August 14, 2011
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
Keystone State Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Champion Ali Kaida faced his most daunting challenge to date when he took on the surging Mitch Napier in front of a packed KSWA Arena. KSWA Owner Bobby O also promised a ground-breaking announcement, and by all accounts, he succeeded on August 13. The KSWA also hosted a unique match called "City Council Wrestling," in conjunction with the Mattress Factory of Contemporary Art in Pittsburgh.
Bonus Match: Johnny Ax v. Jack Massacre
Before "When Worlds Collide" started, the KSWA presented a "bonus match" with two new faces. Hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, Johnny Ax made his way to the ring before the 7-foot-tall, 350-lb. Jack Massacre. Ax, who weighed in at 220 lbs at the beginning of the day, took the offense to the much-bigger Massacre in the early moments of the match. In fact the offense worked as Johnny nearly shocked and defeated Massacre with a roll up. Once down, Ax worked on Massacre's leg, thus keeping the big man off his feet. However, Massacre uses his strength to make his way to his feet. Once there, he plants Johnny Ax then drops a leg drop. Massacre follows that up with a bodyslam. There's a two-count on Ax as he continues on. Ax rallies and gets Jack in a front face lock. The two trades moves for several moments before Massacre got the moment to get Ax in the corner. Massacre flipped Ax from the top rope and gained a pin. The winner, Jack Massacre.
KSWA Tag Team Championship Douglas and Jester v. Sane and Zoltan
The Jester and Del Douglas make their way to the ring and launch into a tirade against the Krazies. Champions Justin Sane and Lord Zoltan come out to Sir Mix A Lot's "I Like Big Butts." Referee Jimmy James has a hard time with Sane and Zoltan. Sane and Jester start off the match. Sane makes Jester chase him around the ring. Zoltan walks on the apron from post to post. This confuses everyone, including the ref and Douglas. Justin bites Jester's "nails" according to Zoltan. Zoltan is tagged in. He wrenches Jester's wrist. Jester turns it over. Zoltan turns it again. The Krazies are beserk for Zoltan. Zoltan forces Jester down with an arm bar. Sane is tagged back in. Sane wrenches Jester's wrist and drapes his arm over the top rope. Justin continues to bite the Jester's hand. Zoltan is back in with the arm bar. Zoltan pulls Jester down, saying he "slipped." Zoltan contorts Jester's face. Douglas yells that "all Hell's breaking loose." Justin is tagged in. He gouges and bites The Jester. Jester breaks lose, pounds Justin and tags in Douglas. The King lands the fist from the middle rope. Douglas suplexes Sane. Douglas gets a two count on Sane. Jester is tagged back in. He lands a boot onto Sane. There's a two count. Douglas drapes Justin's throat over the middle rope as The Jester distracts Jimmy James. There's a two and a half count on Justin. Justin rolls over and tags in Zoltan. Zoltan knees Jester in the thigh. Zoltan boots Jester in the "Royal Jewels." Sane is tagged back in. Justin head butts Jester in the bread basket. Jester reaches up and gets Justin down. Douglas is tagged in. He goes for a quick pin on Sane. Royal Sharpshooter. Justin is slowly going out. At two he battles back. Douglas is dumped outside. He gets back in and starts hammering Justin. Justin ducks a clothesline but lands a double clothesline. Both men are down at the 11 minute mark. Jester is tagged, as is Zoltan. Double noggin knocker. Both challengers are in the corner. Each get a 10 count punch to the head. The are forced into each other. Douglas out. Sane goes to the top rope and lands Shock Therapy. One, two, three and Sane and Zoltan remain champs. King consoles Jester while Sane and Zoltan dance with the crowd.
Bobby O FanFest Announcement
KSWA Owner Bobby O made his way to the ring to announce what "legend" would make his way to FanFest on Saturday, December 3. Before he could make the announcement, former KSWA Champ The Latin Assassin interrupted the proceedings. Latin confronted Bobby O to say the he hasn't yet had his re-match for the KSWA World Heavyweight Championship. Bobby said that Latin would get his re-match at FanFest, the biggest event of the year. That brought out former 5-time KSWA Champ Shawn Blanchard (w/Advisor to the KSWA Frank Durso). Blanchard informed Bobby that he never had his rematch against Latin and now would like a shot at the gold, also at FanFest. Latin told him that they could wrestle right then and there. Blanchard said that since Latin didn't have a title, he wasn't going to wrestle him. Blanchard said that Latin still had some "VIP blood in you." That angered Latin. Bobby O said that The KSWA championship would be defendend at FanFest against The Latin Assassin and Shawn Blanchard. Everyone left the ring except for Shawn Blanchard, Bobby O and Frank Durso. Bobby added that the "original" and "unique" wrestler George "The Animal" Steele has been signed for FanFest. The Krazies went nutsy with that news. Durso was livid, Blanchard simply couldn't believe it.
KSWA Jr. Heavweight Championship Match Quervo v. Johnson
Joey Quervo comes out first. Then Johnson. Johnson shares a beer. Quervo suddlenly gets Johnson in an airplane spin and drops him for two. Another rally falls Johnson again. Another two count. Quervo drapes Johnson's throat over the middle rope. Johnson rallies with a clothesline that floors Quervo. Johnson goes for a knee drop but Joey moves. Quervo goes to work on Johnson's left leg. Johnson gets into the ropes. Referee Justin Smith makes him break the hold. Quervo drop kicks Johnson's leg. Quervo goes after the knee. Johnson battles back in the corner. Quervo breaks the hold at four in the corner. Johnson comes out with a modified spear and drops Quervo. Johnson bodyslams Quervo. Johnson still favors the left leg. Johnson goes to the top rope and drops a knee. Quervo kicks up at one. Johnson whips him into the ropes and catches him with a side slam. Drop kick. One, two, three on Joey Quervo. The winner and still the Jr. Heavyweight Champion: Tony Johnson! Quervo calls Johnson back in and extends his hand. Johnson hesitates but shakes his hand and leaves.
City Council Wrestling Battle Royal
Over the past few months, the KSWA worked in conjunction with local artist and activist Dawn Weleski to feature an eight-person "City Council Wrestling" match that featured characters with local political issues. The unique match included KSWA Megastars wrestling on behalf of an "issue." Each issue was represented by a character: Bam, Bam the Busman, Green Machine, Frannie the Anti-Fracking Farmer, The Target, The Tax Man, Misty Matters of the State, Sarah Shalin and Fractor the Impactor and Beast Buy. Each Megastar: Ric Rumsky, Tony Johnson, Joey Quervo, Lord Zoltan, Shawn Blanchard, Lou Martin, Del Douglas and The Jester participated for their "cause" respectively. After an incredibly ruckus response from the crowd, Lord Zoltan (for The Target big box store development) won when Lou Martin was dumped over the top rope.
Tag Team Match: Bad Blood v. Flash and Assassin
Bad Blood (without Mayor Mystery, who was suspended) enter the ring, then Jay Flash. Then The Latin Assassin. Latin v. Blood Beast. Latin gets a front face lock on Blood Beast. Then a wrist lock. Jay Flash is tagged in. A "Mayor Mystery" chant breaks out as some fans are disappointed that he isn't here. Blood Beast spins before landing a huge clothesline on Flash. Blood Beast continues to choke Jay. Beast distracts referee Justin Smith as Bobby Badfingers chokes Flash in the corner. Blood Beast then forces Flash in the corner whipping him in the ropes. Flash counters with a drop kick. Beast grabs Flash and goes for a choke slam. He doesn't completely land it. Flash gets into the ropes. Beast tags in Badfingers. The duo double suplexes Flash. Flash rebounds with damage on Badfingers. He goes for a pin that Beast breaks up. Jay Flash kicks Badfingers then gets him in a front face lock. Badfingers reverses it, and hip tosses Flash. Flash recovers and kicks Badfingers down. He cannonball slams Badfingers and goes for a pin. Blood Beast breaks it up. At the 6 minute mark, Flash gets to Latin and they double back elbow Badfingers down. Badfingers gets back up and kicks Latin. He goes for a neck breaker and a count of two. Latin is forced in the Legion's corner. Flash distracts Justin Smith as the double beat down continues. Beast is back in. He bodyslams Latin. Two count on the former KSWA Champ. Latin is whipped into the corner and Beast lands another spinning clothesline. Latin's shoulder is up before a pin attempt. There's a double clothesline and both men are down. Beast gets to Badfingers. Latin battles him. There's a sudden and convincing DDT. Latin is up. He puts the boots to Badfingers. Latin goes to the corner and prepares for the big elbow. He extends himself and lands it three-quarters across the ring. Flying Lariat plants Badfingers. While in the corner he tags Flash. Jay Flash gets to the top rope for a cannon ball. One, two, three and Flash and Latin are your winners.
Gentleman Joe Perri announces matches for Clash Against Cancer 2
8-Man Tag Match: VIPs & Canadian Perfection v. Kash, Starr, Best Tag Team Evaa
All eight men enter the ring, with Rumsky and Arcadian anchoring the teams. Referee Shawn Patrick tries to sort things out then calls for the bell. Shawn Blanchard and Alex Arcadian start off. Goulet slaps Arcadian in the back of the head as he passes too closely. Arcadian gets a head lock on Blanchard and hip tosses him. Arcadian grinds at Blanchard's next as the Enforcer battles up. Blanchard reverses the hold and floors Arcadain. Arcadian is up and he hip tosses Blanchard out of the ring, then Martin, then the Canadians. All four combatants are on the outside. Rumsky rests on the top rope until Blanchard is back in. He tags Drew Belanger as Rumsky specifically asks for him. Rumsky slaps Belanger then kicks him twice. Rumsky tags in Kris Kash. Kash whips him in for a splash then the tilt-a-whirl drop kick in the corner. Shane Starr is then in. He drop kicks Belanger then suplexes him, not before an impressive standing suplex. Starr tags Arcadian back in. Arcadian is a house a fire. Rumsky is back in with some offense. Then Kash. Kash drops Belanger for a two count. Goulet is in and he gets Kash down for a submission move. Goulet then drops Kash on his knee. Martin is tagged in and he goes to work on Kash. Martin tags in Blanchard. The fans chant "Garbage Pants" for Martin. Goulet uses the ropes on Kash as Shawn Patrick is distracted. Durso goes to work on Kash. Blanchard dances to taunt his opponents. Blanchard buries a knee in Kash's lower region. Supreme Power Bomb. Kash kicks out at two. Martin side suplexes Kash. Rumsky breaks up the count attempt. Goulet is in and puts pressure on Kash. Belanger is tagged back in. He whips Kash in the corner. Belanger goes for the pin. Starr breaks it up. Rumsky breaks up another pin attempt. Belanger buries a knee in Kash's throat. Belanger whips him into the corner and Kash vaults out onto Belanger. Both men struggle to their corner. Soon all eight men are in. The VIPs and Canadians fall to the outside. Martin gets Rumsky into the Death Certificate in the middle of the ring. One, two, three and Canadian Perfection and the VIPs win.
KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Napier v. Kaida
Mitch Napier follows Referee Jimmy James to the ring. Mitch stands seriously as the angry Afghani Assault Weapon waves the Afghanistan flag. The combatants feel each other out. Kaida uses a short cut to drop Napier. Napier takes him down and slams him in the head. Then Mitch buries the knee into Ali Kaida's right side. Mitch arm bars Kaida's right arm. Napier gets him down for a two count. Then Mitch goes for a submission move. Kaida tries to battle out but Mitch keeps him down. With technical wrestling, Napier is superior. Kaida has more power. Kaida gets his legs underneath him and lifts Napier into the corner. He goes for a spear but Mitch dukes and wraps him up in the ropes. Both are now on the outside. Napier lays in a series of fists. Then Mitch lands a European uppercut. Kaida is on the outside. Napier gets back in before attacking him on the outside. Napier measures for a dive onto the Afghani Assault Weapon on the outside. The Krazies go nuts. Back in, Napier rolls Kaida up for a couple of pin attempts. It's all Napier as he lays blows into Kaida. Kaida ralls and T-bone suplexes Napier from the corner. Napier is devastated by the move. Kaida gets him up. A thunderous "USA" chant bellows. Kaida levels Napier to the mat. Kaida is slow and powerful. He goes for a pin but Mitch gets into the ropes. Kaida slaps James for counting too slowly. Kaida is relentless as he goes after the neck. Kaida tosses Mitch to the mat and celebrates before the Krazies. He goes for another submission move on Napier. Napier tends to his eyes. Kaida catches him in an airplane spin-style move before planting him in the center of the ring. Mitch gets a shoulder up at two. Kaida lands a power bomb in the corner. Mitch is motionless. He goes for the Camel Clutch. Napier is close to the ropes and gets there. Kaida breaks the hold. Napier is slow getting up. Both men and in the corner. Mitch reverses a whip and lands a suplex. Napier slowly gets to the top ropes. Cross-body block. Two count on Kaida. Mitch hip tosses Kaida and holds onto the arm, and applies a submission move. Kaida is in the center of the ring. Kaida somehow uses his power to get out and gets a hold of Mitch's ankle. Mitch breaks the hold. Mitch is up, waiting for Kaida to stand. Napier splashes him in the corner and lands 10 punches. Kaida pushes him off. Napier does it again. Kaida staggers out and gets kicked in the back of the head. Both men are up. Napier with a cross-body block and two-count. Mitch gets Kaida in an arm submission move. Kaida will not give up. Both are up. Napier is whipped into the corner. Kaida gets him on his shoulders for a sitdown slam. Two count before Mitch gets his shoulder up. Mitch gets to the ropes. Kaida is caught in the Souix Falls Slam. He lands it. The Legion of the Apocalypse is out. Mitch dispatches them and is then caught in a T-bone suplex. Mitch won't give in. Two count. Mitch cannot continue and Jimmy James calls for the bell. The Legion, then Shawn Blanchard attack Mitch. The Latin Assassin rushes the ring and dispatches of all but Blanchard. He goes to give Blanchard the Flying Lariat but Blanchard ducks and Latin hits Mitch, laying him out. The Legion of the Apocalypse leaves, Blanchard drops to the floor and taunts Latin. Latin looks at Napier on the mat. Latin goes over, pulls Mitch up, then shoves him back down.