Sane Stuns, Grayson Impresses, “Garbage” Retains, J-Ru’s Day In Natrona Heights Sun Was Bright

August 21, 2022
By Bobby O, KSWA Digest
[KSWA Digest would like to thank Owner Bobby O for the recap and Tim Steiner for photographs as Editor Trapper Tom remains on assignment. He returns September 10 at the next KSWA event.]

The Keystone State Wrestling Alliance returned to Birdville for the second consecutive year to support our friends at Citizens Hose Fire/Rescue/EMS for a fundraising day of food, fun and frivolity. Seven great matches capped off a sun splashed day with our friends in Natrona Heights!

Justin Sane vs. Shawn Blanchard w/King Del Douglas

The competitors lock up and Blanchard leads with, and arm drag that Sane reverses into a head scissor. Blanchard counters with a headlock that Sane again reverses into a head scissor. Sane arm drags the Enforcer and then begins to work on his left arm. Sane keg drops the arm and then bites Blanchard’s hand. He follows with several head butts to the arm before biting Blanchard’s hand once again. After an arm wringer, Sane wrenches Blanchard’s arm over the top rope and takes the arm again with him to the top rope. Sane hits “old school” arm dragging Blanchard after springing from the rope. Sane stays on the arm before Blanchard backs Sane into the corner and breaks up the attack with a stiff right hand. The OG of the VIPs drops Sane with a back elbow and gets a two count. Blanchard applies a chin lock, a nose pull, a fishhook and finally an ear pull all while singing Kenny Roger’s tunes to the crowd among constant admonishment by referee Shawn Patrick. Sane begins to battle back with a few elbows to Blanchard’s gut, who stops the attack with a well-executed spine buster that bets a two count. The Enforcer clubs Sane with a few rights and when The King Del Douglas distracts Patrick, Blanchard waylays Sane with a double chop to the throat and then apparently uses a foreign object before raking Sane’s eyes. As Blanchard garners Patrick’s attention, The King chokes Sane. Blanchard then rams Sane into the turnbuckle several times, after the fourth time, Sane begins to laugh maniacally. Sane becomes glassy eyed and looks demented as Blanchard leads him to another corner and another turnbuckle. Sane begins to foam at the mouth and then proceeds to ram his own head into the turnbuckle repeatedly. A perplexed Blanchard then thumbs Sane’s eye temporarily stopping the outburst. Blanchard heads to the top rope in the corner, but Sane pounces and after a big-time body slam, he gets a two count. Sane reverses a whip and sends Blanchard into the corner, then smashes his opponent with a double axe handle and then lands a DDT. Douglas gets on the ring apron and is promptly deposited back to the outside by Sane’s right hand. Sane turns around and hits Blanchard with the “Famouser” and gets the three count for a stunning upset win. After the match, while the king consoles Blanchard, Sane again smashes his head into the turnbuckle on his own and then begins biting the bottom ropes all while looking menacingly and crazily in Blanchard’s direction. (8:18)

K.S.W.A. Golden Triangle Title Match

K.S.W.A. Golden Triangle Champion - ;Face of Pittsburgh Lou Martin vs. Sin Born w/ Freek

The megastars circle the ring before Martin backs the evil one into the corner before he breaks clean. Sinborn steps behind Martin and applies an armbar, then a wristlock which leads to the corner, where he lands an elbow, a chop, and a shoulder block on the champion. He shoots Martin into the opposite corner and hits a clothesline before raking Martin’s eyes across the top rope causing more damage. With referee Mark Charles III distracted by the malevolent Sinborn, Freek fires a few right hands to Martin’s ribcage which Sinborn enhances with a forearm shiver, but he can only score a one count. Sinborn chokes the Face of Pittsburgh with his leg as the champion is draped across the ropes and Freek again throws a few right hands, this time into Martin’s cranium. Martin is flipped onto his back but again the result is only a count of one. After a body slam, the resilient Martin kicks out again at one. Sinborn then hits a vertical suplex, this time it’s a two count before the champion kicks out. Martin is now bleeding from his chin after the constant double teams, but he is able to duck a clothesline attempt and nails Sinborn with a cross body block. Th resulting pin attempt is broken after two. Martin throws Sinborn to the mat with successive arm drags before a right hand and a body slam send Sinborn to the ring apron. Martin rudely brings his opponent back to the ring the hard way. Martin drops the leg on his opponent, but Sinborn kicks out at two. The Champion then introduces Sinborn to all the top turnbuckles, rattling the megastar with ten counts of buckle pads followed by a bruising chop. The train rolls into the last turnbuckle and with the crowd counting along, Martin plants a big spinning chop on the chest of a stunned Sinborn. But the evil one stops Martin with a desperation double eye remake. He then hits a beautiful fisherman’s suplex followed by a sit-down power bomb and Martin narrowly escapes an upset by getting his shoulder off the mat at two and a half. Sinborn places Martin on the top rope and sets up for a potential title winning super plex, but Martin, the wily champion, fights out of it with several string right hands to Sinborn’s head and body. The Face shoves his opponent to the mat and then launches onto Sinborn with a swanton bomb which leads to a count of three. Martin retains the Golden Triangle championship. (7:40)

As KSWA Owner Bobby O is addressing the Krazies in Birdville, he is interrupted by Mayor Mystery which leads to an impromptu edition of the Mayor’s Office with KSWA Heavyweight Champion J Ru. The Mayor produces a framed proclamation and states that today is “officially” J Ru Day in Birdville. J Ru the produces a check to secure the Mayor’s managerial services for his title defense in the main event versus Yinza. The nefarious duo celebrates with a small confetti cannon at ringside.

K.S.W.A. Tag Team Title Match K.S.W.A. Tag Team Champions - Harley T. Morris & Officer Dan Murphy vs. The Ram; Anthony Drake & Mystery Partner

The Ram’s mystery partner turns out to be a debuting Pav Novak. The debuting megastar hails from McKeesport, PA and after some intrepid investigative work, it turns out that Drake & Novak have previously been a tag team touted as “Corruption.” Before the action gets under way, Morris is greeted with familiar chants of “Harley sucks” and a new chant purporting the tag team champion as “garbage.” As the bell sounds, Morris backs into the Ram and then hastily retreats to his corner before advising everyone that he wants Novak to officially debut. Ram obliges, but Novak is greeted by a Morris armbar which is quickly reversed into a headlock. Morris is able to scramble on top of Novak, but the result is only a one count. The exchange continues, Morris waist lock take over, Novak reversal. Morris side Russian leg sweep which Novak quickly and surprisingly turns around into a count of one on the champion. Novak secures a wristlock and tags Drake. Morris cunningly escapes and runs to his corner to tag his partner Murphy and the two big megastars stare each other down in the center of the squared circle. Murphy backs Ram into the corner and Drake then powers Murphy off to the opposite corner. A clean break ensues, but Murphy arrogantly face palms Drake, which results in an angry snort. The big men trade shoulder blocks, then right hands before Drakes takes control with a series of head butts to Murphy’s chest. Murphy wisely grabs the top rope after the Ram whips him there and even more wisely the Officer tags in the Professional and Morris renters the fray. Ram quickly picks Morris up on his shoulder and heads to his corner to tag Novak. Patel hits a suplex which leads to a count of one from referee Jimmie James. Novak throws Morris to the mat with a Japanese arm drag and then ducks Morris’ clothesline attempt. He stuns Morris with a twisting moon sault but can only get a two count. A short choke slam followed by a standing moon sault send Morris scrambling to the safety of the ropes. Novak applies a side headlock and rolls Morris over for a cover, but Morris regains his wind and the advantage as the action heads to the corner. Morris hits a beautiful cradle release suplex and then drops a knee on Novak’s head, stunning his opponent enough to allow a tag to Murphy. The “lawman” chokes Novak on the middle rope with his big ham hock of a leg before he fells Novak with a thundering side suplex. But Murphy missing a running kick and Novak rolls him up for a quick two count. An angry Murphy plants Novak with a pump kick and then tags Morris and promptly slams his partner on top of their for a count of two. Novak then instinctively blocks a kick from Morris and then hits a cross body block which Morris kicks out off at two. Novak scrambles and tags Drake, but James does not see the exchange and disallows the tag. That leads to Morris & Murphy double teaming Novak while Drake pleads his case. Morris has his chin lock broken up and Novak hits a side suplex, and a double tag brings Drake and Murphy into the match. Ram head butts Murphy and then nails a flying head bitt to floor Murphy. Morris charges in and is greeted by a fall away slam. Novak tags in and after he and Drake double team Murphy, chaos ensues. During the fray, Murphy crotches Ram into the ring post, incapacitating Drake. A running knee lift drops Novak, which leads to a side slam from Morris. Murphy hits a back breaker, and with Novak draped across his knee, Morris lands the Doomsday Device for a three count as an Officer and Gentlemen retain their tag team gold. (10:00)

Shane Starr vs. Edric Everhart

The two megastars with the most flowing locks hook up as the New Uglee battles the Future. A lock up leads to a clean break from Starr in the corner. Everhart grabs a hold of Starr’s hair and rudely leads him into the opposite corner. Starr counters with a double leg takedown, but Everhart scrambles out of Starr’s sharpshooter attempt. The New Uglee gets a pair of roll up two counts and then Starr deftly maneuvers over top of his opponent in the corner which gets anther near fall. A duck under leads to both men exchanging right hands, which Everhart ends abruptly by pulling Starr to the mat by his hair. After Patrick advises that that is illegal, Everhart chokes Starr with the middle rope, which he is also advised is illegal. A frustrated Everhart pulls Starr’s hair again, and then chokes him with the top rope and then Everhart rinses and repeats the sequence. Starr battles back with a stiff right hand and the pair again exchange blows. Starr gets Everhart into the corner, but Everhart fight out as the onrushing Starr eats his boot and then is floored by a kick to the chest. As Everhart jaws with the crowd, Starr takes advantage with a roll up for a two count. Starr is then planted by a big clothesline from Everhart but the Future kicks out at two. Everhart applies a front face lock and continues to engage the Krazies with “unpleasantries.” Starr uses a series of elbow to break free, but Everhart again resorts to pulling Starr’s hair which send him to the canvas. After a quick cover for two, Everhart clubs Starr on the back. An elbow leaves Starr prone. Everhart lands a big kick, after which a stunned and frustrated Starr pulls Everhart to the mat with some payback hairpulling of his own. Both men are temporarily down, then Starr hits a pair of clotheslines followed by a back elbow and a big running clothesline. Starr gets Everhart on his shoulder and as he wiggles away, Starr lands a spinning cutter on his opponent, which leads to a near fall. Starr lines up for a super kick, which Everhart blocks with a counter of a solid forearm and a sit out power bomb which Starr kicks out of at two. Everhart ascends to the middle rope and lines up Starr for “Gotcha.” But the veteran Starr has scouted his opponent well as he deftly avoids the maneuver. Starr picks up Everhart and nails a black hole slam for the win. (9:02)

Big Country Matt McGraw vs. Man-Child w/Freek E. Doyle

The “biggest” match of the card features the battle of the big men, McGraw, and Man-Child. Country face palms his masked opponent, who returns the favor. It happens again, followed by pushes, then punches. McGraw’s shoulder block is shrugged off as is his second one. McGraw then ducks a clothesline and staggers Man-Child with a kick to the knee. Freek distracts Charles as Man-Child clubs McGraw and then works on Big Country’s knee which takes him to the mat. The 400-pound Man-Child chokes McGraw in the corner and then plants a series of kicks into McGraw’s left knee. A huge butt but flattens Big Country in the corner, which is followed by Man-Child nearly choking McGraw lifeless with his tree stump leg on the middle rope. On the break, Freek chokes McGraw. The enraged cowboy sets his sights on Freek, who scampers away like a scalded dog. Man-Child quickly ends that with a big forearm to the back. A head butt is missed, and McGraw gets Man-Child int the corner and blasts him with a big splash and hits an even bigger splash in the opposite corner. A hip toss sends Man-Child to the mat, but McGraw can only get a two count. Man-Child knocks McGraw down and then rudely steps on his back as he literally walks over his opponent. McGraw gets his shoulder up at two after a cover. Man-Child signals for a choke slam, which McGraw blocks and counters with a stunner. McGraw heads to the middle rope in the corner and lands the “Air McGraw” flying clothesline. Both battered big men lie motionless in the middle of the ring. McGraw gets up first and takes the advantage to the corner, where he lands a big right, a double-chop, and a shot to his opponent’s gut. After a third right soupbone lands. McGraw mounts Man-Child in the corner, but Man-Child hits a sit out power bomb, but McGraw kicks out at two. Man-Child signals for an elbow, but McGraw slides out of the way as the big man telegraphed that one. McGraw then lands a series of clubbing forearms to Man-Child’s back, which he follows with a double chop. McGraw then hits a running corner splash. When he sets up Man-Child for another, he whiffs on the second attempt. Man-Child then is able to land a big elbow drop and cover McGraw for a count of three and the victory. (6:15)

K.S.W.A. Five Star Title Match

K.S.W.A. Five Star Champion - Joshua Kavod vs. Tyler Grayson

The leader of the Grayson Nation comes into the contest with a three-match winning streak as Kavod tells the rookie you’ve earned this shot, but you’re going to have to work harder if you want to earn this title. Both megastars shake hands. After a lock up, Kavod drops Grayson with a reverse leg trip and gets a quick two count. After a step over toe hold, Grayson rolls Kavod up for a count of tow and then he ducks a roundhouse kick and gets another roll up, which Kavod kicks out of at two. After Kavod misses a clothesline, Grayson fells him with a hunakarana. Kavod answers the rookie with a hunakarana of his own as the crowd applauds the exchange. Kavod avoids a clothesline and goes behind Grayson for a waist lock. Grayson rolls through, but Kavod keeps hold of his waist. Grayson is able to reverse the hold and then kicks his opponent in the back. He follows with a sliding clothesline and a cover for a near fall. Grayson hits Kavod with a rolling splash which results in a two count. The upstart rookie kicks the champion in the gut and then a trio of suplexes. Grayson covers Kavod who narrowly escapes losing his title after a count or two and a half. Grayson fires off a couple of right hands and then lands a strong kick in the corner. Kavod is able to reverse the whip and then slingshots through the ropes as he clotheslines Grayson in the opposite corner. That results in a cover for a count of two. Kavod then applies an STF. Grayson rolls Kavod over for a count of two, but it does not result in the champion relinquishing the hold. The sequence repeats, but Grayson is still not able to break the submission. Grayson eventually elbows his way out of the hold which leads to a dueling drop kick attempt, standing boot from Kavod, a knife edge from Grayson and then the competitors trade right hands and spinning kicks to each other’s shins. Both men are prone after a double running clothesline. James counts get to seven before the champion gets to his feet. Grayson then kips up and nails Kavod with a super kick, but the upstart can only get a two count. Kavod quickly springs to the top rope, but lands on his feet as his moon sault attempt overshoots Grayson. Grayson blocks a jumping knee lift attempt from Kavod, then lands a forearm, a chop, and a kick to the gut. He lines up the champion for a DDT, but Kavod escapes and flips Grayson off his back and then hits “from the pulpit” to score the victory and retain the Five Star championship. Afterwards, Kavod raises Grayson’s arm and the two megastars hug in a show of sportsmanship and respect much to the delight of the Birdville crowd. (7:33)

K.S.W.A. Heavyweight Title Match

K.S.W.A. Heavyweight Champion - J Ru vs. YINZA

Mayor Mystery escorts the champion to the ring, after J Ru purchase his guidance earlier in the evening. J Ru is of course greeted by derisive teapot chants as he berates the KSWA faithful in attendance. “Teapot” chants arise and then the colorful Pittsburgh Luchador delights the crowd with his up-tempo entrance. He mocks the champion with a teapot pose. As the bell rings, J Ru ducks the lock up and then the champion and the challenger jaw face-to-face. Yinza blocks a right hand, and after landing a pair of jabs, he ducks a J Ru clothesline, which he follows with a sliding clothesline of his own and then an arm drag which sends the champion retreating to the outside to regroup with Mayor Mystery. Upon reentry. J Ru ducks under Yinza and then hits his opponent with a clothesline. But Yinza quickly recovers with his own counterattack, which ends with a scoop slam. Yinza leaps to the second rope in the corner, but the savvy veteran J Ru rolls out of the ring again to recover. Mayor Mystery requests time, which Patrick denies. Yinza hits the asphalt parking lot outside of the ring to stalk a trash talking J Ru. From behind, Yinza clubs the champion with a pair of forearms and after a third one, he sends J Ru towards the ring. Mayor Mystery drapes over the champion on the ring apron to protect his current client. Yinza moves the Mayor out of the way and drops a pair of elbows on J Ru who is prone on the ring apron. Yinza hits an apron leg drop as the crowd’s roars approval with the champion staggered. Mayor Mystery grabs Yinza’s leg as the megastars head into the ring. J Ru seizes the opportunity and crotches the luchador as he is straddling the ropes. J Ru flips Yinza to the mat, but he can only net a two count. He tries a cover with his feet on the ropes for added leverage, but the Black & Gold grappler kicks out at two. J Ru lays in four hard chops and whips Yinza from corner to corner. The champion then hits a sling shot clothesline as he hangs between the ropes in the opposite corner. Another chop and then Yinza is sent into the opposite corner again. Yinza and J Ru then battle as the former tag team champion seems to be regaining his mojo against the current heavyweight champion. Further proof of such, Yinza nails J Ru with a back stabber near off the ropes. Mayor Mystery earns his money, as he grabs J Ru’s leg and outs it on the rope which stops the hall-of-famer Patrick’s count at two, narrowly avoiding Yinza grabbing the states most coveted title. J Ru gets his second wind, rolls into the ring and takes the boots to Yinza. He lowers his suspenders as he is sufficiently confident in victory, but his cover only gets a count of two. Yinza then tries a rolling monkey flip, which the veteran champion blocks. After Yinza blocks a right- handed punch attempt, his second attempt at the monkey flip lands J Ru on the mat and the champion is the taken for a ride along the “Allegheny, Ohio and Monongahela” with the subsequent three rivers maneuver from the luchador. The result, however, is only a count of two. Yinza attempts another monkey flip, but J Ru is onto it and counters with a heavy chop to Yinza’s chest. The challenger is whipped into the opposite corner, and he avoids an onrushing forearm attempt from J Ru. Undaunted, another black and gold monkey flips score the challenger a near fall. J Ru heads outside of the ring once again. Yinza follows and ends up arguing with Mayor Mystery. The wily J Ru crawl underneath the ring and emerges from the other side and stuns a surprised Yinza with a sliding drop kick to the back. He then slams Yinza into the ring post face first. J Ru eventually gets Yinza into position for a cover, but Patrick is out of position as he was arguing with Mayor Mystery and the slow count allows Yinza to kick out of the pin attempt. Mayor Mystery distracts Patrick again, but his attempt to throw his cane to J Ru is intercepted by Yinza. Yinza seizes the opportunity to try and win gold and floors J Ru with the cane. He covers J Ru for what seems like an eternity. But the argumentative Mayor keeps Patrick at bay for enough time that the frustrated luchador gives up and goes to ringside to give Mayor Mystery a piece of his mind and possibly a piece of his fists. As Yinza grabs the champions hired advisor, Mayor Mystery is able to grab ahold of a second small confetti cannon as Patrick intercedes in the scuffle. Mystery blows the cannon up in Yinza’s face, stunning the challenger and temporarily disorienting Patrick. Yinza stumbles back into the ring and is promptly greeted with the framed J Ru Day proclamation, which is cracked over his masked melon. Patrick is back in the ring and sees J Ru covering Yinza. He counts to three, and the winner and still KSWA Heavyweight champion, J Ru. Yinza is appropriately angered, and he tries to exact revenge on J Ru. However, the not so heroic champion bolts from the ring, leaving Mayor Mystery alone with the Pittsburgh Luchador. Yinza drops Mayor Mystery to the mat and the disappointed crowd, cheers lustily as the administrator from Parts Unknown gets his just desserts for his dastardly deeds during the math. (9:40)

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