"Spear Asylum" Wins Gold, Flash Sets Sights On Biggest Giant, Massacre Can't Finish Face, Johnson Fired
May 29, 2016
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
Tag team trouble makers--Bobby Badfingers and Vinnie Stone--speared their way to the top of the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) heap on Saturday night as Pittsburgh's only professional wrestling organization returned to its home of a decade. "Ice Man" Tony Johnson cashed in his chance at the Golden Triangle Champion, but ended up getting fired instead. But before all of that started, a KSWA Hall of Famer returned with an important message.
Big Bully Busick Returns
The Class of 2015 Hall of Famer, "Big Bully" Nick Busick returned to the KSWA after his Hall of Fame induction. He met with fans before the event, signed some autographs, and then spoke to the Krazies about his battle against cancer.
Joey Quervo v. T-Rantula
T-Rantula starts with a big chop that drops the Drunken Luchadore. Once both back inside, T-Rantula and Quervo for the Test of Strength. When Quervo doesn’t understand the process, T backs away. T gets Quervo into the corner for a series of overhand chops that send the Drunken Luchadore to one knee. T misses another time. Quervo makes a come back and gets some offense on T Rantula before the Hall of Famer puts a boot to his face. Quervo is slammed up against a wall. T Rantula gets a tray of nachos out of nowhere and plasters Quervo in the head with it. Once back inside, T Rantula kicks Quervo in the buttocks. Big choke slam and T Rantula gets the win. 3:31.
Shawn Blanchard v. Mitch Napier
The match was supposed to be a non-title contest, but Shawn Blanchard challenged Napier to make the match a title match. It was a gutsy move on Blanchard's part, as Napier is in a best-of-five series for that title with Kaida. Napier does not hesitate and the match--for the 5-Star belt--is one. Mitch immediately takes Blanchard down by the knees. Blanchard scrambles to the outside. Once outside, Napier rams Blanchard’s head around the apron. Napier tosses Blanchard back inside and into the corner. That’s where Napier punches Blanchard repeatedly in the forehead. Once down, Napier works on Blanchard’s leg. Napier ties Blanchard’s legs up in a not more quickly and viciously than Blanchard has ever experienced in the KSWA. Blanchard gets offense by hitting Napier in the throat, perhaps with a foreign object. Referee Justin Smith checks on the claims of the crowd. Napier is then assailed by Blanchard and knocked down for a pinfall. Blanchard gets two before Napier gets a shoulder up. Napier is down and out as Blanchard once again gains offense. Mitch is in the ropes and Blanchard attacks. Blanchard distracts the ref and hits Napier with a foreign object. Blanchard hits Napier in the shoulders and keeps him at bay. An atomic drop is next and Mitch is in a hard way. Blanchard goes to the outside. Blanchard hits Mitch’s legs on the ring post. Blanchard goes for the Figure Four in the center of the ring. Blanchard uses the middle rope for some advantage. The crowd chants for Mitch. Mitch tries to reverse the move. Blanchard berates Napier. After a long journey, Mitch gets it around. Blanchard gets to the ropes and breaks up the move. Blanchard clotheslines Napier down in the center of the ring. Blanchard asks “Who’s The Man?” and the crowd answers that it isn’t him. Napier lies prone in the center of the ring. Blanchard is also spent. Blanchard stalks. Napier gets to his feet and into a Sleeper hold. Mitch gets down to one knee. Mitch starts to power out but Blanchard gets him down. Smith starts to check on Mitch but he is up at two. Jawbreaker is next from Napier and Blanchard. Both Megastars are down. The double count out begins. Both get up at six. Blanchard buries a knee and then a series of knees. Out of nowhere the Sioux Falls Slam right into the Ankle Lock. After a few moments of valiant battle, Blanchard taps out. The winner and still Five Star Champion: Mitch Napier. (9:45).
Lou Martin v. Jack Massacre
Martin wants a Test of Strength, but Massacre has other plans. Soon, Martin is on his back, being stepped on with both feet by the 7-foot tall, 360 pound Massacre. Martin hugs onto the ropes to keep Massacre away. Massacre picks Martin up by one leg before slamming him to the mat. Two count by Fedor. Massacre bodyslams Martin and the Golden Triangle Champion bails to the outside. Martin borrows a chair from a fan and blasts Massacre with it. The offense continues on the outside and Referee Fedor says that the action is going to continue. The Spirit floor shakes when Massacre bodyslams Martin on the outside. Massacre plasters Martin with a plastic “Wet Floor” sign. Massacre has Martin over by the bar. The seven foot tall giant hits Martin repeatedly with different cans of beer. Martin gets up onto the bar. Martin dives onto the giant and there is another enormous thud. After a long period on the outside, Fedor counts both wrestlers out for a double countout. 6:11.
Almost immediately and out of nowhere, "Iceman" Tony Johnson, with referee Justin Smith in hand, cashes in the opportunity at the Golden Triangle Championship. The crowd goes crazy with excitement. The battle goes outside and Iceman gets an advantage but once back inside, Martin gains advantage. Again, the battle goes to the floor and back to the bar. Martin has control there. Johnson rolls Martin back inside and referee Justin Smith follows. There’s a two count before Martin gets his shoulder up. Martin remains down and Johnson looks for a weapon. He grabs a chair and tosses it inside. The Referee allows the action to go on. Martin is out while on a seated position. Johnson goes for a pin. KSWA Owner Tommy Faime arrives and says the match isn’t sanctioned. Johnson blasts Faime on the apron. Faime charges in and breaks up Johnson’s pin attempt. The match is called a disqualification. Faime suplexes Johnson in the middle of the ring and proceeds to “Fire” the Ice Man. (6;06)
Six Man Tag Team Action: Mercenaries and Del v. Party Gras and The Jester
Referee David Fedor checks all six participants. Nasty Nick Crane and The Jester start out. Del Douglas shouts encouragement to Crane. The Jester slaps Nick in the butt. That’s enough to rile the veteran. Jester gets Crane’s arm and goes into the corner to tag Zoltan. Zoltan drops Crane down and soon all six Megastars are in the ring, with Party Gras and The Jester rowing the boat with their opponent’s legs. Jester is now the legal man and he grabs Nick again. He tags in Justin Sane and Justin pump handle’s Crane’s arm over the top rope. Crane soon gets offense and tags in Sniper. Justin gets control and gets Sniper in the corner for a series of punches. Sniper gains control and hits a sit down power bomb on Sane. Crane Irish whips Sniper into the corner and into Justin Sane. Douglas is tagged back in. Douglas is in and he buries knees in Sane’s abdomen. Crane is back in and he goes to work on Sane. The Mercenaries and Douglas continue to work on Sane while the ref’s back is turned. Sniper pokes Sane in the eye. Sane is blinded. Sniper suplexes Sane in the center of the ring. Two count and Justin gets his shoulder up. Douglas is in and he puts a boot to Sane. There’s a big bodyslam and Douglas goes to the top to drop a fist that’s “Banned in 49 out of 50 states.” It’s still all Douglas. A tag is made to Sniper. Sniper distracts the referee enough to bury a knee into Sane’s midsection. Crane is in and he puts the lefts and rights to Sane. Crane tags in Sniper again at the 9:29 mark. The fans refuse to chant for Sniper. The fans chant, “Sniper is the Worst.” Sniper and Sane double clothesline each other. The fans chant for Jester. Sane makes the tag to Jester. He goes all in after the opponents. All six men are in. Zoltan on Crane. Sane on Sniper. Jester on Douglas. The Mercenaries and Douglas are smashed together in the center of the ring. Douglas is down. Jester with a frog splash. Jester rolls Douglas across the ring and Sane hits him with another. He gets the pin and Jester and Party Gras are victorious. 11:49
Jay Flash v. “Big” Mike Malachi
The now long-time foes are set to lock up. Referee Justin Smith watches on. Flash does his best to shuck and jive Malachi. Malachi tries to bodyslam Flash but he evades it. Malachi powers Flash in the corner. Flash tries for a cross body block but Malachi catches him. Malachi tosses him across the ring. Flash continues to try and evade Malachi. Malachi chops Flash and he goes down. Flash gets into another corner. Malachi hits Flash with a chop again. Flash goes to the apron and uses it as a weapon by dropping Malachi’s throat over the top of it. Flash dives onto Malachi on the outside. Flash continues his attack on Malachi on the outside. Malachi tosses Flash up against the wall. Malachi goes to splash Flash on the corner but Flash uses a chair to stop that charge. Referee Justin Smith counts to seven on the outside before Flash gets back in. Malachi is in at nine. Flash uses the ropes once again to tie up Malachi. He drops Malachi down. Flash dives from the apron onto Malachi. Flash goes for the pin and gets two and three quarters. Malachi is down. Flash uses his shin on Malachi’s throat. Flash asks the crowd if he’s ready. Flash leaps into the ropes, ropes, off of the ropes and onto Malachi’s head. Two count. Flash, incredibly, keeps Malachi down. Flash goes to the middle rope and tries to drop a leg. That didn’t land solidly, so he keeps on the assault. Flash keeps Malachi down with a boot to the ribs. Faime wants Malachi to tap and “End the misery.” Malachi won’t. Malachi gets a foot on the ropes. Flash uses an ankle lock and Malachi is in great pain. Malachi squirms out of the move and somehow gets Flash into a submission move. It was pure power that got Malachi the upper hand. Malachi picks up a limp Flash and side suplexes him in the center of the ring. Flash is down. Malachi is up. He finds a piece of wrist tape that Flash allegedly was using on his opponent. Flash bails to the outside. The referee starts the count out. He gets to six and then seven. Flash uses a bottle of water in Malachi’s face. That angers the big man who double ax handles Flash. Malachi picks him up for a belly to belly suplex. Two count on Flash. There’s a big sit down power bomb that levels Flash. Faime is up on the apron. Malachi is up. He argues with the referee. Flash is up. He levels Malachi with a super kick. Malachi is up at two. Both men are up again. Malachi and Faime argue. Faime strikes Malachi. Flash kicks him. Malachi is up again. Flash kicks him again and gains the victory. 14:35
KSWA Tag Team Championship: Spear Asylum v. Lost Boys
Referee David Fedor checks out all four competitors. KSWA Owner Bobby O is with the champions. Fedor shows off the most prestigious tag belts in the Commonwealth. The bell rings and Spear Asylum goes after the championship. The championship rally and attack the challengers. Kash lands tilt a whirl drop kicks on their opponents. Spear Asylum drops to the outside to collect their thoughts. Once back inside, Stone gets the quick advantage on Starr. Starr gets advantage and threatens to break off Stone’s arm. Kash is tagged in and he flies from the top rope and onto Stone’s arm. Kash goes to work on Stone with arm wrings. Starr is tagged back in. They keep Stone in their corner. Starr drops a leg on Stone’s arm. Bobby O says that Stone gave up but there was no true evidence of that. Kash smashes Stone with a chop. He whips Stone into another corner and hits him with another. Kash dives onto both Megastars on the outside of the ring. Stone is rolled back in at three. Starr is tagged in and he continues the onslaught on Stone. Badfingers has not yet been tagged in. There’s a two count. Starr gets Stone into a clinch from behind. That allows Stone to low blow Starr. He pulls Starr into his corner, where Badfingers awaits. Badfingers bodyslams Starr and then lands an elbow. Two count. Badfingers picks up Starr and tosses him into a corner. Starr rebounds and nearly gets a pin. Badfingers keeps Starr away from Kash until Starr hits a drop kick. Stone is tagged back in. He keeps Starr down on the mat. Stone, the true iron man in this match, keeps Starr down. He is pulled up and pushed back into the Spear Asylum corner. That’s where Badfingers comes back in. They double team Starr for a flip. Two count. Badfingers tosses Starr into the ropes but Starr gets a sunset flip and drops Badfingers for a two count. Starr fights back. Kash is tagged back in and he goes to work on Badfingers, but Fedor doesn’t see it. He forces Kash back and Starr back in. There, Spear Asylum awaits. They drop Starr again. Starr doesn’t know where he is. Stone hits a European Upper Cut. Kash tries to get back in but Fedor won’t allow him. Stone and Badfingers continue to attack Starr. Starr is dropped hard in the center of the ring. Badfingers is back in. He tosses Starr up and Stone hits him with a European Upper Cut. Two count. Badfingers keeps Starr up. Starr catches Badfingers out of nowhere and hits his sidewalk slam. The count is broken up by Stone. Badfingers gains control again and drops Starr with a clothesline. Badfingers goes up to the top rope, albeit slowly. Starr races to the corner and slams Badfingers with a ring-bouncing superplex. At five, both Megastars are up and slugging each other. Both men fall. Starr goes to tag Kash. Jay Flash races out of nowhere. He pulls Kash down from the apron. He attacks Kash on the outside. The Spear Asylum take turns spearing Starr. They hit Starr three times before Bobby O rattles Fedor enough to take watch the action. The pin is made and Spear Asylum are the new KSWA tag team championship. Somewhere along the line, Flash bashes Kash in the head with the World Title. Afterward, Tommy Faime says that this is how a company is run. Bobby O says that there will be an inquiry into the night’s activity. 12:14.