An Emotional Night For Badfingers, Jester Wins Gold, Napier Is Pinned, Massacre Takes Out T-Rantula At Joe Abby Night
March 25, 2018
By Trapper Tom, Editor, KSWA Digest
Anything can happen in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) and usually does. On this historic, 11th annual Joe Abby Memorial Tournament, a wrestling warrior shocked the Krazies with a sudden announcement. Five-Star Champion Bob Badfingers, who has held many titles and won awards over the past nine years told the sold-out, standing-room-only crowd that he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and would vacate his championship.
The Joe Abby Memorial Tournament would feature two KSWA Hall of Famers, and two others who may someday make the cut. KSWA Champion Mitch Napier had to face Lawless and Order with BROhemoth by his side. The KSWA Class of 2018 has swelled to 31 members, and the VIPs get into a skirmish with two of them.
Battle Royal: Opportunity at the 5-Star Championship
Originally and at the beginning of the evening, this match was to determine who would face KSWA 5-Star Champion Bob Badfingers at the end of the evening. The bell rings and the action starts. Justin Sane was immediately eliminated. The crowd seems to support Yinza, the Pittsburgh Luchadore. David Marbell encourages Zak Hunter to help Morris go after Big Country Matt McGraw. Trick McSorley is also eliminated. Yinza and Sly Scarpone eliminate each other. Matt McGraw is eliminated. Jay Flash has been eliminated. The final four are Zak Hunter, Lucio DeVeer, The Jester and Harley T. Morris. Hunter and Morris work as an effective team. The Jester goes to work on both men. The action is fast and furious. The Jester runs pilar to post on both men before Morris hits him with a flying knee to the mush. Morris and Hunter rebound and use their Team 12 Gauge talents against the Jester. The Jester sees the opportunity and chucks Hunter over the rope for the win. The Jester advances to the 5-Star opportunity. 13:11.
Suddenly, Five-Star Champion Bob Badfingers arrives on the scene. He tells the Jester that he will not be facing his frequent foe later that evening, because Badfingers explains that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Badfingers vacates the coveted title to KSWA Owner Bobby O. Bobby says that Ryan Burke, who won an opportunity at the Five-Star title as a result of Battle Bowl, has cashed in his chance and will face The Jester for the now-vacated belt later in the evening.
Joe Abby Memorial Tournament Semi-Final: Lord Zoltan (w/Mayor Mystery) v. T-Rantula
This is the first time in the KSWA that these two Hall of Famers have faced each other one-on-one during their duration in Pittsburgh’s KSWA. The bell rings out and Shawn Patrick checks both men. Lord Zoltan, the master of in-ring shenanigans, takes a while to take his robe off and get ready. A full minute passes before Zoltan gives his robe away. The two KSWA Hall of Famers circle one-another and Mayor Mystery gets on the apron. Zoltan attacks T-Rantula from behind as a result. T is posted in the corner and Mayor Mystery swats his cane into the KSWA Hall of Famer. Patrick pushes Zoltan away and Mayor Mystery continues his onslaught on T-Rantula. The double-team continues to haunt the legendary brawler from Munhall. Mayor Mystery distracts the referee as Lord Zoltan uses the can on T-Rantula’s knee. Zoltan continues to punch away at T-Rantula’s thigh. T Rantula grabs Mayor Mystery’s bowler hat. Zoltan grabs the hat from his opponent and puts it on his own head. That calms Mystery a bit until it’s returned. Zoltan whips T across the mat and misses with a splash. T-Rantula whips Zoltan across the ring and into the corner. Zoltan bounces out and into a big boot. T-Rantula covers Zoltan for the win. 7:11.
Joe Abby Memorial Tournament Semi-Final Malachi v. Massacre
The two lock-up and Malachi claims Massacre pulled his short, short hairs. Massacre continues an onslaught and lifts Malachi off the mat with a European Upper cut and two-count. Massacre pulls at Malachi in a rear chin hold. T-Rantula arrives on the stage and shouts unwanted encouragement Massacre’s way. Malachi gains some momentum and gets offense on Massacre. Massacre shouts to T that he doesn’t need his help. The two former tag team champions and reigning behemoths trade offense. Massacre gets Malachi in the corner and puts his boot on Malachi’s throat. Massacre clotheslines Malachi down and gets a two count. Malachi is seated and receives a big head butt from Malachi. Malachi rebounds and suplexes the 7-footer across the ring. One count as Massacre gets a shoulder up. Malachi punches Massacre and Massacre rallies. Malachi is tossed into the corner and Massacre splashes him. Two count and Malachi gets a shoulder up. Without provocation or cause, T-Rantula comes ringside. Massacre body slams Malachi. Massacre argues with T-Rantula. Massacre walks right into a Malachi Crunch but he kicks out at two. Malachi synchs in a Cobra Clutch on Massacre. Massacre battles out of the move but Malachi slams him down and covers for the pin. 8:30
With members of the Joe Abby family in attendance, KSWA Owner Bobby O and Kommissioner “Gentleman” Joe Perri induct the late Brian Hildebrand, Cody Michaels, Angie Minelli and a surprise choice, referee Shawn Patrick into the KSWA Hall of Fame.
VIPs and Del Douglas v. Kris Kash, Shane Starr and Anthony Alexander
KSWA Hall of Famers Cody Michaels and Dominic DeNucci go at the VIPs before the bell even rings. Shawn Blanchard and Shane Starr lock up in the center of the ring. Shane bounces off of the ropes and shoulder blocks Blanchard down. There’s then a hip toss that sends him into his corner. Double A is tagged in as is Del Douglas. These two have had epic battles over the years. Alexander drops Douglas down and Kash is tagged in. He drop kicks The King and goes for a pin that’s broken up by Blanchard. Alexander scoops him up and tosses Douglas across the ring. Martin races in and Alexander picks him up and tosses him across the ring. Douglas foolishly falls back in and gets the same treatment. Martin as well. Martin is tossed almost into the Monongahela River. Shane Starr is tagged in and he standing suplexes Douglas. Patrick goes for the pin and gets two. Kash is tagged in and he and Shane Starr double clothesline him down. Douglas is on the outside and Kash dives on top of him. Blanchard is in and he chops Kash. Kash rallies and leg scissor kicks him down. Blanchard clotheslines him out of the corner. Blanchard body slams Kash and digs a boot in his eye. Blanchard phantom tags Martin who comes in and puts the punishment to Kash. Tommy Faime, who is still recovering from a shoulder injury, uses his arm sling to choke Kash. Martin continues to brutalize Kash. Kash Whisper in the Winds his way out of corner and onto Martin. Bobby O leads the cheers for the underdog. Alexander and Blachard are tagged in. He administers clotheslines for all involved. Starr is in the ring and drops Martin. Douglas drops Starr. Kash drops Kash. Blanchard DDT’s Kash. Alexander is back in and hits Blanchard with the Prime-Time Cancellation for the win! 9:00 Post-match, the VIPs get into a skirmish with Cody Michaels and Dominic DeNucci at ringside. It takes a while to break up this argument, which got pretty heated.
Five-Star Championship: Flyin’ Ryan Burke v. The Jester
The two show a sign of respect by shaking hands in the center of the ring before locking up. Jester uses his size advantage to keep his opponent down for a two and then one counts. They break clean and lock up again. Burke hits The Jester with a shoulder block that does nothing to his opponent. Burke does hip toss and drop kick the Jester down. The fans are behind the uber-popular Jester. Burke dives over the top rope and onto The Jester. There’s a two count. The fans chant for The Jester. Burke posts him in the corner and connects a couple of running clotheslines before The Jester kicks up. The Jester kicks Burke and then snap mares him down. Burke is down for knee to the sternum. Burke is put into a sleeper hold and he breaks out of it with a series of elbows to the gut. Jester chops Burke and gets him down for a butt drop but he misses. Burke chops The Jester in the chest and drops him to the mat. Two count. Jester battles up and trades punches and chops with Burke. Burke kicks Jester in the legs to slow him down. The Jester rallies and drops Burke. Burke is whipped into the corner and The Jester splashes him. Jester misses with a splash, Burke tries to roll him up and gets only two. The two Megastars trade punches. Burke is down and this time gets the butt drop treatment. The Jester is up and the fans are cheering him own. Burke meets him in the center of the ring with forearms. Burke tries a power move but gets nowhere. The two trade positions before Burke hits Jester down with a kick to the chin. Burke goes to the top. The Jester avoids the move and Burke hits him with a Super Kick. Burke goes up top and hits a cross body block. There’s a pin attempt that ends in two. Burke is up and ready. Jester kicks him in the back of the head. Jester goes up top. Burke meets him there with a kick to the head. Burke is pushed off the top. Jester lands a frog splash for the win. 10:11. The two fan favorites embrace at the end of the match and give each other respect.
Dennis Gregory (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Joey Quervo
Mayor Mystery gets no love from the sold-out, KSWA crowd as they rain down insults on him. The bell rings and Gregory drops Quervo with a clothesline. He assails Quervo with punches and kicks and whips him into the ropes. Quervo gets a shoulder up. Gregory shouts at Patrick and drops Quervo with a punch to the chin. Gregory punches Quero and whips him into the ropes. There’s a spinning move into a knee that leads to a pin. Gregory wins in 1:49.
Tag Team: Lawless and Order v. BROhemoth and Mitch Napier
Before the match even begins, Napier and BROhemoth meet in the center of the ring and we aren’t sure whether this team will get along. The bell rings and Napier is forced into the corner. There’s a clean break and the two face off. Lawless goes for a wrist lock and Napier reverses it. Napier wrestles Lawless down, who gets into the ropes. Napier breaks the hold and Lawless shouts at the crowd. Lawless drops Napier with a huge shoulder block, but Napier immediately slaps on the ankle lock. Lawless gets to the ropes and Napier follows up with a series of hip tosses. He goes for a pin and Murphy races in to break it up. BROhemoth races in to even the odds. Napier is hesitant of BROhemoth. Lawless wants him in so the tag is made. Lawless tags in Murphy, who at 6’6” and 302, matches up more against BRO. The two face off and BRO hits him down hard with a running shoulder block. BRO gets him back up and tags in Napier who hits Murphy with a flying back elbow. Napier continues the assault and gets Murphy face down on the mat. Napier punches Murphy and the Officer responds with shots of his own. Napier picks him up and whips the champion down onto the floor. Lawless chases him out there and Napier drops him down. Murphy soon follows as the referee is distracted by BROhemoth. Lawless and Order double team Napier and roll him back into the ring. Lawless is tagged in and he body slams Napier and lands a double leg drop. Two count. Napier is whipped into the corner and Lawless tags in Murphy, who tosses him into Napier. There’s a side suplex from Murphy onto Napier. Lawless is tagged in and he hits Mitch with a leg from the top rope. Napier is contained in Lawless and Order’s corner. Napier battles out and tries to get to BROhemoth. Murphy lands a clothesline from the top rope and a pin attempt is broken up by BROhemoth. Napier continues to battle. Napier is able to get to BROhemoth but the referee doesn’t see it. James pushes BRO back. The double team on Napier continues. A gut wrench suplex by Murphy on Napier is next. Two count. Lawless is once again tagged in. Lawless runs the ropes, gets the crowd ready for an awesome move, and slaps on a sleeper. Napier battles out and drop kicks Lawless to the outside. Lawless pulls BROhemoth down from the outside and races back in to pull Napier across the ring. A tag to Murphy is next and they make a wish with Napier’s lower extremities. Murphy reads Napier his Miranda rights. Napier gets to his feet but he’s tossed into the corner. Lawless misses with a splash. Murphy is hit with a boot. BROhemoth is tagged in and he drops Lawless and Order down. The fans explode for BROhemoth. He splashes both men in their respective corners, over and over again. Lawless is suplexed. There’s a pin attempt that ends in two. BROhemoth tags in Napier. BRO body slams Lawless. Napier hits Lawless with a flying head butt. A pin attempt is next. That ends in two. BRO is toppled over the top rope. Lawless hits Napier with a move. Pin attempt. Napier leg scissors Murphy to the outside. Lawless ducks a splash from BROhemoth, who hits into Napier. Murphy and BRO fall to the outside. Lawless hits Napier with a finishing move and gets the pin in the center of the ring. 16:00
Joe Abby Memorial Tournament Finals: Big Mike Malachi v. T-Rantula
Malachi bides his time before the bell rings. The bell rings and Jack Massacre comes from the locker room and sits at ringside. The two 300-pounders lock up and Malachi forces T-Rantula into a corner. Massacre looks on. T-Rantula has some offense, but it’s all Malachi with a rake of the eyes. Malachi masterfully distracts the referee and rakes T’s eyes across the ropes again. T-Rantula says Malachi is playing dirty, so he continues to do the same on Massacre. There’s a lot of brawling and heavy hitting in this Main Event. The referee looks away and T-Rantula may have kicked Malachi low. T hits Malachi with a big European Upper Cut that drops him square on the mat. Eventually, Malachi falls to the outside. T-Rantula follows. Malachi is back in the ring and T ride him like a horse and gouges at his face. T-Rantula continue to assail Malachi. Malachi battles back. T is in the corner for a series of patented shoulder blocks. Malachi races in for a splash but T-Rantula misses. Malachi kicks out of two pin attempts. Malachi battles back. The brawling big men continue. Malachi kicks out. T picks Malachi up and tosses him into the ropes. T kicks Malachi with a big boot. Massacre grabs the nachos and hits T with them! H tosses T into the Malachi hits the big Hall of Famer with the Malachi Crunch for the win! 8:38. With Malachi cheering him on, Massacre turns on T-Rantula. He puts the boots to T-Rantula for several moments before deciding to leave, not far away from Malachi.