Malachi Crunches Gregory, Alexander, Renegades, Starr & J-Ru All Retain At KSWA Guyasuta Fundraiser
August 15, 2021
By Trapper Tom, Editor, KSWA Digest
The Megastars of the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) traveled to Sharpsburg for a Boy Scout fundraiser. A retired Hall of Famer returned to the ring, and all of the most coveted titles in the Commonwealth all remained with their claimants Saturday afternoon.
Five Star Championship: J-Ru (champion) v. The Regent Joshua Kavod
The veteran J-Ru faced a debuting “Regent” Joshua Kavod to open the afternoon. Referee Jimmy James wants to see what is in J-Ru’s briefcase. It turns out that it contains the Five Star Championship. J-Ru calls the belt the “most beautiful in the state of Pennsylvania.” The bell rings and J-Ru gets Kavod in a headlock. The challenger will not give up. J-Ru comes off the ropes and shoulder blocks Kavod down. He rallies and kicks J-Ru in the head. The offense continues between the two. The Regent whips J-Ru across the ring. J-Ru bails to the apron and is brought in the hard way. A drop kick floors J-Ru and Kavod flips over the top rope and onto Ju-Ru. He gets a two count on the pin attempt. J-Ru is caught in a flying leg scissors and Kavod is ready for a couple of arm drags. Kavod dives on J-Ru and tries for a dive off the top rope. The champion moves. J-Ru drops Kavod with a side suplex and nearly gets a pinfall but comes up short. J-Ru chokes Kavod and gets him into the ropes. J-Ru overhand chops him there and tries to whip him across the ring. He misses. Kavod splashes and jumps on J-Ru but only gets a two-count. The two chop and slap each other repeatedly. J-Ru clotheslines the challenger. There’s a lazy with J-Ru putting a foot on Kavod’s chest, but that attempt only gets a two-count. J-Ru whips Kavod across the ring and preens just enough that Kavod gets out of the way of a splash. J-Ru is down, Kavod tries for a pin but only gets two. Kavod is tossed into the corner and J-Ru and the ref fight over the briefcase. J-Ru gets Kavod down and Jimmy James counts to two. The two trade right hands and J-Ru goes for the eyes. Kavod and J-Ru miss offense and go after one another. J-Ru drops Kavod in the center of the ring and scores the victory. 9:30
Dennis Gregory v. Big Mike Malachi
The two men make their way to the ring. This is Malachi’s first match since December 7, 2019 when he was the casualty of a “Loser Leaves KSWA” match. Here, Malachi returns appreciative and happy. Gregory is grump. Gregory argues that he looks better in sequins than Malachi. Gregory offers a disingenuous hand to the KSWA Hall of Famer. The two big men lock up. Gregory pushes Malachi in the corner and delivers a right hand to the stomach before the break. They lock up again and Gregory gets the upper arm bar. He delivers a knee and drops Malachi to his knee. Malachi tries to break out of it, but Gregory pulls him down from behind by pulling Malachi’s impressive mane. Gregory kicks him down and drops him with a straight right hand. Gregory applies a headlock. Malachi gets a headlock on Gregory. The two exchange chain wrestling moves and Malachi gets Gregory down. Gregory charges and hits with a knee. Gregory drops Malachi down and kicks him for good measure. Out of nowhere, Malachi hits two arm drags and Gregory takes the opportunity to bail. Gregory grabs a chair and brings it into the ring. That is enough to distract the referee and deliver a low blow. Gregory has the chance to take charge with some high impact moves. The aforementioned chair is still in the ring and Gregory points it out. Patrick pushes the chair off the apron and to the grass. That allows Gregory move time for illegal moves. Gregory knocks Malachi to the grass. Referee Patrick counts Malachi on the outside. Patrick gets to seven before Malachi, the veteran, uses the time to catch his breath. Malachi slaps Gregory and the Golden Boy punches and chokes Malachi in the center of the ring. Malachi is nearly defenseless as Gregory pounds away. There’s a two-count on the big man. Gregory hits a neck breaker and gets a two count. Gregory has Malachi in a rear chin lock. Malachi gets a boot on the bottom rope. Gregory kicks away on the Hall of Famer. Gregory misses with a splash. Malachi hits a belly-to-belly suplex and Gregory is rattled. Malachi gets him up for a huge suplex. Both Megastars are spent. Gregory goes for the ring bell. He plasters Malachi with it right in front of Patrick. Shawn calls a disqualification at 11:11. Malachi hits an arguing Gregory with the Malachi Crunch and the fans are ecstatic.
Del Douglas with Shawn Blanchard v. Lou Martin with Justin Hultman
The bell rings and the two veterans take turns pandering to the crowd Lou repeatedly wins before Douglas attacks Martin from behind. Douglas puts a boot into Martin’s throat. Debuting referee “The Count” Mark Charles III repeatedly admonishes Douglas. Douglas grabs Martin in the crotch and drops him down. Douglas synchs in a knee in the back and pulls Martin’s arms back. He will not give up. Douglas eventually tires and tosses Martin to the outside. Blanchard attacks Martin on the outside. Douglas drops an elbow on Martin and gets a two count. Douglas uses his wrist tape to attack Martin. Blanchard distracts Charles on the other side of the ring. Martin runs the ropes and cross body blocks Douglas down. He drops a leg and gets a two count. Douglas is in the ropes and Martin dives on Douglas. Martin digs his knee in Douglas’ back and pulls his arms back. Douglas calls out for help for a woman at ringside. She doesn’t heed the call. Martin has Douglas down for a two count. Douglas is posted in the corner and Martin chops him in the chest. He continues to take Douglas to other corners and crushes him in the chest. Douglas falls after the fourth corner. Martin elbows Douglas and bodyslams The King. He drops a leg from the top rope. Douglas, angered by the Count, goes after the official. Douglas ties Martin to the Tree of Woe. Blanchard jabs at Martin and Douglas drop kicks The Face of Pittsburgh. Douglas goes for his finish, but Martin picks him up for an airplane spin. He drops him down and gets the win in 8:50. Justin Hultman goes into the ring and hugs Martin after the victory.
KSWA Heavyweight Championship: Dan Murphy v. Anthony Alexander (champion)
Referee Shawn Patrick has his hands full with a boastful Officer Dan Murphy and the KSWA Champion. Murphy, as usual, wants the match over quickly because “I have a shift.” The two big men lock up and Murphy tosses Alexander into a corner. The two lock up again and this time, Alexander pushes the challenger into the corner. Alexander can be heard saying, “It’s time to take care of business.” With that, Murphy kicks Alexander in the gut, punches away and is leveled by the Champion with a series of clotheslines. Alexander dives on Murphy and he bails to the outside. Murphy “wants coffee” but is met with a series of right hands by the champion. Both men are back inside the ring and Alexander misses with a splash. Murphy kicks him into a corner. Murphy whips Alexander into a corner. Murphy, larger and perhaps more powerful, whips Alexander into another corner and then another. Each whip is harder and shakes the ring more. Alexander is down. He reaches out for the fans who cheer for him. Murphy keeps the offense on Double-A to the point a child can be heard asking if he was “okay.” Murphy catches Alexander and drops him with a back breaker. The fans start a “Double-A” chant. Murphy gets Alexander in a bear hug. Murphy talks trash, and implores him to give up. Alexander fights back and claps the ears of the challenger. Alexander gets some offense, but Murphy catches him and plants another back breaker. It’s a solid strategy for Murphy. He misses with a flying splash. Alexander lands the Prime-Time Cancellation for the victory. 7:30.
KSWA Tag Team Championship: The Good Guys v. The Renegades (champions)
Challengers Zak Hunter and Brent Noctus hit the ring and then it’s champions Big Country Matt McGraw and Yinza, the Pittsburgh Luchadore. Referee Mark Charles III takes the gold from the champions and raise the titles into the sky. The Good Guys take their time getting into the ring. The bell rings and Zak Hunter has a hard time sliding into the ring from the outside. It’s Hunter and Big Country to start. Hunter tries to out muscle McGraw, but that doesn’t work. Hunter wants a test of strength, but he stalls. Immediately, McGraw drops Hunter to the mat as soon as the Test of Strength is administered. Noctus is tagged in but he immediately tags Hunter back in. Zak wants the Pittsburgh Luchadore. Hunter ducks a lock up. Yinza goes in again, and Hunter ducks. He tags in and it’s Noctus who locks up with Yinza and applies a headlock. Yinza is dropped. Noctus tags Hunter and he splashes for a pin attempt. Hunter whips Yinza into the ropes, and he is floored with a sunset flip. Yinza continues to try and keep Hunter on the mat. He gets to the corner and tags in Noctus. An arm drag and then another are hit by Yinza. He tags McGraw back in and he whips, splashes and snap mares Noctus. McGraw keeps the power moves going and he tags in Yinza. Yinza calls for the “Three Rivers” Monkey flips. First, the Allegheny, then the Ohio and then the Monongahela. However, that is disrupted by Hunter. Noctus gets the upper hand and tags in Hunter. The two hit double elbows on Yinza in the corner. Hunter gets Yinza into their corner. They double team as the Count counts. The referee is distracted and the Good Guys illegally double team Yinza. Hunter goes for a lazy count on Yinza. He kicks out. Noctus is in and he reverse knife edge chops Yinza. Noctus is tossed in the corner and Yinza monkey flips him out, perhaps representing the “third river”. Yinza climbs to McGraw and Noctus gets to Hunter. Soon, all four Megastars are in the ring. McGraw over hand chops Hunter and the two hit their signature move for the win. 8:30.
KSWA Golden Triangle Championship: BROhemoth with Shawn Blanchard v. Shane Starr (champion)
BROhemoth, who appears in better shape than any other time in his KSWA history, is hungry for individual gold. He is further guided by the OG of the VIPs, Shawn Blanchard. Referee Jimmy James hoists the championship and BROhemoth steams full ahead at Starr. The two brawl and BROhemoth jumps to the outside. BROhemoth, from the apron, grabs Starr and drives him into the top turnbuckle. That’s enough to keep Starr off balance. BROhemoth attacks and bodyslams him down in the center of the ring. Starr does rally momentarily but BROhemoth side slams him down for a two count. BROhemoth argues the count with veteran referee Jimmy James. Starr is energized and drop kicks BROhemoth down. Blanchard grabs Starr’s leg. BROhemoth is disqualified for not listening to the referee. 4:00. J-Ru and Del Douglas rushes in and attacks Starr with BROhemoth. Then, its Lou Martin and Anthony Alexander who run in for the save. “The Man Who Saved Wrestling in Pittsburgh,” KSWA Owner Bobby O comes out, grabs the microphone and makes a six-man tag between the Megastars.
Six Man Tag: J-Ru, Del Douglas, BROhemoth v. Shane Starr, Lou Martin & Shane Starr
Anthony Alexander starts and tosses J-Ru across the ring. J-Ru claims that Alexander pulled his hair. Alexander, and the fans in attendance, disagree. Alexander does it again. Del Douglas is tagged in, signifying the renewal of a historic KSWA rivalry between he and Alexander. The KSWA Champion drops Douglas repeatedly with fists. Alexander hoists Douglas up and tosses him over his head and out of the ring. Martin races over and sends Douglas back in. Alexander whips Douglas into the corner for a clothesline. Martin is tagged in and he peppers Douglas. Martin goes after Blanchard on the outside. Douglas goes low and clubs Martin. Martin is double teamed in the corner by Douglas and BROhemoth. The referee is continually distracted by J-Ru as shenanigans go on. Referee Jimmy James allows for a great deal of leeway. BROhemoth slams Martin and drops a big leg. There’s a two count. BROhemoth bodyslams J-Ru on Martin. J-Ru chokes Martin and plants Martin’s head hard onto the top rope. J-Ru antagonizes Alexander and Starr. BROhemoth, J-Ru and Douglas triple-team Martin. Martin is able to rally enough to DDT BROhemoth in the center of the ring. Martin kicks BROhemoth in the head and that allows The Face of Pittsburgh time to recover. He gets to Starr and the Golden Triangle Champion is in to floor his opponents. However, BROhemoth lands a World’s Strongest Slam on Starr. Alexander is in and drops BRO. Martin hits the Death Certificate on Martin. Starr is in, drops Douglas for a Sharpshooter and gets the submission win. 9:15.