Kash & Flash Heat Up, Morris Retains, Spear Asylum Haunts Jester At St Raphael’s School Fundraiser
September 25, 2016
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist
One of the most spectacular feuds anywhere in 2016 has been between KSWA Champion Jay Flash and the man he beat for the most prestigious title in the Commonwealth, Kris Kash. Although the two have only had a single one-on-one match, the intensity between the Megastars has been palpable. In the seven years the two have been in the KSWA together, they have only faced off in the championship match, and this tag team competition. In addition, Harley T. Morris has unsuspected trouble holding onto the 5-Star Championship and the KSWA tag team champions continue to keep their top competition at by.
King Del Douglas and Nick Crane (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Party Gras
The returning Mayor Mystery wants an entire row of St. Raphael’s students tossed before the match begins, but KSWA Owner Bobby O say no. Lord Zoltan dances with the entire crowd and then dances with Head Referee David Fedor, who catches himself in the shenanigans. The bell rings and Lord Zoltan starts off with old foe Nick Crane. Zoltan and Sane aren’t sure which corner they want to start in. Zoltan gets the crowd to chant, “USA!! USA!!” Douglas tries to get the crowd to chant “Canada! Canada!” to no avail. The crowd shouts USA louder. Zoltan gets Crane’s wrist and wrings it and shakes it before tagging in Justin Sane, who crisscrosses the ropes and jumps on Crane’s arm. Sane gets the wrist and Zoltan encourages him to “Break it off!” Sane goes to the apron and drops Crane’s arm over the top rope. Sane goes Old School and smashes Crane’s arm. Zoltan is tagged back in. Zoltan wrings the arm and drops Crane to the mat. Douglas rushes in and Zoltan knocks him down. Sane enters and Party Gras row boats the legs of their opponents. Sane goes to pin Crane and gets two. Crane rakes the eyes of Sane and tags in Douglas. Douglas knocks Sane down for a two count. Douglas gets a head-lock on Sane. Crane goes to work on the head and neck on Sane while in the ropes. Sane drops to the mat. Mayor Mystery encourages a pin. He gets two. Douglas goes to the top rope and hits Sane with the Fist that’s banned in 49 out of the 50 states. Douglas gets a two count. Douglas runs Sane across the ropes and knees him in the gut. Two count. Douglas picks up Sane and posts him in the ropes and into Mayor Mystery’s clutches. Mystery goes to work with the ropes and his cane. Two count follows as Crane is tagged back in. Crane teases a tag to Zoltan. He tags Douglas back in. Douglas grabs Sane by the crotch and chops him down for a two count. Mayor Mystery believes the count was 3, but it wasn’t. Douglas keeps Sane in his corner. Crane is tagged back in. Sane ducks under a clothesline and levels Crane with one. Both Megastars are down, as the move exhausted Sane. Sane tags Zoltan and Douglas tags Crane. All four Megastars are in the ring. Zoltan on Crane and Sane on Douglas. They are thrown together in the center of the ring. Crane falls out. Douglas is in the center of the ring. Frog splash for the win! 11:08
Shawn Blanchard v Mitch Napier
Shawn Blanchard successfully hides a foreign object as the kids at ringside go crazy. Napier meets Blanchard with a series of drop kicks that ultimately send him to the floor. Napier brings him back in the hard way over the top rope. Napier continues to hold him down and pressures the shoulder. Napier picks up Blanchard and the former 6-time champion gouges him the eye. Blanchard goes to work with the illegal object. He smashes Napier’s head into the turnbuckle and chops him in the chest. Blanchard drops him and goes for the pin. Two count. Blanchard German Suplexes Napier and gets a two count. Blanchard picks him up and pokes him in the throat. Blanchard chokes Napier with his own T shirt. Napier will not submit. Blanchard mule kicks him down. Blanchard threatens to “Make a Wish” with Napier’s legs, before kicking him in the privates. Blanchard picks up Napier and out of nowhere, Mitch hits the Sioux Falls Slam. He locks in the ankle lock and after some significant pressure, Blanchard submits! 7:03. Post-match, Fedor finds the illegal object, all to the kids’ delight!
5-Star Championship: Joey Quervo v. Harley T. Morris (w/David Marbell)
Joey Quervo makes his way to the ring and then Marbell accompanies Marbell. The bell rings and Morris complains aloud that Quervo, a noted drunk in a mask, is his opponent. Morris shoves him down but Quervo gets up and drops him with a toe hold. Morris angrily rushes Quervo who dodges him and sends the 5-Star champion to the floor. Quervo brings him in the Hard Way from the apron and keeps the pressure on until Morris gets some offense. Morris sends Quervo into Marbell for some illegal assault. Morris drop kicks Quervo in the corner. Then Morris drops a knee. Quervo Is on the apron for a leg drop. Morris brings him in for a pin attempt. He gets two. Sunset flip out of nowhere for Quervo and he gets a very close two and a half count. Morris distracts Fedor and Marbell attacks Quervo. Morris throws a spinning punch and lands Quervo down for a two count. Morris gets Quervo in a sleeper hold. He only gets a two count on the sleeper before Quervo kind of battles out. A two count is next for Quervo. Quervo meets a splash attempt with a back elbow. He lands a drop kick. Morris hits a version of Mitch Napier’s Sioux Falls Slam and only gets a two count. Morris uses the ropes on Quervo and Marbell smacks the Luchadore in the head. Morris knees Quervo in the head. The two run the ropes and hit each other with a flying cross body block. Both are down for a count. Fedor counts to six before they trade punches. Morris is the first up. He reigns blows on Quervo. Joey hits a clothesline. In all Quervo hits three clotheslines. There’s a boot to Morris and then a spinning neck breaker. Marbell grabs his ankle. That’s enough of a distract for Morris to hit the back breaker and a face-first DDT into the mat. The winner and still 5-Star Champion is Harley T. Morris. 8:27.
Lou Martin v. T-Rantula
Martin is confident outside of the ring and moreso inside the squared circle. T-Rantula makes his way to the ring. The bell rings and Lou Martin wants to go for the Test of Strength. Martin ducks the test of strength but he cannot duck T-Rantula’s right hand. T follows that up with a bodyslam. Martin is forced into the corner for a big overhand chop. Then, another corner, another chop. He goes for another but Martin gouges him in the eye. Martin whips T Rantula into the corner and hits a splash. Martin goes to work on T Rantula’s massive legs. Once in the ropes, Martin uses that to his advantage. He continues to choke T Rantula and then lands a leg drop while he is still posted. T Rantula fights out with fists. He dumps Martin to the outside. T says its Nacho Time. He plasters Martin with an order of nachos. Martin is rolled back in. He is met with T’s choke slam for the win! 4:51
Vinnie Stone (w/Mayor Mystery) v. Jack Massacre
Mayor Mystery is in prime form as he complains about kids at ringside. Massacre tosses Stone around before the tag team champion pokes him in the throat. Stone, a well-known striker, pounds away at Massacre until the giant actually falls to one knee. Massacre has little of that as he rams Stone into the corner. Stone jabs at Fedor, who fights back. Massacre is able to hit Stone with a clothesline. He follows that up with a power bomb for the win! 3:00
Bobby Badfingers (w/Mayor Mystery) v The Jester
The Jester races in and chases Badfingers and Mayor Mystery out of the ring. Once the bell rings, Jester slaps Badfingers in the buttocks. Jester plays around with a Test of Strength before Badfingers backed off. Jester drops him down with a toe hold and rides him “like a horsey,” all the while smacking his buttocks. Fedor says Badfingers is “not a horsey.” Jester grabs Badfingers by the arm and hip tosses him down. Badfingers gets to his feet and pokes Jester in the eye. Jester falls to the corner where Mayor Mystery and his cane meet him. Badfingers gets Jester down for a two count. Once again, Fedor is distracted, and that’s enough for Mystery to get involved on the outside. Two different pin attempts are tried. Badfingers pulls Jester up for a series of punches and a bodyslam. Badfingers goes to the top rope and lands a big punch. Two count on The Jester. Badfingers spreads Jester’s legs and drops a leg of his own onto Jester’s expansive midsection. Mayor Mystery goes to work with the cane, but Jester fights back and lands a boot to Badfinger’s temple. Both men are down. Fedor counts to six before Jester gets up. He rushes Badfingers. Badfinders is whipped into the corner and hit with a reverse splash. Bodyslam and running cannonball is next. There’s a two and three-quarters count. Jester is up to kick Badfingers. He kicks him down. Jester goes to the top rope for the Frog splash. Vinnie Stone rushes in and clobbers him with the tag belt. Jester is wobbly and Badfingers spears him. Badfingers then makes the pin. 7:03. Afterwards, the Spear Asylum continues their assault and spear The Jester again. No one came to The Jester’s aide and no one has come forward to help cash in the Jester’s Battle Bowl contract for the tag championship.
Tommy Faime and Jay Flash v. Shane Starr and Kris Kash
The bell rings as this is in a historic match. All participants have either been KSWA World Champions, or are the current title holder…Jay Flash. This combination has never faced off before and it may be the first time that four former (or current) KSWA champions not named Blanchard or Martin have been in a match together. Tommy Faime starts off against Shane Starr. He punches Starr and whips him into the ropes, but Starr drop kicks him down. Faime tags in Flash and Starr tags in Kash. Flash pushes Kash into the corner and punches him in the head. The action is fast and furious with chops to the chest and a drop kick by Kash. Flash falls to the outside and Kash dives on top of him. Kash tosses Flash back in and hits a flying head scissors. Flash goes for a power bomb but Kash rolls through it. There’s a two count. The action is fast as Starr is tagged in and he and Flash go round and round. Starr falls to the outside where he regroups. Once back in, Flash continues to go to work. There’s another two count on Starr. Faime is tagged in and he goes to work on Starr. Faime, who has dropped significant weight in recent months, is in fighting shape. He scoops Starr up and bodyslams him. Two count. A big splash is next. Two count. Faime tosses Starr into the corner and Flash’s boot. Flash is tagged in and he drapes Starr into the ropes. Flash dives over the top rope and drives Starr down. Another two count. Flash goes after Kash on the outside and knocks him off the apron. Starr tries to fight out of a head lock. He goes for elbows, but Flash pulls him down from behind. Faime is in and suplexes Starr in the center of the ring. Faime argues with fans at ringside. That allows Starr time to get up and small package Faime. He gets a two count. Flash is tagged back in. He continues to keep Starr down on the mat. Another two count. Flash kicks Starr in the head. Faime is tagged back in. Faime measures his next move before dropping a leg on Starr. Bobby O prowls the ring. Starr tries to get to the corner but he can’t quite make it. He finally makes it and Kash is tagged in. He is a house a fire on Flash. Flash returns the favor and whips him into the corner. Kash comes out and hits him with a dive. Kash hits Flash with a Whisper in the Wind and gets the win. 11:35.