Zoltan Is Recognized And Wins Ferraro Tourney, Kash Can’t Catch A Break In Sharpsburg

November 7, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

The “Face of Pittsburgh,” Golden Triangle Champion “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin promised to repeat as Mario Ferraro Sr. Memorial Tournament Winner, but fate had something else in store. It turned out that Lord Zoltan, who was officially recognized by the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) used that motivation to turn in an inspired performance in the finals of the fundraiser. Meanwhile, KSWA World Heavyweight Champion Shawn Blanchard, who is arguably the most important title holder in professional wrestling, used that distinction to definitively defeat not one, but two challengers.

Mario Ferraro Sr. Memorial Tournament (first round match): “King” Del Douglas v. Lord Zoltan

Lord Zoltan dances his way around Sharpsburg before the match begins. “Come on, Sharpsburg,” is Zoltan’s refrain as the match begins. The legendary Zoltan uses Douglas’ cape like a matador to make “The King” look foolish. Once action officially started, Zoltan began by synching in an arm bar. Zoltan starts the “Yes, No” count as he keeps the offense on Douglas. Zoltan gets Douglas in a corner for some punishment. When he goes for a third attempt as a running splash, he is met with a back elbow that floors Zoltan. That allows Douglas the opportunity to put some kicks to Zoltan. Douglas puts a boot to Zoltan’s throat as he lies inside the apron. It’s more Douglas as he pounds on Zoltan’s midsection. Douglas goes after Zoltan with a splash but misses. He falls to the mat where Zoltan rolls him up with a pin. Zoltan moves onto the finals.

State proclamation

KSWA Owner Bobby O and Kommissioner Gentleman Joe Perri enter the ring with Zoltan. Bobby O reads a proclamation from state Representative Bill Kortz from suburban Pittsburgh. The proclamation from the State House of Representatives recognizes that the KSWA acknowledges Zoltan’s 40 years in the professional wrestling business. The proclamation is met with a large reaction.

Mario Ferraro Sr. Memorial Tournament (first round match): Bobby Badfingers v. Lou Martin

There’s no Mayor Mystery to be found this event. The two wrestlers lock up and the bigger Badfingers pushes Martin into a corner. Martin is down on the mat and Badfingers chokes him. Martin rebounds and goes to work on Badfingers in the corner. There’s a series of punches and kicks that take the wind out of Martin’s sails. Badfingers is draped in the ropes for Martin’s leg splash. Martin drops a leg on Badfingers and nearly gets the pin on Badfingers. Martin uses his cardio advantage on Badfingers by keeping the action fast and furious. Martin drops a leg on Badfingers as referee Justin Smith tells him to watch his actions. There’s a two count as Badfingers gets his shoulder up. Badfingers, out of nowhere, drops an F-5 on Martin but fails to make a timely pin. Badfingers is ready. Badfingers charges into the corner post and Martin lands the Death Certificate. Martin covers Badfingers and gets the win.

KSWA Heavyweight Title: Justin Sane and Kris Kash v. Shawn Blanchard (Triple Threat Match)

KSWA Kommissioner, Gentleman Joe Perri makes a stunning pre-match announcement: the Special Guest Referee is The Latin Assassin! The bell rings in this Triple Threat Match and Sane and Kash double team the champion. Kash drops a tilt a whirl drop kick and gets a one-count. He is kicked off and Justin Sane goes for a pin. He also gets a one-count. Blanchard and Kash trade chops before Sane levels Blanchard with a clothesline. The veteran, Blanchard rebounds and tosses Kash outside and drops Sane down inside it. Blanchard ties Sane to the Tree of Woe and drops Kash on top of him. Blanchard clotheslines Kash down as Sane is in the middle of the ring. Blanchard hits Kash with a spine buster and gets a two count. Blanchard is on fire as he dispatches of Kash and goes after Sane. He drags Sane’s face over the top rope that drops him with a questionable kick. Blanchard goes after Kash but he springs out of the corner with a spinning body splash. Sane tries to get a pin but Sane breaks it up. Soon, Kash and Sane are going at it and Kash drops Sane with a drop kick. Two count. Sane is tossed outside and Kash hits Blanchard with a head scissors. Blanchard goes to his knees and hits Kash with an elbow below the belt. Kash is posted in the corner. Sane is on the outside. Latin asks him how he’s feeling. Sane crawls back in and is tossed out again. Blanchard hits Kash with a big super plex. Sane takes advantage and lands a frog splash. Before the three count is made on Kash, Blanchard breaks it up. Bobby O takes bottle of water from ringside and uses it to revive Kash. Kash and Sane double drop kick Blanchard. Kash hits Sane with a Twist of Fate. Blanchard breaks up the pin. Blanchard pile drives Kash on Sane’s crotch and pins Sane for the win. Blanchard then tosses both Megastars out of the ring. Latin refuses to raise Blanchard’s hand. Blanchard demands that he does it. Perri forces Latin back in and he reluctantly raises Blanchard’s hand and gives him the belt. The fans rain boos on this action. The two go at physically before Faime and Martin rush the ring. Shane Starr soon comes out to even up the Latin/Starr team against Blanchard and Martin. Bobby O comes out to counter Tommy Faime’s involvement.

KSWA Five Star Championship: J-Ru v. Mitch Napier (champion)

The two evenly-sized Megastars lock up. J-Ru gets Napier in a headlock. J-Ru uses great leverage to keep Napier at bay. J-Ru uses a series of headlocks to keep Napier grounded and then onto the apron. This technical advantage is new for J-Ru as Napier has always been the most technically-sound Megastar. Just as soon as that happens, Napier tosses J-Ru in off the apron the hard way. J-Ru, perhaps smartly, bails to the outside. He grabs a chair and tosses it at the mat after Napier threatens to dive onto him. Once inside the ring, J-Ru is hip tossed around. Napier gets J-Ru into the corner after a drop kick. Napier goes for a splash but misses. J-Ru hits him with a splash instead. Napier is tossed into a corner. J-Ru goes for a clothesline but Napier dashes out of the way. German Suplex is followed by a pin attempt. J-Ru huddles on the apron as Mitch gets oxygen. J-Ru slowly gets to his feet, reserving energy and oxygen. There’s a drop toe hold and then a front face lock from Napier. Smith asks if J-Ru gives up. He doesn’t. J-Ru goes low on Napier to slow him down. Mitch fights out of it. He tries for the Souix Falls Slam but J-Ru gets out of it. Mitch lands his next attempt. J-Ru gets to the ropes. Napier gets the ankle lock. J-Ru tries to fight by holding onto the bottom rope. Smith kicks him off. J-Ru taps to the ankle lock. The winner and still 5-Star Champion is Mitch Napier. Napier poses for the crowd and then leaves.

Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Shane Starr

Sharpsburg’s favorite son comes to the ring after Marbell and Morris. Justin Smith checks out all the participants, the bell rings, and action begins. Morris gets to a corner post to gauge applause. He gets none. Starr says he will show “how it’s done,” gets to the top, gets great applause, and then is attacked from behind by Morris. Morris has early control of the contest but Starr powers out for a wrist lock. Marbell grabs Starr’s foot from ringside and that’s enough to pause Starr’s advance. Starr drops Morris with a series of shoulder blocks. There’s a two count. Smith warns Marbell about getting involved. Starr drops Morris and gets a two count. Marbell interferes, Starr chases him at ringside. Marbell climbs back in and Starr is met with a spinning clothesline. A two count soon follows. Morris stands on Starr’s locks of hair. Morris admonishes fans at ringside. Starr gets to his knees and battles back. Starr continues with punches to the midsection. Morris drops Starr and gets a two count. Then there’s another attempt. Morris gets Starr in a headlock. Starr gets to his feet, drives elbows into Morris stomach but gets nowhere. Starr misses a splash and Morris hits a back stabber. Two count again. Morris loads up a boot but misses a clothesline instead. Starr lands a barrage of clotheslines. He posts Morris on the top turnbuckle. Superplex time. Both Megastars are dazed. Starr goes for the pin. At two and three quarters, Morris gets his shoulder up. Starr is up to a knee as Morris crawls to his feet. The fans’ shouts for Starr are defeaning. Shining Wizard from Starr. After a hard fought battle, Starr gets the win. Marbell at ringside is irate.

KSWA Tag Team Championship: Jester and Massacre v. The Mercenaries (champions)

The fans in attendance shout “USA, USA” and that bothers the Mercenaries. The bell rings and The Jester starts off with Nasty Nick Crane. “USA, USA” bounces off off the fire hall walls. The Jester prances around the ring and Crane is appalled by his actions. Crane gets a wrist lock on Jester but then Jester gets advantage. Jester slaps slaps Crane on the behind with an open hand. Nick doesn’t like that. Jester puts Crane’s head into his arm pit. Crane doesn’t like that. Crane slaps Jester and tags in Sniper. Jester drops Crane with a clothesline. Jack Massacre is tagged in at the two minute mark he goes right after Sniper with tremendous offense. Massacre suplexes Sniper and tags Jester back in. They row boat Sniper’s legs before Jester goes on the offense. He drops a knee onto Sniper’s chest and there’s a two count. A tag is made by Sniper onto Crane and he goes to work on Jester. Sniper, on the apron, drives Jester’s throat into the top rope. Smith is distracted by Massacre on the apron. Crane goes after Jester’s eyes. A clothesline drops Jester. Two count. Jester is eager to tag Massacre. Crane tags Sniper and he lays a fist into Jester’s head. Sniper drops Jester to the mat. Crane is tagged in. There’s a double elbow as the Mercenaries change legal men. Crane gets Jester into a rear choke hold. The fans shout “USA, USA.” Crane drops a knee into Jester’s midsection. Crane tags Sniper back in. The Mercenaries, who have been tagging together for years, are a much better cohesive unit than Jester and Massacre. Jester replaced an advertised “Big” Mike Malachi, who cancelled his appearance late in the event day. Jester makes it to Massacre and both Mercenaries are in the ring. Sniper is kicked to the outside. Crane is dropped with a headbutt. Jester is tagged in and he drops a reverse splash onto Crane. Jester goes to the top rope. J-Ru and Bobby Badfingers arrive at ringside. J-Ru hits Jester with a trash can. “Deeds” then leave. Nasty Nick rolls over onto Jester and Smith makes the three count. The winners and still KSWA tag team champions: The Mercenaries. Massacre checks on The Jester and helps him to his feet.

Mario Ferraro Sr. Memorial Tournament Finals: Lou Martin v. Lord Zoltan

Lord Zoltan comes to the ring to the Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar” and the legend dances with each of the 200 plus in attendance. The bell rings and Lord Zoltan has Lou Martin’s patented baseball bat hidden in his ring pajamas. Martin is down and Zoltan drops a knee into his abdomen, or perhaps lower. Zoltan may have grabbed a wrench as Martin took a breather to the outside. Tommy Faime distracts the referee as Lord Zoltan uses the wrench to pepper Martin’s midsection. Zoltan uses the wrench to choke Martin as Faime is beside himself at ringside. Zoltan grabs the wrench again and smacks Lou in the midsection, or lower. Zoltan smashes Martin’s jewels into the corner ring post. He does it again. Martin lies motionless in the corner. Lord Zoltan pulls Martin out into the center of the ring. Zoltan kicks Martin in the groin once again. Martin is seated on the apron and Zoltan digs at his face. Faime checks on his ward and Zoltan pulls Martin into the center of the ring. Zoltan goes after Faime and that allows Martin to attack from behind. Faime then attacks. Martin goes to punch Zoltan. He ducks. Martin punches Faime off of the apron and Zoltan rolls Martin up for the surprising pin. The Krazies in attendance go bonkers as Martin fails to repeat as tournament winner.

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