by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer, Wrestling Journalist
December 10, 2009
[Each year, Keystone State Wrestling Alliance's FanFest is bigger and better, because of the fans, who we have lovingly dubbed the “Krazies.” By showing up in record numbers and donating more toys to needy kids, the Krazies never fail to amaze. This year was no exception. The Krazies are the best fans in all of sports. Period.]
Moments after arriving on the scene to help The Latin Assassin in his pursuit of the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Championship, Double-A Anthony Alexander turned on his friend, and planted his face firmly in the mat with the Prime Time Cancellation at FanFest.
But that was just the fantastic end to one historic night.
Triple Threat Match: Great Toyota v. Joey Quervo v. La Lucha
The Great Toyota was the first Megastar out for the evening. Along with Gentleman Joe Perri, Toyota has been a reluctant rule breaker and doer of Perri's devious deeds. Joey Quervo and La Lucha—the Mexican Connection in Tag Team matches—are at odds in this contest.
Great Toyota, who danced during introductions when Perri was turned the other way, had previously stated in broken English that he wished his freedom for Christmas. Perri, who scolded Toyota any time he caught him having fun, held control over his martial arts ward through a visa snafu.
Toyota started the action with a double drop kick on both rivals. Toyota took early control over La Lucha while the inebriated Quervo slowly regained composure in the corner.
Once up, Joey got clobbered by Toyota and his martial arts prowess.
Soon, La Lucha got back into it and smashed Toyota. Quervo and La Lucha teamed to suplex Toyota. Toyota, however, recovered and placed knees to La Lucha's gut. Toyota got the upper hand on Quervo and Perri choked La Lucha in the corner. A standing-room-only crowd screamed in disapproval, but referee Justin Smith was checking on Quervo, who was in a submission move.
Quervo got out of the hold and La Lucha was able to get away from Perri. La Lucha was able to get momentum on both of his competitors. He lined each up individually for his three splashes from the corner, before incapacitating both long enough to stack them on top of one another for those patented splashes. However, La Lucha couldn't get either in a pin attempt.
All three Megastars battled, gained momentum and lost momentum in the ensuing moments. Toyota went down. Quervo was sent over the top rope by La Lucha. Then, the Mayor of Mexico City launched himself onto the opponents belong outside of the ring. The place erupted with “La Lucha” chants.
Referee Justin Smith tried to count them out, but Toyota and La Lucha rolled in before the 10 count. Joey got in as well. Toyota met La Lucha with a boot to the throat. Quervo recovered and planted Toyota in the middle of the ring. The pin is counted and Joey Quervo is declared the winner.
Post match: Joe Perri gets in Great Toyota's face. Toyota finally had enough and attacked Perri. That brought out KSWA Owner Bobby O. Bobby comes to the ring with a piece of correspondence from the U.S. Immigration Agency. The paper says that The Great Toyota's work visa snafu has been corrected and the martial arts Megastar is permitted to work freely in the United States again. Bobby informs Toyota that he's free and doesn't have to work for Perri anymore.
Toyota celebrates with Joey Quervo and La Lucha and they leave together. Perri is steamed and claims that he's not through with Great Toyota.
Big Mike Malachi v. Ali Kaida
Next up is a rematch from Autumn Annihilation in which both men were counted out when they brawled back to the locker rooms.
The former Tag Team Champions and best friends are not mortal enemies. Ali Kaida had actually disappeared for a while and Big Mike sold his estate in Belfast, Northern Ireland and returned to the United States and Pittsburgh's North Hills specifically. Ironically, both disassociated themselves from their former manager, Gentleman Joe Perri.
Big Mike was out first, followed by the Afghani Assault Weapon. Ali Kaida wouldn't allow referee Justin Smith to pat him down, and Malachi didn't care. The fight was on.
Malachi wrapped Ali Kaida into a headlock. Kaida rolled out of it. Malachi applied an arm bar, Ali Kaida broke out of it and clawed at Malachi. Ali Kaida bodyslammed Malachi. This was not a scientific matchup by any means.
The two giant Megastars battled tooth and nail for several minutes. Malachi, in a terrific feat of strength, gut-wrench suplexed the 275 lb. Ali Kaida and shook the ring. He followed that up with a leg drop and pin attempt. Ali Kaida grabbed onto the ropes. Malachi hit Kaida with some massive reverse knife-edge chops. Some of the offense wasn't entirely clean, as Malachi kneed his opponent in the crotch. Not to be outdone, a few minutes later, Kaida pretty much returned the favor.
Once with Malachi down, Kaida used a ringside wrench that's used to tighten turnbuckles to gouge his opponent in the eye.
Malachi did survive a pin attempt.
The match evolved into a gruesome brawl and Justin Smith couldn't handle the situation himself. Senior referee Jimmy James charged the ring but couldn't break up the two who continually refused to listen to Justin Smith.
Justin Smith calls for the bell and calls the match a “No Contest.”
After initial confusion at the call, the Megastars break up the fight.
Big Mike Malachi grabs the microphone and challenges Ali Kaida to a Bull Rope Match on January 23. Kaida accepts.
Golden Triangle Championship: “King” Del Douglas v. Champion Kris Kash
With all due respect to the VIPs and Demolition and The Latin Assassin v. Shawn Blanchard, on many levels, the rivalry between “King” Del Douglas and Golden Triangle Champion Kris Kash might be the most top notch of 2009. The action has been superb inside the squared circle and the personal rivalry has been just as entertaining.
The competitors enter the ring, with the Krazies giving Douglas as much grief as they can. Referee Jimmy James checks both competitors and the bell is rung.
The competitors lock in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Douglas goes after Kash right away and pounds on him. Douglas goes straight for the dirty tactics by grabbing his opponent's nether regions and kneeing him in the throat. Douglas follows that up with a suplex, elbow and then a back elbow. Kash is in trouble.
Douglas, who held the Golden Triangle championship for a brief tenure in the summer, bodyslams Kash, then follows through with a knee from the middle rope.
Douglas is in control. Kash won't submit to a pressure move featuring a knee to his back.
Douglas rolls him up into a Royal Pain sharpshooter, but there's no quit in Kash.
James spots Douglas using the ropes for leverage and makes him break the hold. Kash recovers with offense of his own.
Kash punches and drop kicks Douglas. A tilt a whirl drop kick in the corner plants Kash's boots in Douglas' mush. Kash explodes on Douglas with massive reverse knife edge chops. The smashes leave Douglas with a crimson hand print on his chest.
The King somehow recovers and throws Kash into the ropes. He's able to land his signature move, “Drop it like it's Hot” out of nowhere and scores the victory.
The winner and new 2-time Golden Triangle Champion, The King Del Douglas!
After a lengthy intermission where more than a thousand dollars of gifts were given away to dozens of fans, FanFest returned with a unique match.
Loser Wears a Dress Match: Justin Sane v. Lord Zoltan (w/Mayor Mystery)
As has become customary, the KSWA hosts a guest ring announcer for one match each FanFest. This year, the promotion was pleased to have Pittsburgh City Councilman Bill Peduto as Trapper Tom's guest pinch-hitter. The Krazies warmly received the “hippest” member of Pittsburgh City Council.
After Peduto made the introductions, both combatants preened for the audience. Justin brought a wrapped present into the ring and made sure no one touched it until after the match.
Both athletes went at it. Zoltan got Sane in an arm bar and worked on it. Somewhere along the line, Mayor Mystery was to yank Justin's arm over the top rope; however, Sane somehow got Zoltan's wrist in the manager's clutches. Justin jumped down to the floor and applauded as Mayor Mystery injured his own man's arm over the top rope. This went on for several seconds.
After Mayor Mystery stopped brutalizing his own ward, Zoltan went after Justin. Both men got occasional momentum, then lost it. Lord Zoltan went back to his old ways and used the wrist tape to choke Justin while the referee was distracted by Mystery.
Zoltan slapped Justin into a sleeper hold. Justin is able to get out of it. Zoltan cynches it in again. Zoltan is able to keep it on as Justin attempts, in vain, to get out.
Ultimately, Justin is able to get out. Both veterans looked like they were on the verge of victory, only to come up short. Zoltan puts the boots to Justin. Justin goes down. Zoltan goes up to the top rope. He dives and misses. Justin quickly climbs to the top for Shock Therapy. He cannot connect. Zoltan recovers, lays Justin out with a pile driver.
Lord Zoltan gets the win and Justin Sane is forced to wear a dress. The Christmas package Justin brought is opened and it contains a form-fitting dress. Burlesque music plays and Justin puts on the dress, albeit without much enthusiasm.
KSWA Legends Match: Frank Durso v. Dominic DeNucci
KSWA Owner Bobby O is the Special Guest Referee for this match. Frank Durso is accompanied to the ring by “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard. The reception for the KSWA Hall of Famer is enormous, despite his rule-breaking ways. The fans would not quiet down until nearly all of Durso's “New York, New York” ring music had gone away.
Then, Dominic DeNucci arrived on the scene to a boisterous ovation.
The fans were ready for this one.
The two veterans clinched in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Durso clobbers DeNucci with a forearm smash. DeNucci rallies with European forearm smashes on Durso.
The long-time rivals battle fist and foot in the middle of the ring. Durso chokes DeNucci, gets him on the mat. And in a remarkable change of events, Durso distracts the referee as Shawn Blanchard chokes DeNucci near the corner. However, DeNucci is able to battle out of it and get to his feet.
DeNucci “rope and dopes” Durso, punches the KSWA Hall of Famer, then grasps him in a sleeper, while Durso is still on his feet.
Blanchard slips Durso a pair of brass knuckles, which the ref doesn't see. Durso uses them on DeNucci and knocks him to the mat.
Durso covers DeNucci and gets the one, two and three. The winner of the first ever Legend's Match: Frank Durso. DeNucci gets to his feet and clears the ring by punching Blanchard and then Durso.
Bobby O says there's nothing he can do about the outcome since he didn't see the infraction; however, he can play Frank's “special” ring music. The classic “Grinch” theme is then played. Bobby then says that DeNucci will be asked to come back sometime in 2010 for his chance at revenge. DeNucci asks for the microphone. He accepts the challenge to come back then wishes everyone in attendance a Merry Christmas.
KSWA Tag Team Situation: Bobby O
KSWA Owner Bobby O makes his way to the ring and reads a letter from Ax and Smash, collectively known as Demolition. The team announces that they cannot make it back to defend the KSWA Tag Team Championship. Bobby O then has an idea. He is promptly interrupted by Lou Martin and Shane Starr (members of the VIPs). Martin says that since Demolition won't defend the belts, the VIPs should get them back.
Bobby says that the VIPs will get a chance at the straps, as the first team in the Gauntlet match to determine the new champs! The VIPs then face Biker Al and Bobby Badfingers, along with Gentleman Joe Perri.
Biker Al starts with Shane Starr. Biker Al gets some initial offense and clotheslines Starr. He immediately goes for a pin, Lou Martin breaks it up. Bobby Badfingers is tagged in and he chokes Starr in the corner. Badfingers continues on Starr, culminating with a DDT (after a low blow). The battle rages on for a few moments until Lou Martin applies the Death Certificate on Bobby Badfingers. Martin gets the pin and the VIPs move on to face...
Double-A Anthony Alexander and Alex Arcadian. The team, some called them Quad-A, were the big team to beat. Anthony took on Shane Starr. Alexander was all over Starr in the early going. Then Arcadian was tagged in and he went to work on the youngest member of the VIPs.
Starr was able to get some momentum going his way against Arcadian. Anthony was tagged back in and he tossed Starr into the corner.
Martin was tagged in. He challenged Double-A to a test of strength. Alexander decidedly won the two-hand challenge. He even stepped on Martin's hands to boot.
After a few minutes of frantic action, Alexander gets the pin on Starr. That leads into the next team...
Blood Beast and Bulldozer with Joe Perri. Anthony Alexander asks for Tornado Rules Tag Match where all four men are in the ring together. Surprisingly, he gets it. All four Megastars start out in the ring.
Anthony takes on Blood Beast, Alex takes on Bulldozer. Blood Beast clotheslines Alexander. Bulldozer uses his 410 pounds on Arcadian. It's bedlam as Blood Beast and Alexander fall to the outside. Inside, Bulldozer lands that rolling splash on a prone Arcadian in the corner. After a few moments, Arcadian even tries to bodyslam Bulldozer. It didn't work.
All four men are in the ring. Blood Beast gets knocked to the outside. Arcadian kicks Bulldozer and that leads him right into Alexander's Prime Time Cancellation for the victory. Quad-A then sets for the final team...
Ric Rumsky and Vinnie Stone make their way to the ring. Rumsky is in a more serious mood than when he and Arcadian formed the “Best Tag Team Evaaa.” Rumsky and Stone wore matching ring gear and took on a “team” attitude.
Alexander boots Stone to the outside. The one-time Tag Team Champs, Rumsky and Arcadian, are left inside the ring. They proceed to chop each other mercilessly. The huge chops rang throughout the packed arena. Arcadian got Rumsky into a neckbreaker then a slam. Vinnie Stone broke up the pin attempt. The up-and-coming team, which also held the Tag straps for a brief while earlier this summer, really took it to Quad-A. In one of the most electrifying moment of the gauntlet, Stone speared Alexander with authority. With Alexander down, the team turned their attention to Arcadian. Rumsky planted him with a superkick. Rumsky makes the cover and the new KSWA Tag Team Champions are Ric Rumsky and Vinnie Stone.
In a foreshadowing move, Anthony Alexander left Alex Arcadian in the ring. There was no way that anyone would have made the connection at that moment.
KSWA World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Latin Assassin v. Shawn Blanchard
Introductions are made. Both men's KSWA resumes are announced. It's interesting to note that earlier in the day at the KSWA offices, both Shawn Blanchard and the Latin Assassin both weighed in at exactly 237 lbs.
These combatants have been in the ring before, sometimes as friends, sometimes as foes. They both took their time. Blanchard is a notoriously slow starter in big matches, while The Latin Assassin runs at a higher velocity. But not at FanFest. The pace was slowed to a snail's pace early on. Both men could feel the significance of the night. Very few of the 374 paid attendees left before this match.
The first significant offense move was Shawn Blanchard hip tossing The Latin Assassin. As if two thoroughbreds bolted out of the gates early, the match was reset and slowed down one more time.
Latin hip tosses Blanchard. The 5-time KSWA Champion bails to the outside.
The match is slowed down again.
Blanchard gets back into the ring and pokes Latin in the eye. It was going to be that kind of night. Blanchard follows that with a boot to Latin's throat. Blanchard tries to intimidate Latin by tossing him outside. Latin gets back in.
Blanchard attempts to win it early with a back elbow. Latin kicks up at two. Blanchard chokes Latin until referee Jimmy James counts to four. The ref is distracted, Durso chokes Latin from the apron. Durso punches Latin and goes for the Assassin's thigh. That will just be the start of attention on the leg.
Blanchard scrapes Latin's eyes on the top rope. He claws at Latin's mouth. He goes for another pin. Latin is up at two. More choking until Latin battles back. The onslaught on Latin continues and he falls to the mat. Blanchard bodyslams him. Latin is up at two. He applies the sleeper. Latin gets out and lands a side suplex. Exhausted, Latin lays on the mat and is attacked by Durso on the outside again.
Then Blanchard's prolonged attack on Latin's right knee starts. Durso yells for his student to “break it off.” He tries.
Blanchard then goes after the left knee.
The crowd does not appreciate Blanchard's tactics. Blanchard drops his knee on Latin's left knee. He slaps on the Figure Four and Latin screams.
After what have seemed like an eternity for Latin, he was able to reverse the submission move and force a break.
Latin blasts Blanchard with a DDT. Latin screams that his “knee is broken.” Latin crawls onto Blanchard for a pin attempt. At 2 ½, Blanchard kicks up. Those in the audience gasp. Both are slow in getting up.
Somehow, Latin musters the strength to hits Blanchard with a snap suplex. Latin cries out in agony. Blanchard crawls over and attempts a pin on Latin. He's up at two. Latin gets Blanchard in a small package. Blanchard is up at two.
The Krazies cheer Latin on. Blanchard goes after Latin's right knee. Both Megastars fall to the outside. Blanchard digs at Latin's face. On the outside, referee Jimmy James is trying to keep Durso in order while Blanchard attacks Latin.
Blanchard attempts to pile drive Latin on the concrete floor, but Latin flips him over instead, causing a loud thud.
Blanchard chops Latin. Latin rolls back in. Blanchard goes after the challenger's knee again. Blanchard heart-punches Latin. Latin goes down but kicks up after a 2 ½ count. Blanchard snap mares Latin into a reverse chin lock.
The Latin Assassin will not quit. Latin powers out. He whips Blanchard into the corner, where he is catapulted over the top turnbuckle and onto the apron, where he is met with Latin's clothesline.
The crowd is shouting Spanish cheers toward Latin. In the action, Jimmy James goes down. Blanchard misses with a spinebuster attempt. Latin hits Blanchard with a terrific Flying Lariat. All three men, spent, are down. Latin is the first to stir. He is up to his feet. He lands a big elbow from the middle turnbuckle. He's ready for the pin.
Lou Martin rushes to the ring, wooden chair in hand. He's ready to wallop Latin. Double-A Anthony Alexander follows a few steps behind Lou. He grabs the chair before Martin can use it.
Alexander and Latin embrace. They confab about what to do next.
WHEN ALEXANDER HITS THE LATIN ASSASSIN WITH THE PRIME TIME CANCELLATION!
They roll Blanchard over Latin, spur Jimmy James and watch as he counts to three. The winner and still KSWA World Champion is “The Enforcer” Shawn Blanchard.
Alexander takes off his tee shirt to unveil a VIP tee shirt. They threesome, soon joined by Durso and Shane Starr, take their aggressions out on Latin as they are pelted with flyers and programs.
The Krazies left irate.