The King Challenges An Angry Giant, Martin Cashes In, Fatal Four Way Touches All Corners

June 7, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

When the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Championship Committee booked a Steel City Strap Match between J-Ru and Jack Massacre, they knew that it was going to be hard-hitting. Little did they know that J-Ru was going to be up for the challenge against a 7-foot-tall mountain of a man. In addition, when “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin won an opportunity for the Golden Triangle Championship at Battle Bowl, little did anyone know that he was cashing in at the most ideal time.

5-Star Championship: Ric Rumsky v. Super Ginger (champion)

Referee Shawn Patrick makes his way to the ring. Ric Rumsky is full-throttle from the outset. Super Ginger, the brand-new 5-Star Champion, enters the ring with his own degree of passion. Rumsky takes the championship belt and poses with it. Ginger claps for him. The fans chant for Rumsky, Ginger poses Patrick in the corner with the 5-Star strap. The bell rings and the Megastars lock up. Ginger gets Rumsky in a head lock. Then there’s a go-around. Ginger hip tosses Rumsky to the mat and Rumsky does the same. A second time as well. Ginger extends a hand, but once in, Ginger slaps him into a headlock. Ginger won’t let go. Rumsky gets him down. Rumsky extends a hand and grabs Super Ginger in a headlock. Rumsky won’t let go. Rumsky keeps the offense on Ginger and he plants a kick to Super Ginger’s head. Ginger misses with a clothesline. Rumsky gets Ginger into the corner for a double knee splash. Ginger recovers but is then planted. Rumsky goes for the count but Ginger gets his legs into the ropes. Rumsky goes for a kick but Ginger catches him. Ginger throws Rumsky into the corner hard enough to stun Rummy. It’s enough for Super Ginger to score the duke. Ginger gets the pin and the win. Super Ginger retains.

Badfingers v. Malachi

Bobby Badfingers comes to the ring (conspicuous by his absence is Mayor Mystery) and then is followed by his opponent, “Big” Mike Malachi. Referee Justin Smith calls for the bell and Badfingers dashes to the ropes, complaining that he “wasn’t ready yet.” Malachi slaps the taste out of his mouth and Badfingers falls to the outside. He is immediately back in and goes on the offensive. Malachi hits him with a clothesline and suplex. There’s a gut-wrench suplex that tosses Badfingers across the mat. Malachi goes for the pin but Badfingers has his foot on the ropes. Malachi knocks him down and follows with a leg drop. Badfingers kicks up at two. There’s a poke in the eye by Badfingers and that stops Malachi’s momentum. Badfingers goes after Malachi’s throat. He follows that up with a boot and two count. Badfingers goes low with a boot. Referee Smith’s left hand slaps the mat twice. Badfingers bodyslams Malachi, follows that up with an elbow and two count. Badfingers gets Malachi into a sleeper hold. Badfingers announces that Malachi is done. Smith tries the arm. He gets one, two but at three, Malachi’s hand comes up. Malachi gets offense and drops Badfingers. Badfingers gets into the ropes as the count was starting. Malachi Crunch time. Badfingers gets his shoulder up at 2 and 3/4th. Malachi preys on his victim. Badfingers is slow in getting up. Malachi goes for another Crunch and spins Badfingers’ legs into the ref and Smith gets taken out. Malachi could count to 10, but the ref is out. Malachi gets up and pokes and prods Smith. Badfinginers loads up with brass knuckles. Badfingers connects and Malachi goes down like a sack of potatoes. Smith is roused up and makes the count. Smith could count to 100. Badfingers leaves with a win that would be disputed if there were instant replays in wrestling.

Del Douglas v. Justin Sane

Referee Shawn Patrick opens the ropes for Del Douglas. Justin Sane dashes to the ring while wearing a fruity hat from the Party Gras collection. Patrick keeps Douglas back from wanting to attack Sane. Sane poses for the crowd as Douglas rages. Sane puts on Douglas’ crown and that infuriates the Millvale Monarch. A “Dairy Queen” chants explodes throughout the Teamster Temple. The bell rings and Justin goes for Del’s wrist. Cranking of the wrist and arm goes on as Justin wraps Douglas’ arm over the top rope. Toot Sweet, Justin is back in and after Del’s arm all over again. Justin continues on. Douglas flips over and lands on his backside. Justin goes for a submission hold but it is broken as Douglas gets into the ropes. Douglas kicks low. Douglas bodyslams Sane with power and follows that up with an elbow and pin attempt. He gets two. Douglas goes for Sane Family Jewels. He drops Sane and only gets a two count. Douglas hammers Sane in the head. Douglas follows with knees to the midsection. Patrick counts two before Sane gets his shoulder up. Douglas gets Sane in the corner. He drives him head-first into another. Douglas kicks away at Sane and drops him to the mat. There’s the Millvale Crab. Sane is poised for pain. Patrick asks if he will give up and he isn’t. Douglas tires and drops him. Sane kicks up at two at the next pin attempt. Douglas pounds away at Justin’s head. Sane drops a leg on Douglas. Sane picks up the clean win. Douglas attacks Sane. Douglas pushes Patrick. Douglas finds a chair and plasters Sane. Douglas challenges the “Biggest Man in the Locker Room” Jack Massacre tomorrow in Harmarville. Massacre appears from nowhere and accepts the challenge in fine fashion. The match is set for tomorrow night in Harmarville.

Fatal Four-Way for the KSWA World Heavyweight Title: Douglas, Kash, Starr and Blanchard (champion)

The bell is called for by referee David Fedor. Kash and Starr go after Blanchard and Martin. The former VIPs follow that up with an attack of their own. Kash and Starr rebound and knock Blanchard and Martin out. Starr goes on the offense after them and then Kash dives on all three. Blanchard gets in and German Suplexes Kash three times all over the ring. Blanchard does the same to Martin. Starr gets in. He misses with a bodyslam attempt and Blanchard suplexes Starr three times. Martin comes in and knocks Blanchard aside. Martin drops Kash and nearly gets a three count before Kash kicks up. Blanchard drop kicks Martin from applying a submission move. Starr is back in for a Blanchard/Starr confrontation. Starr has Blanchard in the corner for punches to the noggin. There’s 10. Blanchard staggers out and into a clothesline from Starr. Martin gets offense on Starr. Blanchard and Martin face off and Blanchard hits his long time friend with a knee to the sternum. Kash and Starr double clothlesline Blanchard. They fight among themselves as to who might get the pin. They face off with Starr tossing Kash across the room in an attempt at a powerbomb. Marin bodyslams Starr onto Kash. Blanchard tries to sneak in with a pin but that doesn’t bode well with Martin. Martin is all over Blanchard in the corner. Kash hits a flying body press on Starr. Starr him and then Martin with the Shining Wizard. Starr does the same to Blanchard. Fedor goes for the pin but Martin breaks it up at two. Martin uses the ropes and Starr cascades to the floor. Owners Tommy Faime and Bobby O both materialize at ringside. Kash chops Blanchard in the corner. Blanchard recovers and does the same, dropping Kash. Blanchard goes after Martin in the corner. Blanchard slams Kash head-first into Martin’s gut. Two count on Kash by Blanchard. Kash forces Martin and Blanchard into a corner. Kash clotheslines them both. Martin falls prone on the ring, Blanchard right behind him. That sours everyone, including the former VIPs. Kash flying head scissors Starr across the ring. Kash hits a tilt a whirl drop kick on Martin and drops Blanchard outside. He does the same to Martin. Kash goes to the top and dives onto them both. The fans in attendance go crazy. Martin recovers and goes after Starr. Starr is tossed outside. Kash is inside. He lands an RKO on Martin. Kash up goes up top and dives onto Martin. Two count. Blanchard arrives and pile drives Kash onto Martin’s privates. Blanchard pins Martin and gets the unlikely, yet deserved win. The three fallen Megastars are helped to the locker room and Blanchard simply saunters to the back, with belt in hand.

Golden Triangle Championship: Quervo v. Kaida (champion)

Joey Quervo, who was a late replacing for the suddenly-missing Sniper (who may have been with Mayor Mystery), makes his way to the ring, and is followed by the Golden Triangle Champion, Kaida. The bell rings and Quervo flees to the outside. Referee Justin Smith counts to nine before Quervo dashes back in. He just as soon flounders to the back. Kaida, unimpressed, goes after him. Kaida beats him and tosses Quervo back into and out of the ring. Quervo once again falls to the outside. He makes his way in, just in time for Kaida’s bodyslam. Kaida calls for the suplex and tosses Quervo across the ring. The fans chant for “One More Time.” Kaida tosses Quervo with great aplomb. The fans want it again. Quervo goes for the eyes. Kaida was only momentarily sapped. He drops Quervo with an impressive suplex. He drops Quervo down for a two count. Kaida asks the Krazies if he should “Finish It?” They think he should. Kaida misses Quervo with a splash. Quervo goes for another move and Kaida catches him. Sidewinder Splash and the win. The winner is still Kaida!

Golden Triangle Championship: Martin v. Kaida (champion)

Tommy Faime arrives at ringside, paper in hand. He cashes in Martin’s Battle Bowl “Shot” at the Golden Triangle Championship. Martin immediately hits Kaida with the Death Certificate but Kaida, impossibly, kicks up at two!! Martin grasps his own head in disbelief. Kaida hits Martin with a spectacular suplex. Martin is incredibly up. Faime distracts the ref. Martin blasts Kaida in the head with his baseball bat not once but twice. Kaida wobbles and then hits the mat. The cover is made. The winner and NEW Golden Triangle Champion is “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin.

Nick Crane v. Lord Zoltan

Lord Zoltan follows Nick Crane to the ring. Zoltan quiets down the crowd and then erupts with “USA.” Referee David Fedor counts Crane on the outside, but Nick gets in before 10. They go for a lock up by the crafty Zoltan cries for the “USA” chant once again. Crane gets Zoltan into the corner. Fedor makes them break up the hold. They measure each other once again. Zoltan gets Crane into an arm hold. He threatens to break off the arm. Crane says “never.” Zoltan bites Crane and Nick is able to get out of the measure. Zoltan cranks up Crane’s left arm. Zoltan gets Nick into a submission hold but he won’t budge. Zoltan lets go. Crane grabs his flag and plasters Zoltan with it. Crane then reaches for the ring wrench and clobbers Zoltan with it. There’s a give and go with Fedor about what Crane has on him. Zoltan is able to rest a bit. Zoltan gets a wrench out of nowhere and blasts Crane in the head with it and gets the win. Zoltan dances with the fans as Fedor tries to figure out what exactly happened.

Steel City Strap Match: J-Ru v. Jack Massacre

Shawn Patrick calls for the bell and J-Ru dashes to the outside. Massacre pulls him back in. Massacre cracks him with a couple of loud slaps. J-Ru goes through Massacre’s legs and pulls him down from behind. Massacre gets offense on J-Ru in the corner. Massacre clubs him in the chest and back with the 20-foot long, yellow strap. J-Ru is down. J-Ru gets up and races around Massacre, tying his feet with the strap in the process. Massacre goes down in a heap. J-Ru dives on Massacre and then kicks him. Massacre tosses him off of a pin attempt. J-Ru is up for a series of big-time slaps to Massacre’s back. J-Ru continues the offense. Massacre is down and J-Ru uses the strap as a choke collar. He breaks the hold at three. The action remains on the ground. J-Ru climbs to the apron. He climbs to the top rope. By now, Massacre is up and pulls him across the ring. J-Ru is in the corner. Clothesline by the giant. Two count on J-Ru. Massacre curb stomps J-Ru, who is tied up with the strap. There’s a two and three quarter count on J-Ru by Massacre. By this time, some fans are chanting for J-Ru. J-Ru climbs to the top rope and goes for a flying body press. Massacre catches him and plants him with a bodyslam. There’s a pin attempt but Massacre picks him up at two. They trade big slaps with the strap. Massacre is in the corner. J-Ru splashes Massacre, who is tied to the corner. Patrick unties him. Massacre emerges from the corner. Massacre drops J-Ru with a jack knife power bomb for the win. For good measure, Massacre clobbers J-Ru again. J-Ru actually put up a better fight against a much bigger foe than expected.

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