Controversy Abounds In Title Contest, Burke Flies To Victory, "Rookies" Best VIPS In Front Of 432 In Brackenridge
March 4, 2018
By Trapper Tom, Editor, KSWA Digest
The Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) Heavyweight Championship has never been more coveted than it is in 2018. The challengers have been bigger, badder and tougher at each go around for Mitch Napier. The two-time, current and reigning KSWA Champion found himself on thin ice in the challenge from “Big” Mike Malachi. In addition, “Double-A” Anthony Alexander found a difficult time in his defense against Harley T. Morris. Ryan Burke was “Flyin” High and T-Rantula had his hands full with an old foe as the KSWA witnessed well over 400 fans pack the Brackenridge Fire Department for a community fundraiser. That means that more than 1,000 fans saw KSWA action on three consecutive weekends (including two fundraisers) in February and March.
The VIPs and Bob Badfingers v. McGraw, McSorley and Yinza
The bell rings with referee Shawn Patrick calling the match down the middle. There is early confusion about whether or not Shawn Blanchard has an illegal object in his position. Yinza is starting against the former 6-time Champion but he isn’t happy with the conditions. The two lock-up in the center of the ring and Yinza shoulder blocks Blanchard down. The Enforcer recoils into the corner and recalibrates. They lock up again and Yinza forces Blanchard into the corner. Blanchard claims that Yinza pulled his short locks. No one is buying it. Blanchard locks up and forces Yinza into the corner. There’s a clean break. Blanchard pulls Yinza into his side of the ring. Yinza ducks a punch and levels Martin, who was holding the Luchadore. Badfingers is knocked down as he held onto McSorley, but Trick tricked his opponent. Yinza dives onto his opponents on the outside. After some recalculation, Martin is tagged in and so is McGraw. Martin slaps him in the face. McGraw answers with three big body slams. Martin is whipped into the corner for a splash and a side suplex. Martin is dropped in the center of the ring. One count. Martin crawls to the corner, where Blanchard was waiting. McGraw pulls them both in from the corner. Badfingers is in for a big fist. Blanchard, Martin and Badfingers are whipped into the corner and they collapse on top of one another in the center of the ring. They scatter. McGraw body slams Martin once again and drops a big elbow. And then another. McGraw picks him up and wrenches the arm. McSorley is tagged in and he lays a hammer shot onto Martin’s arm. He continues to work on the appendage and whips him down. Yinza is in for a modified clothesline and near pinfall. A monkey flip is next as Martin flops into a corner. There’s a double knee and then McSorley is tagged if for a double arm drag. McSorley goes for a pin. Blanchard breaks that up. Badfingers is tagged back in and he body slams McSorley. Soon, Badfingers and the VIPs are triple teaming McSorley in the corner. Blanchard back elbow drops McSorley down. He taunts his opponents and chops the rookie down. Blanchard goes for the Figure Four, but instead kicks McSorley in the gut…or below. McSorley is posted in the corner for two chops and a snap mare. Blanchard follows up with a slap to McGraw. That’s enough to distract the referee. McSorley is in the ropes for a couple of splashes from Martin, the new legal man. Martin measures for more offense. Badfingers goes to work on McSorley from the outside. Martin pulls him in for a kick to the gut. Blanchard is tagged back in. Blanchard taunts his opponents. Patrick admonishes Yinza for trying to get in. Blanchard misses with a clothesline. McSorley bounces off the ropes and they collide with a double clothesline. McSorley gets to Yinza, Blanchard to Badfingers. All six Megastars are fighting. Badfingers and Martin collide. Martin falls to the outside. Badfingers is hit with the Yinza to Belly for the win. 14:26
Zak Hunter v. Ryan Burke v. The Jester
Referee Jimmy James doesn’t know what to do with the scoundrel that has always been The Jester. The fan favorite shakes his expansive booty before the match begins. The Jester and Burke shake hands like gentlemen while Hunter rebuffs that advance. The three men lock up in a three-way Test of Strength. The Jester disarms Hunter by slapping him in the butt. The Jester drop toe holds Hunter and then rides him like a pony. Marbell gets into the ring and Burke does the same to him. Hunter and Marbell fall to the outside when Burke dives on them. Jester holds a rope open for Burke to get back in. They lock up and collide with shoulders. Burke is up and the action is fast and furious. Hunter gets back in and swings Marbell’s walking stick around before he gets kicked in the head by both of his opponents. Hunter retaliates by kicking Burke and getting The Jester down for a series of kicks and a two count. Hunter is beside himself. The Jester is whipped into the ropes and dropped down. Marbell shouts down fans from the outside. Hunter knocks Burke down from the apron. Jester tries to suplex Hunter but that’s blocked. A series of punches knocks The Jester down. Jester gets to one knee and delivers his own punches. He gets on his feet and he and Hunter trade offense. Burke is back in for a drop kick on both. Burke attempts to pin Hunter but gets only two. Burke clotheslines Hunter and tries to do the same to the Jester but he gets caught. Jester has offense that leads to a two count. Hunter and Jester battle it out. Hunter is down. Burke is toe dropped down. Jester drops on both of them. Burke rallies and gets both Megastars down. Burke goes for a dive from the top rope but is met by The Jester. Hunter power slams Jester down from the corner. Burke gets up. He hits a cross body block for the victory! 6:29.
Cleveland Bruiser and Joey Quervo v. Jack Massacre
The Cleveland Bruiser and Joey Quervo are out to face Jack Massacre in a Handicap Match. Quervo picks up the Bruiser for a Test of Strength. Massacre out muscles the duo and pushes them over. Massacre hoists Bruiser up for a body slam and then does the same with Quervo. Bruiser cowers in the corner. Massacre picks them both up and clotheslines them down. Massacre picks up Quervo and tosses him down. The Bruiser is up and goes for the giant’s left knee. Quervo pokes him in the head and then follows that with a couple of heavy hands. That doesn’t last. The Bruiser hides in the ropes. Quervo is whipped in the corner and is hit with a huge splash. Then the same happens for the Bruiser. A standing suplex drops the Bruiser. He suplexes Quervo next. Quervo is out onto the concrete. He grabs a beer that is left behind. Quervo watches from the outside as Massacre hits the Bruiser with a back elbow. Massacre swings The Bruiser and tosses him aside. Bruiser gets to his feet and is immediately hoisted up onto the big man’s shoulder. After holding him for an eternity, Massacre slams the Bruiser down. Then there’s a power slam. Then, mercifully, the pin. 4:46
Golden Triangle Championship: Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Anthony Alexander
Marbell tells the crowd that, unlike the softball team, “Harley T. Morris is a real athlete.” The cascade of boos is deafening. Shawn Patrick watches as Morris tries for cheers but fails. The fans do cheer for the Golden Triangle Champion; however. Alexander watches Morris antics with slack-jawed disbelief. They lock up and Alexander forces the challenger into the corner. There’s a clean break. The fans clap for Alexander. Double-A forces him back again. Morris tries to go cheap, and Alexander follows with a series of offense moves that sends the challenger to the floor and Marbell’s embrace. Alexander can only pace in anticipation as Morris and Marbell wander at ringside, trying to figure out what just happened. Morris takes maximum effort to stay outside. Morris finds his way back in. Alexander tosses him down and then hammers his head into the corner post of two different sides. Alexander scoops him up for an impressive body slam. Morris punches to the gut but is met with a powerful spinebuster. Two-count. Morris once again collapses to the outside. This time, Alexander follows. Alexander punches Morris and rams his head into the apron. Then there’s another punch that sends him inside the squared circle. Morris takes advantage of the time Alexander needed to get back onto the apron by kicking him into the knee. The offense goes to the outside. Alexander is tossed back in and Morris goes to work on the champion by smashing his knee into the corner post. Morris is back in. Marbell continues the offense on the outside with his walking stick as the referee is distracted by Morris. Alexander is slow getting up and Morris continues to work on the knee. There’s a pin attempt but Alexander kicks up at two. Alexander holds his knee as Morris shouts at the crowd. Morris motions that the championship will be his. Alexander gets into the corner and is tossed down. Morris goes for a pin but Alexander kicks out. Morris grabs Alexander is a submission move but Alexander powers out. He’s on his feet for a series of punches. Morris is whipped into the corner. His knee buckles and Morris hits him from behind. Morris works on the knee by slamming it on the mat. Morris takes a breather as Alexander is in pain. He continues to work on the knee. There’s a running, spinning back elbow and a two count. Morris goes for the knee. Alexander kicks Morris away and into the corner. Alexander cannot get up. The Ref checks but he’s good. The two Megastars meet in the middle of the ring. Alexander connects with punches. He misses with a clothesline but hits him with a big boot. Morris is up, Alexander is ready for a splash. As he approaches, Morris drops a knee on the champion. Morris climbs to the top rope for a dive. Alexander recovers and hits a Prime-Time Cancellation and gets the win in this hard-fought battle. 11:26
Lord Zoltan and Del Douglas v. Kris Kash and Shane Starr
Referee Jimmy James has his hands full with this contest. Mayor Mystery runs down the softball team and the town of Brackenridge. Kris Kash and Shane Starr ready for action. The fans shout “Burger King towards Douglas. Shane Starr starts out against Del Douglas. The two lock-up and they jostle for superiority. Starr gets Douglas in a corner and breaks the hold clean. Douglas counters and posts Starr in the corner. Douglas comes out cheap but Starr counters with an arm bar. Kash is tagged in and hits a double sledge from the top rope. Kash whips Douglas into the ropes and drop kicks him. Two-count. Starr is tagged in and he continues the offense on Douglas. Starr posts Douglas in the corner for a series of 10 punches to the head. Douglas is down. Starr tags in Kash and they two double clothesline and elbow Douglas. Kash is up and pulls The King to his feet. There’s a whip into the corner and splash. Kash calls for one more time. He whips Douglas in the corner and hits a clothesline. Kash rallies the fans, and drop kicks Douglas in the corner. Douglas is tossed over the top rope and onto the floor below. Mayor Mystery is there for support. Kash runs the ropes, dives over top of the top rope and onto Douglas. The fan goes crazy. Kash picks Douglas up and rolls him into the ring for a pin attempt that ends at two. Kash tosses Douglas again. Douglas ducks the clothesline and lands one of his own. At the five-minute mark of the match, Lord Zoltan is tagged in. Zoltan clobbers Kash with a forearm and a choke in the center of the ring. Douglas tries to come in but is rebuffed. Jimmy James is distracted enough for some offense by the Zoltan team. Douglas is back in and he posts Kash on the bottom rope. That’s where Mayor Mystery goes to work with his cane. Jimmy James is distracted and Douglas makes the pin attempt. That ends at two. Douglas has his boot on Kash’s throat. Zoltan is tagged back in. He removes wrist tape and goes to work on Kash. Starr shouts for the referee. Zoltan dumps Kash to the outside. The fans shout “cheater!” Zoltan, Mystery and Douglas all go to work on Kash. Bobby O, who is out with Kash and Starr, tries to borrow a wrench at ringside to settle the score. That doesn’t work. Zoltan continues to choke Kash while the referee is distracted. Zoltan gets Mayor Mystery’s cane and he buries that in Kash’s midsection. Zoltan continues to work a submission move on Kash’s trapezius muscles. Starr is shouting at Kash from the apron. Zoltan continues to have Kash at his mercy. Kash tries to get some blood flowing. He buries an elbow in Zoltan’s midsection but Zoltan clobbers him down. Douglas is phantom tagged in and makes the cover for two. The referee is in Starr’s corner as Mayor Mystery buries his cane back into Kash’s midsection and ribs. Douglas has Kash up. The two collide in with a double clothesline. Both Megastars are down. Referee Jimmy James counts to six before Douglas is up. He buries boots into Kash. Kash is whipped into the corner where he flips out on The King. Both men are down. Referee Jimmy James counts to six before Kash throws a haymaker. Kash gets to his feet and to Starr. He is in and clotheslines Douglas down. Starr kicks him flush in the mush and then loads up the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter. After a long battle in that position, Douglas has to submit. 13:26
Jay Flash v. T Rantula
Referee Shawn Patrick welcomes both combatants to the ring. T-Rantula takes his time making it around the ring. Flash is jittery as he races to the outside. T is ready. The bell rings and the two are ready to go. Flash actually dances before trying to lock up with the giant T Rantula. T pushes Flash into the corner and lets him go like a gentleman. They ready again and Flash races behind for an attempt at a suplex. That is ill-advised, especially this early in the match. T backs Flash into the corner with enough force to force the challenger down. Flash tries to Pearl Harbor the legend but that backfires. Flash gets back in and so does Flash. Flash wants to go for a Test of Strength. Flash is a lot shorter than T-Rantula. Flash jumps onto T and tries to level up that way. T just tosses him down. Flash is in the corner and T measures him for an overhand chop. The thud is impressive. Flash scuttles to another corner. This chop is even louder. Flash spills to the outside as T shakes the pain out of his right hand. Flash grabs a seat and talks to a fan, in an effort to slow things down. Flash taunts T and gets kicked, perhaps lower than the waist. T whips him into the ropes and hits a big boot to the chin. Then there’s a boot to the throat. T picks him up for a body slam. And an elbow. A Two-count. T pulls Flash up from that pin attempt. Flash is posted again. A third chop crumples the former KSWA Champion. Flash is whipped into a corner. T misses a splash and remarkably, hits a bulldog. There’s a two count and Flash is launched across the ring onto the referee. T is still down and Flash buries his knee into the corner post. Flash gets some offense before climbing back into the ring. T is slow to get back in but he rolls in before the 10-count. Flash goes for the pin but doesn’t get it. T tosses Flash across the ring after a second pin attempt. Flash goes for T’s knee. The big man is in the corner. He looks down and out at this juncture. He stumbles in the middle of the ring. Flash dives with a cross body block from the top rope. There’s a two count as T gets a shoulder up. Flash says that “this is impossible.” Flash races in for a splash but T gets a big boot up. Flash is tossed outside. T-Rantula follows. Flash is tossed into the corner post. And then again. T stops the count out and goes to a familiar fan for a familiar plate of nachos. Flash is caught in T’s clutches. The high-speed snack delivery is made. Flash rolls back into the ring. T-Rantula follows for a choke slam and win! 10:11
KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Big Mike Malachi v. Mitch Napier
Malachi does not ingratiate himself to the crowd of more than 400 in Brackenridge. Napier comes out to a rounding ovation. Shawn Patrick is the referee. Patrick calls for the bell and the two opponents circle the ring before Napier tries to get the bigger man down by going for the knees. Napier does wrestle Malachi down but the veteran is able to get back up in fast fashion. Napier goes behind Malachi and the champion is rammed into the corner. Malachi whips him into the corner and misses with a splash. Napier nearly rolls him up for the quick victory. But that doesn’t happen. Malachi bails to the outside to catch his breath. Malachi makes Patrick back Napier up before he slowly returns to the ring. The crowd chants for Mitch, and Malachi threatens to leave. He does get back in and the two lock up again. Napier is pushed into the corner and the hold is broken with little-to-no problems. Napier gets behind him and Malachi, the veteran, lifts a leg into Napier’s nether regions. That slows the champion down. Malachi uses leverage tactics to keep Napier reeling. Malachi rakes Napier’s forehead across the top rope. There’s a side suplex to Napier that makes the ring bounce. Malachi stands on Napier’s hair. Napier rallies with some shots to Malachi’s midsection; however, that has little effect. Malachi delivers a couple of new punches to the head. Napier remains down. Malachi picks him up and double sledges Napier down. There’s a knee on Napier’s throat. Patrick has a difficult time enforcing the rules in this case. Malachi continues to keep Napier down and then gets a rear chin hold. He pulls Napier’s head back with both hands. Malachi apologizes but it doesn’t seem particularly sincere. Napier is still down. Standing leg drop leads to a pin attempt. Napier gets a shoulder up at two. He rolls Napier up again for a pin attempt but Napier gets a shoulder up again. Napier suddenly grabs Malachi’s arm into a submission move. Malachi, using strength he occasionally flashes, hoists Napier up and slams him down. There’s a side slam and pin attempt at two. Then another attempt but Napier gets the shoulder up. Napier reverses a whip attempt and hits Malachi with a drop kick. Both men are down. Napier is up first. He hoists Malachi up and drop kicks him down as the opponent is in a seated position. Napier goes up for a flying head butt. He lands it with incredible force. The pin attempt is short and ends at two. Napier picks Malachi up for a series of forearms. Napier has Malachi in the corner and pulls him out. He gets a two count. Napier is up and grabs his back. Malachi is up and drives Napier’s head into the middle turnbuckle. Malachi is in control now. Malachi holds a front choke and suplex. Malachi rolls over for a second suplex and then a third. Each thud is louder than the last. There’s a two count on Napier. Malachi digs a knee into Napier’s back and pulls his arms back. He breaks the hold. Malachi hits the Malachi Crunch. Two-count as Napier gets a shoulder up. Malachi is up. He picks up Napier and slaps on a Cobra Clutch and follows with a Malachi Crunch. With the pin attempt, Malachi puts his feet on the ropes. Patrick calls for a three but Patrick immediately waves it off after seeing the boots on the ropes. Malachi celebrates, thinking he won. Once corrected, Malachi picks up Napier. He spins and Napier’s feet wallop Patrick. He goes down in a heap. Malachi is irate. He steals a chair from ringside. He tosses it inside. Napier is able to pick it up and hits Malachi with it. He then heaves up the big guy in the Sioux Falls Slam and drives him down in the center of the ring. Patrick recovers and sees the finish for the win. 17:52.