Rumsky Takes Advantage Of Opportunity, Malachi’s Future Uncertain And Giant Falls Short At KSWA Saturday Night

July 12, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

When it became apparent that “The Face of Pittsburgh” wasn’t going to have an opponent for his Golden Triangle Championship match, the Owner of the KSWA Tommy Faime, had something in mind. It almost worked to perfection. Almost. In addition to that, “Big” Mike Malachi fell victim to a plot conceived by J-Ru and Mayor Mystery; meanwhile, Harley T. Morris and Jack Massacre had their chance at KSWA immortality.

"King" Del Douglas v. Lord Zoltan

King Del Douglas outlasts merciless taunting of “Burger King” from dozens of kids at ringside. Zoltan appears to the Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar” and almost everyone is on their feet, dancing. Soon its minutes into the match before the combatants lock up. Douglas and Zoltan get Referee David Fedor involved and he falls to the mat. Fedor questions Zoltan the kids at ringside think it’s Douglas. Who knows. They lock up again and Douglas reels Fedor in and lands a forearm to the spine of Fedor. They lock up a third time and Fedor catches Douglas’ act. Douglas goes into the corner and Zoltan follows with lefts. A splash on the other side of the ring is next and Douglas ducks it. He knocks Zoltan down and goes to work on him in the ropes. Fedor warns of more nonsense. Fedor counts Douglas off of Zoltan, who he was choking in the corner. Douglas gets on Zoltan again. Zoltan is gassed in the corner and Douglas goes after him. Douglas uses the ropes again on Zoltan. Douglas knows the rules and that he “has until five.” Fedor checks on Zoltan and goes to work in the corner. Zoltan pulls Douglas out onto the floor for a series of chops and punches. The Krazies go wild with this action. Zoltan, who rarely goes to the floor, has had enough for Douglas. There are more chops. Fedor counts both Megastars on the outside. Zoltan throws Douglas back into the ring but fails to get back in before 10. Zoltan is counted out and Douglas is the winner. Zoltan grabs Douglas’ crown and takes off with it, dancing all the way to the locker room.

J-Ru (with Mayor Mystery) v. Big Mike Malachi

The bell rings and J-Ru immediately attacks Malachi and has him in the corner. Big Mike comes back and uses his immense power to up-end J-Ru. Power moves and a splash have J-Ru woozy. A suplex floors J-Ru. Malachi nearly gets a pin but Mayor Mystery interferes on the apron. J-Ru takes advantage and nearly rolls Malachi up for the win. He keeps Mike off balance. There’s a clothesline and two-count on Malachi. J-Ru keeps Malachi grounded and works on the leg. Boots and kicks to the thigh keep Malachi down. J-Ru has Mike in the bottom rope for offense. J-Ru then distracts Malachi for illegal offense from Mayor Mystery. J-Ru continues to work on Malachi’s leg in the corner. J-Ru lands a drop kick and that rattles Malachi. J-Ru wisely keeps Malachi in the corner and near Mystery and his cane. Malachi fights him off and surprises everyone with a huge drop kick. Kids at ringside scream, “You got him in the ropes.” Both Megastars are down. J-Ru sweeps Malachi’s leg and drops one on the tag champ. J-Ru keeps the offense up. Two count on Malachi. J-Ru climbs to the middle rope for an elbow but Malachi gets his boots up. That’s enough to cripple J-Ru on his way down. Malachi and J-Ru try to get up. Malachi is up at five. There’s a huge side slam. Both men are down again. Mystery shouts encouragement to J-Ru. Malachi is up at four. Malachi waits for J-Ru. Malachi shakes the leg. He lands a belly-to-belly suplex. Two count. Kids at ringside argue with Mystery. Malachi sets him up for the Crunch. J-Ru slips out of it and cuts Malachi’s knee. J-Ru misses with a clothesline. The Crunch is landed. There appears to be a three count but Smith calls it off. There’s a bit of confusion with everyone but the referee. He re-starts the match. J-Ru hits Malachi with Mayor Mystery’s cane and rolls Malachi up for the quick win. J-Ru and Mystery attack Malachi. They prepare to wrap his legs around the corner post but Massacre chases them off. Malachi is in serious pain and Massacre helps him to the back. Malachi would be taken to a local hospital to have his once surgically-repaired knee checked out.

The Mercenaries v. Kash and Starr

Sniper and “Nasty” Nick Crane come to the ring with Mayor Mystery, who is still feeling iffy from the Jack Massacre attack. Bobby O comes to the ring with Kash and Starr. The Mercenaries are livid. The bell rings and Sniper locks up with Kris Kash. Sniper tosses Kash into the corner and gets some offense before he is able to change those fortunes and tags in Shane Starr. The former KSWA World Champion goes right after Sniper and knocks him to the mat. Kash is tagged back in and he drop kicks Sniper, who is seated. There’s a two count on Sniper but the Mercenary goes below the belt to stop that momentum. Sniper tags in Crane who goes right after Kash. Mayor Mystery peppers Kash in the corner. Smith is oblivious. Mayor goes after Kash with the cane. Crane has the ref distracted. Starr then gets angry with smith Bobby O tries to get Smith to get involved. Sniper comes in without the benefit of a tag. Sniper goes to work on Kash’s chin and neck. Sniper gets Kash in the corner for a chop. Starr chases back in and he’s stopped. Crane rushes in and smacks Kash. Kash in on the matt and then into a version of the cobra clutch. Shadow tags continue as the Mercenaries continue their onslaught, this time by Sniper. Kash rolls Sniper up for a two count. It’s essential a three-on-one match with Mayor Mystery peppering Kash from the outside. Mystery and the cane is destructive. Crane keeps the power-moves and levels Kash. Starr yells at the ref. Kash suddenly and abruptly flips out of the corner and onto Crane. The Krazies are yelling like crazy for Kash. Kash tags in Starr and Crane tags Sniper. Starr attacks both Mercenaries. Starr muscles Sniper up for the Shining Wizard and Kash goes up top. Kash swontons onto Sniper and the former Lost Boys get the duke in classic fashion. They dispatch Mystery and celebrate with Bobby O.

(Non-Title) Golden Triangle Championship: Ric Rumsky v. Lou Martin (champion)

The match was supposed to be a title match with Kaida; however, the Afghani Assault Weapon no-showed the event. KSWA Owner Tommy Faime comes out and gives the match to Ric Rumsky, albeit without a title shot. In addition, the non-title match will be officiated by “Gentleman” Joe Perri, the KSWA Kommissioner. The bell rings and Martin has Rumsky chase him around the ring. At a moment’s notice, Martin goes right after Rumsky pokes him in the eye. There’s a move to the ropes and Martin dives on his back. It’s all Martin in the opening moments as he punches Rumsky in the gut. Martin tosses him into the corner and splashes Rumsky. Martin kicks Rumsky and digs at his face. Rumsky is down and Martin muscles him up for a body slam. Martin paint brushes Rumsky in the face. Martin misses with a clothesline and Rumsky hits a cross-body block. Martin is in the corner and Rumsky comes at him with the Buckshot double knee to the chest. There’s a two count before Martin gets his shoulder up. Suplex from Rumsky onto Martin. A drop kick to the fallen Martin. Two count. Rumsky can’t believe it. Faime badgers Faime from ringside. Rumsky jaws with Faime. Rumsky looks at Bobby O and picks Martin up. He clotheslines Martin in the corner. There’s a kick and a two count. Faime shouts encouragement from ringside. Martin fights upward with punches and chops. Martin has Rumsky in the corner for boots. He breaks it up at four. Martin drops Rumsky across his knee. Rumsky will not give up. Martin moves it to a side slam and two-count. Rumsky is slow to get up. Martin goes for his infamous black bat. Perri fights him for it. Rumsky gets up and kicks Martin down. Perri tosses the bat to the ringside table. The fans are behind Rumsky. Two count and Martin gets his shoulder up. Rumsky is slow getting up. Martin rolls over. Rumsky gets him in the ropes and hits forearms. Martin goes for the Death Certificate. Rumsky rolls out of it and drops Martin down for the surprise three-count. The win is a non-title match. Bobby O grabs the microphone and says on August 22, the KSWA Golden Triangle Championship will be on the line when Martin takes on Rumsky in a rematch.

Jay Flash v. The Jester

The two young, yet veteran members of the KSWA lock up. Flash gets a momentary advantage over the face-painted Jester. Flash rolls into the ropes. Referee David Fedor, who has a tightened back due to the attack from King Douglas earlier in the night, has complete control in the early going. Flash has Jester in a headlock. Jester slaps Flash in the rear end and the South Beach Soldier races to the corner. Jester goes after Flash’s backside again, and he races to the time keeper’s table. Jester challenges him to a test of strength. Flash obliges but gets out of it. Jester flips Flash down and follows up with a series of punches and slaps. Flash falls to the outside. Fedor tells him to get back into the ring. Flash gets offense on The Jester. Fedor checks on Jester, who Flash has in a Sleeper Hold. Jester does not give up. Jester crawls to his feet and then goes after Flash. Jester goes after Flash and he is wrapped up in the ropes. Flash dives over top of Jester and drops him to the mat. An elbow follows and a two count. Jester pounds his fist into the mat as a way to clear his cloudy head. Flash goes for the pile driver. Jester fights him off and lands back-end first onto Flash’s torso. Both Megastars are spent. Flash gets up and pops Jester in the head. Jester retaliates with a series of head butts. Jester tries to get Flash up but Flash blocks it. He steps onto Jester’s foot and gains momentum. Flash drives Jester into the corner. Jester splashes Flash in the corner. Jester lands a RKO but Flash kicks up at two. Jester is driven down and Flash records a two count. Flash gets up and gets ready for a move to the corner. Flash is up to the top and Jester gets to his feet. Jester kicks Flash in the head. Two count. Jester gets to his feet. Flash is down. Jester calls for the top rope. Flash meets him in the corner. Jester tosses Flash down. He misses with the Frog Splash. Flash is up and hits Jester with a super kick and scores the win.

Five Star Championship: Harley T. Morris (w/Marbell) v. Super Ginger (champion)

Super Ginger spends a few moments tying his boot as referee Justin Smith waits, and then checks him over. Morris wants to check the belt so he lifts it and raises it to the Lawrenceville sky. Super Ginger takes it back and gets applause from the crowd. The bell rings and Morris tries to gain acceptance from the Pittsburgh crowd. It doesn’t work. Super Ginger raises referee Smith to the corner and he is booed. The two lock up as Morris goes for a go-behind. Morris gets Super Ginger into an arm bar and then Super Ginger reverses it. Morris gets him into a headlock and won’t let go. Super Ginger tries put has difficulty. Ginger breaks out of it and slaps his adversary into a sleeper hold. Smith counts Morris’ arm down twice. The third time, Morris doesn’t let it drop. Morris uses leverage to get himself into a corner. He breaks the hold and blasts Ginger down. A quick pin attempt, but only a two-count, is next. Morris uses his shin on Ginger’s neck. Morris distracts the ref and Marbell takes advantage on the outside. Morris body splashes Ginger in the ropes and gets a two count. Morris suplexes him down. Two count. Morris argues about the quickness of the count. Morris drop kicks Ginger in the corner. Two count. Morris gets Super Ginger up but Ginger breaks the hold. There’s a series of clotheslines and Morris is reeling. Ginger bodyslams Morris as the crowd erupts in approval. Morris gets up and gets some momentum. Out of nowhere, Super Ginger gets Morris down and scores the win. Super Ginger hugs everyone, including a surprised Marbell, before racing out of the ring and to the locker room.

KSWA World Heavyweight Championship: Blanchard (champion) v. Jack Massacre

Referee Fedor finds an illegal object in Blanchard’s boot and sends it ringside to Kommissioner and tonight’s time keeper, Gentleman Joe Perri. Massacre immediately gets Blanchard into a test of strength and reduces Blanchard to a quivering mess. Blanchard races to the outside to gain his composure. He gets back in and right into Massacre’s clutches. Or big chops to the chest. Massacre clotheslines Blanchard down. Blanchard gets Massacre in the corner for chops but Massacre simply walks out of the corner and Blanchard cowers. Massacre gets Blanchard in the corner for a series of butt-first mini-splashes. Blanchard is tossed aside. Massacre chases Faime at ringside. Faime says that Massacre won’t catch him. Massacre climbs back in and right into Blanchard’s boots. After some offense, Massacre gets some of his own. Blanchard recovers and gets the giant in a corner, where Faime attacks once Fedor’s back is turned. Massacre chases Blanchard on the outside but Massacre headbutts the champion down. Massacre tries to climb in but Faime has his own plans. He hits Massacre low and that will even slow a giant. Massacre gets back in and he bodyslams Blanchard. He kicks Faime at ringside. Massacre calls for a win. He picks up Blanchard for a bodyslam but Fedor gets knocked aside. Lou Martin and his black bat race in. He goes to hit Massacre with it but the giant catches it. He knocks Martin down but the bat drops in. Faime picks it up and wallops Massacre. The drowsy ref is tossed back in. Blanchard makes the cover and scores the win. The VIPs leave and Massacre is in the ring, Fedor is at ringside as well, as the fans are disappointed in the loss.

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