Lost Boys Find Gold, Kash Makes Cavalcade History, “West Virginia Dad” Breaks In At FanFest

December 6, 2015
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

For a decade, Kris Kash has fallen just short of Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) immortality. That changed in one swonton swoop at FanFest on December 5. In other developments, “King” faced the future of his beloved locks, and a West Virginia native returned to his roots via flag stick.

Jay Flash and Mystery Partner v. Mike Malachi and Mystery Partner

Flash’s tag team partner is “The Most Powerful Man in the KSWA,” Tommy Faime, while Malachi’s is the returning “Ice Man” Tony Johnson. When Johnson is introduced to the capacity crowd at the Teamster Temple, the place went absolutely insane. Johnson and Faime lock up and Johnson tosses the owner across the ring. After some consultation, Faime tags in Flash, who is promptly muscled into the corner and tossed to the apron by Johnson. The two former friends and now adversaries lock up again, with Johnson muscling Flash down into a reverse crab. Flash knocks Johnson down but not long enough for a pin. Flash gets Johnson down for a one count. There’s some distractions by Flash that get Johnson roughed up by Faime in the corner. They take that opportunity to keep Johnson down for a one count. Faime gets Johnson into his corner and Flash is tagged in. Flash distracts the ref and Malachi long enough to get Johnson pounded upon and down for a two count. Soon, all four Megastars are in the ring. Faime wraps Johnson’s leg around the ring post. Johnson is slowed down for a German Suplex by Flash. Flash readies for the super kick. Johnson rolls him up for a two count. Johnson gets Flash down and Faime is in. Johnson tries to get to Malachi but Faime block that move. Johnson is on the apron and Flash kicks him in the head while there. Faime pins Johnson for a two count. Malachi is eager to get in. Faime suplexes Johnson but there’s a kick out at two. Faime tags in Flash. Johnson tries to get to his corner. Flash flips off the ropes and kicks Faime by accident. Malachi is in to clean house. Malachi tosses Flash over his head. Malachi clubs Flash with a big punch. There’s a standing suplex that Malachi holds first for nearly 30 seconds. Malachi stands on the small of Flash’s back. Flash is in the corner. He grabs a pipe from ringside and whacks Malachi with it. Flash dives over the top rope and stomps on Malachi’s sternum. Malachi kicks up at two. Faime pulls Flash’s arms from outside with Flash has Malachi in a leg lock. Malachi gets a shoulder up on two pin attempts. Malachi is slow getting up in the opposition’s corner. They go for a double suplex; Malachi slips out of it and tags in Johnson, who is immediately double teamed by Flash and Faime. Johnson and Malachi are both tossed outside. Flash dives onto Malachi, who catches him and plants him in the ring post. Flash and Malachi battle on the outside. Johnson is in the ring with Faime looking outside. Johnson delivers a drop kick and scores the victory!

In the ring: Bobby O, Joe Perri and Special FanFest guest Hillbilly Jim. Bobby O also takes the opportunity to properly introduce returning guest Ring Announcer Lanny Frattare and featured guest, local actor Curt Wootton. Bobby and Joe talk to Hillbilly Jim coming to the KSWA. Jim says he loved wrestling at the “old civic arena” and he loved Primanti sandwiches. Hillbilly Jim promised he would be back later in the event.

KSWA Tag Team Championship: Mercenaries (w/Mayor Mystery) v. The Lost Boys (w/Bobby O)

Mayor Mystery threatens to leave with the Mercenaries. The count is started by referee David Fedor. They rush the Lost Boys and Kash and Starr leave their heads spinning as they fall to the floor and the open embrace of Mayor Mystery. Kash dives on all three men before tossing Sniper in. Starr is tagged in and he goes after Sniper’s wrist. Starr shoulder blocks Sniper down and pulls him into the corner where he tags Kash. There’s a double sledge on Sniper’s arm. Soon Sniper is able to gain momentum and tag in Crane. Mayor Mystery attacks Kash before Crane spins him around in a helicopter spin. Sniper is tagged in and keeps Kash down. Starr chants for Kash. Sniper pokes Kash in the eyes and superplexes him off the top rope. Kash is, incredibly, able to kick up at two. Crane is tagged back in and keeps Kash down with a pinch move. Kash battles up and flies off the ropes and into a Crane clothesline. Mayor Mystery continues to smash Kash while in the ropes. Bobby O tries to get David Fedor involved in that madness. Crane distracts Fedor while Mystery chokes Kash with a cane. Starr races into the ring and pushes Crane. That’s enough to draw Fedor’s attention. Starr is on the apron again and the chants of “USA, USA” erupt. Kash flips out of the corner and onto Crane. Fedor starts to count both men out. Kash gets to Starr, Crane gets to Sniper. Starr cleans house and double drop kicks the Mercenaries. The tag champs are tossed together. Kash goes to the top rope. He lands a flying dive on Sniper and collects the win! The NEW KSWA Tag Team Champions are Kris Kash and Shane Starr. After the match, Mystery gets in Bobby O’s face and the owner choke slams Mystery to thunderous applause from the Krazies!!

Golden Triangle Championship: Lou Martin (w/Tommy Faime) v. The Jester (w/Hillbilly Jim)

The fans are pleased to see fan favorite “The Jester” accompanied to the ring by Hillbilly Jim. The bell rings and the fans are solidly behind The Jester. Martin races to the ropes. The unorthodox Jester is in command during the early going with a headlock. Then Martin gets control. He pounds away the Jester and grabs the Jester’s expansive breasts. That hurt. That also angered the Jester, who suplexes Martin with great authority. Jester keeps the momentum and gets Martin down for a two count. Martin may have had something in his tights to level the score with some offense. There’s a two count on the Jester. Hillbilly Jim is doing a great job looking out for The Jester. Jester reverses a Death Certificate and flips Martin over. Then Jester plops right down on Martin’s chest. Both men are down with that. Jester is up first but clubbed down by Martin’s clothesline. Martin misses with a clothesline and Jester hits him with a kick to the head. Jester climbs to the top rope for a frog splash. Faime climbs to the apron. Hillbilly Jim meets him, grabs his leg and pulls Faime down. Faime gets into Hillbilly Jim’s face. Hillbilly Jim headbutts Faime. Meanwhile, Jester attempts to splash Martin but he’s caught with a RKO. Martin makes the cover and gets the win to retain and move onto the Championship Cavalcade.

Hair v. Crown. Del Douglas v. Lord Zoltan

Special Guest Ring Announcer Lanny Frattare does the introductions. Referee David Fedor checks Lord Zoltan and Del Douglas before the match is to take place. The bell rings and Douglas dashes to the outside. Fedor initiates the count out but Douglas gets in before the count goes to 10. Douglas leaves again and initiates another count. Douglas shouts, “Respect Your King” before getting back into the ring. Zoltan gets Douglas down in the corner and on the map. Fedor checks intently on Douglas, who is pinched with a Zoltan arm bar. Douglas is kept grounded by Zoltan until Douglas dashes to the outside. Zoltan follows. Once back inside, Douglas attacks Zoltan and has him in the ropes. Douglas pounds away at Zoltan in the corner. Douglas has Zoltan in the ropes and the corner. Zoltan comes out, chopping Douglas. Zoltan misses a splash and goes down hard onto Zoltan with the fist that’s “Banned in 49 out of the 50 states.” There’s two near pinfalls. Zoltan rolls out of a third. Douglas pounds away and the two collide in the center of the ring. It’s been a while since Zoltan has been physically manhandled like this. Douglas goes for his robe and he puts it on. Zoltan is punched down. Douglas grabs his crown. Zoltan clobbers Douglas with not one but two clotheslines. He applies the Sleeper Hold and Douglas is out cold. The winner is Lord Zoltan. All to the theme of the Broadway Musical “Hair,” Zoltan cuts Douglas’ royal locks. Zoltan tosses water in Douglas’ face to wake him up and “The King” is irate at his new, ragged haircut.

Flag Match: Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Justin Sane (w/Curt Wootton)

Referee Justin Smith sends the opponents to corners not featuring flags. Smith makes sure the opponents know the rules. Morris quickly pushes Justin and goes for the flag. Sane recovers quickly and drops him from the corner post. Sane keeps Marbell grounded with a wrist lock. Wootton shouts constant encouragement to Sane. Sane climbs the top rope and drops a fist from that position. Sane gets Marbell down on the mat. Marbell kicks with his legs for leverage. Justin drapes Morris’ arm over the top rope. Sane drops from the apron onto the floor. Morris is dropped down again. Wootton keeps his eye on Sane while shouting encouragement. Morris goes for the flag again but Sane stops him. Morris drops a leg on Sane. Morris tosses Sane to the floor and near Wootton who helps out. Morris gingerly goes for the flag. Wootton actually goes to the apron in an attempt to distract Morris. Wootton chases the Mad Genius to the other side of the ring. Sane dives onto Morris on the outside to the delight of hundreds. Morris drives Sane’s head into the corner post. The offense is grueling as Morris continues to beat on Sane on the apron and in the ring. Morris goes for the West Virginia flag but Justin stops him again. Sane misses with a big punch and Morris drops Sane with a back breaker. Morris goes again but Sane grabs his ankle. Morris saunters as Sane rolls around. Morris posts Sane into the corner post. Wootton chases Marbell from the action. Morris goes for a powerbomb but Justin breaks the hold. He clotheslines Morris twice. He misses with a third. Morris picks him up for an Olympic Slam. Morris argues with Wootton instead of going for flag. When he does, Wootton grabs his leg. Wootton defends Sane and chases Marbell away again. Marbell is on the apron. Marbell grabs baby powder and goes to toss it into Sane’s face. He misses completely hits Morris instead. That allows Sane the time to drop a leg and grab the flag. Then, out of nowhere, Wootton attacks Sane with the flag pole. Wootton breaks the PITT flag pole over Justin’s back. The enraged crowd booed and hissed. He dances and celebrates with Morris and Marbell. They prance around for a while before leaving for the locker room. Justin wakes up, pushes referees aside, kicks the ring ropes, tosses a tantrum and then leaves through the front door, not to return.

Championship Cavalcade: KSWA Heavyweight Champion Shawn Blanchard v. Lou Martin, Kris Kash, Shane Starr and Mitch Napier

The Latin Assassin is announced as the Special Guest Enforcer for this match. The rules are simple: whoever makes the pin on any opponent gets the win. When the bell rings, few times in KSWA history has a match started with such chaos. As soon as four of the five participants are announced, Kris Kash races in to attack Blanchard. He gets a quick two-count before Blanchard kicks up. Mitch Napier is the final contestant in the match. Blanchard bails and Kash goes after Martin. Blanchard, Martin, Napier and Starr are on the outside when Kash dives from the top turnbuckle onto them. The pace of this match throughout was spectacular. Blanchard interferes and drops Kash with a big spinebuster. At one point, Martin and Blanchard both drop elbows on Kash, leading to an awkward exchange between the two. The action continues to be fast and furious with Napier getting involved and Starr attacking Martin with a series of leg drops. Blanchard tosses Starr into Napier. Blanchard and Kash proceed to beat on each other. Martin goes after Blanchard with punches. Starr nearly rolls up Martin. Napier attacks Martin from the apron. Blanchard is whipped into the corner. He goes over the top and onto the apron. Kash levels him with a clothesline. Martin and Napier go at it. Starr punches Martin in the head. Kash and Blanchard chop Napier on the outside. Napier head butts Kash. Blanchard and Martin go after Starr. Napier attacks both Martin and Blanchard. Starr gets Martin into the Sharpshooter. Blanchard kicks him in the head, breaking the hold. Blanchard extends his wrist tape and chokes Martin. The Krazies scream “That’s your friend.” Blanchard goes low on Kash. Napier hits him with a drop kick. Blanchard goes low on Napier. Blanchard tosses Napier and Martin out, as well as Starr. That leaves him and Kash. Blanchard hits suplexes on Kash, Martin and Starr, before landing three on Napier in successive fashion. Blanchard shouts, “Who’s the Man?” Kash drop kicks Blanchard. DDT on Kash. Wizard on Martin. Slam on Martin by Napier. Blanchard pile drives Napier. He pile drives Martin He pile drives Starr. He goes to piledrive Kash. Latin Assassin hustles in and clotheslines Blanchard. Kash climbs to the top of the rope at the corner post and swonton dives on Blanchard. He quickly makes the cover and Fedor counts to three. The winner and new KSWA World Champion is Kris Kash! Starr celebrates with Kash, who is now a tag team champion and world heavyweight champion. The Latin Assassin is also in, as is KSWA Owner Bobby O. They celebrate Kash winning as the night comes to a conclusion.

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