Kash And Starr Prevail In Sharpsburg, VIPs Vanquished, Mayor Mystery Is Out
August 9, 2016
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
The Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) returned to action on Sunday, August 7, 2016 with a stop in Sharpsburg for the kickoff to Guyusta Days and its 20th anniversary. The day started promising for a number of Megastars, including Mayor Mystery, Sniper, the “King” Del Douglas, the VIPs and others. But as the beautiful afternoon turned into a glorious evening, some things didn’t turn out as planned.
The evening began as part of the festivities celebrating Guyasuta Days in Sharpsburg. The town is just to north and across the river from the KSWA’s home in the Lawrenceville neighborhood within the city of Pittsburgh. The KSWA has had a rich history in Sharpsburg, with the Mario Ferraro Sr. Memorial Tournament that was started here. Plus, former KSWA Heavyweight Champion and current (going into the event) Golden Triangle Champion Shane Starr is among its brand new homeowners.
Spear Asylum (w/Mayor Mystery) and Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell) v. Party Gras and The Jester
The KSWA Tag Team Champions are accompanied to the ring by Mayor Mystery and the Mad Genius David Marbell accompanies the brand new 5-Star Champion, Harley T. Morris, to the ring. The Jester comes to the ring with Party Gras. Lord Zoltan and Justin Sane prance ringside along with The Jester. Head Referee David Fedor stands helpless as Lord Zoltan dances and frolics with the crowd. Bobby Badfingers and Lord Zoltan start out. Mayor Mystery wonders why their opponents need to change corners. The trio makes it all the way around the ring. Marbell covets the 5-Star Championship like a newborn baby. Party Gras and The Jester finally end up at the first corner they wanted. Jester could be overheard saying that it “felt like home.” Now with two minutes officially gone by in the match, Jester and Justin Sane change offensive position. Lord Zoltan is then in before the gaggle settle on The Jester. He faces off against Badfingers. Badfingers and The Jester switch wrist locks. Jester paddles Badfingers on the backside. The leader of Spear Asylum complains it was a punch. Fedor said it was an open hand. Harley T. is in Lord Zoltan is in and holds his opponent at bay with an arm bar. Justin Sane is tagged in. He runs the ropes and hopes over Lord Zoltan, who extends Morris’ arm. Jester is back in. The offense continues until Morris is able to tag in Vinnie Stone at the 4:20 mark. He and Jester know each other well. Jester grabs Stone from behind. The veteran trades positions and gets behind The Jester. The Jester grinds his hips into Stone, breaking the hold. Stone pulls Jester down from behind. Stone follows that up with a belly to belly on the 255 pound Jester. Badfingers is tagged in for offense, and then Harley. Jester is down and Morris lands an impressive elbow from the top rope. Two count. Badfingers is tagged in and he goes after Zoltan. The referee is distracted. Badfingers continues the assault on Jester. There’s a leg drop on Jester’s groin as Party Gras is kept at bay. Badfingers lands an impressive drop kick on the Jester. Two count. Stone is now in. Stone puts a rear chin lock on Jester. Jester battles out but Stone drops him down. Two count. The 5-Star champion is tagged in. He lands a leg drop. Two count. Jester is in the ropes. Morris distracts Party Gras and the ref. Jester manages some offense and drops Morris. Both men are down. Stone is tagged in. Stone and Jester hit each other with a double clothesline. Morris is tagged back in. Soon all six Megastars charge the ring. Sane on Badfingers, Jester on Morris, Zoltan on Stone. Spear Asylum and Morris are whipped into the center of the ring and smashed together. Stone and Badfingers fall to the wayside and concrete below. Jester lands and frog splash and so does Sane. Sane for the pin and the win. Party Gras and The Jester are victorious. 11:35.
“Nasty” Nick Crane (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Mitch Napier
As soon as the bell rings, Crane is all over Napier. Referee Fedor calls for fairness but that falls on deaf ears with Crane in the ring. Crane continues his assault on Napier. The beat down is arduous and measured by Crane. It’s not until the 2:40 mark when Napier rallies some offense. Napier drops Crane and gets a two count. Napier suplexes Crane and then hits him with a perfect cross body block. Crane gets to the ropes. Fedor breaks up Napier’s offense. Crane is down and Napier tries to whip him into the ropes from the mat. That doesn’t work. Once on their feet, Napier whips Crane into the corner. Napier follows with a splash. Crane is hoisted up by nothing but pure, brute strength and dropped with the Sioux Falls Slam. Napier follows with an ankle lock and Crane taps out. Mayor Mystery climbs to the apron in protest. Napier brings him in the hard way and immediately clasps on the ankle lock. Mayor Mystery buckles in pain and taps out himself. (Mayor Mystery would later be rushed to an area hospital where his condition was not available at press time.) 4:41
Big Mike Malachi v. Jay Flash (w/Tommy Faime)
The two veterans of the squared circle lock up. Flash bails to the outside. Tommy Faime says Flash is too quick and too smart for Malachi. Flash successfully avoids Malachi for two minutes. Once in Malachi’s clutches, Flash is hip tossed across the ring time and time again. Flash bails to the outside again. At the eight count, Jay is back in. There’s a test of strength but Malachi uses his size and strength advantage to turn Flash’s wrists and pick him up into the corner. Malachi chops Flash and Jay says that a show review should say he “survived an incredible chop.” He did. Soon, Flash is able gain momentum by kicking, splashing and punching Big Mike. While all of this is going on, Faime argues with fans at ringside. Flash races to the outside and gets the ref’s attention. That’s enough for Faime to go to work on Malachi’s leg. Flash goes for a pin but Malachi launches him into the Sharpsburg sky. Flash lays Fedor on top of Malachi and the ref is tossed up as well, all to the delight of the crowd. Malachi gets some offense and gets Flash into the ropes, where he is suplexed. There’s a lazy cover from Malachi. Flash gets up and kicks Malachi in the head. Flash rakes his boots over Malachi’s forehead. Malachi is down, Flash goes for a submission move. Malachi is able to get to the ropes. Flash misses with a leg drop. Malachi kicks Flash in the head. Malachi leg drop. Flash kicks out at two. Malachi tosses Flash around some more. Malachi follows with a submission move of his own. Flash gets to the ropes. Malachi suplexes his foe. Two count. Malachi follows with another lazy cover. Malachi goes for a bodyslam but Flash slides out of it. Flash goes for a superkick. Malachi pushes Flash into Fedor. Malachi bodyslams Flash. At one point, Faime tosses a weapon to Flash. Jack Massacre appears from nowhere to stop Flash. He attacks Flash and the referee calls for the bell. The winner of the match is Jay Flash, by way of disqualification. Post Match, Malachi and Massacre argue. Time of match: 13:05.
Sniper v. T-Rantula
The opponents make their way to the ring and the bell is sounded. Sniper, intelligently, goes on the sneak attack against the giant. Sniper’s offense is tactical, but T-Rantula is just too strong. T chops his opponent in the chest several times, but that just sets off the South African import. Sniper is able to get T down and his leg is wrapped around the corner post for some serious action. For the first time perhaps in his KSWA career, T-Rantula is down for a significant amount of time. Sniper measures every move, as he was aware of July 23rd’s T-Rantula beat down of The King, Del Douglas. For most of the 3:30 of this match, it’s Sniper on the attack. Sniper continues to go after the leg. Sniper says that T-Rantula is not tough at all. That’s enough to energize the giant to drop his opponent. Over the top rope he goes next. On the outside, T hits Sniper with a series of chops and then out come the nachos. T Rantula clobbers Sniper with not one, but two orders of high velocity snack delivery. Sniper is tossed back in. He goes for a quick series of punches, but T would have none of it. A chokeslam later, T-Rantula is the victor. 6:41
Golden Triangle Championship: Shawn Blanchard v. Shane Starr
With KSWA Owner Bobby O as referee, this match is set. Blanchard has never held the Golden Triangle Championship before and Starr just recently returned to its glory. Blanchard instructs the crowd that he wants complete and utter silence as the match starts. As you might imagine, that didn’t work well. Starr starts quickly and shoulder blocks Blanchard down. The former 6-time KSWA Champion slows things down. There’s a test of strength and Blanchard kicks Starr in the gut. Starr regroups and kicks Blanchard’s hands. That makes the Minnesota native fall to the outside. Bobby O calls for the count. He makes it to five before Blanchard is back in. Blanchard gets Starr in the corner for chops. That’s of no avail as Starr shakes them off. Blanchard pokes him in the eye. Blanchard is on the attack. There’s a snap mare and rear chin lock on the new champion. Starr is down for a one count. A back elbow drops him down . Starr is in the ropes, where Blanchard uses them as a weapon. There’s a bodyslam and Starr is down. Blanchard once again uses the ropes, this time as a way to choke Starr. Blanchard picks him up, just to kick him in the groin. Blanchard then kicks him in the hamstring. Blanchard drags that leg over the bottom rope. Blanchard goes for the Figure Four but Starr rolls him up into a small package. There’s a kickout at one. Blanchard gets Starr down and into a Sleeper hold. Starr breaks out of it. Blanchard follows with a spinebuster. Both men are down at this point. Blanchard is the first one up. Blanchard goes to the top rope for a big move, but Starr catches him and tosses him across the ring instead. Starr follows that up with forearms. There’s a sunset flip and two count on Blanchard. Starr continues the offense until Blanchard breaks up the offense by pulling hair. Starr gets Blanchard in the Figure Four. He doesn’t give up. Blanchard’s shoulders fall onto the mat and pulls them up at the two count. Blanchard gets to the ropes and breaks up the hold. Tommy Faime appears at ringside. He distracts Bobby O. Starr is knocked down, Blanchard makes the pin with his boots firmly hooked into the ropes. Bobby O doesn’t see it and counts to three. The winner and new Golden Triangle Champion is Shawn Blanchard! Before the celebration can commence, KSWA Head Referee David Fedor, who has had his issues with Blanchard, rushes to the ring and explains to Bobby O and KSWA Kommissioner Joe Perri that an injustice has been perpetrated. With that, Bobby O calls for the match to be restarted. The bell rings, Starr attacks Blanchard, and gets him down. Starr slaps on the Sharpshooter. Blanchard taps out! The winner and still Golden Triangle Champion is Shane Starr. 13:47
Del Douglas v. Jack Massacre
Say what one will about Del Douglas, but the “King” is a true competitor. Only a few weeks from taking the beating of his career from T-Rantula, Douglas is back taking on the 7-foot-tall Jack Massacre. The bell rings and Douglas says he doesn’t want to embarrass Massacre in front of all the Sharpsburg fans. Douglas calls for a test of strength, but he can’t reach the outstretched limb of Jack Massacre, which would probably come close to the net of a basketball hoop. Douglas takes charge by going to the corner post. Massacre follows and clasps hands. He then pivots and fires Douglas across the ring. Once up, Douglas is dropped by a headbutt. Douglas gets up and punches Massacre. That doesn’t faze the giant. In fact, it only angers him. Douglas is knocked down with another head butt and then picked up by only one leg. Douglas shouts in fear and pain. Massacre tosses him down and plants another head butt. Then Massacre stands on his back. Understandably, Douglas is slow in getting up. Massacre overhand chops Douglas in the chest. Massacre goes from one post to four, matching each higher number with that amount of chops to Douglas’ chest. A clothesline drops Douglas for good. Douglas retaliates by low blowing Massacre. Douglas uses his wrist tape to choke the stunned giant. Douglas follows that up with a series of forearms to Massacre’s back. Douglas goes for a headlock but Massacre tosses him aside. Massacre, not to be outdone, puts a sleeper hold on Douglas. Massacre suplexes Douglas after that. Two count. Douglas wants a time out. He doesn’t get it. Massacre gives him a power bomb and records the win. 7:30.
KSWA World Title: Lou Martin (w/Tommy Faime) v. Kris Kash (w/Bobby O)
Lou Martin promises fans at ringside that once he wins the title, he will take pictures with them for $20 a head. Cash up front is required. The match is interesting in that KSWA Owners Bobby O and Tommy Faime are both at ringside. That proves the importance of this match. Right before the bell rings, Martin pulls Kash down and out from the ring and onto the concrete of the basketball court. Once on the floor, Kash rallies with chops and punches. Martin is rammed into the corner post. Kash kicks martin on the outside. Martin gets tossed into tables. Kash hits him with a trash can which was later determined to have a higher amount of chewing tobacco than per capita averages would allow. Even before this point, it was clear that referee David Fedor was going to allow more leeway than usual. Kash misses with a splash on the outside. Martin follows with a chair shot. Martin bodyslams Kash on a table. Martin is back in. Kash follows than flies through the air and lands a cross body block on Martin. Kash whips him into the corner. Kash hits a tilt a whirl drop kick. He follows that with a leg drop as Martin is stretched over the apron. The action spills to the floor once again. Kash smashes Martin in the head with the door to the outdoor fuse box and then with whatever he can find. Martin, who has had more of this type of matches than perhaps anyone in KSWA history, rallies. He tosses Kash into the chain link fence. Martin follows that with a brutal fish hook on Kash’s face. The action moves back into the ring. Kash is posted into the corner for a splash. Martin hits a side slam. Martin pins Kash and gets two. Kash reverses the measure and gets a two count of his own. Kash hits Martin with leg scissors and flips him to the mat. At this point, Bobby O marches into the locker room and comes back with three folding chairs. He tosses them into the ring Martin is in the corner. He positions a chair on Martin’s chest. He sets up another in the middle of the ring. Kash races, leaps from the chair and drop kicks into Martin. Martin is positioned in the center of the ring. Kash puts three chairs on his chest and goes to the top rope. He swon tons off of the top and onto the prone Martin. The winner and still KSWA World Champion is Kris Kash. 11:11.
Thus concludes Sharpsburg Slam.