Napier Escapes Faime Challenge And Lawless, "King" Nearly Upsets For Golden Triangle, Mayor Mystery Lands Biggest Fish

June 24, 2018
By Trapper Tom, Editor, KSWA Digest

It was a night of surprises in the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) as unheralded challengers gave it their all, in attempts to re-claim championship gold. It was also an event where surprises were revealed and messages delivered. It was KSWA Saturday Night.

VIPs v. Trick McSorley and Yinza

Shawn Blanchard and Lou Martin arrive and then are followed by Trick McSorley and Yinza. The fans are all over “The Face of Pittsburgh.” Acting Kommissioner Bob Badfingers rings the bell and the action gets underway with Blanchard locking up with McSorley. The VIPs keep McSorley at bay with pressure holds. Blanchard gives the arm to Martin and he pump hands McSorley. They do it again. The third time, McSorley is able to switch positions so that Martin is pump handling Blanchard’s arm. McSorley and Yinza meet on the outside and wave to the wrestlers. Martin realizes that he is pump handling his partner’s arm. Yinza is tagged in and he makes a series of moves to continually keep Martin’s shoulders on the mat. Martin races to the wrong corner—Yinza and McSorley’s. McSorley is tagged back in and he continues the assault by rapping Martin’s head into the corner posts. Yinza is tagged in and then McSorley again, who continues to keep Martin down. There’s a pin attempt and Blanchard breaks it up. Yinza and McSorley drop elbows on Martin and nearly get a pin. Meanwhile, Blanchard is arguing from the apron. McSorley and Yinza are doing a good job until Martin breaks away from McSorley for the tag. Blanchard is hot and hits McSorley with a series of chops and punches. Soon, Yinza is knocked from the apron and Blanchard undoes his wrist tape. He wraps it around McSorley’s throat. Blanchard chops away at McSorley and then gives him an abdominal stretch. Blanchard reaches back and Martin adds leverage. Blanchard phantom tags Martin and Dr. Devastation is putting the pressure on McSorley. There’s a side slam and a point to Yinza’s corner to distract the referee. Martin has McSorley draped over the middle rope and dives onto him. Martin synchs in the Cobra Clutch and shouts to the crowd. Martin tags in Blanchard and The Enforcer is back in. He taunts Yinza to get the youngster enraged. With the distraction, Blanchard puts a knee into McSorley’s midsection or lower. Blanchard keeps with the offense. Blanchard picks McSorley up and the VIPs get hit with a double clothesline. McSorley makes it to Yinza and the Luchadore is on fire. Martin goes to the outside where he tosses McSorley into the ring post. There’s a Yinza to Belly on Blanchard but the Luchadore walks into a Death Certificate for the pin and win. 11:36.

Jack Massacre v. Joey Quervo

Jack Massacre, the 7-foot-tall behemoth, has certainly taken on a different attitude in recent months. Joey Quervo is in and as soon as the bell rings, slaps the giant. He tries to slam him, but when that doesn’t work…Quervo goes for a drink of suds. That doesn’t work and Massacre slams in powerfully, down twice before Jack steps on his back. There’s a whip into the corner and a splash. A hip toss immobilizes Quervo. Massacre says that Quervo “shouldn’t have shown up.” Massacre chops Quervo in the chest and delivers a clothesline. Massacre picks Quervo up off the ground by one leg. Quervo won’t give up and Massacre drops him down. There’s a power slam in the middle of the ring and pin. Massacre wins in 2:39.

Post-Match: Mayor Mystery makes his way to the ring. Mystery grabs the microphone and announces that his newest client is: Jack Massacre. The two leave together, full of joviality.

Bobby O announcement: The Owner of the KSWA talks about upcoming events and makes a major announcement regarding a fundraiser for Lord Zoltan, who is battling cancer. The event will be on Sunday, August 5 and more information is forthcoming in recent weeks.

Team 12 Gauge v. Justin Sane and Big Country Matt McGraw

The bell rings and McGraw drops Harley T. Morris. Soon, McGraw has Morris and Zak Hunter to the outside. Morris wants a time count that doesn’t come. Referee Shawn Patrick gets Morris back on the apron and Justin Sane is tagged in. Sane gets behind Morris until Harley T. drops him with a leg take down. Sane wrenches Morris’ arm over the top rope and the veteran Sane is at it again. Sane climbs the top rope and “old school” drops his arm down upon Morris’. Morris is tossed into a ring post but that doesn’t slow down West Virginia’s favorite export. He tosses Sane into the corner where Hunter stands. The offense is fast, hard and illegal. Sane is down for a pin attempt by Hunter but that ends at two. The 12 Gauge duo continues their assault on Sane and nearly get another pin. Hunter distracts the ref and Morris is tagged in. He kicks Sane in the gut and tries to loosen a shoulder that seems to have been affected in the battle. Morris drop kicks a seated Sane and misses with a clothesline. Sane hits a cross body block and that is enough to give him a breather. Patrick counts both men down but each wrestler is able to get to their corner. McGraw overpowers both Megastars and power slams Morris down in the center of the ring. He then sets Hunter up for a side slam. He tags Sane who prepares for the frog splash. He takes a long time and Morris grabs Sane from that perch. He is tossed down. Hunter had grabbed McGraw’s hat and caused him to leave the apron. Morris got back in and dropped Sane for the pin. 8:16.

Sly Scarpone v. Dennis Gregory (w/Mayor Mystery)

Scarpone takes it to Gregory right off the start and Gregory isn’t too happy about it. Gregory, the long-time veteran is able to stop the advance for a moment, insult the Krazies and return to action. Scarpone gets Gregory into the ropes but that hold is broken. Gregory claims to Jimmy James that his hair was pulled. Gregory rebounds enough to get a head lock on the challenger. Scarpone is whipped off the ropes and a dropped down. Scarpone then gets some offense and gorilla presses Gregory into the Lawrenceville sky before being clotheslined over the top rope. Gregory regains his presence on the outside, catches Scarpone and drives him into the ring post. Gregory goes back into the ring and Scarpone his assaulted by Mayor Mystery on the outside. Scarpone is back inside and is placed into a rear chin lock. Gregory knees and slaps Scarpone and gets him into the ropes. Gregory argues with the referee and that gives Scarpone enough time to get back into the action. Momentarily. Scarpone shoulders Gregory in the gut, but Gregory catches his challenger and drops him to the mat. Jimmy James counts to two on a pin attempt. Scarpone won’t submit. Gregory has a towel and that distracts the referee. Scarpone gets some offense and drives Gregory down with a body slam. Scarpone whips Gregory into the corner and hits him with a neck breaker. Both Megastars are down. James counts to six and then seven before both men get to their knees and start punching. Scarpone whips Gregory into the ropes but he is able to stop the moment and hit a knee and chin breaker. Gregory tries to toss Scarpone over the top rope but he “skins the cat” to get back in. A leg scissors tosses Gregory to the outside. The crowd loves the move. There’s Scarpone tries to suplex Gregory in from the outside, but Mystery grabs the leg and drops him down. With a leg held down, James counts to three. 9:22.

Golden Triangle Championship: King Douglas v. Anthony Alexander (champion)

The two have a pose down for the fans. Everyone knows who won that one. Once the bell rings, Alexander drops Douglas with a shoulder. Soon, the King is in the corner with a boot to his neck. Then a splash in the corner. Alexander picks up Douglas and tosses him across the ring. Douglas can’t believe his misfortune. The Krazies call for another toss. Douglas is up and gets a boot. Alexander picks him up again and tosses him across the ring. Alexander can’t believe that the fans want him to do it one more time. Alexander hoists him up a third time and Douglas catches the bottom rope before falling to the concrete below. Alexander drops Martin with a punch. Douglas cries for him to open the fist but that just leads to some boots to the mush. Douglas is somehow able to regroup and gets offense on Alexander, including his controversial “crotch grab.” Douglas is able to follow up with a chop and Royal Millvale Crab. Alexander counts on the Krazies to help with his rebound. Alexander is able to get to the ropes. Interestingly, a “Burger King” chant erupts during this. Douglas is able to keep the momentum on with a submission move. King lets go and announces “I got this!!” He boots Alexander and gets a two count. The fans chant for Double A. Douglas puts a put to Alexander’s throat and pushes the referee. The boot returns as Alexander is caught in the corner. Alexander gets up and is whipped into the corner. Douglas follows with a clothesline and near pinfall. There’s another attempted pin fall that ends in two. Alexander is whipped into the corner and Douglas lands another clothesline. And then another. A third drops Alexander in the center of the ring. Douglas prepares to “Drop It Like It’s Hot” but Alexander fights it off. Out of nowhere, Alexander hits the Prime-Time Cancellation for the win. 9:18. Douglas’ challenge was remarkable.

Tag Team Match: David Lawless and Dan Murphy v. Kris Kash and Shane Starr

Referee Jimmy James has his hands full with this tag team contest. Officer Murphy handed out citations to random Krazies for made-up infractions before the match started. Lawless and Starr start off with Lawless shoulder blocking Starr down. Starr rebounds and hip tosses Lawless down. Kash is tagged in for some offense before Starr comes back in. Starr shoulder blocks Lawless down and goes for a pin. Kash and Starr toss Lawless into the ropes for a clothesline. Kash drops a leg and gets a two count. Kash rushes in for a series of clotheslines and drop kicks on the fallen Lawless. There’s a two count on Lawless. He is able to get to his feet and poke Kash in the eyes. Kash got too close to the corner and got punches by Murphy. Officer Dan was tagged in and continues the assault on Kash. There’s a straight-ahead punch to the head that keeps Kash down. There’s a one-count. Murphy tags Lawless and drops Kash. Lawless hits a leg drop from the second drop. Kash kicks up at two. Lawless drives Kash down in the center of the ring. From the outside, Lawless slaps Kash right in the face in front of Jimmy James, who just looks on. Murphy, still the legal man, goes for the pin but only gets two. Kash gets some momentum, attacks both challengers before Murphy hits him with the big boot. Lawless is tagged back in and he continues to beat on Kash. Murphy kicks Lawless in the face when Kash dukes a boot in the corner. Starr is tagged in and he goes to work on both Megastars. A drop kick sends Murphy to the outside. Dennis Gregory races from nowhere and attacks Starr, dropping him down from the outside. Gregory drops Kash. Murphy kicks Starr in the face and Lawless hits him with a reverse neck breaker for the win. 8:16

Jay Flash v. The BROnomaly, BROhemoth

The bell rings and the two Megastars meet in the center of the ring. BROhemoth extends his hand in friendship, but Flash wants nothing of it. Once they lock up, BRO pushes Jay across the ring. Flash, the former KSWA Heavyweight Champion, wants nothing to do with BROhemoth. Flash is dropped to the mat and with one hand, BROhemoth picks up the 218-pound Flash and suplexes him down. Flash returns to the ring and pounds away at BROhemoth, who wants nothing of it. Flash continues to forearm and pound on BROhemoth, this time with a little more resolve. BRO gets Flash into the corner and whips him into another. A splash leads to a clothesline. Referee Patrick asks Flash if he can see him. Ever the warrior, Flash responds with a drop kick to BROhemoth’s legs to drop him down. Flash keeps BRO in the ropes until Patrick breaks up the offense. Flash keeps up with offense and double stomps on BROhemoth’s midsection. BRO tries to get up but Flash continues to work on the legs. The two trade blows in the center of the ring until BRO stops a whip attempt. BROhemoth drops Flash down in the center of the ring. There’s a two count. However, there was enough force that Flash made the pin attempt that ended at two. Flash stood on BROhemoth’s fingers and DDT’d him down in the center of the ring. Flash has BROhemoth down in a headlock. BRO battles out and sends Flash in the corner. Flash got to the corner post and dove onto his opponent but was caught. Flash got out of the slam attempt and got BROhemoth down for a pin attempt. Two-count. The crowd, remarkably, chanted for each Megastar. BROhemoth got Flash in the corner for some punches. Flash got out and drove BRO down in the center of the ring. Two-count on the Bronamaly. The two men meet again the center of the ring to trade punches. BROhemoth catches Flash off of the ropes and suplexes him down in the middle of the ring. Both Megastars are spent. They get back up and try to knock each other down. BROhemoth gets Flash down and hoists him up. Flash gets out of it and kicks BRO down. At 2 ¾, BROhemoth kicks up. Flash is up first and attempts to drop BRO down. BRO hits Flash with a Sioux Falls Slam and gets the win at 12:12.

KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Tommy Faime v. Mitch Napier (champion)

Tommy Faime had held the KSWA Heavyweight Championship for 511 days and coming into this contest, Mitch Napier had worn the Commonwealth’s most important championship for 568 days. The Krazies were firmly behind Napier, who some regard as the second-best champion in KSWA history, behind former 6-time champion Shawn Blanchard. Faime attacks Napier before the bell rings with a cheap shot. He calls for the bell to ring and he body slams Napier down. Faime whips Napier into the corner post and the current champion falls to his face. Napier recovers and nearly hits a pin off of a sunset flip. There’s a cross body block that keeps Faime down, but only for a two count. Napier Monkey Flips Faime out of the corner and the Krazies go nuts. Napier gets Faime in the corner and rains blows down upon the former champion. Napier goes for the Sioux Falls Slam but that’s blocked by Faime, which hits the champion in the head with elbows. Napier leg scissors Faime down. Napier heaves Faime down with a suplex. Napier hits Faime with a headbutt from the top rope. Napier takes off Faime’s knee pad and goes to work on that appendage. Napier hip tosses Faime down and chops him. Faime retaliates by tossing Napier over the top rope and onto the hard floor below. Faime then sends Napier in the “hard way.” The two trade blows until Faime gets the upper hand and suplexes Napier down. There’s a 2 ¾ count on Napier. Faime slaps in the sleeper hold on Napier. The champion crumbles and referee Patrick checks on him. Faime once again tosses Napier out, this time over the top rope and hard onto the concrete. Faime needs the breather to follow the champion and he is tossed back in. Faime assails Napier while both are caught up in the ropes. Patrick counts and Faime breaks the hold at four each time. Faime makes the cover to Napier but only gets two. Faime suplexes Napier but only gets two as the champion gets his shoulder up again. Faime pile drives Napier down and they both fall into the ropes. Faime stands on Napier for the pin attempt but he kicks up at two. Faime tries again, this time with is feet on the ropes. Out of nowhere, Napier slaps on an ankle lock. Faime gets to the ropes, breaks the hold, drop kicks Napier in the knee and body slams him down. Napier slaps on the ankle lock suddenly and Faime tries to fight it. Then, Faime slaps the mat in submission. 10:00.

Post-Match: The VIPs and Officer Dan Murphy race to the scene to attack Napier. David Lawless arrives and gets ready to cash in his Battle Bowl contract. Suddenly and with passionate resolve, Napier fights off everyone and Lawless reneges on his challenge.

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