Things Get Tacky In Cinco De Mayhem Match, Best BROs Around Best VIPs, Gregory Gets By Kash, Lawless Isn't Flawless Against AA

May 5, 2019
By Trapper Tom, Editor, KSWA Digest

The Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) welcomed Cinco de Mayhem with a Street Fight for the ages, an accepted challenge for the tag team championships and hard-hitting matches that made several statements.

Grudge Match: Jack Massacre (w/Mayor Mystery) v. T-Rantula

T-Rantula started the festivities off early by sharing an ice-cold beer with the Krazies. The seven-foot-tall Jack Massacre and Mayor Mystery go to the floor and then apron to start things off. Massacre immediately attacks T-Rantula and gets him in the corner. There’s a whip across the floor and into another corner for more choking and elbow shots. He’s tossed again, but the Hall of Famer gets a boot up and drops the Waco, Texas native. T-Rantula bends the rules by choking Massacre, and so does Massacre with a low blow. T is down on one knee and into the ropes for some Mayor Mystery interference. Massacre rides T-Rantula like a pony in the ropes. T then settles into the corner for some boots and then when the referee is distracted, Mayor Mystery cane choking. Massacre distracts the ref and Mystery continues his assault. T gets a boot up when Massacre comes diving in. That’s enough to allow T to get some nachos. Mystery blocks that offense and T-Rantula chases him around the ring. Once back inside, T chops Massacre and knees him in the chest. T-Rantula applies a sleeper hold on Massacre who goes to one knee. Mystery sneaks in an whacks T, all in front of the referee. He immediately calls for a disqualification. T-Rantula clears the ring of both Megastars. 5:58

Harley T. Morris and J-Ru v. Zak Hunter and BROhemoth

The “Artist” J-Ru locks up with Hunter and then go in a circle with an arm bar before J-Ru is able to tag in Morris. Hunter gets Morris in his corner and tags him BROhemoth. The BROnamaly tosses Hunter into Morris. He tosses both wrestlers around and J-Ru is tossed out of the ring. They get their wits about them on the outside before BROhemoth throws Morris in the hard way. Hunter gets Morris down for a pinfall attempt. That ends at two. Hunter has Morris but the beard. Morris is able to get to J-Ru. He taunts BRO who rushes in and into the referee. J-Ru, the veteran, uses the ropes against Hunter. Morris is tagged in and he drop kicks a seated Hunter. BRO shouts encouragement to Hunter. Morris tags in J-Ru who drops an elbow and goes for a pin. Hunter gets a shoulder up. Morris uses the ropes to choke Hunter and BRO rushes in to kick off a pin attempt. Hunter finally gets to BROhemoth who comes in a house a fire. Morris is tossed over the top rope. BRO drops J-Ru in the center of the ring and gets the pin. 6:43

5-Star Championship Bubba the Bulldog v Shane Starr

Bubba comes to the ring without Mayor Mystery. He shouts at the Krazies and says he will accept no more Open Challenges. The bell rings and the Krazies are clearly behind Shane Starr. The two lock up. Bubba body slams the former multi-time champion in the center of the ring and then cheers himself on. They lock up again and Starr hip tosses Bubba all the way out to the floor. Once back inside, Starr is subjected to a wrist lock. Starr reverses the move and threatens to break Bubba’s arm off. Bubba is able to get into the ropes and force a break. Bubba gets behind Starr and Starr gets behind Bubba. There’s a German Suplex on the Bulldog. He gets into the ropes and calls for a time-out. He is not permitted to have one. They lock up again and Bubba shoulder blocks Starr down. Bubba tries for a flying body press but Starr catches him and slams him down. Again, the veteran slides to the outside. Bubba collects himself. Once on the apron, he slugs Starr who goes down. Bubba steps on his hair. The referee calls for four. Bubba breaks the hold. Bubba digs away at Starr’s face. Bubba rallies and hits Starr with a flying forearm. Starr is in the ropes. Bubba pulls him down by the hair, right in front of the referee. The Krazies start chanting for Starr. Bubba pulls Starr down from behind. The referee admonishes Bubba for pulling the hair and Bubba says Starr should cut his championship locks. Bubba whips Star out of the corner and into another. He does the same thing and Starr collapses to the mat. There’s another whip and a flying clothesline and bulldog. A two-count follows. Starr slaps the mat, looking for help from the Krazies. Bubba pulls him up. Bubba puts Star up on the corner post and lays in some punches. Bubba meets him at the top corner post. He is pushed off of the bulldog. There’s a big leg drop and two-and-a-half count on Bubba. Starr hits Bubba with a standing suplex. Bubba gets a shoulder up at two. Starr suggests the Sharpsburg Sharpshooter, Bubba grabs Starr the hair. A right hand breaks the hold. Starr whips Bubba into the ropes for drop kick. And a two count. Bubba ducks a clothesline and they collide into each other. The ref calls for the double count. A three they start moving. At five, Starr gets up and Bubba is right behind him. Starr and Bubba trade fists. Bubba hits him with one that starts from the mat. Starr hits him with one and Starr goes for the Shining Wizard, but is hit with the Rock Bottom. Bubba has all of his appendages in the ropes for leverage, but James doesn’t see it. The pin fall is next and Bubba retains. 11:32

Cinco de Mayhem Street Fight: Martin, Quervo, Douglas, McGraw and Yinza

The bell rings and all four competitors start slugging away. McGraw goes after Martin with a series of vicious shoulder blocks in the corner. Joey Quervo goes to the bar. Yinza, wearing shoulder pads, drives Douglas to the outside. All of a sudden, a bunch of junk is tossed into the ring from a hidden garbage can. Yinza hits Douglas with a crutch and then a garbage can. There’s a bullrope. Martin hits McGraw with a rowdy fan’s Money in the Bank briefcase. Quervo is on the outside watching the mayhem. Yinza hits Douglas with the briefcase. McGraw came to the ring with a guitar with Martin’s name. He has it. McGraw clubs others with steel and aluminum tools of terror. Yinza puts a drum over Martin’s head and beats away at it. Yinza and Martin hit each other with the bull rope. McGraw hit Martin in the head with the guitar. Yinza rolls back in and Douglas follows behind him. McGraw hit Douglas with a hockey stick. McGraw gets back in. Yinza and Martin battle on the outside. Douglas is back in the ring. Four of the competitors find light sabers on the 4th of May and go at it in the center of the ring. Martin comes in the ring with a kendo stick and lays waste to the others. McGraw hits Douglas with a garbage can. Yinza tosses the drum into the ring. Yinza even smashes McGraw with an aluminum bat to keep him at bay. Yinza and McGraw get into the ring to face off. Yinza lunges at McGraw, but Matt tosses Yinza around and plants a chair into the Luchadore. McGraw rolls into Yinza. Martin uses a plunger on McGraw’s head. Douglas tosses in a chair. All five Megastars are in. Martin tosses in a ladder. He sets it up in a corner. Yinza hits Quervo with a pinata. McGraw has his own pinata. It’s full of thumb tacks. McGraw slams him into the tacks. Martin is on top of the ladder. Yinza meets him there. He tosses Martin down from the ladder into the tacks with a Yinza to belly for the win. 16:21

VIPs—Shawn Blanchard and Tommy Faime—hit the ring

The VIPs come out of intermission and grab the microphone. Shawn Blanchard says that KSWA Owner Bobby O isn’t in Lawrenceville, but at a “potato chip convention.” Tommy Faime grabs the microphone. They say that no one is tough enough to beat the tag team champions. Mitch Napier comes out and faces the both. He clears the mat of both men and slams Faime down. There’s a head butt from the top rope and a dive at Faime in the corner. Faime ducks and gets to Blanchard who hits Napier with some moves, including a spinebuster. Faime is tagged back in and he hip tosses Napier. Both VIPs are in and they beat Napier down. Blanchard says that “no one likes” Napier and no one would be his tag team partner. Blanchard continues to beat on Napier and rams his head in a turnbuckle next to Faime. Faime attacks Napier from the outside, ramming his crotch on the corner post. Blanchard side suplexes Napier. Patrick counts to tow before Napier gets a shoulder up. Napier is tossed into the ropes and Blanchard knocks him down with a back elbow. With the referee distracted, Faime comes in and attacks Napier. Mitch fights back but then Faime hits him with a neck breaker. A suplex is next. There are two slaps of the hand before Napier gets a shoulder up. Blanchard hits Napier with a neck breaker. Blanchard says it’s “not going to happen by yourself.” Blanchard knocks him down with a punch to the head. He hits the Sioux Falls Slam and is spent. Out of nowhere, BROhemoth hits the ring. He is tagged in by Napier and goes to town on the VIPs. BROhemoth hits Blanchard, makes the pin and wins in 7:48

KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Dennis Gregory (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Kris Kash

Dennis Gregory gives Kash the option of going home with honor. He doesn’t and attacks the champion. The bell rings and Referee Jimmy James gets slugged. Mayor Mystery, with tambourine in hand, chants for Gregory on the outside. Gregory slams Kash down and Mystery approves. Gregory knees the one-time-former KSWA Champion in the gut. Kash is dropped down and Gregory gets a two-count. Gregory elbows Kash in the head. Gregory vaults Kash across the ring. He digs at Kash’s face while up against the ropes. There’s a right hand on Kash’s head. Mayor Mystery is shaking his tambourine. Gregory continues the all-out assault on Kash. He rests a boot into Mystery’s head. Gregory back elbows Kash. Gregory grabs a towel and refreshes himself. Kash knees and elbows Gregory in the gut. There’s a back elbow that sends Kash to the outside. Gregory manhandles Kash on the outside, until Kris flings Gregory into a ring post. Kash crawls back in. Kash dives onto Gregory on the outside. Referee James starts to count out both Megastars. Kash crawls back up onto the apron but Gregory pulls him down. The Champion smashes Kash back-first into the ring post. Gregory poses on the apron while Mystery shakes the tambourine in Kash’s face. James starts the count out. Gregory pulls Kash up from the apron all the way over the top rope and into the ring. Kash is posted in a corner and Gregory jams a boot into his throat. Kash is attacked by Mystery on the outside while the ref is distracted. This brings out a stomping Shane Starr to chase Mystery away. Gregory gets Kash in the corner. He whips him across the mat and follows with a clothesline. And then another. Gregory, in an instant, heaves Kash onto his shoulders. There’s a thunderous Samoan Drop. Gregory follows up with elbows onto Kash’s arm. A pump handle suplex rests Kash on Gregory’s shoulder. A power slam on Kash is next. Kash, incredibly, gets a shoulder up at two. The crowd is all about Kash. He battles back, but that’s short lived against Gregory. A version of a stunner by Kash falls Gregory. Starr starts the chanting for Kash on the outside. Starr drops Mystery from the apron. Starr puts Mystery on his shoulders and carries him out of the arena. Both Megastars are still down. The chants for Kash are deafening. Kash gets up to his feet, as does Gregory. They trade punches. Kash blocks some of Gregory, but he is turned inside out with a clothesline. Kash will not give in. Gregory nearly rolls up Kash. Kash nearly rolls up Gregory. And visa versa again. Gregory jumps onto Kash’s shoulders and drives him face first into the mat for the win. 13:30

KSWA Golden Triangle Championship: David Lawless v. Anthony Alexander

The Gavel makes his way to the ring and so does the two-time and reigning KSWA Golden Triangle Champion. The bell rings and the two warriors lock up. There’s a beginning-of-the match lock up that ends with a clean break. Alexander forces Lawless in the corner and breaks clean, despite Lawless saying that the GT champ “pulled my hair.” Alexander hoists Lawless up and onto the top corner post. Lawless escapes to the outside, still complaining about non-occurring hair pulls. Alexander gets Lawless in a headlock. Alexander drops him with a hip toss and then again. There’s a series of back elbows that drop Lawless to the outside. Alexander follows him. Lawless gets back in. Once Alexander tries to follow, Lawless drops an elbow and ties him up in the ropes. Lawless flaunts the fact that Alexander got tangled up, groin-first into the middle rope. Alexander is poised in the middle rope for some offense from Lawless. Double-A tries to get to his feet, but Lawless continues. He tosses Alexander into the corner, where he falls to the canvas. Lawless gets Alexander into a sleeper but the Golden Triangle Champion fights out with elbows. Lawless splashes Alexander in the corner and hits a neck breaker. Lawless rolls across the canvas and splashes Alexander. Lawless’ succession of shoulder blocks to the gut are next. Alexander is posted on the top turnbuckle. Lawless follows for a Flawless super plex, but Alexander tosses him down and follows with a flying clothesline. Lawless charges but finds a series of clotheslines and a big boot. Alexander hits Lawless with a spinebuster and gets only two. Both men are spent. Lawless blocks a Prime-Time Cancellation and hits Alexander with a neck breaker. Lawless hoists Alexander up, but he fights it off. Alexander catches Lawless and slams him down in the center of the ring. An Atomic Drop and kick drops Alexander. Lawless goes for the pin but only gets two. Lawless picks up Alexander and hoists him up again. Alexander blocks it. The two go around and around before Alexander hits Lawless with a Prime-Time Cancellation for the win. 10:22

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