Mercenaries Shock The Krazies, Rivalry Between Blanchard And Latin Assassin Grows
October 4, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
“Big” Mike Malachi and the seven-foot-tall Jack Massacre went into their showdown with the Mercenaries as the second-longest reigning tag team champions in Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) history. After facing Mercenaries on October 3, Party Gras still holds the record and is considered the great tag team in the organization’s history.
Del Douglas and Lou Martin v. The Jester and Lord Zoltan
Lou Martin and Del Douglas come to the ring, followed by their opponents, The Jester and Lord Zoltan. Zoltan is wearing Douglas’ crown and velvet robe after stealing the items off of him in recent months. Referee Justin Smith is ready for the dancing and carousing to end with Jester and Zoltan. The dancing duo comes to the ring to “Let’s Get This Party Started” by Pink. The crowd, which somehow is polluted with crowns from a fast-food franchise, chants “Burger King” and then “Garbage Pants.” Jester and Zoltan have a hard time deciding in which corner they want to start. They go from corner to corner, making angry the always salty Douglas and Martin. Zoltan starts off again Douglas. There’s a thunderous “Zoltan” chant. Zoltan, in turn, fires up the crowd with various chants. Zoltan and Douglas start off with one-hand test of strength. Zoltan gains and upper hand and wrenches Douglas’ wrist. He gets Douglas down to one knee. The crowd chants “Burger King” again. At the two minute mark, the Jester is tagged in. He goes after the same wrist. Martin cries out that “it’s not fair,” but there’s nothing against that. The former tag team champs collide in the center of the ring and Zoltan is tagged in once again. Martin has still not seen any action. Zoltan pump handles Douglas’ arm. Martin is furious at ringside. Zoltan drops Douglas down onto his back. Martin rushes in and Zoltan drops him. Jester joins in and they face painted crew row boats Douglas and Martin’s legs. Jester leads the crowd with a song of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” A knee drop is followed by a two count. Douglas rallies and tags in Martin at the 4:30 mark. Immediately, Douglas back in on Jester. He rolls Jester up in a sharpshooter, but Jester breaks it. Jester tries to get to Zoltan, but Douglas grabs him and tags in Martin instead. Martin is relentless on Jester. He continues the beat down on Jester by placing him on the middle rope. Martin dives on Jester and gets a two count. The pounding continues on Jester. Douglas shouts at fans at ringside. Martin drops him in a side suplex. Two count. Douglas is tagged in and gets a chop on Jester. Douglas drops his former ward. Douglas buries a leg in Jester’s forehead. Zoltan is back in. Douglas and Martin double team Jester while Smith is distracted. Douglas clotheslines Jester. Two count. Jester fights back with chops on Douglas. Douglas knees Jester and tags in Martin. Jester cross body blocks Martin. Two count. Both Megastars are spent. Jester is up. Martin tags Douglas. Jester tags Douglas with a kick to the head. Both men are down. Smith starts the count. Martin and Zoltan await. Douglas tags Martin and Jester tags Zoltan. He hits everyone with lefts. Both Douglas and Martin are in the corners for 10 count punches to the head. They are wrecked together. Jester goes up top as Douglas falls to the outside. Douglas for his crown. Zoltan follows. Jester lands the frog splash on Martin for the win! In the ring, Zoltan puts the crown and Douglas’s velvet robe on Jester and the crowd approves!
Jay Flash v. Justin Sane
The bell rings and Jay Flash is threatening to slap and kick fans. Justin Sane is ready to pounce. Justin goes for the wrist lock and drops Flash to the mat. Sane throws Flash in the bottom corner post. Justin goes out and pulls on Flash’s arm. Sane jumps back in and slides Flash back in and back into the wrist lock. Justin goes old school on Flash’s arm and sends him across the canvas. Flash rallies and quickly gets Sane into a head lock and a DDT. Flash misses with a super kick. Sane nearly rolls him up. Sane follows that up with a stunner and Flash rolls to the apron. Flash recovers and drops Sane. He nearly gets a three count on Sane. Flash jumps back up and drops a series of elbows on his opponent. There’s another two and a half count. Flash sets Sane up in the middle ropes. Flash flips over the top lands a devastating move. Justin kicks out at two. Sane follows up with head scissors. Flash continues to keep Sane down on the mat. Sane picks him up and drives Flash in the corner. He follows that up with two clotheslines. Flash is in the corner. Sane follows with a series of right hands to Flash’s head. Flash powers out but Sane stops him. Sane rains fists at Flash. Flash drops Sane and then tosses him into the corner. There’s a strong kick out of a power bomb by Sane. Flash is readying for the kick to the head. Sane is up. Flash, who is much faster, grabs Sane and drives him into the corner. Sane is posted on the top rope. Flash readies for a Super Plex. Sane blocks it and pushes Flash aside. Sane lands a flying face plant. Sane wobbles to the corner. He’s up for the frog splash. Flash is motionless. Sane lands it hard but both men are spent. Smith starts the count. Sane covers him but Flash kicks out at two. Sane calls for an unprecedented second frog splash. It’s going to be a hard one to land. Flash is up quickly and blocks it. Flash races in the corner and punches Sane. He lifts and plants Sane in to the corner. Flash kicks Sane who is attempting to dive from the top corner. Flash covers Sane and gets the pin.
Latin Assassin Comes To The Ring
The Latin Assassin comes to the squared circle and gives some biographical history of himself and his relationship with the KSWA. He talks about how he loves the organization and how it helped him become the man he is. The touching and heartwarming declaration is interrupted by KSWA Champion Shawn Blanchard. Blanchard and Latin get into each other’s faces. The two have had a long history as friends and rivals in the KSWA. Latin even was a member of the VIPs at one time. Blanchard cuts Latin’s story off, and challenges Latin to admit why he hasn’t been cleared by a doctor to return to action. Latin admits that he has had “four concussions.” He says he continues to look for a doctor to let him return, but he is “getting froggy” at Shawn Blanchard’s antics. KSWA Owner Bobby O races to the ring and pulls the Megastars apart and says that this “can’t happen this way.” Bobby settles tensions as Blanchard continues to call out Latin. They go their separate ways in the end. The entire segment has an incredible rush of emotion and passion.
Number One Contender’s Match: Deeds (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Kash and Starr (w/Bobby O)
The ovation for Kash and Starr deafening. Mayor Mystery tries to get Bobby O removed from ringside. He claims that Bobby Badfingers and J-Ru, collectively known as “Deeds,” continue to get the shaft when it comes to their matches. Once action starts, Kash and Starr attack Deeds in the corner. They fall to the outside where Kash dives on top of him. Kash whips J-Ru into the corner for a series of splashes and a tilt-a-whirl drop kick in the corner. Starr is tagged in and he kicks J-Ru and then starts on the wrist. Starr tags in Kash. He flies high and drops an arm on J-Ru rush. There’s a drop kick and a pin attempt. Kash tosses J-Ru out and dives on him. Kash jumps up and points at Mayor Mystery, who is attempting to influence the situation. Kash rolls J-Ru back in and gets a two count. Starr is tagged in and he bodyslams J-Ru, not once but twice. Kash is tagged in for a leg drop. Two count. Kash and Starr both thought it was a three count, but it wasn’t. J-Ru catches Kash in an attempt at a leg scissors but that went into a J-Ru led power bomb. Badfingers is tagged in for some offense on Kash. With the ref distracted, Deeds goes after Kash. Mystery goes after Kash and that forces Bobby O to go after him. J-Ru shoulder blocks Kash in the corner. That’s were Mystery resumes his poking of the cane into the ribs. Badfingers is back in and he lures Starr into the ring. That’s enough to distract the ref and go after Kash some more. Deeds double teams Kash in the center of the ring. There’s a kick out at two as Badfingers goes for the pin on Kash. Badfingers gets Kash into a sleeper hold. Starr leads a “Kash” chant from the apron. Badfingers clotheslines Kash, who was trying to rally. Smith slaps the canvas twice with his left hand. J-Ru buries a shoulder in Kash’s abdomen. J-Ru tosses Kash. Kash avoids a splash. Kash drops J-Ru down to the mat. Starr is eager to get in. J-Ru receives a series of severe chops in the chest. J-Ru clubs Kash and then hits him viciously in the chest. Badfingers goes after Starr. J-Ru chokes Kash and rams his head into the turnbuckle. Kash reverse dives out of the corner and into Badfingers. Both men are down. Kash tags Starr and Badfingers tags J-Ru. Starr is on both members of Deeds. He nearly gets a three count on J-Ru. All four men are in the ring. Mystery and Bobby O follow. Bobby O levels Mystery with a huge clothesline. Kash gets J-Ru in a Figure Four and Starr slaps Badfingers in the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter. Bobby O grabs Mayor Mystery in Camel Clutch. All three men tap out! The winners and new Number One Contenders for the tag team championship are Kris Kash and Shane Starr.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: Mercenaries (w/Mayor Mystery) v.
Big and Bigger (champions)
“Big” Mike Malachi and Jack Massacre go “Rock, Paper, Scissors” as a way to decide who starts. Massacre goes up against Sniper. Sniper has had good showings in recent matches against Malachi, so this benefits Massacre right off. Sniper can’t stay off the ropes. Massacre answers with a tremendous splash on Sniper in the corner. Sniper rolls outside as Mayor Mystery gives sage advice. Malachi is in against the fresh Nick Crane. A test of strength easily goes to Malachi. He lowers Crane’s hands down to the mat where he stomps them. The old trick forces Crane into the corner and the embrace of Mayor Mystery. Mystery checks Crane’s hands before allowing him to continue. Malachi shoulder blocks Crane down. There’s a huge bodyslam on the 265 lb Crane. Massacre is in and the thud from the bodyslam echoes throughout the arena. Massacre legs Crane in a leg lock and then lets him loose. Sniper is tagged back in. He points toward Malachi, but Massacre won’t make the tag. Massacre wants the Mercenary for a positioning in the corner. He clubs Sniper with a big chop and Sniper falls into another corner for a procession of over the hand chops. A double clothesline follows. Malachi suplexes Sniper. Shoulder is up on two as Sniper kicks out. The champs toss Sniper into the ropes and hit a back elbow. Massacre stands on Sniper’s chest twice. He’s about out of it. Malachi and Massacre manhandle Sniper into a corner. Sniper low blows his opponents to get out of that fix. Crane is back in and he goes to work on Malachi’s leg. Crane bends Malachi’s leg. Malachi kicks out on two. Sniper is back in and he wrenches Malachi’s leg back. Malachi screams in pain as the Mercenaries contain the offense. Malachi tags in Massacre. Sniper bails to the outside, prompting an eight count. Sniper rolls in and then out. Smith starts the count again. Sniper is out until eight again. Malachi goes around the corner to encourage Sniper’s participation in the match. Crane is in. Massacre clotheslines and chops him. There’s a whip into the corner. Mayor Mystery is all over Malachi. Crane and Sniper go after Massacre’s leg against the corner post. Sniper attacks Malachi from behind on the outside. All four men are on the outside. Sniper rolls Malachi back in. Sniper, like sands through an hourglass, slowly moves Malachi into a crab-like submission move. Mystery is back in. He gets ready to powder Malachi with his cane. Jay Flash comes out of nowhere and hits Malachi in the knee. Malachi goes down. Hard. The ref was distracted with action away from the ring. He races in to see the carnage as Sniper covers Malachi for the win. The winners and NEW KSWA tag team champions are the Mercenaries! Massacre rolls Malachi to safety and slides behind the celebrating champions and manager. Mayor Mystery turns around and into Massacre’s clutches. He powerbombs Mayor Mystery in the center of the ring and leaves.
Harley T. Morris comes to the ring
Harley T. Morris comes to the ring with “The Mad Genius” David Marbell. Both men wonder aloud how Mitch Napier can be the 5-Star Champion and Morris isn’t that title holder. They talk about Mitch being a great Megastar, but how Morris is better. Mitch arrives through the front door wearing a non-descript, black hoodie. He enters the ring and KSWA Kommissioner “Gentleman” Joe Perri decides that he will serve as the guest referee for this contest.
Five Star Championship: Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Mitch Napier (champion)
The match starts and Harley T. Morris explodes on Napier. The action is fast and furious as Morris looks like a formidable foe for Napier. Morris drops a big leg on Napier, who is draped on the apron. Morris attempts a second pin and gets two. Marbell unloads on Napier as Perri is distracted. Napier reverses a whip but Morris is on fire. He drop kicks Mitch in the corner for another two count. Morris measures Napier for another leg drop. There’s a front face lock that Morris turns into a crab move of sorts. Mitch, the Greco Roman expert, rolls out of it, but that doesn’t stop a knee to the side. Napier is reeling like rarely before. Napier reverses the move and gets up to the top rope and lands a picture perfect cross body block. Napier suplexes Morris out of the corner and gets to his feet. Morris is nearly out. There’s a standing drop kick that sends Morris flying. Napier goes for the Sioux Falls Slam but misses it. Morris lands one of his own. There’s a two and a half count. Marbell shouts for Morris to finish Napier but he misses a spear. Napier rolls into an ankle lock and Morris immediately taps out. Napier is your winner.
KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Kaida v. Blanchard (champion)
The introductions are made. Justin Smith is your referee. The two lock up and quickly break. They lock up again and Kaida forces Blanchard into the corner. It’s a clean break and they lock up a third time. Blanchard rolls Kaida along the rope and into the corner. Blanchard breaks, perhaps not cleanly, and Blanchard races across the ring and into the loving confines of the corner ropes. Once in the center of the ring, Blanchard goes for Kaida’s knee. He quickly forces the opponent into the ropes and Blanchard unloads a series of shots. Kaida is forced down and a two count is recorded. Blanchard goes for Kaida’s trapezius muscles. Blanchard wrenches Kaida’s arms back. Kaida uses his momentum to reverse the move and forces Blanchard down to his knees. Blanchard kicks Kaida low, but the referee doesn’t see it. Blanchard rakes Kaida’s eyes over the top rope. He follows that with a straight right hand. Blanchard hits three German Suplexes on the much larger Kaida. Two count. Blanchard picks him up and misses with a clothesline. He gets into position for his patented suplexes but Blanchard fights it off. He drops Kaida down and gets a two count. Blanchard takes time out to ridicule the crowd. Kaida checks his forehead. Blanchard strikes down on Kaida and admonishes Smith for caring about the match. The ref is distracted by fans and Blanchard goes low on Kaida. Blanchard gets Kaida into a sleeper hold. Kaida tries to battle out. Smith counts Kaida’s dropping hand twice. Kaida rallies around the cheers of the crowd and gets some momentum on Blanchard. Kaida suplexes Blanchard down. Blanchard gets his boot on the bottom rope. Kaida gets up and motions that the match is about over. The Krazies are cheering for him loudly. Kaida is about to make the pin when Lou Martin rushes in and attacks Kaida and the referee. The beat down from the VIPs on Kaida is on when suddenly, out of nowhere, The Latin Assassin races to the ring and starts peppering Blanchard and Martin. He clears the ring, Referee Justin Smith calls for a disqualification and win for Kaida. The evening ends with Latin Assassin and Kaida weary about shaking hands, but they ultimately do. They then celebrate the center of the ring as the night comes to a conclusion.