Kash And Starr Tear Down The Iceoplex, Martin Retains, Massacre Answers Douglas At Children’s Miracle Network Fundraiser
June 8, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Owner Bobby O made a memorable night moreso at the Children’s Miracle Network fundraiser at the Iceoplex in Harmarville. He made the match between Kris Kash and Lou Martin a No DQ affair. He also foiled Shawn Blanchard’s attempt to vanquish Shane Starr in their match for the most Prestigious Single’s title in the Commonwealth. In addition, an angry Giant faced a King.
Sniper v. Lord Zoltan
Shawn Patrick welcomes Sniper and then Lord Zoltan to the ring. Zoltan dances his way around the ring. Zoltan gets into the ring and continues the in-ring psychology that befuddles even wily veterans like Sniper. Zoltan, like the night before, launches into a rally of “USA, USA.” Zoltan extends a hand in friendship. Patrick wants both Megastars to take the match seriously. Zoltan gets the fans to chant “USA, USA” a second time. They lock up two minutes after the bell rings. Sniper forces Zoltan into the corner and uses some illegal tactics. Zoltan complains about the tactic. They lock up again. Zoltan is forced into the corner. He comes out and gets Sniper into an arm-bar wrist lock. Zoltan hammers away at Sniper’s arm and shoulder. Zoltan asks the crowd if they want him to break the arm. The fans say “Yes.” Sniper, understandably, says “No.” Zoltan wrings the arm and asks if Sniper submits. He does not. Zoltan pulls Sniper down by using his belt. Patrick is distracted by Zoltan. Sniper gets his flag and pokes Zoltan in the ribs with it. That’s enough to get Zoltan down. Sniper uses the ring ropes to keep Zoltan down. Sniper is in control. There’s a back body drop and two count. Sniper threatens to kick Zoltan in the giblets. Zoltan breaks out of the hold. He chops and then punches Sniper in the corner. The posts Sniper and punches him in the forehead 10 times. That doesn’t deter Sniper, who whips Zoltan in the corner. Zoltan knocks Sniper down and holds his shoulders to the mat for the three count. Zoltan wins and dances with the fans. A miffed Sniper makes his way to the locker room.
J-Ru and Jay Flash v. The Jester and Kaida
J-Ru and Jay Flash make their way to the ring at their arrogant best. Kaida and The Jester, who both recently lost their single’s titles, charge to the ring with a mission on their mind. Kaida is more than ready to face off against J-Ru. J-Ru balks against fans at ringside. The bell rings and J-Ru does all he can to avoid Kaida. They lock up and J-Ru quickly goes for a go-behind and head lock on the Afghani Assault Weapon. Quickly, Kaida tags in The Jester, who goes to work on J-Ru. He drops a big knee on the fallen J-Ru. Jester wrestles J-Ru up. J-Ru pulls Referee Justin Smith in by the shirt collar. He kicks Jester in the privates and gains momentum. Jay Flash is tagged in and he uses the ropes against Jester. Referee Smith is distracted by Kaida and J-Ru and Jay Flash go to work on The Jester. J-Ru tagged back in. He uses his boot against Jester and then goes after Kaida in the corner. That’s enough to distract the ref. J-Ru and Jay Flash continue their offense on Jester. Flash gets a one-count on Jester before Kaida breaks it up. J-Ru kicks Jester in the abdomen. Jester kicks up at two. J-Ru tosses Jester in the corner. A tag is made to Flash. Flash kicks Jester and then drop kicks him in the sternum. There’s a German Suplex that tosses Jester down. There’s a sloppy two count as Jay Flash just uses one foot on Jester. Flash kicks away at The Jester. J-Ru is tagged back in as they successfully keep Jester on the mat. There’s a forearm by J-Ru. J-Ru tosses Jester across the ring and into the corner. Jester fights back with boots. J-Ru misses with a splash. Jester drops him with a drop toe hold into the corner. J-Ru uses Jester’s weight against him for suplex into the corner. One count before Jester’s boot gets into the ropes. There’s a kick out at two. J-Ru keeps Jester at bay. Jester kicks J-Ru in the back of the head. Both men are down. Smith starts the count. It reaches four before Flash is in. Kaida is tagged in and he suplexes both Megastars. The second suplex on J-Ru leads to a tag on The Jester. Jester drops a Frog Splash from the top rope and the win. Jester and Kaida celebrate after Kaida tosses J-Ru to the dek hockey floor.
King Del Douglas v. Jack Massacre
Del Douglas challenged Massacre on Saturday Night. King calls the Giant “stupid.” Douglas actually runs around Massacre. Douglas challenges him to a “Test of Strength.” Douglas immediately regrets it. Massacre chops him down. Massacre keeps Douglas at bay and then punches him and bodyslams him down. There’s a submission hold on Douglas. Douglas shouts, “He’s hurting me!” Massacre drives him down and gets a two count. There’s a gigantic splash in the corner. Massacre misses with another splash. Douglas punches and slaps Douglas in the corner. Massacre does the same and then simply hurls Douglas across the ring. Massacre powerbombs Douglas down and gets the three count. The winner is Jack Massacre!
Golden Triangle Championship: Kris Kash v. “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin
Kris Kash comes to the ring and he is accompanied by KSWA Owner Bobby O. Martin, the brand new, 2-time Golden Triangle Champion, marches to the ring and argues with everyone he encounters at ringside. Martin, brandishing the GT belt and his black baseball bat, doesn’t make friends in Harmarville. The fans chant, “Garbage Pants.” Bobby O makes the match a “No DQ” affair. The bell rings and Kash smartly goes right after Martin. The math very quickly spills to the floor. Kash hits Martin with a garbage can. Kash dumps all the garbage over Martin and that freaks out the Megastar. Kash tosses Martin into the ring post. Kash pops Martin with a used container of nachos. Martin, with Nacho Cheese on his neck, goes after Kash and pounds on him in front of the fans. Martin clobbers Kash with a wooden folding chair. Martin finds rope from underneath the ring and chokes Kash with it. Kash is tossed over the boards of the skating rink. Martin tosses Kash back in and kicks him in the mush. Martin picks up a wooden KSWA sign and hits Bobby O and Kash with it. Martin tosses Kash back in. Martin asks the fans “What do you think of me now?” They aren’t pleased. Martin misses a big leg drop from the top rope. Kash tilt a whirl drop kicks Martin. Kash follows Martin into the corner with a clothesline. Kash tosses Martin outside and quickly dives on top of him. The fans love that. Kash hits Martin with double ax handles and then digs at his face. Kash rides Martin for a bit, all the while digging at his face. Kash reclaims the wooden chair that was used on him before for a shot to Martin’s gut. The battle rages across the dek hockey rink and Kash successfully tosses Martin into the goal. That doesn’t win him the KSWA belt, though. Martin is tossed back into the ring. Kash misses with a diver. Martin hits the Death Certificate on Kash and gets the win.
Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Justin Sane
Marbell leads Morris to the ring and Referee Shawn Patrick is already there. Patrick checks Justin Sane as Marbell and Morris circle the ring. The bell rings and Marbell tells fans at ringside that he is indeed “A Boy Scout” and would do nothing of nefarious means. Sane grabs Morris by the wrist and then Sane climbs the corner post to go “Old School.” He flips Morris across the ring. He goes for the move again. Marbell climbs to the apron. That’s enough to distract everyone and Morris clobbers Sane. He nearly gets a pinfall. Morris goes to the apron and keeps the offense and Justin Sane down. Morris has Sane in the center of the ring for a submission move but Justin won’t give. Morris drives Sane down onto his head. There’s a two and a half count. Morris argues with Patrick, all the while keeping his boot on Sane’s throat. Morris administers a club to the back of Justin’s head. Morris misses with a clothesline. There’s a flying body press from Sane and he nearly gets a three count. Sane clotheslines Morris down. Morris gets some offense in and gets Sane on the top rope. There’s an attempt at a superplex but Sane powerbombs Morris instead. Marbell goes to the apron. He gets knocked down. Sane lands a leg drop and then a frog splash from the top rope for the win.
KSWA World Title: Shane Starr v. Shawn Blanchard (champion)
Referee David Fedor holds up the KSWA World Heavyweight Title, the most prestigious title in the Commonwealth. The bell rings and ringside fans instantly claim that Blanchard is hiding a foreign object in his hand. After extensive searching, Fedor finds Blanchard clean. Blanchard is forced into the corner and Starr administers a clean break. Blanchard pushes Starr into the corner. Blanchard goes for a hip toss. Starr blocks it and tosses the 6-time Champion across the ring. Blanchard distracts Fedor and hits Starr in the throat, maybe with a foreign object. Blanchard kicks Starr in the gut or lower. Blanchard continues the assault on Starr’s breathing device. Blanchard elbows Starr in the scalp. Back elbow drop is hit on Starr. There’s a knee to the sternum and two count. Starr dodges a back body drop and hits a Sharpsburg Crab. Immediately, Lou Martin races from the locker room and breaks up the hold. The match is immediately thrown out. Kris Kash dashes in and attacks the former VIPs. Bobby O emerges and calls for a tag team match!
Tag Match: Kash and Starr v. Martin and Blanchard
Blanchard and Kash start the match. Blanchard tosses Kash across the mat. Blanchard preens and Kash recovers. They lock up again. Blanchard goes for a wrist lock on Kash. Martin shouts for Blanchard to break it. Blanchard distracts the referee and Kash is attacked by Martin on the apron. Martin pump handles Kash’s arm not once but twice. They go again and this time, Martin is pump handling Blanchard’s arm. Once they realize it, Blanchard falls to the mat and Kash nearly gets a pinfall. Starr is tagged in and he clotheslines Blanchard down. Then there’s a huge bodyslam. Starr wants another but first he pokes at Martin. Starr has Blanchard down and delivers a punt to Blanchard’s lower region. Starr keeps Blanchard from tagging in Martin. Starr drops Blanchard. Martin worries that Blanchard’s “pretty face” will be damaged. Martin is soon tagged in and he uses the ring ropes against Starr’s throat. The ref is distracted and Blanchard uses the middle rope on Starr’s throat. Bobby O, who has remained at ringside, finds himself in the middle of all the arguing. Starr is in the middle of the ring. Martin drives him into Blanchard’s corner. Blanchard rakes Starr’s forehead over the top rope. Bobby O tries to rally the crowd. Starr is down and Blanchard and Starr “make a wish” with Starr’s legs. Martin delivers a leg drop. Martin digs at Starr’s face. Martin uses Starr’s hair and drops him over the top rope. Blanchard goes behind Starr and grabs his chin and face. Bobby O shouts for Shane at ringside. Blanchard gouges and digs at Starr and wants to know if that’s all legal. Kash shouts for Starr on the apron. Starr gets to his feet and delivers some elbows to break the hold. There’s a Spinebuster and two count from Blanchard on Starr. The fans chant for “Garbage Pants.” A blind tag is made and Martin is back in. He pulls Starr’s arms back. Starr battles up with punches and a spectacular suplex out of nowhere. Martin crawls to his corner, Starr to his. Kash drop kicks Blanchard and drives him into a corner. There Kash rains blows on Blanchard’s face. Kash delivers chops to Martin. Blanchard hits Kash with chops. Kash dives on Blanchard from the corner. Two count. Blanchard nearly rolls up Kash but only gets a two count. Martin races in and goes after Kash. Starr is in. Martin and Blanchard are slammed together in the center of the ring. Starr hits Blanchard with the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter; Kash applies a Figure Four on Martin. Soon the former VIPs both tap out. Kash and Starr are your winners!