweight Champion La Lucha

Most KSWA observers knew that La Lucha’s “retirement,” would not be permanent. In fact, “The Mayor of Mexico City” has made a few, surprise appearances over the years. In his home country, he won the prestigious “Mexican Heavyweight Championship.” He brought the gold to Tidioute and immediately drew the ire of Mayor Mystery and “King” Del Douglas. Once in the ring, Mayor Mystery calls the residents of Tidioute “Idiots.” King says, “I got this.” La Lucha gets the crowd chanting the “Dairy Queen” and “Burger King” chants. The two lock up before Mayor Mystery urges the two to lock up in a Test of Strength. Mystery slides under King’s legs and hits La Lucha in the bread basket. They go at it again. This time, La Lucha gets him down. Mystery goes for the move again but La Lucha kicks Mystery in the face and that drives Mystery into Del’s privates. La Lucha takes control. The Mexican Heavyweight Champion has Del in the ropes and then the corner. La Lucha splashes Douglas and gets him down. Referee David Fedor says Douglas kicked out at two. La Lucha pulls Douglas’ legs apart and hits him in the midsection (or lower). Mystery tries to get the crowd after Douglas, but they chant Dairy Queen instead. La Lucha splashes Douglas from the middle ropes, and then goes for a third but is met with Mayor Mystery’s cane instead. La Lucha is tied in the Royal Tree of Woe and Douglas drop kicks him in the midsection. Both Megastars are hurt at this juncture. Fedor argues with Douglas, all the while Mystery attacks La Lucha in the corner. Douglas has La Lucha in a Royal Sharpshooter but he eventually breaks it. Douglas has La Lucha’s arm on the top rope where Mystery meets it for a pump handle. Fedor is distracted. Douglas distracts him again. Mystery pump handles the Champ again. Now, Mystery is pump handing Douglas. La Lucha goes to the outside to laugh at the shenanigans. La Lucha is back in. He works on Douglas’ arm more. Douglas shouts for a disqualification, but that doesn’t work. Douglas is down and La Lucha drives an elbow from the middle rope. Now La Lucha gets Douglas in the Mexican Clutch. Mystery tries from the outside but Fedor kicks him away. La Lucha climbs to the top for a cross body block. There’s a two count from Fedor. La Lucha stands Douglas up and slaps him in the mush. La Lucha, who looks sharp in this match, gets hit with the Drop It Like It’s Hot. La Lucha kicks up at two. La Lucha drops Douglas and sets him up for a kick. Mayor Mystery is in and interferes. La Lucha grabs Mystery and drives his head into Douglas’ middle and La Lucha retains the Mexican Championship!

KSWA Owner Tommy Faime in the ring

KSWA Owner Tommy Faime led KSWA World Heavyweight Champion Shawn Blanchard to the ring Faime said that Starr lost his position as the #1 Contender for the Keystone State’s most prestigious title when he was distinctively defeated by Shawn Blanchard on May 2 in a brutal Street Fight. Faime summarily cancels Starr’s title shot in Tidioute and gives it to Kris Kash. That match starts next.

KSWA World Title Match: Kris Kash v. Shawn Blanchard (champion)

The bell rings and the fans at ringside loudly believe that Blanchard is hiding something. Referee Dave Fedor looks for it but the skilled and savvy Blanchard may or may not have something. Faime goes after fans at ringside. After two minutes of fiddling around, the Megastars lock up. Blanchard tosses Kash across the mat. Kash says that Blanchard pulled his hair. Kash gets up and goes after Blanchard’s arm. Kash rakes Blanchard’s arm over the top rope and Kash dives to the outside. The two battle until they are both on the outside. Kash dives from the ropes onto Blanchard. Once inside, Blanchard goes after Kash and batters him in the corner. Faime distracts referee Fedor. Blanchard takes that opportunity to go after Kash in the center of the ring. Blanchard digs and gouges at Kash’s face. Blanchard has him down. Blanchard gets a one count. Once back up, Blanchard tosses Kash from the ring onto the hardwood floor below. That’s where Tommy Faime grabs him. Faime slams Kash into the ring post and tosses him back in. Kash kicks out at two. Kash is in the corner and the two trade chops. Blanchard falls face-first on the mat. The fans in attendance are very excited. Blanchard bodyslams Kash to the floor on the outside. Faime distracts the referee and Blanchard uses illegal tactics on Kash on the other side of the ring. Blanchard picks up Kash and kicks him in the nether regions. Kash rallies and drop kicks Blanchard not once but twice. There’s a two and three quarters count. Kash drops a leg on Blanchard’s midsection. Blanchard is down and there’s an awkward two and three quarters count as Blanchard got his leg on the bottom rope. Kash gets Blanchard up in the corner for a series of punches, but it’s not enough to truly phase Blanchard, who powerbombs Kash and then follows that up with a piledriver. Shawn Blanchard picks up the win and retains the KSWA gold.

J-Ru (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Justin Sane

Mayor Mystery and J-Ru continue their anti-Tidioute tirade. Referee Justin Smith calls for the bell. J-Ru’s antics continue for about another minute before the two lock up. J-Ru uses a variety of chain-wrestling moves and then Justin Sane repeats them on his opponent. Sane has a wrist lock on J-Ru. Sane goes to the apron and has J-Ru’s arm in toe. Justin jumps to the floor and then jumps back in and grab’s J-Ru’s arm again. Justin walks across the top rope and dives on J-Ru. The Charleroi bandit is chased to the outside. He tries to regroup with Mayor Mystery at his side. Referee Smith nearly counts him out but Justin dives on J-Ru to essentially break up the count. Justin Sane chases Mayor Mystery on the outside. Mystery dives back in and Justin is met with a clothesline and a two count. J-Ru grabs Justin and slams him in the middle of the ring. There’s a two count. Justin is then draped on the bottom rope and hits him in the bottom. Mayor Mystery distracts the referee again and that’s enough for J-Ru to get an advantage. A two count is recorded. J-Ru misses with a splash. Justin nearly gets a three count. J-Ru recovers and hits an impressive standing suplex. Two count. Justin is thrown into the corner. Justin is hoisted to the top rope. J-Ru prepares for a super plex. Justin Sane battles out of it and lands a power bomb. Referee Smith starts a double count out. Sane is to his feet at six. He lands the leg and then climbs to the top rope and jumps off with an impressive, hard-hitting frog splash for the win!

Triple Threat Match: Quervo, Super Ginger and El Skeletorious

It takes a while for all three to get into the ring because Joey Quervo is passed out cold at the steps. El Skeletorious and Super Ginger try to pin Joey but that doesn’t work. Skelly tries to throw Quervo into Super Ginger but Ginger gets it in the privates instead. They battle around until Quervo springs out of nowhere and nearly pins Ginger. Ginger suplexes Quervo and then Skelly suplexes Ginger. Quervo is on the floor. Ginger tries to pin the ref. All three Megastars are on the outside. Quervo bails to the outside. Referee Smith counts to seven as Quervo is on the outside. Quervo returns and Ginger and Quervo attack El Skeletorious. They drop a double elbow on the masked Mexican but they fight over who is to make the pin. Ginger power bombs Quervo and gets the win. Ultimately all three dance together and leave as friends.

KSWA Owner Bobby O in the ring

KSWA Owner Bobby O comes to the ring and says that even though Shane Starr had his match cancelled on May 16, the former champion can get another opportunity. Tommy Faime arrives at ringside to complain about that decision. Bobby O says that Starr will get the return match if he defeats “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin…next.

Shane Starr vs. “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin

With Bobby O at ringside and Tommy Faime in Shane Starr’s corner, referee Justin Smith has his hands full. The fans in attendance scream “Garbage Pants” toward Martin. Martin argues with the crowd and Smith cannot gain control of the situation. Faime screams “He is NOT wearing Garbage Pants. The bell rings and the combatants circle each other. Bobby O stands to the right of the ring, Tommy Faime to the left. Martin immediately has Starr in the ropes and the veteran uses the ring against his opponent. Martin chops away at Starr. Martin then drives Starr to the mat. It’s all Martin in the opening moments. Martin picks Starr up by his hair. Faime gets Starr in the ropes as Martin distracts the ref. Bobby O is helpless. Martin kicks away at Starr. Martin smashes away at the top of Starr’s head. Martin mouths off to Bobby O. The fans scream “Garbage Pants” and it hurts Martin’s soul. Starr gets to his feet and clotheslines Martin. Starr gets Martin up for a bodyslam and holds it. He drives Martin the mat and then does it again with great gusto. Starr gets a two count. There’s a standing suplex. Martin kicks up at two. Martin uses underhanded tactics to drop Starr. Martin goes after Martin’s hamstrings. Bobby O distracts Martin enough to give Starr a breather. The former champ has taken a serious thrashing. Starr blocks the punch and then delivers a series of his own. There’s a kick out at two. There’s a two count by Starr. Martin reaches up and plunks Starr. Starr is planted in the corner. Martin misses with a clothesline. Shane is to his feet. Martin is in the corner. Starr delivers punches from the corner. There’s a kick to Martin’s midsection. Starr positions Martin up on the top rope. Starr delivers a thunderous super plex from the top. There’s a two and a half count. Martin is up for the Shining Wizard. Two count on Martin. Faime drops Starr from the outside and delivers a right hand. Bobby O and the referee are distracted as Faime tosses Starr back in. Martin goes for what he believes is an easy pinfall. Starr kicks out. Martin goes for his bat. Bobby O grabs it. Faime smacks Bobby O with the bat on the outside. Martin says he’s going to end it with the Death Certificate. Faime is on the apron. Starr flips Martin into Faime on the apron. Faime falls to the outside. Starr gets Martin into the Sharpshooter and the North Side resident taps out! Bobby O regains consciousness and he and Starr celebrate in the ring.

Massacre v. Badfingers in a Street Fight

Bobby Badfingers slaps Massacre and Mayor Mystery tosses powder into his eyes. Massacre fights off both Megastars and powerbombs Mayor Mystery on the outside. Massacre and Badfingers are on the outside. Massacre grabs a fan’s popcorn and forces it in his face. Massacre hits Badfingers with the lip of a garbage can Bobby brought to the ring. Massacre suplexes Badfingers on the hardwood outside the ring. Massacre follows Badfingers around the gymnasium. Massacre finds a pie tin and goes after Badfingers with it. Badfingers has control of this match. With Massacre down, Badfingers hits him with a boot to the thigh. Massacre is up and tosses Massacre back in. The fans cheer for Massacre as he enters over the top rope. Massacre clotheslines Badfingers. Massacre picks up a chair. Massacre puts Badfingers’ head over a chair. He drops a leg. Two count. Badfingers charges up. Badfingers grabs the barbed wire bat Massacre brought to the ring. He pounds Massacre with it several times on the back. Badfingers goes for a leg drop. Massacre kicks out at two. Badfingers goes to the garbage can of goodies. Badfingers gets a crutch. Massacre hits Badfingers with a chair in the bread basket. Massacre hits Badfingers with a piledriver on a chair. Incredibly, Badfingers kicks up at two. Now Massacre brings in the garbage can. Massacre gets the crutch. He buries it in Badfingers’ belly. Massacre clubs him in the back with the crutch once to drop him, and a second time to keep him down. Massacre lifts him up and delivers a head butt. Massacre drives Badfingers into the garbage can and scores the hard-fought victory. Fedor helps Badfingers get out of the ring.

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